


Broken Hearts, Severed Limbs

by koulakoukoula



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Depression, Dom/sub, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Overprotective Levi, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, idk how imma do it but imma make yall cry, idk if i'll achieve fluff i mean it's levi is it even possible, longfic, sooooo much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:34:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 56
Words: 166,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28874664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koulakoukoula/pseuds/koulakoukoula
Summary: Nathalie and Levi have been together ever since they were children. They had nothing and no one to rely onto but each other. Both, broken by the loss of their friends Isabel and Furlan, accept their fate to serve under Commander Erwin Smith as soldiers of the Scout Regiment.Nathalie and his squad are the only ones he has left and even after the Levi Squad is wiped out, he will do anything to protect her.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Erwin Smith & Original Female Character(s), Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Comments: 491
Kudos: 370





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everybody! So, this is gonna be a big-ass longfic (I hope so). It's a long, long, long, boring slow-burn, and so just letting you know, that the characters won't be kissing until chapter 60 _or something_ 🤣🤣🤣 
> 
> Nah, just kidding, it'll probably be before chapter 60 🙄
> 
> Anyways! Do expect to find spoilers for Season 1, 2, 3, and 4, and OVAs 4, and 5 (or the Mangas, I'mma use both) since I will be following closely the Canonical plot, but I will make sure there will always be a little bit of **Relationship Development** in every chapter between Nathalee and Levi to keep y'all interested!
> 
> Even though I usually upload one chapter per day, I cannot promise I can keep it up like this, nor can I promise I will even complete this story. I'm at that point in life where things start to get busy 😫
> 
> Oh! And I almost forgot! I know I should refer to Hange as 'they', but I ship them with Moblit so much (it's that guy who's always with her) 😍😍 so if you see me using 'her' or 'she' I'M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE, I SWEAR I have absolutely NOTHING against the LGBTQ ideals, I completely support them! Heck, my bff is gay and I love him! But for the sake of making my ship sail (Hange x Moblit) it's a 'she' in this fic and lemme just repeat I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST LGBTQ I'm only doing this for the sake of the story, but I also might add a _lil bit of Hange x Nathalie cuz honestly, I'd let Hange step on me, I love them_ 😍😫 
> 
> Enough ranting on my part! I hope you all enjoy! Please lemme know if you do through your Kudos and Comments! 😘❤

He heard the loud voice of someone calling for help. A little girl, perhaps, and for a moment, he didn’t even consider helping her. He didn’t _care._ Or at least he tried to convince himself that he didn’t. Other people’s problems were none of his concerns, and that _old man_ had made sure he taught him that before abandoning him in the Underground. In that misty, dark place where none dared to dream of the light of the day. The soft brush of the outside, clear wind. The sound of the leaves of trees as the wind would brush against them.

Levi hadn’t known any of these. _No._ He hadn’t known a life that he could be fond of. The smell of his mother’s corpse as it rotted away was still lingering in his senses. He groaned. His fingers tightened around the leather stem of the knife that the old man had given him before he vanished in a crowd of people. Was he not enough? Was he not responding well to that old man’s teachings? Why did he have to cast him aside? Why did he have to be so alone?

It was always better to be alone. He could care for himself, just fine. The old man had made sure he taught him that, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a six-year-old kid that had lived those six years the kind of life that no one deserved. Levi stood up. _No._ No one deserved that kind of life. Everyone deserved to have someone _there._ He couldn’t care less about protection, and he couldn’t care less about playing the hero. But those screams were those of a little girl’s. A little girl that was about to be cast upon a fate that _no one deserves._

Levi made quick work of it. He reached the backyard of a building where he spotted the sound. It was two men about to rape a little girl. Levi frowned. _Disgusting._ He slit their throats. He was so fast, none of the two got to react in time. They fell on the stony ground, revealing the little girl that had been cornered on the wall. She didn’t look older than him. Maybe a year younger. Her legs were folded against her chest as she buried her face on her knees and wept there silently. She looked beaten. She did have a couple of bruises on her exposed hands, and her clothes were dirty and bloody in some places.

She looked up at him. She had bright blue eyes and pale brown messy hair that barely reached her shoulders. She was in a gown that must’ve been white.

“Oi, you’re safe, quit crying,” Levi frowned before he tucked the knife in his belt and turned around to leave.

“N- No! Wait!” Levi felt the need to bang his head against a wall. Maybe saving that girl was a terrible idea. She yanked on his sleeve, urging him to turn around and look at her. “Thank you-”

“Thank me by pissing off,” He spat back.

 _Oh,_ but she was stubborn. “Teach me how to do that!”

He had to admit he did not expect such a request. What he expected was her dropping to her knees and spouting her thanks for an irritating amount of time. But _teach her?_ “For what? So that you’d come back one day and stab a knife in my back?”

“I’d never do that!”

“The answer’s no. Go back to your parents,” He pushed her aside and continued walking forwards leaving her back. She didn’t answer to that and for a moment he was relieved that he had probably gotten rid of her. That until she said.

“I don’t have parents,”

He didn’t know exactly what it was that made him stop walking, but he just knew that he did, and his fists clenched. He was only six-years-old but there have been times he just wished he’d never been brought into this world, and _now_ he knew that there was someone else who had also been thinking the same about themselves. Why else would she start crying? She had been cast aside too, _hadn’t she?_

Levi turned and looked at her. She was only a mere few steps away. She had buried her face in her hands, sobbing against them and he sighed. His hand reached for his pocket and he pulled out a handkerchief that he had stolen a few weeks back.

“Oi,” He approached her and she looked up at him. He used that handkerchief to wipe her salty cheeks. “Is crying all you do?” He handed her the piece of cloth before he heaved a sigh. _He was going to regret this_. “I know a place. Follow me,”

Before he even knew it, he was pulled into a hug. One that he desperately tried to break out from. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-”

“Shut up, already,” _How annoying can someone be?_ He pushed her away, but she didn’t seem the least mad about that.

She extended her hand. “I’m Nat,” She had a wide smile on her face, and her eyes shined bright with hope.

It was the first time he had made somebody smile, and quite frankly, he hadn’t even tried, if anything, he was trying his best to be rude and get rid of her, yet she was still smiling. _What the hell’s wrong with that girl?!_ He shook her hand.

“Levi,”


	2. No Regrets Pt. 1

**A couple of years later**

The sound of someone banging on their door drew everybody’s attention. It had been another day like all the rest of them. They had to fight their hardest for food and money. Up until this point, Levi had been continuously rubbing that old knife of his with a handkerchief, and Nathalie couldn’t really help but stare at how many times he was going to rub clean that blade.

She knew he was a clean-freak, but sometimes it still surprised her. She almost leaned close and said sarcastically. “Is it clean yet?”

She’d never forget that deadly glare he shot at her from the corner of his eyes. “Not if I poke your eye out with it,” His voice, colder than ice. It would provoke chills down her spine if she didn’t know better.

Nathalie’s smile did not disappear though and the two of them stared at each other. He had that cold look, and she had that smirk that drove him insane some times. But then the banging came from their door, and Furlan, Levi and Nathalie all jumped on their feet with their daggers in their hands, cautiously approaching the door. Furlan turned at Levi and only when Levi nodded, did he open the door.

The three of them jumped out of the way when a ginger-haired girl landed on their floor with a cry, face down. She was holding something in her hug that the three of them couldn’t quite make out.

Furlan sighed in relief as he pulled his knife away and Nathalie slipped her dagger back beneath her sleeve. “It’s just a kid,” Furlan said, though, Nathalie could tell she wasn’t older than the girl.

“I… am not… a kid!” She cried out, looking up at the three friends with a glare.

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“As a matter of fact, she doesn’t seem to be older than me,” Nathalie said as she leaned down and helped the girl sit on the floor. She was hiding something. Probably something that she had stolen. Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “You’re being chased?”

“Uh…” The girl tensed up. She wasn’t going to answer the question, _was she?_

Levi sighed. “Both being chased, _and_ dirtying our floor,” He crossed his hands against his chest. “Get the fuck out, now,” he demanded and she shot him a glare before she tried to stand up and leave.

“That was kinda rude, you know,” Nathalie gave Levi a look.

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” Levi frowned.

“Over there!”

A voice came from the outside and the girl tensed up again. Nathalie knelt beside her and patted a hand on her shoulder “We’ll take care of that,” she said with a smile and the girl sighed in relief.

“No, we won’t,” Levi frowned.

Nat looked up at him shooting him a glare. “Yes, _we will_ ,”

He sighed heavily, once again regretting taking her in that day. Levi walked over the door with Furlan and they looked outside at the three men that came running.

“Oi! You didn’t happen to see a dirty little kid running this way, did you?” One of them asked. The men walked upstairs. “You guys are the thugs of this area?” But once they reached upstairs, they did notice the girl sitting by the floor. “I’ve found her!” the men laughed. “Are you guys friends, or something?”

“Nope,” Levi answered.

“Then hand her over to us. She tried to get past the 11th Stairway without paying. Anyone who tries to pass without paying is being prosecuted, and you guys will be charged too for being her accomplice,” The men explained but none of the three responded.

“Don’t you understand?! Hand her over right now!” One of the three approached them. He placed a hand on Nathalie’s shoulder and pushed her away. She had been standing in front of the girl protectively and her grip was tight around her dagger. But before she had the chance to harm the man, Levi’s knife sliced right through his finger, cutting it off.

The man took a few steps back, wincing and groaning from the pain and the blood that ran hot down his wrist. Levi’s knee found the man’s stomach, and then his boot found his face. He kicked him a couple of times in all areas, before he grabbed his shirt and pulled him up.

“You should think twice about touching her with your filthy hands. I might cut them off next time,” Levi growled before he gave him another last punch and the man fell down the stars before the other two grabbed him.

“You see, pals, we do prioritise hygiene in here,” Furlan said with a smirk. “Wash your hands and come again,”

“Let’s get the hell out of here! These guys are dangerous!”

Once the other guys were away, Nathalie let out a sigh of relief and watched Levi as he started rubbing the blade of his knife with that same cloth for before. _Here he goes again._ She chuckled as she pushed the dagger beneath her sleeve again and she knelt beside the girl giving her a smile.

“What is it you got there?” Nathalie pointed her chin at whatever the girl had been keeping close against her belly.

“You’re gonna suffocate it, you know,” Levi pointed out and Nathalie raised an eyebrow.

The girl gasped. “B- But I thought I’d keep it warm!” She pulled her hands away revealing a small bird nuzzling in her lap.

“What’s up with the bird?” Furlan asked.

“It got lost on its way here probably through some duct, so I thought I’ll bring it to the surface,” The girl said.

 _Oh, so that’s why…_ Nat placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder and she gave her a smile. “That’s very thoughtful of you,” The girl returned the smile.

“Don’t tell me you tried to go up the stairway just for that?” Furlan said dumbfounded.

“This little guy would want to fly to the sky than stay here underground,” The girl said.

“Well…” Furlan took it off her hands, carefully in his own, “…its wing looks injured,” Furlan looked up at Nat. “Let’s get it patched up,”

It didn’t take long when Nathalie and Furlan had finished with bandaging carefully the wings of the little one. It nuzzled right away in the girl’s lap. She looked at the other two who had been sitting across the couch. “I’m Isabel,”

“I’m Furlan,”

“I’m Nathalie, and that’s Levi, he’s the boss,” Nat said sarcastically.

“I’m not the boss!” Levi hissed. “We all play our parts here,”

“Right,” Nat ignored him. “He’s the boss,” She repeated and she was sure Levi was once again cursing her existence. She couldn’t understand why teasing him was so hilarious.

Isabel laughed as she looked at the three. “Furlan, Nathalie… and Levi-bro!”

Nathalie muffled a laugh and Levi turned and looked at the girl. “Bro?”

“Listen, please! Let me become one of you! You guys use 3D Maneuver Gear, right? I’ve seen it before. I was so jealous. Being able to fly like a bird… I wanna try it too!” Isabel said.

“What do you think?” Furlan said giving Nathalie a look.

Nathalie shrugged. “Sure. About time we brought a girl in the team. What about you, _boss_?” She asked sarcastically turning at Levi was sitting by a chair on the kitchen table.

He threw a glare at Nathalie who giggled by the annoyance pictured on his face, and he stood up turning at Isabel. “If you’re to stay here, you better learn how to clean first before learning how to use 3D Maneuver Gear,” He said before he walked out.

“Huh?!”

“That means yes,” Furlan said.

“Ah yes, forgot to mention that the boss is a clean-freak. You better be a clean-freak too if you wanna get on his good side,” Nathalie said sarcastically receiving another glare from Levi before he walked out of the house slamming the door shut.

Isabel and Furlan laughed and no long after, Isabel had settled in the new room that Nathalie led her to. She seemed like a nice, innocent girl and turned out she was the same age as Nat, twenty-four, and soon, she became everybody’s little sister. Nathalie and Isabel shared one room and the boys settled in another. Levi’s teachings on how to handle a 3D Maneuver Gear would get them nowhere. Isabel would always wind up hanging face down. Yet, it made sense. Nathalie too remember herself failing miserably the first time she had tried using it, though, Levi got the hang of it right away. He was always so talented with everything that he ever did.

“Why do you always tease him?”

Nathalie was taken aback by that question. It was night, of course, they wouldn’t have known when’s day and night, living there in the Underground District. But thankfully the clocks let them know when they were supposed to be sleeping. They were in the small house, and Nathalie was folding her clothes that she had spread on her bed, that until Isabel made that question.

“Uh…”

“I mean, isn’t it a little risky to tease Levi that much?” Isabel asked.

Nathalie laughed. “He’s dangerous, that’s true, but he’d never harm any of us,” She turned and looked at Isabel.

“That I know!” Isabel sat back down on her bed leaning back and propping herself on her hands. “I do have a feeling that deep, deep down he’s a big softie,”

“Well, your feeling’s correct,” Nathalie resumed her chore.

“And I also have a feeling you like him,” Isabel added and at that Nathalie’s fingers clenched around the cloth in her hands. She kept her back turned at her. Her cheeks flushed a bright red.

“What?! What gave you that idea?!”

“Oh c’mon, why would you always tease him and try to get his attention?”

“Teasing the hell out of someone doesn’t always mean you like them!”

“Relax, he doesn’t even make the effort to stop you,” Isabel said.

“Well, that’s ‘cause he’s gotten used to it. I’ve been annoying him two decades now,” Nathalie chuckled.

“Two decades?! Is he your brother or something?!”

“Something like that,” Nathalie turned around and crossed her hands against her chest. “Enough talk about me. How about Furlan?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Uhh…” Isabel tensed up right away “…what about him?!”

Nathalie leaned close and pointed a finger at her “You like him, don’t you?”

“Uh… n- no!” Isabel stuttered but the look on Nathalie’s face let her know that she wasn’t convincing her. “Maybe!”

“Aha!”

“Don’t tell him!”

Nathalie laughed “I won’t, relax,” She sat beside her on her bed and looked at the little bird that was nestling in Isabel’s hair.

“We’re going to free it tomorrow,” Isabel said with a smile.

“Thanks to you,” Nathalie said as she passed a hand around Isabel’s shoulders and gave her a side-hug.

Isabel chuckled as she rested her head on Nathalie’s shoulder. “And you guys. Thanks for taking me and this little guy in,”

“Hey, no problem, you’re part of the family now,”


	3. No Regrets Pt. 2

Nathalie always hated complicated missions like this one. Joining the Scout Regiment just for a job. She groaned. _Two jobs_ actually. Retrieve some document, and kill a squad leader, Erwin Smith. It wasn’t quite a piece of cake. Nathalie couldn’t help but wonder what kind of document it was that a rich guy would need from a Scout Officer. She could only guess that it was an approval of the Scout Regiment’s funds. She frowned. It wasn’t a job she was fond of. The Scouts were the only Regiment that fought the inevitable threat, the Titans. It was a Regiment that needed all funding it could get.

But it was a job. She only cared about her friends’ safety and finishing that job. The old man had promised them citizenship in the upper levels. They wouldn’t have to return to that misty dirty place ever again.

What those people called _training_ , it was nothing but a couple of hours of having fun with the ODM gear and slicing the throats of fake titans. Nathalie barely kept herself from yawning every five minutes. But at nights they’d climb at the rooftop and do nothing but stare at the vastness of the sky. Something that people above had taken for granted was so incredible for the four of them that they’d stay silent and just stare up.

Still, the days passed and the next Expedition was approaching. They had yet to find the document that they were supposed to retrieve. Erwin knew how to hide something well.

“We’ll never find it. It’s best to assume it isn’t in his room,” Levi said.

“It’s very likely he’s keeping it with him at all times,” Furlan assumed. “Nat and I have come up with a plan. We could use the Expedition to our advantage,”

“Exactly,” Nathalie started “Outside the walls, Erwin and everyone else will be too much focused on the Titans. We’ll just have to wait for an opportunity,”

“Great idea!” Isabel said. “What do you think, Levi-bro?”

“Sure,” Levi said before he stood straight and faced his friends. “But I’ll be going alone,”

“What?!”

“You three just come up with an excuse to stay back,” He added.

“There’s no way I’m letting you go out there on your own,” Nathalie gritted her teeth and approached him. Her fists clenched. “What if you don’t come back?! Who’s going to have your back out there?!”

“We’ve never even seen a real Titan. If I’m by myself I’ll have fewer people to worry about,” Levi said.

“How can you say that?! This is so unlike you! You won’t know until we’ve tried!” Isabel protested.

“You’re saying we can’t handle it?” Furlan asked, both him and Nathalie and Isabel were offended.

“Exactly. I’m not going to lead any of you to your deaths. If you do not wish to stay behind, then we’re done talking! We’ll wait for another opportunity,” Levi stormed off and Furlan growled. Isabel kicked the floor and Nathalie just crossed her hands against her chest as she watched him leave.

“No worries, I know just the thing,” Nathalie said and the other two looked at her surprised. “I’ll do the talking,”

He wouldn’t be anywhere else but the rooftop where the four of them spent almost every night. Levi just sat at the edge of the building and he stared up but paid no attention to the stars anyway. He wasn’t mad at them. He was mad at himself. He wasn’t afraid that they wouldn’t make it, he was afraid that he might be too weak to save them and bring them back safe and sound.

He didn’t care about putting his own life. He could die today or tomorrow and he wouldn’t give a damn about that, but he didn’t want to live the rest of his life knowing that he was the one who had led to death the three people who meant most to him. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t help but think of that. What was he going to do if any of that happened? How was he supposed to live with himself after that?

His life had started off by watching his mother’s corpse rotting away. And then it went on with a long lesson on how to kill people. But then he learned how to care for others when he took Nathalie in. He wasn’t alone ever since she was there with him, and then the others joined and widened the number of people that he cared about, and he couldn’t lose that. They were irreplaceable.

“Hey,” A familiar voice came from behind and he new exactly who it was. He didn’t have to turn around and see. She approached him and she sat beside him on the stone floor of the rooftop. Nathalie brought up a cup of steaming tea. The sweet aroma reached his nostrils right away and he couldn’t resist accepting the cup that she offered him.

“You think you can convince me otherwise just by offering me tea?” Levi asked before he took a sip. He always thought no one could beat him at making tea, but she was getting better and better at it.

“Is it working?” She asked playfully even though she knew he wouldn’t give an answer. And he didn’t, but for a moment she could have sworn that his lips _almost_ curled up into a smile. He wasn’t looking at her. Instead, his gaze was focused on the horizon that spread in front of them. “I know you’re scared-”

“I’m not-”

“Levi,” She cut him. He should just stop trying to hide from her because he really _couldn’t._ “I’ve known you twenty years now. I know when you’re in pain and when you’re not,”

“Then you know why you three must stay behind,” Levi said.

“Yeah, but it’s not about staying behind, is it?” Nathalie asked and that’s when he looked at her. “You’ve learned your whole life not to trust anything and anyone, and you still can’t trust to let us three to take responsibility for our lives. You don’t have to carry our lives on your back,” Nathalie said.

“I do,” Levi insisted.

“You don’t. You’ve taught us how to take care of ourselves. Let us put that to use for once,” Nathalie insisted as well though. He could in no way compete her stubbornness.

“She’s right you know,” Furlan’s voice came from behind.

“Let’s talk this through, bro!” Isabel said and the two of them sat alongside them on the edge of the roof.

“I can’t agree with you going alone. It’s dangerous to go out there alone, even for you,” Furlan added.

“You said that when we’d step outside it would be the four of us! Have you forgotten that already?!” Isabel protested.

“It’s still the same,” Levi avoided looking at them both. “When you can’t see the moon or the stars Underground, it’s still the same up here,”

Then the three of them looked up and clouds had indeed covered the sky. But there was still some wind, driving them away. “Maybe the colour is dark as it is Underground, but it’s nowhere near to what we’ve been seeing Underground,”

“Exactly! It’s different! There are no boundaries!” Isabel cried out.

“That’s right! The sky’s endless,” Furlan added with a smile.

Isabel gasped. “Look!” She pointed a finger up revealing a spot where the clouds had slipped away and the moon was shining brightly through. “The moon’s so bright,”

Nathalie smiled. She never thought she’d be so happy upon seeing the brightness of the moon. Maybe that was because it was the first time any of them were seeing it. “We’re never going back down there,” Nathalie said and the other two agreed right away. Only Levi was keeping silent with a troubled expression on his face.

“She’s right, bro, the four of us always pulled through, right?” Isabel asked, her eyes, wide, full of hope. “It’ll be the same with the Titans. Let’s do it together,”

“We can do this. Believe in us, Levi,” Furlan said.

And then Levi smiled. Nathalie had seen him before, but it always made her so happy to see him smile. It suited him. It really did. She wanted to tuck him into a hug but she knew he’d push her away. He wasn’t one to show _any_ kind of emotion.

“Alright, I’ll believe in you,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It wasn’t until a month later that they joined the Scouts into one of their expeditions. The soldiers rode on their horses and waited for the gates to open in the Southern Shiganshina District. Nathalie’s horse rode alongside her friends’. She couldn’t believe she had the chance to walk out of these walls. She couldn’t believe she had even managed to leave the Underground District. What was happening almost felt unreal.

Her fingers clenched around the reins of her horse as she urged it to start moving once the gates had fully opened. The clear wind washed across her body and the warmth of the sun found her face. The sunshine was almost blinding, but what spread beyond was truly incredible. Vast greenery spread as far as the eye could go. A land, clear and beautiful, but death still awaited in the depths of the horizon, where she most desired to go. So beautiful and so terrible all the same.

She had even noticed Levi staring at the clear, blue sky in wonder as their horses rode out in the open. “Not bad,” he whispered in awe, allowing himself just a small moment to stare at the sky. He immediately turned his attention to Furlan, Isabel, and Nathalie making sure they were close and safe.

He had to keep them safe. It was his idea to be there. It was him the one who accepted to join the Scouts even if it was only for the sake of a job. The lives of his friends were now falling on his own hands and he would be damned if he’d let any harm come to them. He could not allow himself to fail. He never did.

“It’s still terrible…” Furlan’s voice came from beside. “…I never meant to leave the walls,”

“Don’t worry. I’ll do something about the Titans,” Levi said.

“ _We’ll_ do something about the Titans,” Nathalie corrected him and Levi groaned. He was going to tell her to _back the fuck off_ because she would get herself killed, but he knew better than anyone how stubborn she was.

“These are Titans! I don’t care how strong you are, you can’t possibly-”

“Furlan, you’re trembling, ain’tcha?” Isabel snickered.

“Hey! Speak for yourself!”

“Stop the chatter!” Another soldier came riding on their horse from behind. “You think a few punks from the Underground have a chance against the Titans?! Have you got any idea how many elite soldiers have died?!”

“So, if we end up killing a Titan or two, doesn’t that make them elites lower than us punks?” Nathalie pointed out and the other soldier lost his words.

“Sounds about right!” Isabel added. 

“Wh- How dare you?! You little-” but he shut his mouth when Levi guided his horse between them, throwing him a glare that would make grown men run away crying.

Levi shook his head. “Tsk,”

Before the other soldier could say something, the Squad Leader cried out from behind. “Cut it out! Titan spotted!”

“Engage!” Came the Commander’s orders. It was a fifteen-foot tall coming out of the forest. “Switch to maneuvering! Do not let it walk out of the forest!”

 _Of course._ The trees could work as something to hook on to. It would help them move easier and kill it using the trees. Many soldiers headed its way, abandoning their horses and switching to maneuvering as the Commander had said. The beast was an abnormal one. Nathalie wasn’t an expert, but she had read all the books she could steal in the Underground. Three soldiers hooked on the Titan before it shook them all away and grabbed one, tossing him in his mouth.

“Quite a big guy, isn’t he?” Isabel commented.

Levi sighed. “Why use these half-assed tactics to fight them?”

“You little punk-” The Squad Leader growled.

“Nat, Isabel, Furlan! Let’s go!” Levi ordered and the three followed him right away, riding on their horses towards the beast that ate the others.

“Wait! You’re still rookies!” The Squad Leader shouted.

The team ignored him and Levi turned at the other three “I’ll cling to the Titan and draw his attention. Isabel, Furlan, you two break its knees and immobilise it. Nat, go for the neck,” Levi instructed.

“Got it!” It came in unison.

Levi was the first to go. He hooked on its back, stabbing it and drawing its attention right away. Furlan and Isabel hooked on its legs, cutting the knees off.

“Now, Nathalie!” Levi cried out and Nathalie shot the hook close to each nape before she drew herself up and cut it off with a swift move just as she had seen Levi do it two days ago on their training. The four landed back down on the grass as the carcass of the beast landed on the ground unconscious.

“Great job you two!” Isabel cheered with a wide smile on her face.

“You two did great too,” Levi added before they mounted their horses once more and awaited further orders.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“We’re staying in this dump?” Isabel asked looking around them.

Nathalie looked over the oldened walls of the ruins. The Commander had ordered that they camp there for the night. “They’re making good use of these ruins,” she said.

“It won’t be any good if a Titan was to attack,” Furlan said.

“Yeah, but Titans aren’t active in the night,” Isabel said.

“We’re still outside the walls,” Levi said. “Stay sharp,”

“Yes, _sir_ ,” Nathalie said with a fake salute and he shot a glare.

Furlan had a reason to believe Erwin had brought the documents with him. They went in search of them but came up emptyhanded once more. They settled back in that small corner they had for the four of them with their sleeping bags.

“So, you didn’t find anything. The only possibility left is that he’s keeping it on him at all times. In the end, we’ll really have to kill him,” Levi said and Nathalie groaned.

“Why’re you so impatient to kill him?”

“I don’t like him,” Levi frowned.

“You can say that, but he won’t go down easy,” The voice of a woman came from behind and they all flinched in their positions and looked up at the moment that approached. “I was watching you… at the **crucial moment** ,”

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “Crucial moment?”

“When you four defeated the Titan, of course!” She said as she leaned down and sat between Nat and Levi pushing them a bit further apart to make place for herself. “It was incredible! I boiled over with excitement in spite of myself!

“Uh…” Nathalie couldn’t really find the words to that.

“Thanks,” Levi said coldly even though Nathalie could still tell he was taken aback by that reaction.

“I’m Hange Zoe. You’re Levi, that’s Isabel, that’s Furlan, and you’re…”

“Nathalie,” She reminded her, and Hange gave her shoulder a rough punch that knocked her against the wall.

“Nice to meet you, Nat! I can call you ‘Nat’ if that’s okay?” Hange said.

“Uh… sure,”

“Only I get to call her that,” Levi frowned.

Nathalie cringed “Uhh-”

“Be nice,” Furlan said from beside him.

“It’s alright, it’s alright! I just wanna make a few questions,” Hange said. “You guys didn’t go through the training corps, right? So how did you get so good at vertical maneuvering?”

“We practiced. A lot,” It was the only answer that Levi gave.

“You’re self-taught?! Is there some secret trick to getting that good?”

“Well-” Nathalie tried to say but Levi cut her.

“No,”

“Wow, you say that so plainly,” Hange said “Even a small hint would be good though. Everyone would like to know,” And that’s when the four of them noticed the other soldiers staring at them questionably. “Everyone saw your fight. You’ve given them hope that humans don’t have to lose to the Titans if we fight correctly. It was really outstanding, that’s why I insist,”

“W- Well, Levi and Nathalie are really strong. Even in the Underground they were the best,” Isabel said.

“Oh right! Isabel, as a sign of our new friendship, would you like a treat?” Hange took out a small bag and handed it to Isabel. “How about it? Could I get you to tell me?”

“I’ll pass,” Levi said before Isabel had the chance to answer. “I do it my own way. It’s not something I can teach other people,”

The disappointment on Hange’s face showed up right away. Nathalie sighed and she stood up “Wait, Hange, I might be able to show you a thing or two,”

Nathalie could have sworn- Hange’s smile had almost reached her ears. She let out an exclamation of excitement and grabbed her hand dragging her away. Nathalie could almost hear Levi groaning, but soon Hange had taken her into some other room where they had stored their ODM gears.

“Since your friend over there wasn’t that much cooperative, I’d like to ask you, are you guys _really_ self-taught?” Hange asked as she closed the door behind her and crossed her hands against her chest.

“Well…” _Not really._ Levi had told her about the man who had raised him. She was the only one who knew. After spending all that time together, he had no reason not to trust her. At first, he was afraid that she’d resent him after knowing that the famous killer _Kenny the Ripper_ was actually the man who had taught him how to handle a knife and engage in combat. Still, Nathalie couldn’t trust Hange just yet. They would instantly think that they were criminals working for that madman. “…Levi is. He taught me and Furlan and Isabel, though,”

“He _taught?_ ‘Not exactly something he can teach’, huh?” Hange said.

Nathalie chuckled. “He did lie about that but that’s only because he doesn’t want to hold responsibility for other people’s lives,”

“Oh, I see. But that’s not a really good reason. If anything, some new trick might even _save_ our lives,” Hange pointed out as she headed over her own ODM gear and grabbed her swords.

“That’s too optimistic for Levi to think,” Nathalie said as she watched Hange getting in her stance.

Hange laughed. “Didn’t count that part! Okay, okay, so-”

“You’re holding it wrong,” Nathalie pointed out. She approached Hange “Depending on which side you attack, you’ll have to hold one of the two swords upside down. Say, if you’re attacking from the right side, the left hand should hold the sword differently, and so on if you’re attacking from the left. That way you have more strength and can cut a larger piece of the nape,”

“Oh my- This is amazing! Is that his technique?! How did you even get him to teach you?!”

Nathalie laughed. “Long story,”

“Thank you, Nathalie,” Hange said as she let go of the swords and extended a hand for a handshake.

Nathalie reached for her hand but she didn’t find it right away.

“Wait a minute…” Hange took a few steps back and held her hand up “…how many fingers am I holding up?”

Nathalie couldn’t really say why she was asking that. “Uh… three,”

“Two! You either can’t count, or can’t see,” Hange said.

“I can’t see?!” Nathalie cried out. She couldn’t believe she couldn’t _see,_ it felt normal seeing things blurrily. But then again, she wouldn’t blame it on her tired eyes that had read every old book she could scavenge in the Underground under the minimum light they had there.

“No worries!” Hange’s hand passed around her shoulders. “I got just the man for this. If we return back alive, we’re gonna get you glasses!”


	4. No Regrets Pt. 3

The Expedition continued smoothly the other day. Although the sky seemed clear, Nathalie had heard Erwin pointing out that it was going to rain soon. She was making sure her horse was riding alongside her friends, keeping an eye on Isabel and Furlan mostly.

But then she heard the Commander’s voice shouting “Titans sighted! Engage!”

 _Ah shit._ She looked ahead. They were three. There was a fifteen-foot tall and two ten-foot ones. A few soldiers launched, hooking their ODMs on the flesh of the Titans and drawing themselves close. The taller titan grabbed one of them and tossed them in its mouth.

“I take the tall one. Nat, you take the ten-foot one, Isabel, you act as bait whilst Furlan takes out the other ten-foot. Let’s go,” Levi said as he watched the three titans approaching the four of them.

“Aye!” It came in unison and the four of them headed their separate ways and did exactly as their leader had asked. The Squad Leader’s voice came from behind as he shouted.

“Are you guys trying to get eaten?!”

The four of them ignored him. Nathalie shot a hook over the ten-foot titan on her right whilst Isabel and Furlan headed for the other ten-foot titan on the left. Levi rushed on the larger one that stood in the middle. Nathalie pulled herself up coming close to its face. She unhooked and hooked herself back on its nape before she swiftly cut a large piece from the back of its neck. The blood sprayed on her face but started vaporising right away. She landed back on her horse that was waiting for her beneath only to meet the other three who came riding on their horses.

“Woo hoo! Did you see that?! Furlan and I just took out a titan on our own!” Isabel said excitedly.

Levi looked scared to death. Isabel had almost gotten eaten. “Y- You guys did great,” He stuttered.

“You okay?” Nathalie asked raising an eyebrow, though she did have half a smile on her lips. It wasn’t a frequent occasion to see Levi being scared.

“Never been better,” Levi shot her a glare before he guided his horse towards the squad and the other three followed him from behind.

Just Erwin had mentioned before, it started raining no long after. The more time it passed, the thicker the rain got. Soon it was storming and a thick fog had started to cover their surroundings. They were heading back to Wall Maria. The Expedition was coming to its end and it was time they returned behind the walls.

Nathalie was more than relieved from the fact that they had made it out alive until now. But the fog was making it hard to be aware of their surroundings. Nathalie just nuzzled back in the hood of her green cloak as they rode through storm and the four of them made sure they’d stay close.

“We can use the rain and the fog to get close to Erwin,” Levi said.

“No, wait! We can’t see anything, Levi, we can’t risk splitting. It’s dangerous, we’re still outside the walls,” Nathalie tried to reason.

“And that’s why I’ll go alone. You stay with Furlan and Isabel, make sure they’re safe,” Levi said.

“Wait, Levi! Let’s wait till the rain stops!”

“Bro! Maybe Nathalie’s right!”

Nathalie knew that no matter how much they tried, they weren’t going to change his mind, so her fingers tightened around the reins of her horse and she led it towards him. She was intending to block his way but she never got there in time. Levi was gone with no further argument. _‘…make sure they’re safe’_ Nathalie sighed heavily as she guided her horse back with the other two. They both seemed worried and they undoubtedly spouted a couple of curses beneath their breaths.

“It’s alright. Levi is… Levi. He can handle anything,” Nathalie tried to reassure them both even though she still felt that pit in her stomach. The fear crept back to her. What if something happened to him? What if something happened and she wouldn’t be able to have his back just like she did all those years.

“Furlan!”

Isabel’s scream knocked Nathalie out of her thoughts. She turned at Furlan’s direction only to see him missing. His horse was riding alone and her eyes widened immediately. Furlan shouted as a titan grabbed him and vanished behind the fog. Isabel had already jumped up with her ODM gear, hooking herself on the titan that grabbed Furlan.

Nathalie acted fast. She hooked herself behind its back and whilst it was focused on eating Furlan and dodging Isabel, she sliced off its neck. It let go of Furlan who landed unceremoniously on the muddy ground.

“Nathalie!”

It was Isabel. Another titan had grabbed her, keeping her upside down, leaving her hanging, ready to toss her into its mouth. “Let her go!” Nathalie cried out as she shot a hook on its hand, urging it to let go of Isabel. Isabel hooked herself on its other hand but with a swift move it had her tossed away only to land in another titan’s mouth.

Nathalie could do nothing but watch as the titan’s teeth split Isabel’s head from her body. She screamed as she watched her friend being devoured. _No._ This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be happening. She had to snap out of it and act fast. She couldn’t let Furlan die too. She hooked on the back of its nape and cut it off before she shot the hook on the titan that had grabbed Furlan. He was tossed into its mouth and before it had the chance to crush him between its teeth, Nathalie landed on its tongue and pushed him away. Furlan fell off the titan, shouting her name.

Nathalie had to drop the swords and grasp its upper teeth with her hands, trying to keep its mouth from crushing her. It growled. Her hands started bleeding. The hot blood ran down her wrists and coloured shirt. She wasn’t sure how long she could keep up with this. But her hands gave in as it pushed further, closing its mouth and making her crush with her back on its tongue and her head on the bottom teeth. She tried her best, but the upper teeth were already staring to dig into her belly. She was powerless against it. Nathalie groaned as she gave another last effort into keeping it from crushing her, but it was in vain.

She gave in. Its teeth dug harshly into her stomach and it almost felt like it was splitting her in two. Nathalie screamed in pain, struggling against it, but there was no use. She could feel the flesh of her belly being ripped apart, and her blood slipped out, soaking her clothes.

She was going to die there. She knew it. She was going to die knowing that she had failed to protect her friends. She had failed to do what Levi had asked of her. She had lost two friends, and it was her fault they were dead. She only prayed Furlan was okay, and if he wasn’t, she only prayed Levi would make it out of there alive. Levi had to live. He had to live for all three of them. She was never going to see him again, and it brought tears to her eyes knowing that. She was never going to see Isabel nor Furlan.

Nathalie sobbed there, whilst being crushed between the jaws of the titan. It was only yesterday when the four of them had set their sleeping bags alongside each other. They were gone now, and it hurt so much. She had failed. _She had failed._ She was going to die knowing that. She wasn’t mourning for herself. She didn’t give a _damn_ about her life. Nathalie only used the last seconds of her life mourning the deaths of her friends.

“Nathalie!”

A strong, furious cry came and suddenly the pressure of the titan’s jaws around her ceased. She felt relief but the pain did not subside. Somebody grabbed her and took her out of its mouth. She was too much focused on the pain to see who it was. But once they landed on the grass, amongst a pile of titan corpses, she was able to make up the voice and the face of the man.

He had settled her on his lap, kneeling down. His fingers clenched around her as he looked down at her. “Levi…” she managed weakly.

He was covered in blood. The blood of the titans that he had just slain one by one. How could she look up at him knowing that she had let their friends die? The tears slipped down her cheeks without permission.

“Nat… Nat!”

He shook her whole body and for once in his life, he was actually scared. He was terrified. He was shocked. He was in pain. In _real_ pain. He had just seen Isabel’s head. Her body, missing. And Furlan, half his body chopped. He had lost it all in such a little time. And now, Nathalie’s wound kept bleeding no matter how much he pressed on it. _No._ He couldn’t lose her too. He wasn’t sure if he could handle losing the others, but he _knew_ he _couldn’t_ handle losing _her._

“Look at me, dammit! You need to stay awake!” Levi growled as he settled her face on his forearm and his other hand pressed on her wound. “You have to…”

He couldn’t lose her. Isabel’s and Furlan’s deaths were heavy enough on his shoulders already. Why did everybody had to always die? Why did he have to lose his mother? Then be cast aside, and then, once he’s got _everything,_ lose it all again. As if everything that he held dear had absolutely no meaning. He found himself burying his face in her neck. A sob escaped his throat and he couldn’t believe how ridiculous he might have looked, but his hands clenched around her and brought her close, shielding her numb body from the rain with his own.

Nathalie had always been there. For as long as he could remember himself, she had always been with him. She knew him better than anyone, and she always knew how to set him on the right path. No matter whoever and whatever else he had lost in his life, Nathalie was the only one who was _always there_. What was he going to do without her? What was he going to do without Furlan? Without Isabel? Without Nathalie?

“…not you too…” 

═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

A stinging pain radiated harshly from the bottom of her stomach and travelled towards her entire body. She winced and her hand reached for her wound, only to find it patched up and tightly tied with bandages. The idea struck her mind. _No way._ She couldn’t have possibly survived this. Levi had saved her, hadn’t he? It was the last thing remembered before she passed out.

Nathalie opened her eyes, allowing the light enter her through eyelids. It took a moment for her sensitive eyes to adjust to the ruthless sunshine that entered through the window of the room. It was a small, normal room and the privacy let her know that they weren’t even close to the barracks of the Scout Regiment.

“It’s gonna leave an ugly scar, but you’re gonna be alright,”

She looked at the right side of her bed where she spotted him. He was sitting on a chair. Legs crossed, and a book in his hands. By the looks of it, Levi had almost finished it. _How long has he been standing there?_

“How long was I out?” Nathalie asked preparing herself for an impossible number of nights.

“Four nights,” Levi answered. He wasn’t taking his attention off the book. He had that frozen look on his face that never allowed anyone to see what he felt.

“Oh,”

She sighed heavily as she turned her attention back on the ceiling, and then it struck her. The scene of Isabel being devoured. Half of Furlan’s body lying cold, lifeless on the ground. A tear slipped down her cheek and her hand reached her mouth right away silencing herself down. She knew there was no point. Even with his back turned at her and his attention wholly on the contents of the book, he could always tell when she was crying whenever she did.

Levi sighed as he closed the book in his hands and he turned and looked at her. Tears were already soaking her pillow. She let out muffled sob. She was so useless. So powerless. She let them both get killed. She shouldn’t have survived this. She deserved the same fate. _How could I…_ she had let them die. She had failed to do that one thing that Levi had asked of her. _Keep them safe._

“Oi,” He drew her attention and Nathalie pulled her hand away from her face and looked at him. “It wasn’t your fault. It was mine… for trusting you to keep them safe,”

 _No._ “Don’t go this way…” She choked out.

His words felt like a dagger stabbing through her heart and tearing it to pieces. She gritted her teeth and her hands clenched into fists around the bedsheets. The look on his face, one of mistrust and resentment. But she didn’t blame him one bit. She knew why she was crying. It wasn’t because of how harshly his words were meant to sting. It was because he was right. It _was_ her fault. She couldn’t fight so many titans on her own, and she shouldn’t even have attempted to talk him through letting them come with him in the Expedition, back then on that rooftop. 

Levi stood up with the book in his hands and began to walk out the door, but she stopped him. “What now?” What were they going to do? Did he even still want her to be part of his _team?_ Did he still want her to be his _friend?_ He probably didn’t. And she wouldn’t blame him for that.

He stopped, but did not turn to look at her. “I’ll join the Scouts or else I’ll have to go back Underground. I have no choice-”

“Then I don’t have a choice either-”

“No!” Levi snapped harshly. He turned and faced her. His eyes, wide, and she couldn’t tell whether he was trying to scare her not to join the Scouts, or whether he was scared about her joining. “I’ll make sure you won’t have to go back Underground, but you _will not_ join the Scouts. I will _not_ allow to put your life at risk _ever again_ ,”

“Levi, please, I have nothing left. Nothing but you… and it’s been like that for so long. You’ll be risking your life in the Scouts _every day._ I don’t want to be the reason that one day you may not make it back-”

“Are you a fucking idiot?! Don’t you fucking see that’s exactly why you must _not_ join the Scouts?!” Levi spat. He approached her and sat beside her on her bed. “It’s exactly like as you said it. I don’t have _anyone_ left but _you_. You almost died back there,” Both his hands found her face and cupped her cheeks, making sure he had her full attention. His eyes caught her own and she knew, he was scared. He was _terrified_ of losing her just like he had lost Furlan, and Isabel, and his mother. “Do you think I’d ever allow that to happen?!”

She never knew she meant so much to him. Her hand found his own that was still on her face. “And that’s why I can’t let you go alone,”

He groaned and he pulled one hand away to rub his aching forehead. “That’s exactly what Furlan said a few nights ago, and now-”

“Their deaths were none of our faults, don’t you see? The titans killed our friends. I never meant for them to die, so please, don’t resent me. Let me stand by you like I always did. You know you can’t handle being alone,”

Levi parted his lips to throw something back, but like all these times, he knew that whatever he’d say to repel her, it wasn’t going to work. He should have learned from the first time he had met her. He had tried to get rid of her, or even change her mind about something, and it never really worked. And maybe that was why she had been standing beside him all these years. He did not regret taking her in that day. He never regretted any of the things that they had shared.

 _‘…you can’t handle being alone’ oh_ how well did she know him? He had let her learn how to read him and figure out what he felt no matter the situation, and no matter how hard he tried to wipe all emotions off his face and voice and behaviour. He did not regret that either, no matter how troublesome it got some times, and how he always knew he was exposed to her.

He leaned in and pressed a soft, silent kiss on her forehead. His arms slipped around her and pulled her into a hug, being as careful as possible. The last thing he wanted was to inflict pain on her. He rested his cheek on top of her head and she buried her face in his neck sighing in relief and shutting her eyes. Her own arms weakly found their way around his shoulders.

It wasn’t always that he’d hug her like this. Again, Levi was never one to show any emotion, but he knew she could always tell what he was feeling. There was no reason to hide from her. It was in vain anyway. And no matter how much he tried to be careful not to hurt her in her current state, his fingers still clenched on her shirt as if she was going to leave. Nathalie smiled and when her fingers found his hair, his stiff shoulders relaxed just a little and he sighed in her hair.

“I do not resent you, Nat. You just mean a lot to me,”

She couldn’t even begin to think of how much of his ego it took to say that. Or even the so many different meanings that those words might have had. She was too tired to think of what he might have meant but at the same time, she had a feeling she already knew what he meant. Or at least, she hoped he meant _that_.

“You mean a lot to me too,” Nathalie confessed and buried her face further into his neck, sighing. “That’s why I need to stay with you. I need you to let me,” She pulled back to look at him. The tip of her nose gently brushed against his own. His breath brushed warm against her lips. She could tell he was finally convinced, but he was still thinking and reaching a decision in his own head.

“Alright,” He said and she let out a breath of relief. “But you do not leave my side. Not once. Even if ordered to,” He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. If she was to stay close, he could protect her. He could protect her with his life and he wasn’t going to let anything threaten her own. It was the only way that would help him sleep in the nights. His hand found her face and cupped her cheek. “Understand?”

Nathalie nodded and gave him a smile. “I do,” And she could have sworn, his lips almost curled up a little. 


	5. Ilse's Notebook Pt. 1

Her whole body ached. Her muscles, completely worn out once more. The swords in both her hands almost felt too heavy. Heavier than they were supposed to. Her sweat soaked her clothes, forcing them to cling onto her body and she groaned when Levi repeated once more that _damned_ word that she had gotten so tired of hearing.

“Again,”

_Fuck off._

“Don’t I get like… a five-minute break or something?”

“Titans won’t give you any five minute-breaks,” Levi frowned.

His hands, crossed against his chest and that dead expression on his face was always there as he watched her repeat the moves that he had been teaching her every single day ever since she stopped being bed-ridden. She had agreed to this since there was no other way she could convince him to let her join the Scouts, _for real,_ this time. 

“How about… two-minutes?”

Levi groaned. No matter how much he pushed on her limits, that sarcasm was _always_ there to get on his nerves. He knew he should have gotten used to it by now. “Don’t waste my fucking time, Nat. Again,” he persisted and she groaned before she got back in her stance and repeated the moves that he had shown her once more.

She hooked her ODM on the fake titan, before she slit off the wooden nape once more. She landed back down on her feet, holding the swords exactly as Levi had shown her, in a perfect stance. She turned around and searched for approval on his face. Levi nodded and she knew it was her cue to finally catch her breath.

Her fingers let go of the swords and she dropped on her bum. The cold grass and the cool breeze that brushed her sweaty form let her know that she’d have a cold to deal with afterwards, but she barely cared at the moment. She fell back, lying down and staring at the sky. The pink, orange colours of the dusk merged into a beautiful purple. She drew in a couple of deep breaths, filling her nostrils with the scent of the grass, the trees and the soil beneath her.

 _Finally._ Another long day of Levi’s ruthless training had passed. Just before she was about to let out a loud sigh of relief on the thought of Levi no longer being there, she noticed him approaching her and staring down at her.

He sighed. “What are you doing?”

“Taking a break,”

“Get the fuck up,”

“What?! No! I need to-”

“Nat,” And then he gave her _that_ dead look. The one he’d give her when they were little and she caused trouble. He never really scolded her, he’d just throw her _that_ look and she’d instantly know that she would either _have_ to comply to what he said -because it was for her own good- or force him to _murder_ her by not complying.

Nathalie groaned as she stood on sitting position. She was about to press her weight on her feet to help herself up, but she stopped when he took off his jacket and settled it on her shoulders, shielding her back from the cold breeze. Now _that_ was surprising. Nathalie found herself staring at his unbearably indifferent face searching for the slightest clue of emotion. She failed to find it yet again.

“Oi! What are you staring at? Do you think I got the time for your whining if you catch a cold?!” Levi said grumpily, but she could always tell when he was forcing the grumpiness and when he wasn’t.

“Right,” She agreed, even though he could tell that she had other things in mind, and she was only agreeing to get him off her back.

He turned around and started walking away. “Get the fuck up and let’s go inside,”

═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It wasn’t until a few years later, that Levi and Hange were given their own squads to lead, and Erwin was now a Commander. Commander Erwin had proposed that Nathalie led her own squad as well, since she was one of the oldest that were left. People in the Scouts kept dying, and whoever joined five years ago, was considered a veteran. Nathalie never knew she would be able to survive all these years in the Scouts in the first place.

She had never imagined herself handling the burden of other people’s lives on her shoulders. She had kindly declined that proposition, and she remained in Levi’s Special Operations Squad. Levi never played any part on her decision, but she could always tell, he didn’t want her to carry the same burden that he carried for his own squad. And maybe, he was correct.

The Special Operations Squad had nothing but the best of the _best._ Eid, Oluo, Petra and Gunther were all exceptional soldiers handpicked by Levi and Nathalie. They both made sure they taught them all of Levi’s techniques. Levi did not want _anybody_ of his squad to die and he had made sure they wouldn’t by teaching them how to fight like him. Everything was going smoothly _for now._

Nathalie remained second in command, but she never doubted that Levi could make it. It had been countless of times that Levi had saved her life, and countless more that she had saved his own or her friends’. His training certainly paid off and Hange was the first to _beg_ her to show her those new moves.

Hange and Nathalie had grown quite close. Nathalie could have never guessed that she and Hange shared that same curiosity to discover the mysteries of the world through science. Hange had been obsessed with studying the titans and Nathalie wouldn’t blame her. She too would give anything for the chance to tie one down and slice it in half to see how it works.

“Thirty seconds until the opening of the gates!” The Commander reminded them and for once again, Nathalie couldn’t handle the excitement that the idea of capturing a titan brought.

“Just open those gates already!” Hange whined. She wasn’t making any effort into hiding her own impatience.

“Thirty seconds be feeling like a century,” Nathalie groaned.

“Right?! Hey! Levi-!”

“No,” Levi cut Hange right away.

“But I haven’t said anything yet!” Hange protested.

“You want me to help you two capture a titan,” Levi stated indifferently. “It’s a terrible waste of effort. I’m not interested,”

“Oh c’mon! We can’t beat those things if we don’t know how they function!” Nathalie whined.

“I don’t really give a fuck, Nat,” Levi said.

Hange groaned as she turned at Mike “What about you, Mike? Wanna give it a try? Pretty please!”

Mike just sighed and shook his head negatively. Nathalie groaned. “Just you and me then,” She checked her gear once more and Hange turned and looked at her shrugging.

“The same old boring answer from the same old boring men,”

And then the gates opened and Nathalie’s fingers tightened around the reins of her horse. “The 49th Expedition beyond the walls begins now!”

And that’s when they all rode out at full speed on their horses. Hange left her squad back and she lunged forward with Nathalie riding beside her

“My lovely titans! I’m coming!” Hange cried out excitedly.

“A five-foot one! Please, gimme a five-foot one!” Nathalie begged.

“Hange, Nathalie!"

═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

They had camped around the ruins of a small town where they’d spend the night. Hange had said she’d talk to Erwin about capturing a titan, but the way she stormed out of the tent chasing after Erwin let Nathalie know that the request was absolutely rejected.

Nathalie cringed as she stood beside Hange and watched Erwin walking away. “I don’t suppose that went well,” she said and Hange groaned irritatingly.

“It’s no use, guys,” Oluo’s voice came from behind and Nathalie raised an eyebrow.

“Does that mean you’re too scared to help us capture one?” Nathalie asked. It was always so amusing to strike Oluo’s ego.

“It’s not that. We already put our lives on the line just trying to kill those damn things, there’s no way we can take one alive,” Oluo said, with that stupidly chill smile on his face that made Nathalie want to beat his ass.

But before she even got the chance to do anything, Hange grabbed him by his shirt with both hands, lifting him slightly up as if he weighed no more than a feather. Moblit, Hange’s second in command, cringed and tried to think of something to do to calm his Section Commander down.

“Listen up, Oluo, let’s say that Levi’s coming and he’s dead set on killing you. What would you do? Can you fight him and survive?” Hange asked.

“H- Hey, I can’t breathe-” _poor_ Oluo tried to say but Hange cut him.

“No, you can’t, so what are you gonna do? You’re gonna do your homework. The place he lives, the food he hates, his taste in women, you find out _everything_ about him. Once you know him, you find a weakness that you can exploit. If you don’t do that before you fight, you’re gonna die for sure…”

Oluo was about to die from suffocation. Nathalie punched Hange’s hands off her subordinate before she helped him stand and draw in all the breaths that he could to replace the missing oxygen in his lungs.

“I too am very pissed that the Commander did not accept our request, but it’s not Oluo’s fault he was born a wimp,” Nathalie said and Oluo turned and shot her a glare.

“Who did you call a-”

“Section Commander! Can’t you at least try to be a little bit sensitive!” Moblit scolded Hange once more.

Hange groaned. “If _you_ had accepted to be a Squad Leader, we would have had more help in this!” She turned pointing a finger accusingly at Nathalie.

“Hey, Levi needed help with those kids,” Nathalie said to her defence before Hange stormed off with Moblit following from behind.

“ _‘Kids’_?! I’m a year older than you!” Oluo protested.

Nathalie’s lips curled up into another mischievous smile. She was about to once again strike against his ego. “I’ve been routing human-trafficking in the Underground when you were playing with your sister’s dolls,”

“I- I wasn’t- Why am _I_ even getting a lecture?! She’s the one who tried to kill me!” Oluo cried out.

“Hey! Show the Section Commander Hange some respect!” Moblit cried out and Oluo parted his lips to throw something back but Nathalie fell in the middle cutting both.

“We’re all a little bit tense here, maybe we should try to-”

“Titans sighted!”

“…calm down,” Nathalie groaned when she realised that was no longer an option. Hange was already on her horse and Moblit was trying to stop her.

“Section Commander! Wait!”

“Nathalie! Let’s go!” Hange didn’t even wait a moment further when she started riding her horse out of camp and towards the direction of the titan.

“Hange! Wait!” Erwin cried out, but Hange, of course, ignored him. Erwin groaned as he turned at Nathalie. She too was on her horse before she urged it to start riding away following behind Hange. “Nathalie!” Erwin turned at Levi who was standing beside his horse awaiting orders. “Go!” Erwin ordered and Levi just shook his head, mounting his horse and riding away.

“Tsk. Those morons,”

The cool wind brushed against her face as her horse finally approached Hange’s. Hange had a wide smile on her face when the two of them entered the forest. “It’s not getting away from me this time,” Hange said determinedly.

Nathalie could already feel the excitement of what she was going to do to it once they’d tie it down. She was going to slice off its hands and see _why in the world_ they were so light weighted with all that strength. “Please be a big one, please be a big one…!” 

Hange gasped. “It is! Isn’t it beautiful!” She cried out when they finally spotted it standing up ahead. It must have been a five-foot one. “Nice weather, isn’t it!?” Hange asked it before they surpassed it on their horses and the beast started following them.

“How about you come with us inside the Wall when we’re done with our walk, huh?” Nathalie suggested looking behind at the titan that gained momentum on them. She immediately urged her horse to move out of the way as the titan’s hand tried to grab her and both Hange and Nathalie started laughing.

“That was close!” Hange said.

But then the titan banged itself on a tree. “Aw man,” Nathalie cringed. _That must’ve hurt._

“Are you okay?!” Hange cried out, but she got her answer when it continued chasing them.

“Good boy,” Nathalie chuckled.

They both turned her attention ahead and focused on exiting the forest and evading its attempts to grab them. Once they were out of the forest, Levi drew its attention with a red smoke signal. He still had that indifferent expression on his face, but she could very much tell she should expect a _massive_ scolding afterwards. The rest of the Special Operations Squad was following Levi with Moblit from Hange’s Squad.

“Guys!” Nathalie drew her teammates’ attention. “Isn’t it cute?” She pointed at the titan.

“Are you fucking insane?!” Oluo cried out.

“Nathalie! I don’t think that what you’re doing is a good idea!” Petra cried out.

“You and I are gonna have a talk after this,” Levi promised her and Nathalie barely managed to fight the urge to cringe.

“Be my guest, _Captain!”_ Even through all this commotion, she still heard him letting out that annoyed.

“Tsk,”

“Stay out of our way, Levi!” Hange cried out.

“Section Commander, this is terribly immature!” Moblit scolded at her and Hange threw him a glare.

“Shut up, Moblit!” Hange turned her attention on the titan that followed them “Yes! This way!”

But then the titan stopped chasing them. It turned around and started running away. “Wait, what?!” What was it up to? Nathalie urged her horse to follow it and Hange followed.

“Wait up!” Hange cried out.

“Where is it taking us?” Nathalie asked.

“Look like some specific place,” Hange said.

 _Is that even possible?!_ Nathalie wondered, but she just focused on following the titan as it led them in the midst of the forest. It stopped running as it stared at the bark of a large tree. It was the largest tree trunk that Nathalie had ever seen. Yet again, she hadn’t seen many trees, growing up in the Underground District. But then, it started banging its head against the tree.

“What the-” Nathalie cut herself as she unmounted her horse. Her fingers still lingered on her handles, even though she had no intention of killing it and neither did Hange.

“What’s wrong?” Hange asked it as the two of them approached it before it attacked. Its fist would have almost crushed Hange, but since Hange hooked herself to settle on a branch of another tree, it turned at Nathalie. His teeth almost got her, but she jumped out of the way, chuckling.

Nathalie parted her lips to say something, but she stopped when she realised it was trying to say something. It clenched its jaws as if it was trying to speak, and it moved its hands around trying to tell them something. Nathalie and Hange approached it curiously. It had some kind of tension on its face. Was it actually intelligent?

“What is?” Hange asked.

“It’s alright. We’ll hear you out,” Nathalie said reassuringly.

If it really was intelligent, then it was scared and thus it had tried to run away. Why else would it run? Other titans would just head on try to eat humans, but this one ran. Something was off. The titan still tried to speak, but nothing came out and before it was able to say something, Oluo hooked himself on the back of its nape and headed straight for the kill.

“Oluo, don’t!” Hange cried out and Oluo stopped halfway his attack.

The titan grabbed him and just before he was about to be tossed into the titan’s mouth, Levi cut off its hand with a swift move. Levi hooked himself on the back of its nape, before he sliced it off and the dead body of the titan crushed back down.

Levi turned and looked at Oluo, making sure his shoulder was alright. “Are you okay?”

Oluo was crying from the fact that he was just saved from the jaws of a titan just in time. He sniffled. “Captain… I SHALL FOLLOW YOUR ORDERS FOREVER!”

“You’re tryna get yourself and our squad killed?!” Levi growled as he threw Nathalie a glare that would make anyone else want to run away for their lives.

It wasn’t the first time for her. “That child was about to become a precious specimen!” Nathalie cried out pointing at the carcass. She didn’t give a damn about how much angry he might’ve been at her. He had just killed an _intelligent_ titan. The first recorded in _history._

“It tried to eat me!” Oluo protested.

“Because _you_ attacked it!” Nathalie’s breath was knocked out of her chest when she was knocked against the bark of a tree with Levi’s hands clutching on both sides of her shirt.

“I don’t care what the fuck it is that you want, but you will _not_ endanger the lives of my men, neither your own, is that fucking clear?!” Levi growled angrily. His eyes stared right through her own and for a moment, Nathalie wasn’t sure whether she should be afraid or not.

“I was not intending for any losses. I don’t want a repeat of five years ago,” Nathalie said.

“Doesn’t look like it-” Levi tried to say. His nose brushed against her own as his fingers slightly clenched around her shirt. She knew there was no way she could escape that trap between his body and the tree trunk.

“We can’t fight an enemy we know nothing about!”

“We can, by killing it!”

“We’ve been trying that a hundred years now and it’s not working!”

“Maybe that’s ‘cause there’s stupid jackasses like you!”

Nathalie gasped, offended “What did you-?!”

“Hey!” Hange cut them both. “Are you two done playing couple? There’s a skeleton in that tree,” she informed

_There’s a… what?!_


	6. Ilse's Notebook Pt. 2

_It talked…_ If the sayings of the notebook that they had found nearby the corpse were correct, then the titan… _it talked._ And it was intelligent. Then the titan that Levi had taken out in that forest, it had led them there to the corpse of a fallen comrade whose notebook said it all.

Nathalie and Hange had sat down to study it in Hange’s office. It was late at night, but they had just returned from the Expedition and they didn’t want to waste a moment further. They read it, again and again, trying to dig deep into the meaning of everything that their fellow comrade, Ilse Agnar, had written down. He was the survivor of a squad and he had been wandering alone in the outside for days with no hope for survival. But he had made sure he’d write down everything that he’d experience.

And he had experienced having that titan cornering him and talking to him. “‘Subjects of Ymir’ What does it mean by that?” Nathalie’s fingers reached for her glasses, taking them off and clearing once more the lenses with her handkerchief.

“I don’t know. But I’ll be damned if I don’t find out,” Hange said determinedly. She grabbed a pen and a paper. “I need to send Erwin a letter. We know absolutely nothing about the titans. This cannot continue,” Her fingers fisted around the pen.

“I agree. Thousands of people have died already. If we keep this up, the losses will be thousands more. What about the family of this poor man?” Nathalie pointed out and Hange nodded. Nathalie stood up. It was time she returned to the Special Operation’s Squad Headquarters. She was in no mood for another scolding from Levi, and maybe a shower too was in order. “I could get that Notebook to that man’s family if you want. I know it’s hard to face the relatives of the fallen,” Nathalie suggested.

Hange stopped writing for a moment and she looked up at her with a smile. “It’s alright. I’ll get it to them myself in the morning. Besides, I’m third in command. When the reins of the Scouts fall into my hands, then I’ll be doing this quite often,”

Nathalie nodded. She placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a smile. “Goodnight, Section Commander Hange,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

She arrived late at night back in Headquarters. She could tell everything was silent and everyone was sleeping. She did prefer it that way. She did prefer silence and peace over anything. She headed straight for that shower, and a few minutes later she was downstairs in the kitchen, intending to brew some water and make some tea. It was Levi’s fault she had grown fond of tea in the first place. She could never tell what he did when he made tea, but she could never achieve such taste.

Nathalie never got to brew some water when she realised a cup of steaming tea was waiting for her on the kitchen counter. _Of course,_ he had saved a cup for her. It was still warm. She chuckled and she brought it up to her lips. She drew in the sweet aroma of jasmine, before she took a sip. She probably had to go back to sleep, but there was no way she could sleep without finding answers in all these questions that formed in her mind.

The titans were human-like creatures with a slightly different biology but all the rest were the same. What if that titan was a human once? What if something turned it into a titan? It had that troubled, tormented expression on its face that she couldn’t wipe out of her mind. Nathalie groaned as she headed for the library with the mug in her hands. That building was provided to them by the government to serve as their headquarters, and it came with a large library that she had been exploring for the past five years.

Once she entered the large room filled with bookcases and tables, her gaze spotted Levi sitting on a table with a book in his hands. The book had leather black wrapping and she could tell exactly what book it was. It was one of the books that she had read and admittedly, she was just about finishing reading the entire library. She tucked her glasses further up her nose and she approached the bookcase that stood behind him.

“Honestly, I never had you for the nerd type,” Nathalie admitted as she brought her lantern up at the titles of the books.

Something about the name ‘Ymir’ sounded to be related to history. _No._ Specifically, ‘Subjects of Ymir’ sounded more like something related to the past. Maybe some historical person was named ‘Ymir’. If she was to find any answers, she’d find them in a history book.

“I read the notebook on our way back,” Levi said and at that she stopped searching for a moment and she turned and looked at him. Levi was the one who had found it and held on to it till they reached the Wall.

She hummed and resumed searching. “So, you know,” She groaned. All history books in that library were useless. The name ‘Ymir’ was nowhere to be found and she knew it. She had read them before.

“You won’t find anything,” Levi stated the obvious and Nathalie sat on a chair beside him, placing the mug and the lantern on the table.

Levi shut closed the useless book that he had picked and he crossed his legs. His hand reached for his own mug and took a sip from his tea. Nathalie’s hand reached for another book that she had left on the table. It was focused on biology and inheritance. She had started studying that book before they left for the Expedition. It almost felt like it was time to resume it even though her doctor had advised her _not to_ read in the night. It only worsened her vision, but it was bad anyway. If it weren’t for those glasses that Hange had helped her get, she wouldn’t be able to see anything.

Even though she tried to focus on the interesting contents of the book, Nathalie could still feel him staring at her. Maybe he was waiting for her to apologise for earlier. They hadn’t talked about the fight that they have had back in that forest. She sighed as she rested back on her chair and she turned and looked at him.

“I’m sorry about earlier today. I didn’t mean to put any of our friends’ lives on the line-”

“Nat,” Levi cut her. His eyes met her own, piercing, even behind all that indifference that he forced upon his face, and even through the darkness of the room. And then he said that _one_ thing that she wasn’t expecting him to say. “You and Hange were right…” her eyes widened. _What?!_ “…we can’t face an enemy we know nothing about. You always have been, and you always set me on the right path. I’m sorry I doubted you,”

She wasn’t expecting him to apologise, but yet again, she always knew Levi would never cease to surprise her. Nathalie gave him a smile and she took a sip from the tea that he had made for her. “It’s alright. I too may have acted just a little bit more reckless than usual,”

“You acted _very_ reckless like the stupid moron you are sometimes…” _Ah, there he is._ “…don’t you ever put your life in danger like that, I will personally kill you myself,” Levi threatened but she could still tell he was only trying to protect her.

“I know you’re worried and you have every right to be, but you of all people know it isn’t so easy to get rid of me,” Nathalie smiled mischievously at him and for a moment she could have sworn he almost smiled. It was still dark though, and she couldn’t really tell.

“Don’t I know it,” He agreed as he stood up. His hand reached for the top of her head, giving her hair a stroke, messing them more than they were already messed. “Don’t stay up too late, Nat,”

She chuckled as she watched him exit the library. “I won’t,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Hange’s and Nathalie’s request to capture a titan was accepted. Twenty days later, with the support of the Special Operations Squad led by Levi, the Scouts managed to capture two titans alive. The method of capture was a specific one proposed by Section Commander Hange and Lieutenant Nathalie. Not a single human life was lost.


	7. A Kid who can Turn into a Titan

“They’re trying to do… what?!”

“Plug the hole in Trost with a kid that can turn into a titan,”

“A kid that can turn into a… what?!” Levi shot her a glare letting her know that in no way was he going to repeat for a third time what he had just said. “Why weren’t we informed about this?!” Nathalie cried out and Erwin pursed his lips.

“Under the command of Commander Pixis, the Garrison Regiment is leading the entire operation as it seems,” Erwin answered.

“They’re using the 104th Cadette Corp. This is bad,” Hange added, tossing the report on the table and cringing slightly.

“Those kids are gonna get slaughtered,” Levi sighed as he crossed his hands against his chest.

“Levi…” Erwin started. “…deploy your squad. You leave immediately for Trost. Find out what’s happening, and by any means necessary, protect the kid. He may be our only hope in this battle,”

And just as the Commander had ordered, the Levi Squad deployed immediately and headed for Trost. She jumped through the streets that were filled with titan carcasses and the dead human bodies of fallen soldiers. The smell of rotting flesh and spilled blood reached her nostrils, but being in the Scout Regiment for so long, Nathalie had almost gotten used to it.

Levi turned at his team. Hange’s team was no further away taking out the rest of the titans that had infiltrated Trost. “Take out all remaining titans. Nat, you’re with me,” Levi ordered.

“Yes, sir!” The others nodded and they headed their separate ways. Nathalie followed Levi to the other side of the wall, where the large hole existed and it was now plugged with a giant stone. No one could have carried that thing but a titan.

Nathalie gasped as she looked ahead. It was three kids. The one was collapsed into the hands of another. Behind them, the carcass of another titan stood. It had started vaporising away and two more titans were about to attack them.

Levi didn’t even have to give the order. He had been fighting alongside Nathalie for so long, he had learned to read her mind and she had learned to read his own. He took out the titan on the left without saying a word. He knew she was heading for the titan on the right. And she did. They sliced off their napes, perfectly synchronised, landing down on the carcasses of the beasts. Levi turned and looked at the kids whilst Nathalie kept watch for other incoming titans with her fingers clenched around the handles of her swords.

“Pay attention, kiddos,” Levi turned at the three kids. “This is the part where you explain to me exactly what it is, I’m looking at,”

“I’m afraid that will have to wait,” Nathalie said as two more titans headed their way. Levi turned around and he sighed.

“You take the three kids out of here. I’ll take care of this,” Levi swung his swords so that he held them backwards.

Nathalie nodded. “I’ll come back,” She said and Levi nodded setting off to take down the two titans. Nathalie jumped off the corpse and she approached the kids. It was a fifteen-year-old black-haired girl with a red scarf around her neck, a blonde boy who held the other boy. But there was something about the girl’s features that felt familiar. Nathalie chose to ignore it for the moment. “So, what are your names?” Nathalie asked. The three of them looked scared to death and the one seemed half-dead. She wouldn’t blame them. They must’ve been through hell

The black-haired girl saluted Nathalie. “Mikasa Ackerman, ma’am!”

“Armin Arlert,” The blonde boy said and he looked down at the other fifteen-year-old that he’d been holding. “And this is Eren Yeager, ma’am,”

“Nice to meet you three. Armin, Mikasa, do you two have enough gas to reach the top of the wall?” Nathalie asked.

Mikasa nodded. “I think so,” Armin said.

“Great. I need you to do that for me. I’ll take Eren,” Nathalie said as she knelt beside Armin and Eren.

“Uh… with all due respect, Lieutenant, I can take Eren on my-” Mikasa said but Nathalie cut her.

“I know he’s your friend, and I’d gladly grant you your wish to carry him yourself, but after this fight today, I doubt you have enough gas to give you the proper push to support the both of you upwards,” Nathalie said as she looked at the girl who still had a troubled expression on her face.

“She’s right, Mikasa,” Armin said and Mikasa nodded hesitantly.

Nathalie passed Eren’s hand around her shoulders helping him stand. She turned at the other two. “Go,”

The kids nodded as they hooked themselves on the wall with their ODM gears and they climbed at the top. Nathalie turned at Eren. He didn’t seem to have any bad wounds anywhere. He wasn’t bleeding. He was just exhausted. He was probably the boy who had turned into a titan and she wouldn’t blame him for looking so spent. Nathalie looked up at the wall and she tried to think of _how in the world_ she was supposed to carry him upwards.

“I- I can… stand,” Eren said weakly.

Nathalie let him stand on his own. He nearly fell off again, but she wrapped her hands around him and helped him. “Can you hold on tight?” Nathalie asked. She wasn’t even sure if it was going to work, but she _had_ to save that boy.

Eren nodded weakly. “I’ll try,”

“Good,” Nathalie passed one hand tightly around him. The kid didn’t seem heavy, thankfully. He passed his own hands around her shoulders and she sent the hook on the wall. “Hold on tight!”

And he did. He clutched around her, burying his face in her shoulder as she drew them both upwards till they finally reached the top of the wall. She left him gently on the floor and she knelt beside him checking his pulse. He was okay. He didn’t need any treatment. Not urgently at least. The other two approached right away and knelt beside their friend. Nathalie stood up and she looked at the two.

“He’s gonna be alright. The Garrison will pass by soon to come pick him up,” Nathalie informed them and before they could say anything, she jumped off the wall. She did hear Armin trying to say something, but they had no time for introductions.

Nathalie enjoyed the violent brush of the wind against her face, penetrating her clothes and raising chills down her spine. She just _loved_ jumping off the walls. She looked down. Levi was fighting two titans and a third one was approaching him. She sent her hook right on the back of its nape, and she sliced it off before it could even reach Levi.

Levi turned and looked at her as the both of them landed on the same roof of the same house. “C’mon, we’ve got much work to do,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Indeed, it took them an entire day to rid the Trost District of all titans, but once again, the Trost District was handed to the people. They returned to their houses, and in return, the Scout and Garrison Regiments returned to their headquarters. That day had almost felt like a century, and there was nothing left in Trost but the dead bodies of their comrades and the carcasses of the titans. A plague would be due if they weren’t going to act fast on that.

The Scout Regiment had finished their job, and what was more exciting, they had managed to capture two titans for Hange’s and Nathalie’s research.

“Hello there, beautiful,”

Naturally, somebody would say that to a pretty girl, or even a pretty man. Or somebody would even say that to a cute little dog, or a cat, or some other kind of pet. But the circumstances _here_ were anything but normal, or even _natural._ It was still exciting, though.

They had failed the first time, unfortunately, but that didn’t stop them. Hange had sworn she was never going to repeat the same mistake again. The first two titans they had captured ended passing away during Hange’s _experimentation._ It had only happened because Nathalie didn’t happen to be there to stop Hange from getting a _little_ too far. Sadly, Chick-a-tylo and Albert had passed away. But after Eren and the Garrison managed to plug the hole in Trost District, they captured two more. It was a blonde five-metre tall one, and a brown-haired seven-metre tall one.

They made sure to have them tied down at all times, either by ropes or even nails. Nathalie had her notebook in her hands on which she was going to write down everything that happened, whilst the Garrison were all gathered around along with Hange and Moblit.

“How are we feeling? Do you have a name? Are you in pain?” Hange asked the blonde one and even though everybody was armed and gathered, and tense ready to attack, they were still under strict orders of the Section Commander not to kill any of the two specimens.

“Section Commander you’re too close!” Moblit cried out. His fists clenched around his gear, ready to attack or fall in the way should harm come Hange’s way.

“Nah, she’s fine, it’s not like it can move to attack her,” Nathalie placed a hand on his shoulder as they watched Hange move on to the next one.

“Hi there! Lovely weather, don’t you think? Are you hungry?” Hange asked leaning down slightly at the brown-haired one and Nathalie slightly cringed. Hange was indeed too close this time.

“Hange, maybe you should-”

Hange let out a yelp of surprise as Moblit pushed her back just in time evading the jaws of the titan who had attacked even though it was tied down. Hange’s back crushed against Moblit’s chest who in turn wrapped his hands tightly around her.

“Woo hoo! That was close!” Hange broke free from Moblit and jumped back up on her feet.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” Moblit cried out as Hange rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, Mobby, we got this under control,” Hange said calmly before she tried to approach the titan again, but this time Nathalie grabbed her hand and pushed her back.

“No communication can be attempted with titans. The one that talked back at Ilse was a special case,” Nathalie reminded her and Hange sighed nodding.

“Levi took the life of that precious child!” Hange growled kicking the soil. “I would have killed your boyfriend if I were you,”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. Her fingers clenched around her notebook. “WHAT?! H- He’s not my-”

Hange ignored her as she turned her attention back at the two titans and wrapped her hands behind her back. “Once upon a time, many centuries ago now, there lived a vicious tribe of cannibals. You may think I’m speaking of your kind, but in fact, these cannibals were human. In the end, these cannibals lived on human meat for twenty-five years, give or take. Historians suspect they killed around five-hundred people at that time, but they perfected the art of preparing flesh…”

“Aw man,” Nathalie mumbled as her hand reached for her forehead and rubbed an insistent ache away. She had read that story before in a history book. It wasn’t one _you can actually tell in front of stomach-sensitive people._

“…cut steaks, leg meat diced and added to stew, belly-fat made into paddies and fried, sausages made from blood clots and intestinal lining…”

Nathalie cringed as she watched some of the soldiers puking their guts out into some bushes around the place. “Uh… Hange-”

“…one might even suggest they invented the culinary arts! Alas, the people of that tribe were caught and executed afterwards. You both underestimated your quarries’ resourcefulness and got captured, thus you’re victims of your own appetite…” Hange approached them both and Moblit with Nathalie tensed up again “…in honour of the Cannibal Tribe’s notorious leader, I’m going to christen you beauties accordingly,” she pointed at the blonde one “You’ll be Sawney,” Hange turned at Nathalie and smiled. “Nathalie, I’m gonna give you the honour to christen the other one,”

Nathalie sighed. She couldn’t give just _any_ name. “If I remember the leader of the Cannibal Tribe had a close friend called Beane?”

“Excellent!” Hange turned back at the two titans. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sawney, likewise Beane,”


	8. The Wonders of a Titan

“What should we start with?” Hange asked.

“Taking caution measures?” Moblit suggested.

Hange pointed at him. “No,” She wasn’t expecting anything less from Moblit. “We already got that covered,” Moblit frowned and Hange turned at Nathalie who started suggesting.

“We see how they perform without sunlight. I need to make sure my theory’s correct,” Nathalie pushed her glasses further up her nose and Hange nodded.

“Let’s get to work,”

Nathalie kept checking on the both through the entire day. Her theory was simple. Since the titans seemed to have less energy in the night, that could only mean one thing. They photosynthesised to produce glucose, or else, energy. Without the light of the sun, photosynthesising is impossible, and thus, having energy during the night was also impossible for the titans. But unlike the titans, plants have lots of space beneath their tissue where they store glucose. The titans had no such space inside their bodies and thus they were specifically weak during the night.

But what they said about titans not needing to eat humans sounded somewhat wrong. If they were indeed photosynthesising, then they needed more than just sunlight and water and carbon dioxide to do that. Plants have roots that draw whatever minerals they need. Titans didn’t have any roots, so they obtained such elements by eating humans.

But no one -apart from Nathalie and Hange- really cared about _why_ titans eat humans. The people just liked to blame it on the titans’ appetite, but it looked more like an obsession. At least, it felt like it. Nathalie smiled up at Sawney who was half asleep and thus proving her theories. She scribbled her last assumptions on her notebook and she left it beside her lantern with her pen trapped on the inside before she took off her glasses and rubbed her aching eyes. She was sure a headache was about to take over, and she was exhausted, but she couldn’t go to sleep just yet. She had to stay and see.

Hange had let Nathalie keep an eye at Sawney for the night whilst she stayed in Beane’s tent and saw something way more interesting. Beane seemed more energetic even after all those hours that it had stayed away from the sun.

“My, my, someone’s certainly the night-owl, huh?” Hange checked on her pocket watch once more and she chuckled. The earliest hours of the morning had finally kicked in. “You’re going to wear me out. Oh well, this wouldn’t be my first time to spend a night like this in the name of science,”

“Tsk,”

Hange knew of only one person who made that sound. She immediately turned around and stood on her feet. “Levi?!”

“What are you doing? Waiting to be its bedtime snack?” Levi said with that same look of indifference on his face.

“Aw, Beane would never eat me, isn’t that right, darling?” Hange laughed as she stood up and turned at Levi.

“Where’s, Nat. I’m here to pick her up,” Levi said, and even though he still had that same look on his face, Hange chuckled.

“Oh! Right, follow me,”

Hange walked out of the tent with Levi following from behind. It wasn’t rare having Levi there after all those nights and days and hours that Nathalie and Hange had spent working together on their research. Levi would always pass by when it happened to be late enough in the night to take Nathalie back to the Special Ops Headquarters. A building that wasn’t much far away, and there were no dangers in the streets that Nathalie couldn’t fight off, but Levi insisted on coming to pick her up no matter how many times Nathalie let him know that it wasn’t necessary.

“Ah, both Nathalie and Sawney sleeping, this is honestly so cute,” Hange teased as they entered the other tent where both Nathalie and Sawney had fallen asleep. Levi sighed realising he’d have to wake her. “Right, I’ll leave her up to you,” Hange said patting a hand on Levi’s shoulder before exiting the tent. “Goodnight, Captain Levi,”

Levi approached Nathalie and knelt beside her. Her back rested by the tent, and her legs were gathered against her chest. Her head had rolled on the side. Her glasses and her notebook were resting beside her on the soil along with her lantern whose light had started to slowly fade. Nathalie’s brown hair were a mess and some strands were starting to fall on her face, but they didn’t seem to bother her. She must’ve been exhausted.

He had seen her sleep before but there was something about this time that almost made him smile. Maybe it was the peacefulness on her face that he found hard to interrupt. He knew how much of a hardworking scientist she had become after joining the Scouts. She always overworked herself, trying her best to aid in the fight against the titans. It almost reminded him back when they were younger, and he’d find her passed out by the kitchen table with a couple of books in her hands. He was never one to read anything related to science, but he liked reading generally, even though he knew the real _bookworm_ in the house was always her.

He wasn’t intending to wake her, but his hand reached for her face and cupped her cheek. He couldn’t tell why _in the world_ he’d felt the need to do that. Maybe he just wanted to see the unconscious, instinctive reaction of her face as it leaned against his hand, recognising him immediately even though she was still asleep. He sighed. He wasn’t going to wake her after all. He found that he couldn’t.

He settled her small notebook and her glasses in his pocket, before his hands reached beneath her and he picked her up. Her hand grabbed hold of his jacket and she buried her face in his chest. He knew no one would see him and Nathalie was sound asleep, so there was no reason to hide the ever-growing smile on his face now. He couldn’t tell _why_ he was smiling, he just knew he liked holding her. He was going to carry her home.

Hange had barely caught a glimpse of Levi carrying Nathalie away, but it still brought a smile to her face. These two had been together ever since she could remember them. Alas, their feelings were much apparent to anyone but themselves. When they were gone, she sighed and set off to get back in Beane’s tent and keep watch over it for the night. But once she entered, she realised Beane wasn’t in there alone. Moblit was sitting on the soil just like she was sitting before. He had left a tray beside him that had a little bit of bread with cheese and water.

“Thought you might be hungry,” Moblit said and he gave her a smile.

Hange was caught off guard, but she knew that she probably shouldn’t be surprised. It wasn’t the first time Moblit would be insisting not to go to sleep and just stay there and keep her some company. Hange couldn’t believe she was probably blushing and she could do nothing but thank the darkness and the small light of their lanterns that wasn’t enough to show much.

Hange sat beside him. The tray rested between them and she sat cross-legged, propping herself backwards on her hands. “Mobby, what are you doing here? You should be asleep!”

“And let you get potentially eaten by a titan?! I don’t think so,” Moblit insisted.

Hange laughed. Moblit had always been overprotective and he’d always grasp the chance to scold her, but it was always for her own good. She had almost gotten used it. If anything, she couldn’t imagine a day going by without Moblit scolding her to death. Her hand reached for the bread and the cheese. She hadn’t realised she was hungry until she took a bite and her stomach growled. Moblit chuckled.

“You didn’t show up for lunch,” He pointed out.

“How could I? There’s so much work to be done here! Imagine the possibilities of what we can find if we research on them thoroughly,” Hange said with her mouth full. If he didn’t know her well, he wouldn’t be able to tell what she was trying to say.

“Indeed, Hange,” Moblit nodded before he turned his attention at the titan who had slowly started to pass out. It had lasted long enough. “I was going to ask whether you were planning to go to sleep, but I’m not even gonna try, I know you won’t,” Moblit said.

Hange laughed again. “Well, there’s no better scientist around to keep watch over my babies,”

Moblit raised an eyebrow. “Thank you, Hange, but if I recall correctly, I was the one with top grades back in the university,”

“Oh… right,” Hange had to once again remind herself that Moblit could easily be in her position. They had both studied the same thing in the same university.

It was her own _crazy_ idea to join he Scouts after graduating even though both Hange and Moblit had degrees that could get them a pretty good job as doctors in Wall Rose. But they had both lost lots of friends to the titans, they couldn’t stand cowering behind the walls and doing nothing to _end_ this conflict. And like the _idiot_ that he was, Moblit had followed Hange no matter how many times she had tried to convince him to stay away from the Scouts.

“Well, thank you for the dinner! You should really go to sleep, you know!” Hange said.

Moblit shrugged. “I’m not tired,”

“You know, there’s lots of psychology books claiming that people may be tired but not aware of it,” Hange pressed.

“You don’t say,”

“Yes! So, no need to stay here with me all night, I’m fine,”

“I’m not,”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been tasked with keeping you safe from your own recklessness,” Moblit said and Hange fought back the need to groan. That was true. That was the exact reason he was her second in command in the squad and her messenger as well. “That includes keeping you from getting eaten by the test subject,”

Hange gasped. “They’re not test subjects! They’re my babies! Besides, Beane’s too weak to eat me now, so you have no reason to worry,”

“Really? Does that also suggest you’re not too exhausted yourself? If you pass out, Beane may take the chance and eat you,” Moblit said.

He did have a point but her ego would never let her admit it. “Oh boy, you’re so paranoid,”

“At least, _one_ of us, is,”

“Alright, I’ll prove you wrong and stay awake all night,” Hange said determinedly.

“Okay then. If you haven’t fallen asleep in ten minutes from now, I will leave. If not, I’ll take you to bed,” Moblit said with a playful smile. She was getting that look of stubbornness and determination on her face. The one that she had whenever they were about to go through exams back then at the university.

Hange laughed. “Prepare to be utterly disappointed,”

He smiled. _Always so full of confidence_. “Sure,”

Hange’s head was resting against his shoulder in less than five minutes, and soft snores were already escaping her nose. Who was she trying to fool? He honestly thought he knew her better than himself sometimes. Yet again, he’d give it all for that reckless, stubborn, selfless, genius, insane woman whose head was now resting against his shoulder. Beane was well protected by the Garrison guards that exchanged shifts throughout all nights. Hange was just being paranoid.

He picked her up and carried her towards the Headquarters that were only a few steps away. He’d very much _love_ to see the look on her face once she’d wake up tomorrow. 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Like every other day, Nathalie woke up earlier than everybody. Even earlier than Levi. Waking up in her bed wasn’t quite what she expected since she remembered clearly, she had passed out in Sawney’s tent, but she knew exactly what had happened. Levi had come again to pick her up, hadn’t he? He hadn’t slapped her across the face like he usually would and instead he had carried her.

It sounded so unlike Levi, but who else would it be? For all she knew, Gunther, Eld, Oluo and Petra were always under that harsh training of Levi’s and in the nights they’d all either collapse in their quarters or walk out to meet their relatives. If it really was Levi then why in the _world_ didn’t he wake her up? Nathalie just shook her head. No matter the reason, she’d have to thank him somehow and she knew just the thing.

She was being as silent as possible when she placed a cup of steaming hot jasmine tea on his bedside table. He looked asleep. A hand was tucked beneath his pillow. His hair were a wonderful mess against the pillow. She had a feeling that he most likely knew she was there and he was just pretending to be asleep. Nothing could slip beneath Levi’s nose, not even her.

She left the cup by the bedside table and she exited the room as cautiously and as silently as she had entered. Her assumptions were correct when Levi opened his eyes only to see the cup resting on the wooden table beside his bed. He turned and gave a look at the door of his room as she closed it. He couldn’t really tell if he had actually fooled her about being asleep, but the tea beside his bed was more than welcome.

The moment Nathalie stepped foot into Headquarters where they carried out their experiments with the titans, she could hear Hange’s cries merged with the cries of an enraged titan in pain. _Oh no._ Nathalie had a bad feeling about this. She pushed all Garrison soldiers aside and she reached Hange who launched towards Beane with a spear stabbing it right into its eye. It growled and squirmed in its restraints and Hange kept crying and sobbing as if she was feeling the pain herself.

“It isn’t necessary for you to scream, Section Commander!” Moblit tried to reason as he approached Hange and he tried to place a hand on her shoulder.

“I CAN’T DO THIS AND NOT SCREAM, DAMN YOU!” Hange cried out. She had pushed her glasses off to let the tears stream down her cheeks. “Look at him! He’s in absolute agony! MY POOR BEANE, I’M SO SORRY!”

Hange launched another attack on the titan, stabbing the same eye and Nathalie cringed. “Oh my God, I’m five minutes late and this happens,” She shook her head.

“Lieutenant Nathalie, do something!” Moblit cried out helplessly and Nathalie gave him a nod before she rushed over at Hange stopping her from attacking Beane’s other eye.

“Look at him, Nathalie, he’s in so much pain, LET ME GIVE HIM SOME MORE!” Hange sobbed and resisting against Nathalie, but Nathalie managed to snatch the spear off her hands.

“You’re obviously not fond of doing this, so let me do it, dammit!” Nathalie tried to reason and it took Hange a moment but she nodded. Nathalie reached for the handkerchief in her pocket and she handed it to Hange who wiped her tears with it. Nathalie grabbed the spear as Hange walked away, and she looked up at the titan who had been squirming and groaning in pain. “Alright, Beane, what’s your favourite colour?”

Hange raised an eyebrow. “I don’t see how this is going to- AH!”

Hange cried out with Beane as the beast growled and squirmed in pain when Nathalie punctured his eye. Nathalie pulled back with the bloody spear in her hands and she shrugged. “He definitely feels pain,”

“YOU THINK?!” Hange cried out. She tried to reach for the spear but Moblit wrapped his arms around her and held her back. “Let me give Sawney some pain too!” Hange cried out and fought against Moblit, but his hands tightened around her.

“Section Commander, please, let the Lieutenant to do it!”

Nathalie nodded. “It’s alright Hange, I know how to poke his eyes out just fine,”

“No! My poor baby!”

Moblit held onto Hange as she cried and sobbed against his chest, watching Nathalie as she stabbed the titan on the chest, his eyes, his face. She stabbed the eye once again hoping to hurt its brain, but then she reminded herself that titans possibly didn’t have brains and thus didn’t have intelligence. Or if they did, it wasn’t a vital part to their survival.

But much to everybody’s surprise -and Hange’s relief- Sawney could not feel pain. Hange let go off Moblit and she approached the bleeding titan who had absolutely no reaction no matter how many times Nathalie stabbed it with the spear, Sawney didn’t even budge.

“Sawney, darling, don’t you feel any pain?” Hange asked confusedly as she put her glasses back on.

“Maybe he doesn’t have pain sensors?” Nathalie suggested turning at Hange.

“Could be,” Hange nodded. “Or else, he’s being too stubborn,” She added and that’s when Sawney opened his mouth as if he was trying to speak. Nathalie didn’t buy it. She took a few steps back and tried to drag Hange with her but Hange insisted on approaching the titan.

“Sawney? Sweet-pea? Talk to me, darling!”

Sawney almost chopped her head off if it weren’t for Moblit and Nathalie to drag her away. “For the love of God, STAND CLEAR!” Moblit cried out furiously and Hange started laughing.

“You almost got me this time, darling!”

Nathalie groaned and rubbed her aching forehead as she watched Moblit scolding Hange once more.

“You want your head chopped off?!”


	9. A New Member of the Scouts

Eren was taken into custody, and a court would be deciding his fate soon. Nathalie couldn’t even believe they were thinking of killing him after everything that he had done to plug the hole in Trost and fight off the titans the day before. They were afraid he couldn’t control it. Mankind always tended to fear all that which they could not understand.

The Garrison and the Military Regiments wanted to execute him, and the Scout Regiment wanted to use his abilities to fight off the titans. Nathalie groaned. Going to courts and just _watching_ people talk wasn’t her favourite task, but as a second in command of the Special Ops, she had to be there beside Levi. She could tell he hated it too but he had assured her, they were going to win that court. She had no doubts that Erwin had an ace up his sleeve and when she had asked Levi, he just said _‘Just watch’._

 _Alright then._ It was exactly what she was going to do throughout the entire court. She tried her best, but she didn’t pay much attention to the nonsense that everybody’s been saying. Commander Erwin stated simply what they wanted to do with Eren, and that was it.

Then the priests in the other side of the room started spouting their own nonsense and then Eren started shouting as well. But then the most interesting part came. It was that one thing that Levi had told her. _Just watch._ Levi stood up and approached Eren, and he started beating him up.

A rough kick in the face had Eren’s tooth knocked on the floor. Nathalie made a mental note to collect that afterwards. And then another rough kick on the stomach. All that punching and kicking took a while and whilst everyone was focused on Eren being beaten up, Nathalie could focus on nothing but that tooth and a couple of blood droplets that had spilled on the floor. She should probably take a blood sample _as well_.

Eren’s groaning and wincing drew her out of it though. _Maybe_ Levi was taking this too far. _Or maybe not._ That was Erwin’s whole plan from the beginning, wasn’t it? Nathalie had seen Levi beating people up before, but this was the first time she felt the need to cringe slightly. She could almost _hear_ Eren’s bones breaking in two.

Mikasa was nearly on her feet to defend her friend, but Armin grabbed her hand and kept her down. _Thank goodness._ Nathalie cringed when Levi’s boot landed on Eren’s face once more. It almost reminded her of the good old times when she and Levi would get beaten up like that in the streets of the Underground. Nathalie shook her head. _Kids these days_ couldn’t have possibly known such pain.

“You know, personally, I think nothing instils discipline like pain,” Levi said. He looked down at Eren who was squirming beneath his boot. “You don’t need a good talking-to. What you’re in need of, boy, is a lesson. And you happen to be in perfect kicking position,”

There was something about the way that Levi said that that made Nathalie bite her tongue. _Damn._ She had no time for that crap, she just focused on the fact Levi kept beating him up until he was stopped by the Commander of the Military Police himself.

“N- Now hold on, Levi!”

Levi turned and looked at the Commander with that same look of indifference on his face. “What is it?”

“What if he gets angry and turns into a titan?!”

Levi gave him another kick on the face. “Don’t be silly. After all, you guys just want to dissect him, don’t you? During the time that he was transformed, they said that Yeager was able to kill twenty titans before he ran out of strength. As an enemy, his intelligence makes him all the more dangerous, but I can still take him down without a problem…”

_Ah, so that is the plan._

They managed to convince the General that under Captain Levi’s supervision, Eren could be controlled. He just had to control his ability in the next Expedition to prove his worth to mankind.

Hange and Nathalie got all the medication they could find and headed towards the room Eren was taken. After all that beating, Nathalie was sure he had more than just a few broken ribs.

“Well, that went better than I expected,” Hange admitted as she knelt in front of Eren and looked up at his wounds.

Nathalie approached with some ice wrapped in a cloth and she handed it to him. “Press it on your head, but not for long,” Nathalie instructed and Eren nodded.

“Does it hurt?” Hange asked.

Eren pouted. “Yeah,”

“Yeah?! Describe it to me!” Hange said excitedly and Nathalie placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh my God, Hange, give the kid some time before we proceed to that,” Nathalie said and Hange giggled maniacally.

“Sorry for all that, but the theatrics did get you placed in our custody,” Erwin said.

“I understand,” Eren said nodding.

“I assure you the pain was worth it…” Erwin knelt in front of Eren and extended his hand for a handshake. “…you have my utmost respect. Eren, I’m glad that you’re on our team,”

Eren shook the Commander’s hand with a smile on his face. “Me too, glad to be here, sir!”

Levi sat beside him on the couch a little bit harsher than he should have. Eren jumped up in fear. He squirmed slightly away and Nathalie frowned smacking Levi’s shoulder. _“Be nice!”_ She mouthed at him and Levi just shrugged.

“So, Eren,”

“S- Sir…”

“You don’t resent me, now, do you?” Levi asked raising an eyebrow.

“You beat him up senseless, what do you think?” Nathalie asked and Levi shot her a glare.

“N- No! It’s alright. I can see that what Captain Levi did was necessary,” Eren said.

“Good, then you understand,” Levi said.

“Still! Don’t you think you went too far?!” Hange cut in. “I mean, you knocked his tooth out!” Hange pulled out a handkerchief where the tooth rested.

“I’ve been looking for that!” Nathalie cried out as she approached Hange and grabbed the tooth between her fingers.

“Don’t complain! I did leave some blood back for you,” Hange said and Nathalie laughed.

“You two are so fucking disgusting,” Levi groaned and he turned at Eren. “Just be glad _that_ people like that aren’t dissecting you,”

“How dare you compare us to them!?” Nathalie glared at Levi. “We’d never even _dream_ of killing him,”

“Hey, Eren, let me take a look inside that mouth of yours!” Hange said excitedly as she leaned over at the boy who seemed hesitant at first but he finally did as he was asked.

Nathalie’s eyes widened. “No way,”

Everybody leaned in to have a look. “Your tooth…” Hange said “…it grew back,”


	10. Welcome to the Special Ops

“Do NOT be deceived, greenhorn,”

“E- Excuse me?”

“Don’t be expecting the royal treatment. Whether you’re a titan or a human, we all share the Captain’s skills to-” Oluo tried to say, but instead he received a smack on his shoulder by Nathalie as she urged her horse to approach his.

“We do not do royal treatment, but we also don’t scare children to death,” Nathalie scolded him and Oluo groaned.

“He could be a double-crossing enemy!” Oluo cried out.

“Doesn’t look like one to me,” Petra said.

“Well, I knew you women would straight up bond with the kid but I wasn’t expecting such a-” Oluo never got to finish the sentence as his horse stepped on a rock and he ended up biting his tongue hard enough to draw blood. Oluo cried out in pain and his hand reached for his mouth right away.

Nathalie tried her best not to laugh and she took out a handkerchief handing it to him. “Here,” She would’ve smacked far harsher than that but he seemed in pain already.

Having Eren around called for some special measures. The Special Operations Squad were given a different Headquarters, remote and far away from all towns and Cities. Greenery surrounded it. It was a castle that once belonged to a noble family. It was now abandoned and once the team was brought there, they’d have to move the boxes with their belongings and most importantly, _clear the place._

Levi _always_ prioritised hygiene and Nathalie would never blame him. She would never admit, but she too was a clean-freak sometimes. She took care of moping and clearing the glass of the windows. Gunther and Eld took care of the garden and Petra changed all bedsheets and dusted every corner of every room. Levi was around everyone, making sure they were doing their work well. Eren was given half of the rooms for him to mop. Nathalie couldn’t mop the entire place. The rooms were many, and the castle was big.

Levi wouldn’t trust _anybody_ to clean his own bedroom but Nathalie and himself. He still checked up on her. He entered the big room where his new double bed rested and he _tsk_ -ed. What good would a double bed do? He had been sleeping in the streets beside the sewer rats for as long as he could remember. He just assumed it previously belonged to the head of the house.

The stony floor was clear enough to squeak beneath his shoes. Nathalie was in a grey dress with a cloth wrapped around her hair keeping them off her face. She could not focus otherwise. She turned and looked at him, resting a hand on her waist whilst the other hand held onto the mop. She turned and looked at him slightly breathless. She had to make sure she scrubbed the floor thoroughly. She was in no mood to have him scold her should he find a spec of dust on the floor.

“How’s it looking, _boss?”_ Nathalie asked sarcastically raising an eyebrow.

Levi did not give her an answer right away. He approached the bed that was covered into the freshly washed sheets and his hand reached beneath searching for dirt. He found nothing. He did the same with the bedside table and with the small desk that stood in front of the window. The window was opened, allowing the fresh air in. She had done a good job. She always did _perfectly_ whatever it was that he’d ask of her. It was one of the many things that he liked in her.

He turned and nodded at her and he headed out. “I’ll do your room,” He informed her, and before she could say anything to subject, he closed the door behind him and left with no further words.

Nathalie slightly cringed. The floor of her own room was going to be _way_ squeakier than his. She didn’t mind him going to her room. She didn’t have anything to hide from him and he didn’t have anything to hide from her. The only things she’d brought with her were books and clothes.

Nathalie finished with Levi’s room and she headed towards the other rooms that she hadn’t been in yet. She found Eren mopping and Petra dusting. Nathalie wiped the sweat off her forehead and she smiled at the two.

“I see you two got this one covered,” She said.

“Sure!” Petra said.

“Y- Yeah, no worries,” 

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “You okay, Eren?” She asked.

“Well, he’s better than before if that’s what you’re asking,” Petra said before leaving the room to work on the next one.

“Lemme guess,” Nathalie crossed her hands against her chest and pressed half her weight against the entrance of the room. “You had a talk with the Captain,”

“Uh…” Eren seemed tense but she wouldn’t blame him. It was all so foreign to him. She too wouldn’t feel comfortable if she was living with a house with six other people who would kill her without a second thought.

“It’s alright, it’s completely understandable. The Captain can be a quite a jerk sometimes-”

“I heard that,” Levi’s voice came from behind and Nathalie groaned.

“I know that’s why I said it,” Nathalie said as she turned at Levi who had been standing at the same spot eavesdropping the entire time. “How long have you been standing there?! Weren’t you supposed to be cleaning my room right now?”

Levi gave her a look before he realised she was right, and he finally turned around and walked upstairs. Levi always had that _bad habit_ of sitting in the corners and listening to people talk.

“How long has he been standing there?!” Eren asked surprised. He hadn’t even noticed. _How did she-_

“I’d say ten minutes or so,” Nathalie shrugged before she turned her attention back at Eren. “Where was I? Ah, yes, he might be a jerk, but I assure you he always has your best interests at heart,”

“I see. You seem to know him a great deal,” Eren said.

“Well, the Captain and I go way back,” Nathalie realised she had yet to properly introduce herself to him. She approached him and extended a hand forward. “Nathalie Burgess. I’m second in command here. Should you need anything just let me know,” 

“W- Wait, you’re the one who saved me back in Trost,”

“Indeed,”

“Aren’t you like… scared of me like the rest of the people here?” Eren asked hesitantly and Nathalie shrugged.

“Why would I? For all I know if it weren’t for you, Trost wouldn’t be ours now…” he seemed to relax upon hearing that “…that said, I look forward to helping you learn how to control that unique ability. You can help us shift the tide in this war, so don’t worry about us killing you. We’re only doing whatever we can to protect you from the clutches of the government,” Nathalie explained simply.

Eren nodded. He looked better now than before. “I see. Thank you, ma’am,”

“No problem! Again, if you need anything, let me know,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

They didn’t get to finish cleaning the entire castle. The outside walls were still covered in greenery and seeds. They’d get back to work tomorrow morning, but for now, the sun had hidden behind the mountains of the horizon and darkness had started to spread. It was time to make some dinner and like always, everybody helped on that too, except maybe the Captain.

Petra and Nathalie were the ones who’d tell the boys what to do to help. A little bit of soup would be perfect for the night since the temperature outside had already started dropping, and the stone walls of the castle weren’t doing a good job at keeping the cold out.

Nathalie served them their soup by the wooden table where everybody had gathered. Petra, Oluo, and Gunther were sitting on one side, Nathalie and Eld were sitting across them, Levi on the one end of the table and Eren on the other. They ate in silence.

It wasn’t always that Nathalie knew how to cook. She had only learned by a few books that she had stolen _once upon a time_ , but usually, she kept improvising, and thankfully it all turned out good. Petra too knew a thing or two and combined, they were able to make pretty decent meals for the team.

But tea was _always_ in order afterwards. Nathalie took a sip from her tea and she turned her attention at Eld who started talking. 

“It’s safe to assume our standing orders won’t stretch until next week. Word is, we’re gonna be gearing up for a big mission a month from now. The graduates are supposed to be our main backup,” 

Nathalie cringed. “The cadettes?!”

“That can’t be right,” Gunther said. “Why do something like that? The cadets have been through enough with the last titan attack, why subject them to that kind of danger again?”

“Can’t imagine how many of those greenies peed themselves,” Oluo said with a smirk that Nathalie felt like smacking off his face for a moment.

“Surely, that can’t be the case,” Petra turned at Nathalie, searching for an explanation.

“Even if it is, it’s Erwin’s plan and he definitely has a reason for doing this,” Nathalie said and Levi nodded.

“Exactly. Mission planning isn’t my responsibility, but it is Erwin’s. And you can bet the man’s taken care of every single angle,” Levi said.

“That’s true. Especially with how unique the situation is,” Eld added “Considering how many people died on the path to taking back Wall Maria, then hope comes in a form no one expected. One that we’re not even entirely sure how to deal with,” He turned and looked at Eren. Everybody did. “So how does it work? You turning into a titan,”

“Wish I could tell you, but the fact is my memory’s not clear,” Eren said hesitantly. “I do know the trigger seems to be hurting myself in some way, like biting my hand,”

“You’re not gonna get anything out of him, apart from what the scribblers laid out in the reports,” Levi said taking a sip from his tea.

Nathalie sighed. “That’s why we got a special guest coming over tomorrow,” She turned at Eren. “We’re gonna help you learn how to control it,”

“You’ll be lucky if you come out alive after those two lay their hands on you,” Levi said and Nathalie gasped offendedly.

“He is a precious specimen! We wouldn’t even _dare_ to threaten his life! For all I know, we could even heal all illnesses if we figure out what it is that helps him regenerate tissue! And not mention the possibilities of his-” Nathalie was cut by a sudden bang on the door, and a large wince of pain coming from the other side.

Everybody groaned except maybe Nathalie who had a smile on her face, and Eren who looked half-scared to death. Nathalie stood up and opened the door to Hange who was rubbing her head after banging it hard on that door clumsily.

“I’m so sorry… Good evening, team Levi! How’s castle life treating everyone?” Hange asked as she walked in.

“You’re too early,” Levi said and Nathalie tried her best to keep herself from laughing. He was doing a pretty good job with that indifferent expression on his face, but if the circumstances were different, he would have _gutted_ Hange on the spot. He was in no mood for _Hange’s shit right now._

“No, it’s fine,” Nathalie shrugged.

Levi frowned. _No, it’s not._

“Have a seat,” Nathalie said as she let Hange in.

“Aw, thank you, Nathalie,” Hange settled on a chair beside Eren who looked at her confusedly.

“Section Commander Hange?”

“Hello, Eren, in case you haven’t pieced it out yet, Lieutenant Nathalie and I are heads of the Scouts’ Researching Department,” Hange explained at Eren with a smile.

“Essentially, we experiment on our captive titans trying to figure out their biology,” Nathalie added.

“We’d very much appreciate your help,” Hange said.

“My help? In what way? Like, what would I have to do?” Eren asked confusedly.

“Join us, of course!” Hange snapped “On a quest of scientific discovery!” Hange cried out excitedly and Nathalie cringed. She could tell she had scared the poor kid.

“W- Well, I’d be happy to help, but I’m afraid it’s not up to me. You see, I’m under close restrictions by order of the higher-ups-” Eren tried to say and Hange turned at Levi.

“Levi, what’s on the schedule for him tomorrow?”

“Clearing out all the weeds…?” Levi answered.

“Excellent then! It’s settled,” Hange grabbed Eren’s hand. “Young man, tomorrow we’ll be grand,”

And then Eren asked that _one_ **question** that nobody should ever ask Hange. _Ever._ “O- Okay… just so I’m clear, what exactly will I be doing? Are you… running **experiments** or something?”

Nathalie cringed and signed at him from behind Hange’s back. She shook her head negatively mouthing ‘No’ a couple of times. Eren looked both at Nathalie and Hange trying to figure out what to do exactly.

“Ah, I knew it! You possess a singularly curious mind, don’t you?” Hange asked excitedly, and that’s when all the others stood up and walked out of the room.

 _No one_ was in the mood for a lecture on titan biology. Thankfully, there was still lots of tea, so Nathalie settled on a chair opposite of Hange and beside Eren. Nathalie served them both tea and she began to talk.

“You see, as scientists, naturally we started with all the standard primary procedures we conduct on all such captures. First of all, was attempting communication. Of course, it all went in vain…”

They both explained to Eren the differences between Sawney and Beane to how much they could last without sunlight, and the pain testing they had done that same day. Much to Nathalie’s surprise, Eren seemed very interested and troubled about what they had been telling him. Hange and Nathalie couldn’t hold back the excitement of finding someone else who looked interested in that stuff.

“…nevertheless, Sawney’s range of expression is limited, I think. All he knows to do is lunge and bite,” Hange finished explaining.

“Or maybe he doesn’t have pain sensors and doesn’t feel pain at all,” Nathalie added.

“That too, and if that’s the case then we could use that somehow,” Hange said.

Nathalie shook her head. “Pain may be… well, _painful_ , but it drives the sense of danger, so it’s useful,”

“Good point! But maybe we should capture titans who don’t feel pain next time. It would be easier to dig deep without hurting them,” 

“Commander, Lieutenant, all due respect, but how can you two be so light-hearted about them. You two talk like they’re badly behaved pets. It’s just… they’re the single biggest threat mankind has ever faced. They’ve nearly driven us to extinction. You’re both in the Scouts. You know that better than anyone. You’ve seen them in action countless times,” Eren said confusedly.

“True, in fact more than a fair share of friends have died in the jaws of a titan right in front of me,” Hange said. “When I first became a Scout, I fought them out of pure white-hot hatred,”

“That’s basically why Levi and I joined the Scouts. After watching our best friend’s head being chopped off, we had no choice but to stay and keep fighting, and I’m pretty sure that’s exactly why you joined as well. But don’t you ever sit down and wonder _why_ are they out there? Why do they attack us? Who created them? What if they were humans who ended up like this?” Nathalie said and those questions seemed to bring the kid in deep thought.

“Is there… such possibility?” Eren asked confusedly.

“We don’t know,” Hange said. “We just know that everything can be possible, and that realisation hit me when I kicked the head of a three-metre titan out of spite. It weighed next to nothing. Might as well have been a feather,”

“And still their strength ranks really high,” Nathalie added. “We’ve been given to understand that when you transform, your titan body seems to materialise out of thin air,”

“It’s so bizarre,” Hange shook her head as she took a sip from her tea and they stood in silence for a short moment until Eren spoke.

“Commander Hange, Lieutenant Nathalie, if you two don’t mind, I think I should hear about these experiments in greater detail,”

Hange’s eyes widened. _No way._ “Are you serious?!”

“Yes,” Eren nodded. “I wanna know everything. If I’m going to help you two tomorrow, I’ll need it,”

“We may be here a while, are you sure, dear?” Nathalie warned him.

“Good,” Eren nodded with a smile.

Hange gave Nathalie that same look that she’d given her the very first time they had opened a titan carcass to see what hid beneath. It was that look of excitement and Nathalie couldn’t hold back her own. Eren was _actually_ interested in this.

Nathalie tried her best not to cry. _I already love this kid!_

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

They talked about these the entire night. Nothing could possibly stop Hange and Nathalie from babbling till the sun was up, even though Nathalie could tell, Eren was about to pass out. But then the one thing none of them could expect happened.

“Section Commander Hange, Lieutenant Nathalie! Come quickly!” It was Moblit barging in the room. He seemed breathless and in hurry. _Did he run all the way out here?!_ “The test-subjects… they’re dead!”


	11. The Commander's Plan

It took more than a few hours for Hange to stop crying. No matter how much Nathalie held her and tried to reason with her that they could capture other titans in the future, Hange did not stop shouting and sobbing as they watched the bodies and the bones of their test subjects being vaporised. Nathalie let go of Hange and let Moblit take over her. She just turned and looked at the crime scheme and she wondered. Who _in the world_ would have done this? And why?

She knew there were lots of people who hated titans, but keeping them tied down and nailed on the floor, and inflicting them pain should be something that quenched that hatred. It was a soldier’s work for sure. The Garrison soldiers let her know that they had found discarded ODMs.

“Nat,” She heard a familiar voice coming from behind and she turned around to see Levi. “The Commander's gathering us,”

She nodded and followed him. He wasn’t wrong. Commander Erwin had gathered all Section Commanders -except maybe Hange who was a crying mess at the moment- Lieutenants and Captains of the Scouts.

Erwin had a serious expression on his face as he made sure they strayed away from the crowd and he crossed his hands against his chest. “It is with no doubt that there are traitors amongst us,”

Nathalie gritted her teeth. He was right. Why else kill titans? It wasn’t pure hatred, it was something else. They were starting to figure out things with those test subjects. Things that someone didn’t want them to figure out. She looked around at the others. It seemed that they were all on the same page.

“How will we find out which Regiment to look at?” Nathalie asked.

“They’re not from a Regiment. Not yet, at least. Tonight, on the cadets’ graduation, I will lure them out,” Erwin said.

“And what’s gonna be the bait?” Levi asked.

Erwin smirked. “Intel. Nathalie, I need you with me tonight. Levi, you keep an eye on Eren,”

Both nodded. “Yes, sir,” 

“Lieutenant Nathalie, a word, please. The rest of you are dismissed,” Erwin said and Nathalie raised an eyebrow.

What was so important that he needed to tell her alone? Levi shot Erwin a glare as he watched both Nathalie and Erwin walk further away just the two of them. He could tell it was none of his business whatever Nathalie did with whoever, but the bastard either had some dangerous mission for her or something else in mind that he was sure he wouldn’t like. Levi didn’t give _a fuck_ about creating a scheme. He was going to stick around and watch.

“What is it, Commander?” Nathalie asked looking up at Commander Erwin. He always seemed to be taller than _everyone._

“Tonight, new people will be joining the Scouts and tomorrow their training starts. I need someone intelligent enough to get close to the cadets. I will assign you and Section Commander Ness their training. You’ll brief them on anything they’ll need to know about titans. If you find anybody suspicious, report to me immediately,” Erwin said and Nathalie nodded.

“Yes, sir, but may I ask a question?” Nathalie asked and Erwin nodded. “What makes you think it’s the cadets?”

Erwin sighed. “Nothing. It could be anyone, that’s why I can’t entrust the _actual_ plan of the upcoming Expedition to everyone, but…” His hand reached for his pocket and he took out a letter “…Hange’s working on something big. She will brief you on the matter, and I’ll trust you’ll help her. This…” he handed her the letter “…this is the actual plan. You may tell Levi, but no one else, not even your squad members, is that clear, Lieutenant?”

Nathalie didn’t like this. The graduates were going to be joining them in this, and he was going to keep _everybody_ in the dark. They were going to get themselves slaughtered unless Erwin’s plan was just _too brilliant_ that he had considered keeping the rookies safe somehow. She didn’t doubt the brilliance of whatever plan it was that he’d written on that letter, and she knew the Commander was doing the right thing _not trusting anybody._ Even the ones who have been with them _for years_.

She could only guess that he’d given similar letters to all the other Lieutenants, Captains, and Section Commanders, thus avoiding to make an actual meeting for this. Things were getting serious.

“Do not worry about the protection of the cadets during the Expedition,” Erwin said as if he had read her mind. He gave her a smile. “I have assigned you to lead them during the Expedition, but if you’re not up to it, I’ll just leave it on Commander Ness,”

Nathalie sighed. Whatever she did, she could not escape _leadership._ The longer she survived in the Scouts, the more qualified she got to _lead_ and she knew one day it was inevitable that she would.

“I’ll lead them, Commander. But I cannot promise that they’ll all come back alive,” Nathalie said and Erwin nodded in understanding.

“We need them. Bring most of them back,” Erwin said “You’re dismissed, Lieutenant,”

Well, that still went better than she expected. For once in her life she was going to lead a squad, and this squad was going to be the rookies. _Just my luck_. Their lives would be in her hands the moment they’d step out of the walls. She knew Levi and the Special Ops were more than safe when they’d step foot out there.

They were more than capable of protecting Eren, but all those kids were now her own responsibility and somehow the weight of their lives felt too heavy on her shoulders already. Nathalie sighed. She had accepted that task. There was no backing out of this now. She walked back towards Levi who was waiting for her with that look on his face that he got whenever he was about to _commit murder_.

“What did he want?!” Levi demanded.

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. Maybe teasing him would help her feel better. _It always did_. “What do you think?”

Levi’s eyes almost widened for a second, but he wiped the anger and the surprise right away, replacing it with that same dead look on his face. He turned his back on her and started walking away.

“Let’s get going,” It was the only thing he said, and she could’ve sworn she was about to suffocate from laughter. Did he actually think that she and the Commander were _fucking?_ He turned around and shot her a glare. “What the fuck are you laughing at?!”

“Oh my- your face-” Nathalie’s hand reached for her stomach, clutching around her shirt. Her other hand reached for her face pulling her glasses away and wiping the tears. She knew he’d always acted like a big brother to her who always had her back and protected her, but she never thought it would get _that_ far. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Relax, he just wanted to talk about the Expedition,”

“Then why the fuck didn’t he want _me_ around. I’m your Captain, whatever I say you do,” Levi shook her hand away from his shoulder.

“And he’s the Commander. Whatever he says we all do,” Nathalie said and she knew she had hit a nerve when his fists slightly clenched. Levi sighed and rubbed his forehead as they turned around and started walking away.

“Whatever,”

She could tell he was angry. She sighed. “Erwin just wants me to take over the cadets’ training tomorrow and report all suspects,”

Levi hummed. Of course, Erwin would need someone smart that he could trust to do that. Erwin knew better than anyone in here both him and Nathalie had a large experience with interrogating people and reading people’s characters. If anybody could spot the traitors in the crowd was Levi and Nathalie. Levi was the Captain, and he was in no position to train the greenies, but Nathalie’s responsibilities weren’t as many as Levi’s so she did have the time for that. Especially _now_ that her test subjects were dead and she had nothing to work on in the Researching Department of the Scouts.

“What else?”

“We better talk about this in private back in HQ,”

Levi nodded. He was very much aware that he had _probably_ overreacted, but he couldn’t tell _why in the world_ he couldn’t control himself. Was the thought of Nathalie being with someone so bad? _Yes,_ it was _terrible_. Nathalie was _his._ His alone to stare at and touch and call her _nicknames_.

He didn’t give a _fuck_ about what those thoughts meant. She was _his,_ and _his_ alone. He hadn’t realised he had stopped walking just to watch her. Her hair were a mess that barely reached her shoulders, and her glasses her just above her nose. She tucked them back in place with her finger as she turned and looked at him. Those bright blue eyes of hers found his own with a smile on her face.

“Are you coming?”

Nothing but the sound of her voice could snap him out of that _treacherous_ haze. What _the hell_ was happening to him? She had always been precious to him but _this…_ this was something else. He’d just keep telling himself that what made her precious was that she was the only person that he had left and cared about, but he also cared about his squad. Petra, Oluo, Gunther, Eld. They were all precious to him, but Nathalie had been _there_ from the _very start_.

She had seen him at his best and at his worst and she would always stick by him. Those were just excuses that he was making trying to explain why he was staring at her _now,_ but deep down he had a feeling he knew exactly what was going on. It was dangerous to fall for someone at such times. It was dangerous to grow _any_ kind of attachments especially for people who served in the Scouts.

 _No._ This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t have possibly fallen. He couldn’t have possibly allowed himself to _fall_. How _in the world_ was he going to deal with this? He should have realised this when he carried her all the way back to Headquarters instead of waking her up a few days ago.

“Levi? Are you okay?”

She had approached him. _Now,_ she looked worried. She was worried for _him_. No one else would get worried for him if not her or the members of his squad. Levi’s hand found her cheek and she seemed to be taken aback by that gesture. He didn’t have her used to showing any emotion or coming in contact. He never showed anything. It was the only way to protect himself. _Why_ was he even cupping her face now?

Levi pulled his hand away. “Let’s go,”

Nathalie watched him confusedly as he walked away. She couldn’t tell _where_ this had come from, but she couldn’t deny the heat that had started engulfing her cheeks. 


	12. Suspects

**The night of the 104 th Cadet Corp’s Graduation. **

The children were scared. Some of them had gone through the _hell_ back in Trost. Asking them _now_ whether they’d join the Scouts was a hopeless task. Everybody knew, of all Regiments, the Scouts were the ones with the most casualties and not many people saw any hope coming from the Expeditions beyond the Walls, so they had lost their faith in the Scouts.

It always angered Nathalie. She knew it probably angered Levi as well, and every other member in the Scouts. They were putting their lives on the line for the people who would glare at them when they’d pass through the streets after another bloody Expedition. Alas, there was nothing that Nathalie, or any other Scout could do to change the public opinion for them. And now these kids were given the opportunity to join a Regiment that promised _death_. Nathalie looked at the kids and she was sure most of them were going to disappear after the Commander’s speech.

Petra was standing beside her with the map in her hands. The Commander was hoping to lure the traitors out by giving them intel about the next mission. The intel was false, of course, but Commander Erwin never ceased to prove his ingenuity. 

“Good evening, I’m Erwin Smith, Commander of the Scout Regiment. The Scouts need you. We need all the warm bodies we can get. After the recent titan attack, you now know first hand the horrors of which they are capable, as well as the limits of your own skill. However, this battle’s aftermath gave humanity a new chance for victory. I refer to Eren Yeager. Eren didn’t just help to deter the titan invasion, he’s offered us a means to discern the truth of their origin. Intel suggests that the cellar of Yeager’s home in Shinganshina holds a vital secret regarding our enemy. We will form an Expedition to find this secret. Find it, and use it to break free from the titans’ tyrannical one-hundred-year reign for once and for all. But we must first retake Wall Maria. We will form an Expedition a month from now and members from tonight will be joining. Some of you are expected to lose your lives, but you should ask yourselves: are you ready to lay down your lives? Are you ready to lay everything for humanity?!”

 _Chills._ Nathalie sighed with a smile on her face. No matter their differences, Erwin was a Commander she was honoured to serve under. He had perfected the skill of _talking people into killing themselves._ Funny or not, he was the _ideal_ Commander for a Regiment such as the Scouts. The cadets had troubled expression on their faces, but she knew most of them were just scared.

“That is all. Those wanting to join other Regiments are dismissed,” Erwin finished.

“Commander, I think you have overly intimidated the cadets, sir,” Mike pointed out. Nathalie rolled her eyes. _You think?_ “None of them are gonna stick around,”

“We do not expect them to,” Nathalie said darkly. “Nobody just dives in their deaths,”

And she was proven correct when most of them started leaving. It was both a hard choice and an easy one. Thinking about their own skins was something that everybody did, but thinking about humanity as a whole? These would be considered dreamers of an impossible vision.

And thus, the kids started walking away. _No._ They were in a hurry to get out of there. Who would dive to death? For humanity? No one had the guts for that. Nathalie never joined the Scouts for the sake of humanity. She never gave a damn about humanity. Humanity wasn’t something that had treated her right. But she wanted to live free. She wanted to be able to live outside the walls and discover things they didn’t know.

There was so much out there. So much that they didn’t know. She didn’t want to die ignorant of the wonders of the world. What if there were any other people out there? The world would be too small if it was just them. These were the true reasons for joining the Scouts. The discovery of the truth. The reason of their suffering. A handful of cadets were still standing before them. Nathalie’s smile slightly grew. They weren’t many, but they were _something._

And then that _thought_ crept in. They were going to die if she did not lead them right. They were going to die because of _her_ if she failed to lead them in the next Expedition. She hadn’t realised how scary it must have felt for Levi all those years now that he was leading Furlan and Isabel to their deaths. She had never realised the responsibility and the burden that must have laid on Levi’s shoulders all those years, leading the Special Operations Squad in all these Expeditions. Nathalie knew the burden was big but she hadn’t experienced it first hand till _now._

“I ask you: if you were ordered to die, would you do it?” Erwin asked.

“We don’t want to die, sir!”

“Of course, let us hope that you do not, then. You who stayed, you are now one of us. Allow me to welcome you to the Scout Regiment. This is a genuine salute, soldiers. Together we give our hearts!”

Everybody saluted to that. Nathalie’s fist found her chest, same as her comrades all around her. The cadets were scared. They were terrified. All were, in every single year, in every graduation. Half of them would be dead by next month, but that wasn’t the point. Those cadets had managed to see past that. She felt proud of them. But if they were going to die, it would be her fault.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

**Next day, on the Cadets’ training.**

“Attention! I’m Section Commander Ness, and this girl is my horse, Chirette. Fair warning, Chirette is rather partial to pulling hair, so I’d watch out if you don’t wanna go bald. We’re glad to meet ya- Aahhh!! Stop that you freak! Can I get a hand here you guys?!”

Nathalie couldn’t even understand how the cadets were able to keep a straight face watching Section Commander Ness’s hair being munched on by his horse. Thankfully, she had come prepared when she learned that he’d be there to aid in the cadets’ training. She approached the man, who had been trying his best to push his horse off his head.

“Heyyy, Chirette, look what I got for you here,” Nathalie baited the horse taking out a corn on which she had made sure its hair were flying around in all their golden glory. They drew the horse’s attention right away, and she let go of her master’s hair.

“Ah! Thank goodness, Nathalie. I’m gonna end up bald if I keep it up like this,” Ness said sighing dramatically.

“Did you feed her? She seems hungry,” Nathalie pointed out as she watched the horse snatching the corn from her hand and swallowing it straight down.

“I just fed her!”

“Did you feed her enough, though?” Nathalie raised an eyebrow and by Ness’s hesitance, she could tell he hadn’t.

He sighed and grabbed Chirette’s reins guiding her away. “You take over, for now, Lieutenant, I’ll be right back,”

“Yes, sir,” Nathalie smiled triumphantly. The Commander’s orders were clear. _‘Get close to the cadets. I will assign you their training on anything they’ll need to know about titans. If you find anybody suspicious, report to me immediately’._

She turned at the cadets who were just standing there trying to keep a straight face. “I’m Lieutenant Nathalie Burgess, second in command of the Special Operations Squad and second in command of the Scouts’ Researching Department. Section Commander Ness and I have been assigned your training for your preparation for the next Expedition. I would like you all to state your full names starting from the right,”

“Reiner Braun, ma’am!” Said the tall blonde one. He seemed to be the oldest than the rest. She hadn’t heard the name _‘Reiner’_ before neither the last name _‘Braun’._ But then again, the people behind the walls were many, and similarly big was the variety of names, no matter how many things she’d been through with Levi in all parts of all Cities.

“Connie Springer, ma’am!” The short one said.

“Berthold Hoover,” Another name that Nathalie had never heard of. She could understand why she didn’t know Reiner’s, but this one too? Could it possibly be a coincidence? Nathalie shook her head. Maybe she was just being paranoid. There were so many people and so many cities, and towns, and villages, and she knew she couldn’t have _possibly_ been familiar with all the names that exist out there.

“Sasha Braus, ma’am,”

 _Ah, finally,_ a name that she had heard before.

“Mikasa Ackerman, ma’am!”

“Armin Arlert, ma’am!”

“Ah yes, I remember you two. I’m delighted to see you two are okay-”

“E- Excuse me, ma’am, if I may-” Mikasa tried to say and Nathalie could already tell what she was about to ask.

“Eren is well protected under the custody of Captain Levi. And as a second in command of the Scouts’ Researching Department, I assure you no experiments have started. None of the experiments that we have in mind involve harming him in any way or even threatening his life. Does that answer your question, soldier?” Nathalie asked raising an eyebrow as she watched the girl leave out a sigh of relief but not once losing her stance.

“Yes, ma’am! Thank you, ma’am!”

She wouldn’t blame Mikasa for worrying. She knew that both Mikasa and Armin had been childhood friends of Eren’s. He would be glad to know they had joined the Scouts and soon they’d be with him. Nathalie gave Mikasa a smile before she proceeded to the last two ones, Ymir and Jean Kirstein- _Wait! Ymir?! YMIR?!_ Her name was ‘Ymir’ with no last name. _‘Subjects of Ymir’_ were the words of the titan that had talked to Ilse.

Nathalie took out her notebook from her pocket with her pencil. Her eyes widened and she turned at the girl. “Can you spell that for me?”

Ymir didn’t seem very happy about that. Was she hiding something? She did as she was asked though and Nathalie noticed a slight tension in the air. She had to find out where it had come from.

“Do you know the origins of your name?” Nathalie asked and Ymir didn’t seem happy about that question either.

“I never met my parents, ma’am, I wouldn’t have known,” Ymir stated and it almost sounded like she was lying.

Nathalie wasn’t buying it. She had dealt with expert liars in the Underground or even above where she and Levi had worked with the greatest scums that the society had to offer. But she was a better liar herself. She placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder and she gave her the warmest smile she could fake.

“It’s alright, Ymir. Glad to have you with us,”

Nathalie pulled away from the girl and the tension had somewhat vanished. If the Commander’s assumptions were correct, then one, or two, _or even three_ of these kids were the ones who had killed her favourite test subjects. She intended in no way to let them get away with this. If she had to _scare_ them out of their hiding and pretending, then _so be it._ Of course, she did have to consider the fact they were probably trained and not scared easily.

“I’m very glad to meet you all, and I’d like to welcome you to the Scouts,” Nathalie started. “That said, I cannot promise that you will not be _beheaded_ during the next Expedition,”

Nathalie said stopping in front of Connie and looking at him straight in the eye. He was almost shaking. She shook her head. _Nah._ That one looked too scared and _acting_ scared was more difficult than acting to be anything else.

“Soldiers die. Good soldiers. Friends. All Scouts have had their fair share of friends being _devoured_ right in front of them,”

Sasha was shaking in terror too, and so did Berthold and Jean. Nathalie frowned. _Nothing yet._

“But I promise you, no death is pointless,” She could very much tell some of them doubted that.

They looked terrified by the very mention of the next Expedition. She sighed. They were not ready and none of them looked suspicious. Mikasa and Armin were Eren’s best friends and they just didn’t _feel_ like suspects.

“I know you’re all scared. I know that whatever I or Section Commander Ness do to prepare you, nothing can prepare you for an Expedition. But there is something out there or **_someone_** ,” Nathalie stood in front of Reiner. He wasn’t shaking. He wasn’t budging at all. He hadn’t tensed up from anything that she had said so far until she said this. She chose to repeat it and made sure she had seen correctly. “ ** _Someone,_** that we don’t know, and they cause our suffering. You all are here to help us figure out **_who_** that is, and how are we going to stop **_them_**. Is that clear, soldiers?”

 _Now that_ was suspicious. She could have sworn, Reiner and Berthold were sweating. As for Ymir, she was too far away to catch a glimpse of her face, but something told her she wasn’t the enemy here. Nathalie made a mental note to write their names on her notebook and send a letter to the Commander.

“Yes, ma’am!”

Nathalie smiled widely at the children, switching from dark and lethal, to kind and _welcoming._ “Alright, soldiers, follow me!” It was time for yet another lecture on titan biology.

Her favourite part.


	13. The Calm Before the Storm Pt. 1

The days passed, and the training of the rookies went smoothly and according to plan. The day of the 57th Expedition was slowly approaching, but _thank goodness,_ it wasn’t there yet. There were more important things at hand than the Expedition. Nathalie could not hold back the excitement. It helped mask the feelings of self-doubt that were slowly reaching for her. _No. No thinking_ about the Expedition.

She sighed as she looked at Levi’s ‘plan’ on the green table that rested on the wall. She did not like it. Cutting off Eren’s limbs?! _What the hell?!_ She knew Eren couldn’t possibly control his abilities, and until he learned, then transformed he could be dangerous to them, but that was taking it too far. But then she reminded herself she had done worse things to her test subjects than just cutting off limbs and tearing tissue apart.

“Sir! Ma’am!”

Both Nathalie and Levi turned and looked at the kid who stood in front of them. Nathalie gave him a smile and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Eren, how’s your day been?”

“Uh…” he didn’t expect such a question. “…it’s been fine, Lieutenant, thanks!”

“Get it together. I didn’t call him here so that you can babysit him,” Levi frowned and she crossed her hands turning at the grumpy Captain.

“If you had even bothered to read any psychology books, you’d understand that I’m not trying to babysit him, but merely calm him down before he hears about your crazy plan!” Nathalie explained and Levi sighed heavily. Eren never thought he’d see Levi get scolded by _anyone_ without having him dissecting them.

“That’s important, you know,” Hange pointed out. She had been sitting on top of a desk that laid on the side, with her thumb gently rubbing her chin. “We always keep the test subjects calm before experimenting on them,”

“Test subjects…? Experiment…??” Eren asked worriedly.

Nathalie cringed and fought the need to shoot Hange a glare. _Way to go, Hange._ Instead, she turned at Eren passing a hand around his shoulders and patting his back. “No, no, no, no, we’re not talking about you, sweetie-”

“Whatever,” Levi cut her. His voice had a slight touch of irritation. It almost felt like all those times when she’d tease the _hell_ out of him and he’d try his best not to react. Levi turned at Eren. “In your titan form, we may have some middle ground after all. A fail safe, if you will. The method I’ve come up with will only leave you mutilated. Well, at least, in theory. Essentially, we cut the entire nape from the body with you inside. Arms and legs will be severed during the process but… you’ll survive,” Levi shrugged.

“As a matter of fact, they’ll grow back up, so you absolutely have nothing to worry,” Nathalie said with a smile, but she knew she was failing at making Eren feel better by _pointing out the only positive thing in this._

“Creepy, little bastard,” Levi commented only to receive a smack on his shoulder by Nathalie.

“Hey!”

“W- Wait, hold on a sec. I’m not really sure how they do it, I mean, they might, but I don’t think it’s worth the risk if they won’t,” Eren said.

Poor kid looked scared to death and she wouldn’t blame him. No matter how much she wanted all that tissue and all those test samples from the severed limbs, Nathalie didn’t want to hurt Eren in any way.

“Oh, I see, so you’d only be up for this if there’s no risk involved whatsoever,” Levi said.

“U- Uh, n- no-”

“Then be prepared. We’re in the same boat. If you go on a rampage, you could kill us. So, we’re even,”

“Oh c’mon, give him a break. He’s scared,” Nathalie said.

“We all are!” Oluo cried out.

“You _always_ are scared, Oluo,” Nathalie rolled her eyes.

“What did you just-”

“No, it’s alright, Lieutenant. Captain Levi made a perfectly fair point,” Eren cut in and the Captain nodded.

“Just to be clear, we have the _go-ahead_ , right?” Hange asked with that smile on her face that she always got right before an experiment.

“We can’t afford not to run tests, so, yes, you two are good to run whatever twisted tests you want. Just try to keep him from going rogue right out of the gate,” Levi answered.

“Oh, no need to worry, we do have a plan,” Nathalie said.

Hange gasped and she stood up turning at Nathalie. “How about we use the _new thing_ on him?!”

“No! Dissecting him sounds far better than using the _new thing!”_ Nathalie cried out. It was a trap they had been working on. The Commander needed a way to be able to capture an _intelligent_ titan, and he was open to all suggestions. Hange and Nathalie had come up with the _new thing._

Hange took a moment to think about it before she sighed. “You’re probably right,” So many specimens would have died in her hands from her own recklessness if Nathalie wasn’t around to make such points. “We’ll go with the well-plan then!”

“The… well plan?” Eren asked confusedly.

“We’re going to put you into a well and you’re going to transform into it,” Nathalie explained simply.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“You’re ready down there, my dear?”

She, Levi, and Nathalie stared down at the well that was deep enough to keep Eren’s titan form underground. Eren was at the bottom, staring up at the three. The Levi Squad had gathered around on their horses and their ODMs ready for combat should anything go wrong.

“When we’re good to begin, I’ll fire off a smoke signal. What happens after that’s entirely up to you,” Hange said.

“Ready when you are, Commander!”

Nathalie cringed and Hange’s hand patted on her shoulders. “No worries, this well should hold him till he wears himself out. We’ll use Levi’s method only as a last resort,” Hange said and Nathalie nodded.

The three of them mounted their horses and moved away from the well. Hange fired a green smoke signal and all they had to do was wait. They waited for a minute. Nathalie realised she was more nervous about this than Eren himself. _Why hadn’t he transformed yet?!_ But then the idea struck her and she sighed.

“I don’t understand it. Perhaps he missed the signal?” Hange asked turning at Nathalie.

“I don’t think he can transform at will,” Nathalie suggested.

“Tsk, how naïve can we be,” Levi sighed as he urged his horse to approach the well, and the other two followed from behind. “Eren, enough! We’re done for today!” Levi cried out harshly.

They unmounted their horses and looked down at the well. “Did something go wrong, darling?” Hange asked until they reached the well and both she and Nathalie gasped. Eren’s hands were filled with bitemarks and blood flowing out of them.

“Oh shit!” There was no way he could grab on the rope stairs and climb up. Nathalie started preparing her gear to jump in.

“I- I’m so sorry, Captain. I don’t think I can do it now…”

“Out of the way!” Nathalie cried out, before Levi and Hange did as they were asked, and she jumped in the well, hooking herself on the wall to ease the impact of her landing. She landed beside Eren and cringed at the sight of the wounds on his hands. He was shaking, but it wasn’t for the pain. He was mostly disappointed in himself for letting down the Commander and the Captain.

“Petra! Get some bandages and a bottle of alcohol,” Nathalie heard Levi giving the order at Petra from the surface.

“Lieutenant, I-”

Nathalie approached him and she placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, Eren. We **will** figure it out. Let me just get you out of here,” Once again she’d have to carry him while using ODM. _Thank goodness_ he was light-weighed. She passed a hand around him before she shot the hook on another part of the well’s wall and pushed him and herself back up.

“Let’s get you patched up,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“You’re trying to tell me that the wounds on your hands show no sign of healing?!”

That was Levi’s voice coming more frustrated that he’d ever let it out to be. They had sat down outside of the Special Operations Headquarters on a wooden table where Nathalie had served tea and she was now trying to figure out what was going on with Hange.

“None, sir,” Eren answered.

“No offense, but you’re not much good to us in this form. If you can’t change, the Wall Maria plan will go up in smoke. Pull it together. And yes, that is an order,” Levi said harshly before he turned around and joined Hange and Nathalie to hear whatever the _hell_ it was that they were talking about.

“Maybe he’ll have to learn how to control that too,” Hange suggested.

“Makes sense. Both regenerating and transforming are involved to titan abilities, so if he can’t control the one, then he can’t control the other too,” Nathalie said.

“The question is, how do we train him?” Hange asked as she rubbed her chin with her thumb and thought hard for an answer.

Nathalie sighed. “Beats me. It’s not like there are books on the matter,”

“What if he lost the ability all of a sudden?” Levi asked taking a sip from his tea and sighing.

“That cannot be. It’s either something in his blood or something he inherited genetically by his parents, so losing that ability isn’t possible unless he either bleeds out or gets killed,” Nathalie explained.

“Being something that he’s inherited, sounds like a more solid explanation to me. I mean, think about the basic three laws of inheritance. When one holds an ability and it’s passed down to the future offspring, then that ability can either be-” Hange tried to say but then a large sound came and yellow lightning hit the sky.

The three of them turned around only to see titan smoke. Nathalie’s eyes widened. _No way. Did he just transform?_ Levi and Nathalie hurried towards the smoke right away. As it slowly started to wear off, Nathalie jumped on top of the carcass of a small part of a titan’s body, and she landed beside Eren who was struggling to pull his hands out of the skin. The steam was hot and so was the skin. Nathalie tried touching it, but it felt like a bad idea to touch it for long.

“Dammit, why now!” Eren cried out breathlessly as he tried to pull his hand out.

“It’s alright, it’s alright, let me help you,” Nathalie said as she knelt beside him and helped him pull his hand out.

“Calm down,” Levi’s voice came and Nathalie had to look down to see whether he was referring to Eren or Oluo, Petra, Eld, and Gunther who had gathered around the carcass with their swords drawn, ready to attack.

Nathalie let go of Eren and she raised her hands in surrender. “Guys! You need to fall back-”

“Nathalie! Get the hell out of there!” Petra cried out.

“You wanna get killed or something?!” Oluo cried out.

“The situation is complicated. Now, calm down,” Levi said turning at his soldiers and standing between them and Eren.

“Eren! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Eld cried out. “No one gave you permission to transform! Did they?!”

“Answer the question, Eren! What got into you?!”

“Explanations can come later! You need to persuade us that you’re not hostile like your life depends on it! Prove it or we’ll kill you!”

“Captain! Lieutenant! I need you two to step away! You’re too close!”

“Right now, I believe you’re the ones who need to step away,” Levi said. He didn’t seem to be doing a good job at convincing them. Nathalie jumped off the carcass and landed beside him.

“Why on earth-” Petra tried to talk but Nathalie caught her.

“He’s no longer transformed!”

“Eren better say something!”

“Prove you’re not hostile!”

“Don’t try anything!”

“I’ll kill you, I swear to God!”

“Stand down!” Nathalie cried out taking a step forward, standing between her comrades and Eren. “I know you’re all scared, but this squad’s built on trust and I need you to trust me and the Captain on this,” The shouting stopped, but they hadn’t withdrawn their swords back and Nathalie did not throw her guard down either.

That until Hange came running with Moblit trying his best to follow her from behind. “EREEEENNNN!”

Nathalie cringed. _Oh, no._

Hange pushed Gunther and Eld out of the way before she stood in front of the carcass, jumping around like a five-year-old child who had just been given a toy. “I wanna touch the arm. I WANNA TOUCH THE ARM!” She was almost drooling. “Pretty please! With sugar on top! LET ME TOUCH THIS GLORIOUS THING!”

“I don’t think it’s such a good-” Eren tried to say.

“Wait! Hange! No!” Nathalie rushed over to Hange to stop her. She was too late. Hange full-on touched the burning carcass, burning her palm and crying out in pain.

“OW! SON OF A BITCH! That muscle is HOT WITH NO SKIN! THIS IS THE BEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF SCIENCE!”

“YOU’RE A MANIAC! YOU KNOW THAT?! A MANIAC!”

Nathalie cringed as she watched Moblit scolding Hange whilst she didn’t even pay attention to him. She immediately turned around, completely ignoring the radiating pain from her burnt fingers, and she rushed over at Nathalie.

“ISN’T IT GLORIOUS?!”

“It is! But you need to calm down!” Nathalie tried to reason before Hange grabbed her shirt and started shaking her around.

“HOW CAN I CALM?!” Hange turned at Eren. “Are you not burning up?! How does it feel DESCRIBE IT TO ME! I wanna see how’s it connected to your hand! SHOW ME!”

Eren pulled his hand out of the carcass and Hange started whining about it, but something cut Nathalie’s attention. Nathalie patted Hange’s shoulder and she pointed at the spoon that the titan hand was still holding on to.

“OH MY GOD, LEMME SEE!”

Nathalie let Hange indulge herself with pulling it out of the titan hand, and she turned her attention at Eren who had knelt down breathless. Levi stood beside him and looked down at him.

“Sorry, Captain,”

“So, you’re feeling okay now or what?” Levi asked.

“No… not exactly…” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It took an entire afternoon of theory-crafting and coming up with conclusions that could’ve possibly explained why in the world Eren had transformed after touching such a simple thing as a spoon. There was only one conclusion. Eren didn’t necessarily had to hurt himself, but he needed a drive. A _will_ to do it. But he had come in contact with metal. The spoon was metallic. It seemed that the metal had some kind of reaction with his blood, even though, Hange wasn’t supporting that theory and they agreed they further looked into it after taking a few samples of his blood.

Nevertheless, Levi and Nathalie had agreed that they do the _talking._ Levi was going to talk to Eren and Nathalie was going to talk to all the others. They still seemed pretty shaken, but after Nathalie, with Hange and Moblit explained them exactly what had happened, they all agreed to apologise to Eren afterwards.

“Should I call them in?” Moblit asked, turning at the squad who had settled around the wooden table.

“Sure!” Hange nodded.

Nathalie and Hange had been scribbling down on their notebooks maniacally. The bone and the tissue, and the muscles of -even that small part of titan carcass that had emerged from Eren- were enough to run a number of tests. Nathalie smiled as she looked down at her notes, pleased. _First thing in the morning._

“How much of that shit did you take anyway?” Levi and Eren walked in.

“Enough to do the job!” Hange said.

“The samples are more than enough actually,” Nathalie said.

“We need to check out how much fireproof the tissue can be and what it is that makes it fireproof. That way we could create fireproof clothes,” Hange said excitedly and Nathalie scribbled down that idea as fast as she could. Hange turned at Eren and Levi and she cleared her throat. “Enough about that. Feast your eyes on this,” she took out the spoon and placed it on the table.

“But that’s… the spoon,” Eren said confusedly.

“Indeed. Your spontaneous titan arm wrapped into being on this, resting between the thumb and the index finger,” Hange said. “Of course, it can be coincidental, but this is something more. This utensil wasn’t worked by the heat nor by the pressure,” 

“The theory we work on is, that you need to come in contact with metal. That said, your hands were wounded, but even patched up, your bandages were still stigmatised by your blood. When the metallic spoon came in contact with your blood, then you turning into a titan was the reaction,” Nathalie explained. “Of course, this is still a theory. I hope you allow me to take a blood sample,”

Eren nodded. “Of course, ma’am,”

“Still, before assuming form, in all times he had a goal in mind. So, self-harming isn’t the only catalyst of transformation,” Hange said.

“I think you might be onto something but I… I transformed into a titan just to pick up a damn spoon?! It’s insane,” Eren sighed heavily.

Nathalie gave Gunther a look, and that’s when he knew, they needed to start apologising, and he was going to be the one starting it. Gunther sighed and turned at Eren. “So… uh… what I’m getting out of this is that what you pulled you haven’t been doing it on purpose,”

“No, sir,”

Oluo, Eld, Petra and Gunther exchanged looks before they started biting on their hands, harshly enough to hurt. Hange and Eren gasped, though Levi gave Nathalie a look letting her know that this was _her doing._ She actually convinced the four most stubborn soldiers he’d ever known to _actually_ apologise to the boy that they feared the most. Sometimes, Nathalie impressed him with what she could do, though, he always knew she was capable of so much more.

Levi tried his best to fight back a smile.

“Ow!”

“Kid, that hurts like a son of a bitch. Damn, kid, I’m impressed you can sink your teeth in that deep without shrieking,” Eld admitted.

“We made a judgement call today and it was wrong. Consider this our way of apologising. That is if you can find it in your heart to forgive us.” Gunther said with a smile.

“The fact is we were scared. That’s no excuse, I know. You’ve every right to be upset. Even though, we’re doomed if we can’t trust each other,” Petra said.

Nathalie gave Eren a smile. “That’s why, Eren, you’ll have to trust us, and we’ll have to trust you,” 


	14. The Calm Before the Storm Pt. 2

“Stop it! What’s the point of chastising Eren now? Give it a rest!”

“Listen, Mikasa, unlike you, the rest of us aren’t willing just to throw our lives away for him. We need a reason. The truth. We need to know why we are laying are lives down for,”

“You really need a reason? Is _humanity_ not a reason enough for you?” Nathalie’s voice came from behind. Everybody tensed up and saluted her as she entered the storeroom where everybody had gathered. She couldn’t help overhearing their conversation in the storeroom of the Survey Corp Headquarters.

The boy tensed up right away. Jean, was his name if she remembered correctly. “Lieutenant, with all due respect I meant no-”

“It’s alright, Jean,” Nathalie said and she gave him a smile. He wasn’t expecting such a response from her. He wasn’t sure what to say. Everyone seemed surprised by her reaction. “At ease, soldiers. You’re on a break, aren’t you?”

“B- But, Lieutenant-” Armin tried to say but Nathalie cut him.

“Call me, Nathalie or Nat if you prefer it that way, but make sure Captain Levi’s not around when you do,” Nathalie laughed and everybody seemed to calm down somehow. “Allow me to be honest with you all. When I first joined the Scouts, it was just an undercover job to get in their ranks and murder Commander Erwin,”

Everybody gasped on that. Once again Armin started wondering _why in the world_ would she spill that out publicly. What were the Scouts trying to achieve by this? 

“Of course, nothing went as planned and then I joined the Scouts for real no matter the terrors that I had seen first-hand,” Nathalie explained as she sat on a wooden box beside Sasha. “So, you can say, I didn’t have a reason to lay down my life until I went out there and saw it for myself,”

“Alright, then. Enlighten us,” Jean said and she raised an eyebrow. _This one’s got guts._

“I grew up in the Underground District. Imagine how I felt when I first rode out of the Walls. I felt free. It’s not just the titans. There’s something out there that causes our pain. We’re trapped in here, behind the walls, living in terror, not knowing when they will strike again and kill our comrades, our friends, our families. They devour and dissect people who have done nothing to deserve it. We’ve done nothing wrong to be terrorised like this…” She looked up at Jean who seemed to be getting her point. “…can you bear to sit back and watch and do nothing to end this injustice?”

Jean gritted his teeth. “No,”

Nathalie smiled as she stood back up and she looked in the eyes of the rest. They all seemed to be reconsidering it. “Can you?” They all shook their heads and Nathalie gave them a smile. “Do not worry about tomorrow. I will be leading you. We’re all going to survive after this. I give you my word,”

Nathalie said reassuringly, even though she did not weigh the meaning of her words. She didn’t want to. She would have enough time until tomorrow to sink in _self-doubt_. She turned at Eren.

“Eren, a word, please,”

Eren nodded. “Yes, ma’am,” He followed her as the two of them strayed a little bit further away from the others. Once she made sure the others wouldn’t hear them, she crossed her hands against her chest.

“I can’t imagine how it must feel, but suddenly the entire world’s fate lies on your shoulders…” She placed a hand on his shoulder “…this is a burden that no one should be asked to carry,”

“It’s alright, Lieutenant Nathalie. I’ve been wanting to help in the fight against the titans ever since I was a kid. You were right about what you said before. We’ve done nothing to deserve being terrorised like this,” Eren gritted his teeth. She saw that _fire_ in his eyes. He was angry. He had every right to be. “I want to kill every single titan out there. I want to end this nightmare,” he said determinedly.

Nathalie gave him a smile. “You will,” Her hand reached for his hair, stroking them and messing them up slightly. The furious expression on his face disappeared replaced by a cringe. “But for now, we just need to prove that you can control it. After that, I promise you, we’ll let you loose and you can kill as many titans as you wish,” Nathalie laughed, and soon, Eren too cracked a smile. 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

**The Night Before the 57 th Expedition Beyond the Walls. **

“Are you alright?” Petra’s voice came from beside her, finally snapping her out of her thoughts.

Nathalie bit her tongue when she looked down and she realised she had yet to eat her soup. She looked around. All the others had eaten and Gunther was gathering their bowls to take them to the kitchen. Eren had already retreated for sleep after Petra insisted that he rested well for the Expedition the next day.

The time had finally come. Nathalie hadn’t even noticed her hands were slightly shaking. _Fuck._ She had to get it together. Sure, it was her first time to _lead_ but something told her she could do this. They had studied Erwin’s plan with Levi again and _again._ It was simple and brilliant. She had been working with Hange tirelessly coming up with new traps that could capture the most intelligent titan. Lots of work had been put for the Expedition _tomorrow_ and they were ready, but she knew a wrong move would bring the deaths of so many people. Nathalie groaned and let go of her spoon, burying her face in her hands.

“Just tired. No need to worry,” It was the only excuse she could come up with.

“Well, I’d know I’m fucked up too if I had to lead a bunch of rookies to their graves,” Oluo said.

Nathalie fought back the need to glare at him. _Insensitive_ as always, but he was right. She was going to _fail,_ wasn’t she? The others didn’t know the actual plan, but they knew she wouldn’t be joining them because she’d have to be the Captain of the cadets from the 104th Cadet Corp that had just joined the Scout Regiment.

“I’d watch my mouth, if I were you. Lieutenant Nathalie is more than capable to lead,” Petra scolded him.

“True. Commander Erwin had requested she led her own squad, long before we joined the Scouts,” Eld said.

Oluo sighed. “What wouldn’t I give to lead my own squad,”

Levi’s hand caught her own and stopped the incessant shaking. Nathalie bit her tongue as she looked up at him. “Leading a squad isn’t the same as following orders,” Levi finally spoke. “It comes with responsibility. Responsibility that one must be ready to accept,” Levi pulled his hand away.

 _Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious._ Nathalie sighed deeply.

Petra’s hand found her shoulder. “C’mon, if anyone’s skilled enough to keep them safe is you. Captain Levi’s trained you. He’s trained all of us,” She said with a smile.

That somehow made her feel better. Nathalie gave Petra a smile and she nodded. Surviving all these years meant that she was good at combating the titans. If anything, Nathalie and the Levi Squad had the best teacher around.

“How about we lighten up with some tea?” Gunther walked in with a tray, carrying cups filled with tea.

Levi’s lips almost curled up into a smile. “Best idea I’ve heard today,”

They fell silent upon enjoying the tea, but Levi could tell, that the smile on her face was a forced one when Oluo would spill out something stupid and Petra would scold him for it. They were all skilled. Levi had made sure none of them would die on his watch. He had taught them all he knew. They weren’t called ‘Special Operations Squad’ for nothing.

Levi watched them as they talked and laughed and sipped on their tea. It almost reminded him back in the Underground when he, Isabel, Furlan and Nathalie would gather and talk nonsense whilst drinking the tea that he made for them.

Levi tasted the bitterness of that memory, but then he looked at the others that reminded him of those _two,_ and then he knew, that no matter what, they had to come back after this one. They had been through a couple of Expeditions and they had survived them all. Even with Nathalie missing from the group, she would be in the safest position.

Erwin had made sure in his plan -the _actual_ plan- that the rookies would be in safe positions. Nathalie would just be there to guide them, so when he was told the plan, Levi did not bother arguing. He was relieved that she wouldn’t be with them. The Levi Squad will be the one protecting the _bait. Eren._

“Alright, whose turn was it to wash the dishes?” Petra asked.

Oluo groaned as he stood up. “I think it’s mine,”

“Nathalie and I will take care of the dishes,” Levi said and Nathalie raised an eyebrow. _Oh c’mon._ “You four go get some rest,”

Oluo teared up as he turned at Levi “I love you so much, Captain,” He said gratefully and Gunther laughed giving his shoulder a friendly punch.

“You lucky son of a bitch,”

“Hey! Careful how you’re referring to my mom!”

Petra laughed before the four of them greeted the other two goodnight and walked out of the room leaving them alone. Nathalie stood up and started gathering the cups on the tray.

“You just want to talk to me, don’t you?” She asked him as he watched her. Her hands reached for the tray to pick it up and carry it back to the kitchen and wash the cups. Levi’s hand found her shoulder and he stopped her.

“I’ll take this,” He offered, before picking up the tray and carrying it to the kitchen sink.

Nathalie followed him and before she had the chance to pull back her sleeves, he was already washing the dishes. She grabbed a towel and she started drying them off and placing them back in their shelves. She always got that feeling of her stomach churning and twisting before an Expedition. Not many soldiers were lucky enough to come back. She wasn’t going to be with the squad, and Levi and the others were going to act as bait. What if something happened to them? What if something happened to Levi? She wouldn’t be there to help. She wouldn’t be with them.

“Oi,” Levi’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She realised he had finished washing the dishes and she still had a few cutleries to dry and place in their shelves. “Don’t think too much. You’re going to do fine tomorrow. I didn’t teach you to fail,”

She let go of the towel and she rested both hands on the kitchen counter. “Is this… how you feel all the time?” All these doubts, and all these scenarios of failure. She was new at this, but he wasn’t. His best friends had died and the fault was entirely his own, and if his squad died tomorrow, that fault would again be _entirely_ his own. He didn’t know if he could bear it and he didn’t care.

If he felt like cutting off his wrists should he fail again, then _so be it._ There was always nothing he could do to protect the people that he cared about. So, he accepted it. They were all going to die one day. _It just how it is._ The members of his squad were going to die one day too. If not tomorrow, then some other time and that’s how it went with everyone.

But then it was Nathalie whose death he could not imagine. She wasn’t going to be with him tomorrow but he was relieved. She was going to be safe. But the death of his comrades would still be close and a wrong move from his part could end their lives. He had learned living with this. Maybe that’s why there was always that dead, indifferent expression on his face, shutting everybody out.

He had let Nathalie in and sometimes he wondered how _dare_ he let himself do that? There was no room for attachments. Not in _this world._ _Emotions_. He _despised_ _them._ Yet he had still bonded with his comrades all these years. He had still bonded with Nathalie and it _terrified_ him. Yet, that indifferent expression never let go of his features when all he wanted to do was _cry out_ and _punch_ a hole against a wall.

“Yes,”

That’s how he felt. Trapped in a cage that he himself had built. Trapped and screaming, trying to break free, and the more he tried, the deeper he sank in his doubts, the agony and the guilt. He was suppressing it all, and she knew it. Whenever she’d try to speak about it, he’d just change the subject or he’d just leave the room. He could face the wildest creatures, but he could not face _himself_.

“It’s just how it is,” Levi said bitterly. “You either learn how to live with it or die of guilt,” He approached her and his hand found her cheek. He liked that she no longer got startled by having him cupping her face. Instead, her hand found his own and supported it on her face, lacing their fingers together. “You don’t have to worry about us tomorrow. You don’t have to worry about the rookies either. They’re going to be safe. You’ll only be there to make sure of that,”

“I don’t have to worry about you?!” Nathalie finally burst out. “You’re going to be the bait! You’ll be having an intelligent titan on your tail. How am I supposed not to worry?! What if something happens to you and I’m not there to-” Nathalie stopped talking when he hugged her.

She didn’t linger on _why_ he was hugging her so tight, forcing their bodies to press against each other. She needed that hug more than she had realised. Her own hands slipped around his shoulders without permission and she buried her face in his neck. She felt his fingers tangling into her hair and pressing her close. His cheek found her temple and his breath brushed warmly against her ear. His other hand tightened around her waist. He knew she’d be worried for him and the others. She was right. She wouldn’t be with them, but she’d be somewhere safer than them and that was all that he cared about now.

“Let _me_ worry about myself and the others,” He said.

“Stop asking me to let you do everything on your own,”

 _Indeed._ From the very first moment they had met, he had tried to get rid of her and just face this life _alone_ even though they both knew that he wouldn’t have made it _alone_ all these years. It was that one thing that he couldn’t _fight_ against. Alone, his thoughts were just _too_ _loud_. Her fingers clutched on his shoulders and she shut her eyes.

Levi just pursed his lips and closed his eyes burying his nose in her hair and sighing deeply. There was nothing that he could say to this. They could die tomorrow. They could die the day after tomorrow too. But no one was in danger just yet. And he only wished this moment would never end because he was holding her and he knew she was safe there, with _him._ His hands tightened slightly around her. He didn’t want to let go and something told him that she didn’t either, but they had more chances of survival after a good night’s rest. She had to rest and wake up with a clear mind for the next day, even though he knew, he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Just like _all those nights before._

Levi pulled back. His hand found her face as he guided her close enough to press a kiss on her forehead. “We need to rest,” He reminded her and she nodded.

“Alright,”


	15. The 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, y'all!!! Just wanna let you know, thank you so much for all those awesome comments and all those kudos!!! All this awesome support really helps me to continue this story!!! Just letting y'all know that without your support, this story wouldn't be half as good ahaha 😘❤
> 
> So, people have been asking me about Nathalie's looks, and I realised, you guys are right! I don't really explain exactly how she looks like 😂 I gave it a little bit of research and I found a _perfect_ fanart on Pinterest. Sadly, I don't know who the artist is, so if you do happen to know them LET ME KNOW RIGHT AWAY so that I can give them all the credit! I took that fanart and played around with it on Photoshop, changing her shirt, and adding Nathalie's glasses. I hope you like her! Lemme know if you do in your comments! _God, I hope the link works_ 😅 
> 
> (If you're on PC just right-click on the icon below and press "Open Image in new tab" from the menu. If you're on phone, just press on the icon until the menu shows up and select again "open image in new tab". I hope it'll work for you this way!! Lemme know if it doesn't!) 

The next day dawned, but Nathalie had woken up before the sun had the chance to reveal itself from behind the tallest mountains of the horizon. She woke up with a gasp and sweat drenching her clothes and pillow. She instantly pushed the bedsheets away, allowing the night breeze that entered through the window to caress her sweaty skin. Her fingers clenched as she urged herself to sit on the edge of her bed. She wiped the sweat off her forehead with her sleeve only to realise her hand was shaking.

She groaned and buried her face in her hands. She had no time for mental breakdowns. She’d get them every morning before the start of every Expedition. But this time, this Expedition was different. The 57th Expedition had finally arrived, and even though it was still a few hours away, her hands still shook and her sleep was unceremoniously interrupted once more.

The worst-case scenarios started playing in her head, and she instantly knew she was going to fail _today._ Those kids were going to die because of her. Their families were not going to see them again and she’d have to face each and every one of their relatives to explain _why_ she had failed to bring them back.

That was _it_. She wondered whether Levi was feeling the same. She wondered whether Levi would wake up in the nights and think of _failing_ to bring Eld back to his wife. Gunther, back to his parents. Petra, back to her beloved, and Oluo, back to his little siblings. They had done nothing to live in terror like this. She should have never accepted the Commander’s suggestion. Sometimes she even wondered how Erwin felt leading an entire Regiment.

She sighed heavily and she stood up. She had no idea what she was doing, but she grabbed her robe around her, and she walked out of her room. She stood outside of Levi’s and she tried knocking but realised the door wasn’t closed. She wasn’t afraid to face him. It wasn’t the first time she’d check up on him while he slept.

She was still hesitant about walking in, though. He wasn’t going to _shout_ at her for being there, but she still didn’t want to interrupt his sleep, even though, she had a feeling he wasn’t sleeping either. She pushed the door open slowly, only to see him sitting at the edge of his own bed. His face, buried in his hands and his fingers tangled into his sweaty hair. The early morning light barely entered through the window. She knew he too wasn’t sleeping and he too was having that same mental breakdown that she’d woken up with.

How can anybody sleep the night before an Expedition?

Maybe she was right. Maybe he did suffer like this before every single Expedition. Nathalie approached him. She knew he wouldn’t _scream_ at her or push her away. She was probably the only person he’d never push away, for the simple reason that he had _tried_ and _failed._

But he knew it was her. He had recognised the gentle patting of her footsteps on the wooden floor. No one else would be awake at this hour. But he could still tell she was hesitant to reach him. He didn’t want her to be. She was the only person he could trust to watch him while he doubted himself and collapsed with the impending guilt that such an Expedition would bring on his shoulders. It wasn’t like all the other Expeditions. The Commander expected things that they hadn’t faced before. No matter how much of a good training he’d given his comrades and Nathalie, he knew _everything_ could go wrong, and if it did, it would be _his_ fault.

Nathalie stepped in front of him. Her hand hesitantly reached for his hair. They were a tangled, sweaty mess, and his breathing, uneasy, just like how her own was before, when she woke up. She didn’t care. Both her hands reached for his hair. He urged her to take another step closer when his arms slipped around her waist tightly, and he buried his face in her belly.

Levi closed his eyes. His breathing slowly matched her own, and he relaxed by the soft stroke of her fingers in his hair. He had jumped off the bed. Another sleep interrupted by nightmares. He could only assume she had done the same, but he was nothing but relieved to have her there. He buried his face in her belly and he sighed in her warmth. Her hands wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his hair, his shirt.

“I take it you couldn’t sleep either,” Nathalie said and he nodded.

He didn’t want to say anything more. He just wanted her to hold him. His fingers just clutched on her robe and he shut his eyes. He couldn’t convince himself that they were all going to come back after this Expedition, but the only thing that consoled him, was the fact that Nathalie was going to be with the rookies, and the rookies were in safe positions during the entirety of Erwin’s plan. That was the only consolation he could cling onto.

“Nat,” He pulled back to look up at her.

Her hand let go of his hair and reached for his cheek. Her thumb slipped gently on his cheekbone and her eyes met his own. She wasn’t wearing her glasses. He was sure she had placed them on the small table in her room. She looked down at him and for once he didn’t have that dead, indifferent expression on his face. He wasn’t wearing that _mask_ that he always wore when he was around people. _Now,_ he was scared. An emotion she had rarely ever seen on him.

He didn’t give a _damn_ whether he’d die out there either trying to see the mission through, or trying to protect his comrades. He always cursed himself being the one who had to survive whilst all the others around him would die. But he stopped thinking about all these when he looked up, and his eyes met her own. She was giving him a compassionate smile, one that let him know she was feeling the same. For the first time, _his_ Nathalie was going to lead her own squad and for once, she could understand the burden that he carried on his shoulders all these years.

He didn’t want to lose any more people. He just wanted this nightmare to end. That’s why he was fighting. That’s why, even through all those times that he’d crush on a wall and pull his hair out because of his job, he was still sticking around to see the fight through to the end.

Nathalie leaned down and pressed a kiss on his forehead. He had to close his eyes and revel in it, no matter how little time he had left with her and he didn’t even know whether it’d be the last.

“I cannot convince neither you nor myself that we’ll make it out of this,” Nathalie knew that trying to say something to make them both feel better was a hopeless task. There was nothing good that she could think of saying.

Nathalie just sighed and tried to pull away and walk back to her room, to let him get changed. Maybe some tea too was in order. But his hands were still tight around her and he did not allow her leave just yet.

“Stay,” Levi said, and that was the last thing that Nathalie expected to come from him. She didn’t try to think of what exactly he might’ve meant, but the two of them only had each other and it had been like this since the very beginning. She was the only person he’d ever ask that of her.

Nathalie smiled and her fingers found his hair again. “Always,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

 _Jean, Armin, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, Krista, Ymir, Reiner, Berthold…_ Nathalie tried her best to remember their names. She couldn’t think about last names at the moment, but they were not going to be needed. She looked at them all as they pulled their horses from the stables. They were all in their uniforms, with their ODMs and the green cloaks with the Wings of Freedom on the back. They were ready.

Their very first Expedition. She only hoped it would go smoother than her own first Expedition.

“Everybody ready?” Nathalie asked as she watched the last one, Sasha, stepping in with her own horse and a potato in her hand. Nathalie could have sworn, she reminded her of Isabel.

“Yes, ma’am!” Reiner said.

“Sasha! What the hell are you doing?! You’re not supposed to be eating right now!” Jean scolded her. Jean, Connie, and Sasha seemed to be the three best friends standing beside each other.

Connie placed a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “Relax, Lieutenant Nathalie’s cool,”

“How can you know that?!” Jean asked and Nathalie chuckled drawing their attention.

“Oh boy, are you stubborn,” Nathalie said as she approached the three. Her hand reached for the potato that she had stored in her bag. It was supposed to be her breakfast, but Nathalie never felt the need to eat anything before an Expedition. “What have I been explaining yesterday?” Jean opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t really come up with something. “Here,” Nathalie handed her potato to Sasha who had just _devoured_ her own.

Everybody gasped in surprise. Sasha had gotten _massively_ scolded about eating when a superior was around, and now Nathalie was actually handing her food as if she was her _mom_. Even Sasha found it hard to react right away.

“But… ma’am, I-”

“It’s been salted too,” Nathalie raised an eyebrow and before she even knew it, the potato was off her hand and into the girl’s mouth. She fought the need to laugh and she turned at the others. “I can’t expect any of you to fight on an empty stomach,” She trapped her hands behind her back and she passed in front of everyone who had been standing on a line with their horses. “Once we’re out of the Wall, we’ll ride our separate ways when the Commander says so. After that, you’ll follow me, _no matter what_ , is that clear, soldiers?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

She wasn’t going to give any clues about the actual plan, but she was still going to make it clear to them, that things could go _downhill_ any second. “Alright,” Nathalie mounted her horse and so did the others. “Let’s go, soldiers!” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“It’s officially began! The 57th Recon Mission! Scouts! Move out!”

Everybody followed the Commander’s orders as they rode out of the gate in Trost District, and met the ruins of what must have been a village five years back. The Levi Squad was up ahead, and Hange’s 4th Squad was behind the Commander, alongside Mike’s squad. Nathalie’s squad was at the back. Sasha was riding on one side of Nathalie and Jean was on the other.

“We’ve got a ten-metre closing in on the left!” Hange cried out. The support squad was already on its way to take it out.

The members of Nathalie’s squad couldn’t help looking as the titan smashed one of the support squad’s members. “Soldiers!” Nathalie drew their attention. “Taking it out it’s _their_ job, yours is to focus ahead!”

They finally rode out in the open. The ruins of the village ceased, and the Commander gave the order. “Long-range formation! Let’s go!”

“Soldiers, follow me!” Nathalie ordered as she led her horse away from the rest of the Scouts and rode to the right. The others followed her closely from behind. She turned and gave them a look, making sure they were all there and that they were all safe. Section Commander Ness was nearby with two more members of his own squad. He was going to take Ymir, Krista, Reiner, and Berthold.

“I’ve got them, Captain!” Ness cried out from beside and Nathalie turned and watched at the four as they followed Section Commander Ness’s squad. Nathalie would never get used to being called a _Captain._ “Good luck!”

“Good luck to you too, Commander,” Nathalie gave him a salute before she turned at the other five who were riding behind her. She made sure she slightly slowed her horse down and she reached beside them. “Now, forget _everything_ about the plan. We ride straight for the forest,”

Everybody gasped. “Wait, what?!” Jean cried out.

“You mean… the plan…” Armin tried to say but Nathalie cut him.

“You’ve got your orders, soldiers!”

Nathalie did not say anything more. She knew they were confused, but they needed to know, and splitting up the team was a last-moment change in the plan. She had sent a letter requesting it by the Commander herself. She was probably being paranoid, but the Commander trusted her judgement, and placed Reiner, Berthold, Ymir, and Krista under the leadership of Section Commander Ness. 

And then she heard the familiar thudding on the ground. Nathalie turned around only to see an abnormal heading their way. She gritted her teeth. The children all tensed up as they watched the abnormal heading towards them.

“Split up!” Nathalie cried out. “Mikasa, Jean, Armin on the right, the rest of you with me on the left! I’ll take care of the titan,”

They did as they were asked, splitting into two rows and the titan crawled in the middle, chasing the ones on the right. It was too focused on Mikasa, Armin, and Jean. Nathalie sent a hook on the top of its head. She drew herself up, taking out its eyes, before she hooked herself on the back of its nape, and cut it off. She couldn’t be as fast as Levi, but all these years, his harsh training always paid off.

Nathalie landed back on her horse and the carcass of the titan was left back. She turned at the other five, who seemed both terrified and relieved. She counted them. “Everybody okay?!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Captain!” Armin cried out. “Section Commander Ness said we’d be dealing with normals, that one was abnormal,”

“Section Commander Ness wasn’t lying,” Nathalie answered. “But there’s still a chance we’ll encounter _all kinds_ of titans out here,” Before she even knew it, she heard a scream. Nathalie immediately turned around only to see Sasha being grabbed by a titan that seemed to have outrun them.

“Sasha!” Connie cried out.

“Everybody, keep moving!” Nathalie jumped off her horse, sending a hook on the titan, cutting off its arm with both her swords and urging it to let go of Sasha. Connie stayed but and helped her back up on her horse before they continued running. They watched as Nathalie cut off the back of its nape. Another one was coming from behind and she didn’t seem to have noticed it. Jean gritted his teeth as he turned his horse and he approached her.

“Captain!” He cried out and Nathalie turned her attention at the titan that had crushed on the ground. She didn’t hesitate. She did wonder how in the world it had crushed down, but that was a question to be answered afterwards. She cut off its nape landing on its back only to see Jean and Mikasa standing beside the cut ankles of the titan.

Nathalie smirked. “Good job, soldiers,” They mounted their horses. Nathalie whipped the reins and she urged it to start moving again.

They rode out in the open for a few more minutes. Nathalie tried her best to make sure everybody was safe and no titans were onto them. Then, black smoke came from the other side of the valley. They all watched it with unease. It meant abnormals were nearby. No matter the situation, they had to keep moving.

Commander Ness could be seen with the rest of the cadets and his two veteran Scouts. A blonde-haired titan was heading towards them. Nathalie gasped. It was exactly as Erwin had predicted. It ran towards them at a speed unlike no other titan she had ever seen. Section Commander Ness and the other two veteran Scouts seemed to struggle to fight it and protect the other cadets. 

“What is this?! An abnormal?!” Connie asked confusedly.

“Whatever it is, it’s bad!” Sasha cried out. Sweat rolled down her forehead. Eyes wide in terror.

“Captain!” Jean cried out. “It’s going to kill them!”

“We need to help them!” Mikasa gritted her teeth. She was just about to switch direction and ride to their side but Nathalie stopped her.

“No!” Nathalie cried out. “We maintain our current course. This abnormal is Section Commander Ness’s job to deal with,”

“But it’s going to kill them!” Connie cried out.

“Captain! We need to do something!” Jean cried out.

Nathalie groaned. She didn’t want to do something she regretted. One of the cadets under Ness’s leadership were spies that they could get information from. If the Female Titan worked with them, she wasn’t going to kill them, but Krista hadn’t given her any reason to suspect her, and Ymir had information that could be more than useful to them. As to the methods of extracting that information, Nathalie was more than good at _pulling nails off_.

“Jean! Mikasa! You go for the legs. Split the ankles open like you did before. I’ll go for the eyes. I’ll be drawing its attention. Make sure to be quick,” Nathalie instructed.

“Yes, ma’am!”

Nathalie only hoped she wasn’t going to regret that choice. Keeping the graduates safe was her main objective. The others were graduates too. She changed the course of her horse and they all rode straight for the abnormal and Section Commander Ness’s team. His two soldiers were already lying down dead. The Female Titan grabbed Ness by his ODM cables and swung him around, crushing him on the hard ground. Nathalie's fingers clenched around the reins of her horse. Another dead soldier. Another friend, gone.

“That’s not an abnormal, that titan’s showing intelligence… like the Colossal… like Eren… It’s a human being controlling it, isn’t it?!” Armin cried out panicked. 

Nathalie had to hand it to him. The kid was smart. There was no way she could fight that thing with the rookies around. She’d have too much to worry about, but there was still no way she could fight this alone. The other cadets were still riding on their horses, trying their best to get away, but it was approaching. Nathalie’s squad reached it quickly. Jean and Mikasa went for the ankles, as ordered. It moved its legs and shook them away.

Nathalie tried to go for the head anyway. She hooked herself on its chest, but she knew the hand would come right at her. She tried to be as fast as Levi had shown her. She stabbed the sword onto its skin and ran as fast as she could, cutting its skin all the way to the shoulder. Its other hand reached for her, but she hooked herself on its temple. She headed straight for the eyes, but it caught her by the cables of her ODM and tossed her away.

She could only watch as she was being tossed away and the members of her squad were trying to attack it and defend themselves. Their screams reached their ears and her back finally crushed on the ground, harshly enough to knock her breath out of her chest.

Her hand reached shakily for her head, touching the slick, hot blood as it rushed out of her skull. She looked at her blood on her fingers. Her whole body was in pain, her squad was in danger, and she had failed.

She gritted her teeth. Her fingers clenched. There was no way she was giving up already. 


	16. The 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls Pt. 2

Armin could only look down although he knew his comrades were nowhere near him. They had been tossed away, just like the Captain, and he was the only one on his knees nearby the Female Titan that showed intelligence unlike no other. He was unable to move. His whole body shook. His sweat run cold down his forehead. He hadn’t even noticed his horse had been stepped on. The only thing he could focus on was the titan as she knelt beside him and pulled back his hood.

How in the world would she know how to do that? Was it indeed a person controlling this? Was she really someone he knew?

Her blue eyes stared down at him. He could not react. He just looked back up at her in terror. Why in the world had she not eaten him yet?! Did she recognise him? Did she need him for something?

Nevertheless, she stood back up and she let go off his hood. She had pulled it back to see his face. Why would she do that?! “Armin!” Jean cried out as he hooked himself on the back of the Female Titan. Her hand reached for him, trying to toss him away like an insect. Jean hooked himself on her thigh, then back again close to her nape, but she covered her nape with her hand. Jean’s eyes widened. She was protecting her weak spot?! Then Armin was right. She _was_ intelligent, and somebody was controlling her from the inside.

Mikasa stood back up on her feet whilst Connie and Sasha were keeping an eye on horses. She hooked herself on its chest, heading for the eyes. The Female Titan’s attention fell on dodging her away, and at the same time, Reiner went straight for the nape, right before the Female Titan grabbed him tightly in her fist, crushing him like a fly.

“Reiner!” Connie cried out, but the Female Titan’s fingers were cut off by the blades of their Captain.

Nathalie grabbed Reiner’s hand pulling him out of the fist of the titan. She hooked herself on its back, stopping their impact to the ground slightly. “Captain!” Mikasa cried out and once they both landed on the grass, Reiner headed straight to pick up Armin.

“She doesn’t seem to have the appetite for humans, so I’m guessing she’s not going to follow us!” Reiner cried out.

“On you horses, soldiers! We gotta get the hell out of here!” Nathalie cried out and everybody did as they were asked.

Nathalie looked back as they all mounted their horses and started riding away and made sure everybody was there. But somebody was missing. She turned at Mikasa. “Where’s Ymir, Krista and Berthold?!”

“Right here, Captain,” Ymir’s voice came from behind as the three of them approached them on their horses. “An abnormal was on its way, we split up and took care of it,”

Nathalie turned and looked at the carcass of the titan that was left behind and she nodded at the girl. “Impressive, soldiers. I’m glad you’re alive. The right Wing of spotters has been wiped out,” She informed them.

“But that’s where she came from!” Armin pointed out as they watched the Female Titan running away.

“A large number of titans ambushed the right wing. It must have been her doing,” Nathalie said.

“Then that means…” Armin tried to say but Connie cut him.

“She can’t be possibly controlling the titans, can she?!”

“If that’s the deal, then we’re screwed!” Sasha added.

“How the hell are we supposed to fight that thing?!” Jean gritted his teeth.

“It’s not our job to fight this thing, our job is to go somewhere safe,” Nathalie said.

“But what if it’s heading for Eren?!” Mikasa asked worriedly.

“Then the Levi Squad is more than capable of handling her. They’ve agreed to put their lives on the line to protect him, but the rest of you, for now, need to stay put somewhere safe. Do I make myself clear, soldiers?!” Nathalie cried out and they nodded.

“Yes, ma’am!”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Erwin’s _shitty_ plan was going accordingly. Levi fought once again the need to frown as they rode on their horses at full speed. The brat was behind him and his team was all around him, keeping him protected. The last thing he wanted was for his team to die because of a brat. Alas, this brat was the only chance that humanity had against the titans.

A messenger came from another squad, approaching him with his horse. “Captain Levi, sir! An oral message! It appears the Right-Wing Spotters have been wiped out. The early warning network has been compromised. One of you will need to relay the message down the line!”

 _Ah shit._ Erwin had predicted _everything,_ hadn’t he? Levi turned at Petra who was riding behind him. “You heard the man, Petra. Go on,” he gave the order.

“Yes, sir!”

Still, Nathalie’s squad was supposed to be positioned nearby that direction. His grasp on the reins slightly tightened. Nathalie’s skills were exceptional. He himself had made sure of that. No matter how intelligent the person controlling that titan might have been, there was no way it would have killed her. If there was someone in the Scouts who could fight that thing, was her and the Special Operations Squad. It was no wonder Erwin had assigned her the protection of the rookies. Alas, he couldn’t keep himself from slightly gritting his teeth on the thought of something happening to her.

If it wasn’t for his position as a Captain of the squad that was supposed to protect the _bait_ , he would’ve turned back to find her. He would gladly defy all orders to make sure she was okay. But for now, all he could do was hope that by the time they’d return back and finish the mission, he wouldn’t find her corpse lying abandoned on the ground.

 _No._ There was no way he could ever let anything like this happen. There was no way he could have a repeat of five years ago. But if they lost the kid that he was supposed to protect, then that _nightmare_ of a life was never going to end.

He only hoped he’d see her on their way in on the forest.

Then black smoke emerged from the other side of the valley. “Eren! Fire the signal!” Levi ordered.

“Y- Yes, sir!”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

She knew the kids were confused about the plan. She had indeed told them to forget all about it, but Reiner, Berthold and Ymir were around so the others didn’t say a word. Jean tried to open his mouth and speak and Armin stopped him right away. Armin was beginning to understand what was going on. It was the only way it would all make sense. Once, Reiner, Berthold, and Ymir were separated from them, Nathalie told them just that.

 _“Forget everything about the plan, we head straight for the forest,”_ Which meant the Commander had a reason not to trust some of the Scouts and thus he gave them the fake plans. Nathalie had somehow figured out that the people they couldn’t trust were those three, but _why?_ Reiner had put his life on the line to save all of them countless of times. Why the Captain wouldn’t trust him? Or Berthold, or Ymir? It just didn’t make sense.

“Switch to ODM and climb on the trees, soldiers!” Nathalie ordered and everybody did as they were asked. They switched from horseback to ODM and jumped on the trees, high enough for any titan to reach. “The Central Squad has moved in. We’re going to keep the titans out of the forest,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Do you believe this bullshit? Am I the only one who wonders what happened with the whole plan?! Or why we didn’t go galloping home after the Female Titan showed up? Why are we suddenly all playing birdhouse? Oh, wait, no, I forgot the last one. No titans allowed in the Central Squad’s nature retreat,”

Jean may have been a few branches away, but she could still hear him. Nathalie knew that it wasn’t the best time to start laughing, but she could only keep herself from doing so.

“What an idiot. I bet Captain Nathalie doesn’t even know what the hell’s going on,” Jean said.

“She’ll hear you!” Armin said warningly.

“Why do I care? It’s not like she’s explaining anything to the ones risking their lives,” Jean said and Nathalie wouldn’t blame him. But she had her orders. She just shrugged it off and acted like she didn’t hear him. “Still, though, she’s too calm for the situation that we’re in,”

“That’s because she knows the actual plan,” Armin said.

Jean turned and gave a confused look at his friend. “Huh?”

“Don’t you remember? The moment we split from Reiner, Berthold and Ymir, her first order was to forget all about the plan and follow her lead,” Armin said and Jean realised he was right. “The Commander’s onto something. If the plan that they gave us was a fake, then the actual plan has been entrusted to only a few, because there’s someone amongst us that the Commander can’t trust,”

“You mean… the enemy is one of us?!” Jean asked confusedly.

“Yes, and then the question is who, and why and what are they after,” Armin wondered but he didn’t get to think much into it when Nathalie’s voice caught everybody’s attention.

“Five-metre titan approaching!” Everybody tensed up, but Nathalie just sighed and rested her blades back in their cases in her ODM gear. She wasn’t going to attack. It wasn’t in the plan. “Everybody, stay put. You do not engage unless I say so. We’ll only jump further up should the titans find some way to climb.”

And then the idea struck Armin. They didn’t have to fight the titans, did they? The Commander wouldn’t have the rookies to fight off titans and get slaughtered, instead, they were going to be the distraction. Staying on top of the trees, they were safe, and they were keeping the attention of all other titans from entering the forest, that’s why they didn’t _have_ to fight at all.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Captain! Captain Levi!”

Levi held back a groan of irritation and instead decided to respond to the brat’s whining. “What?”

“C’mon, sir. We’re in a forest! We won’t be seeing a titan until it’s right on top of us. The Centre Rank’s totally cut off. Something’s coming up, isn’t it? So, what are we supposed to do?” Eren tried to make a point and Levi sighed.

“Quit whining and move away from the obvious,” Levi said “Neither of those is an option anymore,”

“W- What are you talking about?”

“Haven’t you noticed what’s all around you? Take a look at these big-ass trees. Perfect environment for ODM gear, wouldn’t you say?” If there was one thing that Levi hated was _impatient_ _brats._ He should have gotten used to it, though, Isabel was the most impatient _brat_ that he’d ever let in. He sighed. Eren wasn’t supposed to remind him of her. “Take my advice, Eren. Calm down and use your head. The best survival tool is your brain,”

“Y- Yes, sir!”

Levi wouldn’t blame him. The kid was scared and he had every right to be. Everyone was scared in their first Expedition. The only thing he could do as his Captain, was reassure him. But he was sure the entire squad was scared. They didn’t know why _in the world_ they were in the forest when they weren’t supposed to be there. So long as they followed his orders, they were going to be okay.

“Black smoke!”

“The thing’s been on our asses since we got here, huh?” Gunther said.

“Blades draw. Now!” Levi ordered. It was time. “It’ll happen in a blink of an eye. Be ready,” And it did show up. It showed up with tossing a comrade away. It was moving fast. _Too fast_. “Go! Move it!” Levi growled and they did as their Captain had ordered, evading the attacks of the Female Titan.

“Holy shit!” Eld cried out.

“How in the hell are we supposed to blow evasive maneuvers in here?!” Gunther cried out.

“It’s catching up!”

“Captain! Engage the ODM gear?!” Petra cried out. “Captain!”

 _No. Not at all._ Levi didn’t even bother looking back at the titan as it smashed and killed off the Reinforcements Wagon. One had to be really cold blooded to pull this off. Commander Erwin wasn’t putting just anyone on the job.

“Captain! Your orders!”

“It’s dangerous! Let’s take it out! Tell us to engage, sir!”

He knew they were terrified, having them crying out, begging for his orders was a part of operation that he knew would come. Levi chose to stay silent. They just had to run for a little bit more. They would reach Erwin’s and Hange’s squads hopefully before his own soldiers were wiped out. Once again, he was relieved that Nathalie wasn’t there. She was somewhere on top of a tree, safe and sound. So long as he knew that, he could keep riding ahead, ignoring all that yelling coming from his comrades. Levi finally spoke.

“Everyone! Cover your ears, now!”


	17. The 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls Pt. 3

“Remind me, what is our mission?!” Levi turned at his squad. “Is it to simply act on impulse in the heat of the moment? Let me answer that question for you. It’s not. This squad’s mission is to keep this brat alive, whatever the cost. Don’t forget it,” Levi said harshly. _Finally,_ their whining was stopped. “We keep pushing forward on horseback, is that clear?!”

“Crystal, sir!”

“But for how long? We can’t keep running forever!” Eren cried out. “She’s right on top of us as it is! If we don’t do something, she’s gonna- No! They keep coming! They’re all gonna die unless we do something!”

“Quit talking and keep moving!”

“How can all of you just ignore what’s happening back there?! Are you telling me to abandon my comrades?! Is that it?!” Eren cried out.

“Eren, stop whining and do as your Captain tells you!” Petra cried out.

“Why are we letting people die!? If this is part of some bigger picture, why can’t someone explain it to me?!” Eren cried out.

“Shut up and behave like a soldier!”

“Eren! You’re not allowed to assume Titan form unless your life’s in extreme danger! Stop!”

 _Ah,_ so the brat was indeed going to bite his hand. Levi frowned. He wasn’t planning to speak, but it sounded like he had to. If Eren got on a rampage _now_ it could ruin the mission. However, he could understand why Eren would disobey orders. Of all people in there, Levi knew better than anyone that it was always best to disobey orders for the sake of fighting for your beliefs or _your own skin_. Disobeying orders got him far in the Underground. He had become the best _scam_ of the _best_.

The Commander’s plan was _reckless_ like all the other plans of his. So many comrades had just been slaughtered while they could just stop running and fight them off. The Commander should just let the Female Titan to him and his squad. He shouldn’t have separated him from Nathalie in the first place. If there was a soldier in the Scouts as skilled as Levi was her and together, with the squad, they would be able to take it out.

Alas, Levi had learned to follow orders, even though it never was in his nature. “I wouldn’t blame you,” He said. “Do as your conscious dictates. But, Eren, listen, you are not inherently evil. Your ability to change doesn’t make you a monster. That said, it could be the other way around. How are you supposed to know where to draw the line? Whether you lose control or freely give it up. Maybe it’s the same, but that’s life. At the end of the day, there’s no reason to go against how you see it. The choice is yours. You can trust yourself, or you can trust the people willing to put their lives on the line for you. I don’t know which way is better. I never have. Should I act on my instincts, or put myself in the hands of my comrades and trust them. Either way there’s no guarantee. In the end, you’ll have to choose that one choice that you’ll regret the least,” 

He had acted on his own instincts and that’s how Furlan and Isabel died that day. He took his eyes off of them for a second, and the other, they were gone. But even if he had put himself in their hands, maybe they’d still die. Maybe both decisions were the same, but still, he had chosen the one that he had regretted the most. He only hoped that _today_ he wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake. _Today,_ he was going to _trust_ his comrades. He was going to trust they were going to come back to him, and he was going to lead them back to their families.

“Eren! Trust us!” Petra said and it didn’t take long when the brat said that one thing that Levi wasn’t expecting him to say.

“I’m with you!”

Levi thought he didn’t know what exactly it was that made Eren trust the people who wouldn’t give a second thought into killing him should he transform, but then he remembered. He remembered two nights ago when Nathalie scolded him for being too harsh on the boy. She had made him talk to Eren and she had promised she’d talk to the team. Nathalie had managed to convince the others that Eren wasn’t a threat. He was nothing but a scared child, thrown in a cruel, _cruel_ world. In the end, Eren wasn’t much different than himself.

 _“You’ll have to trust us, and we’ll have to trust you,”_ Nathalie had told Eren, and Levi remembered staring at her, and at how _marvellously_ she had managed to bring a truce between his terrified comrades and the kid who could turn into a titan any moment and devour them. Maybe that’s what Eren thought of, and he gave that answer that Levi wasn’t expecting.

“Target’s accelerating!” Eld informed him.

“Just keep moving. We’ll outrun the bitch,” Levi said. He gritted his teeth. _Just a little bit more._ And then came the Commander’s order.

“FIRE!”

The Female Titan was immobilised by Hange’s and Nathalie’s new invention. Levi sighed in relief. It had actually worked. The Female Titan was now held into position, stabbed in all areas of its body, unable to keep chasing them. Levi turned at his squad “Everyone, hit your horses a bit a further on and then switch to ODM gear. I have to break away for a little while. Eld’s in charge until I get back. Take Eren somewhere out of sight, away from the Female Titan, and see to my horse,”

He hooked himself on the bark of the tree, and he jumped off the horse. He maneuvered himself through the forest until he reached the Central Squad, and he landed on the branch beside Erwin.

“It’s not putting up much of a fight,” Levi said as he stared at the immobilised creature.

“It’s no reason to let our guard down,” Erwin said. “Good work leading her here. I’m more than a little impressed,”

“We couldn’t have without the rear squad whose lives bought us time. This belongs to them. I don’t intend to ever forget that,” Levi said. His fists clenched. The Commander’s reckless plan had once again cost so many people’s lives.

“Is that so?” Erwin asked and Levi once again felt the need to punch him.

“Yes. Because of their sacrifices, we can expose whoever this really is,” Levi said, turning at the Female Titan. Levi grabbed another blade. He couldn’t wait to chop out whoever was hiding beneath the nape. Her hands were covering the nape, but that was no problem. He would cut every single finger if he had to. 

“Not quite yet, Levi. A little more insurance,” Erwin said before he gave the order again, and Hange’s squad fired at the titan once more, stabbing it in all places and keeping it trapped.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

She knew the sound of hers and Hange’s canons more than anyone. It was a shame she wasn’t there to see it. Nathalie sighed as she looked at the titans below them. They had started to learn how to climb already. She made a mental note to let Hange know that titans could _learn_.

“A few more hours and they’re gonna start making they’re own tree-house,” Jean said sarcastically as him and Armin jumped a bit further up. “Hey, Armin, they want us to keep the titans out of the forest, right? I just figured out why. They want to lure that Female Titan into a trap. C’mon, what else could it be? It’s like you said. There’s a person inside stirring that thing, and Commander Erwin wants to find out who,”

“Smart assumption, soldier,” Nathalie’s voice came from behind and both kids tensed up when she landed on their branch and approached them.

“You knew all along?!” Jean pointed a finger on Nathalie and she crossed her hands against her chest.

“So, you two really _were_ clueless,” Nathalie said.

“What is really going on?! Why’s no one telling us anything!? We’re putting our lives on the line here, we at least need to know what the hell it is that you’re-” Jean tried to say but Nathalie cut him.

“Calm down, Jean. We have a reason to believe there’s a spy among us. This whole operation is about throwing the bait and capturing them. That said, there was no way we could trust any of you, especially the graduates,” Nathalie explained. “Even the Special Operations Squad was kept in the dark, so don’t feel bad about not being informed about the actual plan,”

“And how can you tell me and Jean aren’t the spies? Instead, you tell us the plan now. No, you told us to forget all about the plan when we got separated from Reiner, Berthold and Ymir, and for all I know, that separation was a last-minute moderation in the plan,” Armin said.

“Reiner, Berthold and Ymir?! Are you serious? Those guys have been with us five years now, there’s no way they’re-” Jean tried to say but Nathalie cut him.

“Remind me, Armin, when was the wall in Shiganshina breached?” Nathalie asked and Armin’s eyes widened.

“You mean…”

“The enemy entered through the walls five years ago when the Colossal and Armoured titan breached the wall in Shiganshina. Of course, that’s still an assumption, however, those people killed my test subjects, and I don’t intend to let them get away with that,” Nathalie said.

“But the Commander’s plan is too reckless. Why put so many lives on the line just because one of us can’t be trusted?!” Jean asked. “Hell, we could have smoked out the spy. Maybe even saved some good people,”

“No, he did what was necessary,” Armin said.

“Are you seriously going to try to defend him?! Do you have any idea how many of us died so that the Commander could play intrigue?!” Jean cried out. Nathalie had to admit, the kid had a point. However, as a Commander, one has to make many risks to lead.

“Of course, I do, but there was no way to know how things would turn out. He’s a Commander, he had to act on what he had. Period. He had to choose. A handful of us, or all of us. What would you have done? He had to sacrifice a hundred lives for the good of mankind. I may be naïve, but I know that genuine harbingers must do things others won’t dare. Sacrifice their heart. Accept the burden of doing the unspeakable. Whether we like to admit it or not, the fact is this. To rise above monsters, we have to abandon our humanity. That’s the irony, really. If you can’t let it go, it’s not worth holding onto,” Armin said, leaving both Jean and Nathalie speechless.

Nathalie smiled proudly at Armin and she patted a hand on his shoulder. “Nicely said, Armin,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

The Commander’s order was clear. _Scare her enough to come out._ Levi knew how to do just that. He landed on top of the Female Titan’s head. His swords were tight in his hands. He was ready to defend himself should anything happen, but he did not worry about that much. He knew too immobilised to start moving and essentially, she wasn’t a threat to him at the moment.

“Knock-knock. We know you’re in there. Why don’t you make this easy for us and come out, stop wasting our time. Seriously, what can you hope to gain by stalling. If you’re thinking we’ll let you go, we won’t. If you’re thinking about trying to escape, don’t,”

 _Despair_ was that one feeling that scared _the shit out_ of people. Levi could be too scary if he wanted to. He had learned how to be scary when he was in the Underground. Not everybody needed to get tortured to spill information that he was being paid for. Still, whoever was in that thing had killed countless of his comrades and one of which could be Nathalie. He didn’t know yet, but he knew one thing, he was going to make them pay whoever the Female Titan was. 

“All you should be thinking about are the good men you killed today. Not that you care. It’s not your style, is it? You _enjoy_ killing. Which means we have something in common. Of course, I enjoy killing titans. You’re okay with me cutting your limbs off at the joints, right? I mean, they’ll grow back. I’m talking about your actual body. Don’t want you dead just yet,” Levi tried his best to hold back a smirk. “I know a very special someone who would just _love_ to tie you down and run all kinds of tests on you. You could be my new _present_ to her,”

And then it started growling and shouting and struggling against its restraints. Everybody got startled. Even Levi had to cover his ears. His eyes slightly widened. What was she trying to do? Was that a cry for help? Or was it just a final cry of desperation and defeat? Levi couldn’t tell which, but when she stopped, he let go of his ears and pushed a strand of hair back in place.

“Nicely done. I almost lost my composure,” Levi said.

“Were those like… death roars or something?” Moblit asked.

Hange turned and looked at him shrugging. “I have no idea,”

Mike landed on the same branch as Erwin. “They’re coming, I can smell them,” 

Erwin’s fists clenched. “From what direction?”

“From _every_ direction. Fast. Dozens,”


	18. The 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls Pt. 4

Nathalie’s eyes widened. So, _she was indeed controlling the titans_. The roaring of the Female Titan had resounded everywhere, and right just after that, all the titans who had been trying to climb the trees, had suddenly stopped and started running into the forest. They were running in the direction that the Central Rank had set the trap. The direction where the Female Titan was being kept. Nathalie gritted her teeth. She drew her swords.

“What the hell is this?! Are they… are they going in?!” Jean cried out.

Mikasa and Sasha landed on the same branch as Jean, Armin and Nathalie. Soon, Ymir set off to find Krista, and Connie landed on the same branch.

“Are you telling me they’re all abnormals?!” Connie cried out confusedly.

“What’s going on?” Mikasa asked turning at Nathalie.

“You kids need to stay on the trees. I will take care of that,” Nathalie said.

“With all due respect, Captain, I know that sound!” Sasha cut in. “It used to haunt me in my sleep. This is the shout of a dying animal who’s got nothing to lose!” Sasha said shakily.

The girl was right. Where they actually on their way to _eat_ the Female Titan? The person inside would be easily able to slip away on ODM. But ordering all other titans to eat her body? That was extreme, but it wasn’t a sacrifice. It was actually a very clever move, especially if the woman turning into a titan could do it again like Eren. Nathalie was willing to bet that it was no other but Levi the one who had brought such despair to the creature that decided to get itself eaten. 

“Captain, let us help you out. It is still our objective to keep the titans out of the forest,” Mikasa said.

“A- Aren’t you terrified?!” Sasha cried out.

“Have you ever seen me being terrified of something?” Mikasa asked.

“No! That’s why I’m telling you, this time would be a good time to try it out!” Sasha cried out.

“Calm down, Sasha. I cannot ask you to dive to death-” Nathalie tried to say but Mikasa cut her.

“Eren’s at the Centre Rank, isn’t he?!” Mikasa asked worriedly.

“And that’s why you must let _me_ go in there and help out!” Nathalie cried out and Mikasa shut her mouth. Nathalie sighed and she placed both hands on Mikasa’s shoulders. “I know you care about him, and I know some of you want to fight, but my orders were clear, I keep you safe so that you can live to fight another day. Now, if you feel like you’re capable of handling taking out a few titans, then go for it, if not, let me and the Central Rank take care of this,” Nathalie turned and looked at everyone who had landed in nearby branches to hear what their Captain had to say. They nodded. “Good,” Nathalie turned at the short-haired blonde girl. “Lieutenant Nanaba, you’re in charge,”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Nathalie jumped off the branch hooking herself on the back of a titan. She cut off its nape. She headed for another one, cutting off its nape as well. She repeated that for a couple titans of all classes. There were three-metre to ten-metre titans, but they didn’t pay any attention to her. It seemed that the only one that they wanted to _eat_ was their _commander._ The Female Titan.

Nathalie cut off the napes of any titan that stood on her way. She was sure she had at least slain a large portion of them when she reached the centre of the forest where Mike’s, Hange’s and Erwin’s squads were fighting. They had killed off a large number of them and they were still fighting.

Large carcasses of titans were collapsing on the ground. She noticed Levi in all this commotion, slaughtering three titans with one go, but he hadn’t noticed another titan who was slowly approaching him. Nathalie went straight for the nape. She cut it off, before she landed on another titan. A larger one. She cut its nape off as well. The hand of another titan came her way and Levi cut it off, before he hooked himself on its shoulder slicing off its nape.

Nathalie went for the eyes of another one, and Levi went straight for the nape. She had already cut off the hand of another titan that was heading for Levi. Levi went for its eyes whilst she cut off the nape.

“Nathalie!” Levi cried out and when she noticed three more coming, she knew right away what he had in mind. She jumped towards him and he grabbed her hand, tossing her away towards the other three titans. Nathalie cut off three napes at once. She hooked herself on the back of another titan. She cut off its nape whilst Levi slaughtered another one who was trying to eat her.

The fight went on like this for a large moment, and when the other members of the other squads would land on the branches of the trees around them to catch their breath, the two of them were still fighting. It almost seemed like they had their own way of communicating during a battle. She knew him so well that she could tell his moves and she could tell when and what he needed her to do. And he too knew her well enough to be able to figure out what she too had in mind.

When the rest of the squads were spent from all the fighting, the ones still fighting were the two of them and they were doing the same progress as an entire battalion. If it wasn’t for Erwin’s order to withdraw, they wouldn’t have retreated from battle, but the titans were too many, even for Levi and Nathalie.

Nathalie watched as the titan blood on the lenses of her glasses started vaporising. Levi had landed right next to Erwin and she landed, breathless, on the branch next to Hange and Moblit. Hange was standing, panting, with her glasses pulled up, resting just above her forehead. She wiped the titan blood off her face and Nathalie took off her glasses as well.

Nathalie sighed as they all stared as the Female Titan was being eaten. “She fucked us up, didn’t she?”

“We will search for the human corpse afterwards,” Moblit said.

“I don’t think you’ll find one,” Nathalie said.

Hange kicked the branch and she let out a cry of frustration. “Son of a bitch!” She cried out.

“Calm down, Section Commander!” Moblit tried to say.

“Don’t tell me to calm down, dammit! We just lost the most precious specimen that we could ever hope to work on!” Hange cried out.

Nathalie placed a hand on Hange’s shoulder, urging her to turn and look at her. “We’ll find her and we’ll capture her, but maybe today’s not the day,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“We’ve been bested,” Erwin said when Levi hooked himself on the same tree where Erwin had been standing on.

Levi wiped the titan blood off his face. “Don’t give me that crap. Not now. Not yet,”

“Think about it,” Erwin said. “The enemy was prepared to make sacrifices, enormous ones. So committed to maintaining her secret, she would rather let herself get cannibalised than exposed,”

“That whole song and dance and in the courtroom and this is what we’ve got to show for it. We scurry back now with our tail between our legs. Eren’s right back in chains or worse,” Levi gritted his teeth. How in the world did they allow themselves to fail?! How in the world did _Erwin_ allow that? They had been bested, just as Erwin had said, but _what the hell_ was going to happen now? Could Levi really let people take Eren and have him killed just because he had failed today? Nathalie would never let him see the end of that.

“We’ll jump off that bridge once we get there. Right now, our main objective is to go back without sustaining any further casualties however we can,” Erwin said.

Levi rested his blades back in their cases. They were the last blades that he had left. “I’ll gather up my squad,”

“Not yet, Levi. First, you and Nathalie replenish your blades and your fuel,”

“I can deal with what I’ve got. We’re running against the clock as it is,” Levi said. “Why?”

“Because I said so. That’s an order,”

Levi frowned. This was one of the many times that he felt like detaching that _pretty little head of his_ off his shoulders. “Whatever you say, sir. I trust you implicitly,” _Jerk._

Nathalie was already picking new blades when he landed on the same branch as her own. The others were already starting to ride away. He raised an eyebrow. Wasn’t she supposed to be at the front with the rookies? But he knew she wouldn’t be able to stay back and let them have all the _fun,_ especially when a _test subject_ was involved in the situation.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?” Levi asked and she turned around, finally taking her attention off her new blades and new gear and she rushed towards him pulling him into a sudden hug. 

“I’m good! How about you?” She chuckled as she pulled back not giving him enough time to react. She set off to pick a set of blades for him. “I don’t even have to ask, do I?”

Levi’s lips barely cracked up into a smile. It was a miracle he was _almost smiling_ in a situation like this. But _she was there_ , and she was alive, and he guessed that was enough to make him _smile_. “The Commander ordered we refuel,”

“Of course he did,”

Levi raised an eyebrow. What did she know that he didn’t? Had the Commander told her something in person that he hadn’t shared with him? She turned and looked at him whilst she refuelled her gas-tank.

“What’s with that look?” Nathalie asked raising an eyebrow. Who was he planning to kill this time? If she had to guess, it’d be the Commander.

“Why are we refuelling, Nat?”

“Hange and I have a theory. There is a person stirring that thing from the inside, like Eren did with his titan form. We did see her titan form being cannibalised but that didn’t mean that the same thing happened with the person who was inside,”

“So, the Female Titan can show up again anytime,”

“Exactly,”

And if the Female Titan showed up again, this time, Nathalie would be there, and her life would be in danger. Levi had no idea what it was that made him grab Nathalie’s wrist and drag her closer. She parted her lips to speak but he cut her.

“You stay behind me at all times, and you do not engage until I tell you so, is that clear?” Levi said.

His eyes met her own. He could tell she was going to disagree, but _he didn’t care_ whether she’d agree or not. That was an order from a _Captain_ to his _soldier_. But why did it sound like a desperate plea? He was desperate, wasn’t he? He was desperate to protect her to the point that he could ignore her objection for the sake of keeping her safe.

“B- But, Levi, I can’t-”

“ _No matter what_ ,” He repeated.

His fingers slightly clenched around her wrist. It did not alarm her, but it would alarm anyone else if they were in her place. Levi would never hurt her, but she meant a lot to him. He had let her know right after Furlan and Isabel died. It was after that day that she had woken up, and he had pulled her into a hug telling her how much she meant to him and how much he meant to her. He could not lose her. He could lose anyone else, but not _her._

“That is an order, Lieutenant,” She may have been the Captain of the graduates, but as a part of his team she was still _his_ Lieutenant, and she could follow nothing but the orders of _her_ Captain. 

But Nathalie saw that same look in his eyes that she had seen that morning. _Fear. Despair_. He was trying to protect her. He was worried, and the only way to show it was through _orders._ It was one of the many times that she had to trust his judgement and do as he asked, because she knew, he was trying to protect her.

“Yes, sir,” 


	19. The 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls Pt. 5

She hadn’t realised it until she saw it. And even when she did, she still didn’t hold it in. She needed more time. She needed time to realise _that_ …

Gunther’s body was the first that they found. They were on their way to gather their squad and the kid. Gunther’s body was hanging from the cables of his ODM that was tangled on top of a tree. His neck, split open. The blood had almost drained off of his body, but Nathalie chose not to say anything. She just looked at the dead body for a mere second. She tried to keep up with Levi who didn’t seem to want to speak either. And then…

It was nothing but a few metres away where they found Eld… or whatever was left of him. Eld had a pregnant wife, _hadn’t he?_ Nathalie didn’t say anything again. She just tried to follow Levi as they passed Oluo’s body, and then Petra. The three corpses were near each other.

Levi stood beside Petra’s body. Her neck was too split open, probably from her unceremonious landing on the bark of the tree. Her honey-brown eyes were still open, looking lifelessly up. Nathalie just stared wide-eyed. She hadn’t even noticed she collapsed on her knees, and her vision got blurry from the tears. They had known them at least five years now. Her comrades… her _children_ were gone. She could still remember teaching them Levi’s tricks. She could still remember all those feasts that Oluo’s parents would throw for them after an Expedition. And they’d gather around and eat, and talk and have fun all night, thanking whatever force it was that had kept them alive, but _this time…_

Levi stared wide-eyed down on Petra’s corpse. It was only last night that they had gathered in the dining room for dinner. It was only a few hours away when he stared at them as they laughed and ate and made their jokes and teased each other. And now… _now…_ How was he going to explain to their parents _why_ he had failed to bring their children back alive? How was he going to explain _why_ he had failed to lead them back _home?_

It was all the same just like before. The same terror. The same shock as the one back then, when Furlan and Isabel died. It was _all the same._ This time he had trusted his comrades, but he got the same result. There was no right or wrong choice after all. Everybody _dies_ one day, and Levi would always have to be the one to hold the blame. The one to survive and return back home and face the relatives of his comrades, who always waited for them, and explain _why_ he had failed.

He shouldn’t even be surprised. He knew they’d die. If they didn’t die _today_ , then they would die _tomorrow,_ or some other day, but he was always doomed to survive and bear it all.

Levi gritted his teeth. They did not have time for this. The mission wasn’t finished yet. He couldn’t defeat the Female Titan in his and Nathalie’s current state. All he could do was save the kid and hopefully get out of there alive. _No._ He didn’t want to get out of there _alive_. Not after _this._

“Get up,”

Levi’s voice drew her attention. Nathalie had taken off her glasses. She had buried her face in the palms of her hands, weeping silently, but he could still hear her. She couldn’t tell whether he had actually spoken or whether she had just imagined those words coming from him.

“Get up, Nat. We’ll have enough time to mourn later,” He hooked himself on the bark of a tree and started flying away.

How could he be so _cold-hearted?! No._ He wasn’t being cold-hearted. He was trying to do what must be done no matter how much he wanted to cut open his wrists with the swords in his hands, and die right there with his comrades. The Captain should go down with his crew. He shouldn’t just watch the dead bodies of his soldiers and continue living with himself as if nothing had happened.

Nathalie put her glasses back on and she followed him. She wasn’t going to let him get himself killed. He was the only one she had left. He hadn’t gotten far ahead. She reached him fast. They could only assume that Eren had transformed. Those cries of a titan were not the cries of just _any_ titan. Nathalie swallowed down the need to cry and mourn for her comrades and she followed Levi’s lead.

“Where are you going?! Get back here! Give him back!”

A shout came and Nathalie’s eyes widened. It was Mikasa. _No, no, no, no…_ The two of them finally spotted the Female Titan and Mikasa had brought her to her knees. Had the Female Titan actually gotten Eren? If that was the case, then it was no surprise Mikasa was there. Nathalie was impressed of how she had brought the Female Titan on its knees all on her own. But the Female Titan’s ankles healed right away. She stood back up and started running away, and Mikasa tried to chase her. Who knows how much of her fuel and swords she had wasted trying to fight her?

If Mikasa attacked her again, she wouldn’t make it. Nathalie’s eyes widened. She was in no way leaving another soldier die _today._ “Levi! Catch her!” Nathalie cried out. She would’ve gotten there by herself, but Levi was way closer.

He must have been having the same thought in mind. He caught the girl, passing a hand tightly around her waist and pulling her with him. “We’ll stay back for now,” Levi told her and Mikasa looked up at him and then back at Nathalie as she approached the two.

Levi let go off Mikasa and the three of them followed the Female Titan. “Maintain current distance. She has slowed down a bit. If she’s bitten the entire nape off, it’s highly unlikely Eren survived,” Levi said. Nathalie gritted her teeth. He was probably right.

“He’s still alive in there. This titan is different, it acts with purpose. If she wanted Eren dead she could’ve simply crushed him. No, she needs him for something, but she also needs her hands to fight, so she’s been holding him on her tongue,” Mikasa said.

“It is possible, Mikasa,” Nathalie nodded at the girl.

“What if he’s already been swallowed? If so, he’s dead,” Levi said.

“He’s alive!” Mikasa insisted.

“Someone’s optimistic,” Levi raised an eyebrow.

“If you had just done your damn job and protected him like you were supposed to, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!” Mikasa cried out.

Nathalie groaned. She knew Mikasa cared about Eren, but her comrades were all dead because of _this brat_. She was in no mood for Mikasa’s _crap,_ right now. “For your information, the Special Operations Squad has been wiped out,”

Mikasa’s eyes widened for a moment, and the expression on her face changed from a furious one to a confused one. _The Captain’s friends are dead_.

“Oh, I see now…” Levi turned and looked at her. “…the childhood friend, right? Suddenly it’s all making sense,” He had to agree with Mikasa. If Nathalie was the abducted one, he wouldn’t think twice about tearing the Female Titan apart. “Right. For the sake of argument, let’s all narrow our goals. First, we forget about taking her down,”

“No way! She’s killed too many of our own to leave her alive,” Mikasa said.

“She’s got defenses that neither of us has been trained to deal with,” Nathalie said. “Taking her down is no longer an option,”

“We’ll focus on your assumption that Eren is alive and we’ll free him before she exits the forest. Nat and I will handle all the cutting. You find a way to distract her,” Levi said.

“Right,”

Mikasa flew right in front of the Female Titan, catching her attention. Levi and Nathalie snuck behind her. Levi had that look in his eyes. The one that he had when he found Isabel’s and Furlan’s corpses back then. It was the same now. That _bitch_ had slaughtered his comrades. He was going to cut through every single part of her body, and he was going to _irrevocably_ _enjoy_ it.

She had noticed them though. The Female Titan turned around right away and tried to punch him off. Levi dodged the attack and landed on her hand, cutting all the way from the wrist to her shoulder, fast enough to not give her any time to harden her skin. Nathalie went straight for the eyes. She stabbed both her swords, discarding the blades into her eyes. The blood of the titan spilled on her face. She drew new blades and jumped off the Female Titan as she kept a hand back, covering her nape, and her back pressed against the bark of a tree.

Both Levi and Nathalie started cutting off the hands. They passed multiple times, but fast. The Female Titan was blind and there was no time for her react to any of their attacks. Nathalie sliced multiple times the shoulder left arm, and Levi cut off the right, urging it to fall off the nape, limp. Nathalie cut off the titan’s mouth from one side, and Levi went for the other, splitting open the jaw of the Female Titan. Her mouth was wide open and Eren was inside. The girl was right after all.

But Mikasa tried to go for the nape. Levi’s eyes widened. “Don’t do it!” He cried out. The Female Titan’s slowly-healing hand reached up, ready to crush Mikasa like a bug. Nathalie’s eyes widened. _It’s healed already?!_ Mikasa was a member of her squad. No more people were going to die on her watch. Nathalie hurried over the arm, slicing it by the wrist. Nathalie landed on the hand harshly enough to break her ankle. She cried out in pain as it shot through her broken ankle.

Levi’s eyes widened. He turned and tried to get to her “Nathalie!” Levi cried out.

“Get Eren!” Nathalie cried out as she jumped off the hand with a shout of pain and she grabbed Mikasa. Nathalie pulled her out of the way whilst Levi headed for Eren.

“I got him!” Levi said as the three of them headed away on their ODM. They stopped further away on a tree. Nathalie groaned as she looked down at her leg that radiated with pain. She gritted her teeth and her fingers clenched around her pants on her thigh. “Nat! You’re okay?!” Levi asked worriedly. She looked up at him. He was standing by the other tree, with Eren in his arm.

“I’m alright,” Nathalie nodded at him reassuringly, although she could tell she wasn’t being much reassuring.

“It’s time to go,” Levi said.

“Eren…” Mikasa gasped.

“He’s alright. Disgusting, but alright,” Levi said. “What did I tell you about trying to take her down?! Now, c’mon! We’ve got Eren, that means our work here is done. Don’t screw this up by making it personal, do you understand?! We all get that you love him, but try not to act crazy,” Levi spat before he hooked himself on another tree and started flying away with Eren.

Mikasa’s eyes widened. “I…”

“It’s alright, dear… I…” Nathalie winced slightly “…would have reacted the same,” before she jumped on another tree and flew away with the ODM.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It was when they gathered the corpses and covered them in white sheets that Nathalie realised that they were _actually_ gone. They wouldn’t be able to make out who they were. The corpses were many, but Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther had the bitemarks in their hands that they had given themselves trying to apologise to Eren a few nights back.

But now… _now_ they were gone. Nathalie knelt beside the corpses and soon Levi collapsed on his knees beside her. A fresh tear slipped down her cheek as she stared at them and tried to realise that they were actually gone. That the Special Operations Headquarters were going to be empty and that Petra wouldn’t be there to scold at Oluo for spilling out something stupid. Eld wasn’t going to go back to his wife and child, and Gunther wasn’t going to go back to his parents.

Another tear slipped down Nathalie’s cheek and she turned at Levi. His eyes, wide as he stared down at the corpses of their friends. His squad. His comrades. His friends. He had lost friends once again, and it was his fault. How in the world was he supposed to face their relatives now? How were they going to live and wander around an empty castle? It was too big for two people.

He would never hear them laugh and chat. Gunther would no longer be making them tea. “Levi… our… our kids, they’re…” Nathalie stopped herself and her hand reached for her mouth, suppressing back a sob. Her tears soaked her cheeks anyway.

Levi’s hand found the back of her head and he urged her to lean against him. Nathalie grabbed onto his brown jacket and she pressed her forehead on his shoulder finally letting that sob out.

“They’re gone, Nat,” Levi finished for her. “Our brats are gone,” He pulled back to look at her. He still had that shocked expression on his face, that slowly started to fall into one of sorrow. “We’ll take off their jackets. We may not be able to bring their bodies back,”

Nathalie nodded. “Okay,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Levi was right. The titans attacked when they were heading back home. They had no choice but to dump the bodies, and Levi was the one who had to give the order. He was the one who had to watch as Petra’s body was being dumped away and stepped on by a large number of titans. He still had their jackets. He was going to hand them to their families. He had no idea how to face them after this. He had no idea how much he could bear without _bursting._

They entered through Coloneth District. There was that same chatter from the people all around them in the streets. They’d keep talking about how useless the Scouts were. Making fun of the smaller numbers. They didn’t even have the corpses to bring back.

“E- Excuse me, Captain Levi, Lieutenant Nathalie, I’m Petra’s father…”

Nathalie gritted her teeth and stared down. She could in no way look that man in the eyes as he started talking about how his daughter was about to get married and retired from the Scouts to live the life of a normal woman. Levi couldn’t face him either. Neither Eld’s wife, nor Gunther’s and Oluo’s parents afterwards. No matter what they said, Levi and Nathalie handed them their jackets, that were still stained in the blood of their children. 

It was only a few hours later that the government had Eren under their custody, and Nathalie with Levi had finally returned to the empty castle. And it was only after they walked through the door that Levi finally gave in to the exhaustion, and the pressure, and passed out by the floor.

“Levi!”

Nathalie’s eyes widened as she dropped the crutches -that she’d been using to walk- and she collapsed beside him pulling him in her lap. He was alright, but exhausted, and all that pressure was finally coming out now. Their squad was gone, their families were _cursing_ their existence. He had just faced them all and looked at them straight in the eye telling them that their children had died and it was his fault. Nathalie tried to bear some of the blame but he did not let her. He never let her help him bear any of his burdens, and he had now passed out and she was holding him.

Nathalie cupped his face and pressed a kiss on his burning forehead. “I’ve got you,” 


	20. Seeking Consolation When There's None

**14 Years Ago.**

_He was shaking. She had offered to help however she could, even though she didn’t really know how. She had read books she had stolen from the only physician that would visit the Underground. She never knew how she had learned to read. It almost felt like she always knew how to do it. Books were the only toys that her long gone parents would toss at her to spend her time with. That physician’s book talked about a frequent condition, called, fever._

_People would shake from fever sometimes, only because they were feeling cold, even though their bodies would get warmer than usual. Nathalie was fifteen, and Levi was sixteen. It was the first time she had ever seen the symptoms of fever into someone else. They had just finished another job that involved diving right into the river of the Underground Caverns in order to chase their targets._

_It was another job that had gotten smoothly, and it had still added to their experience, but it wasn’t until a few minutes after they got home, when Levi would act crankier than usual. Nathalie did all that she had read in that pretty interesting book. She pressed her palm on his forehead after lots of convincing him to stand still._

_Levi shot her a look. “What the fuck are you doing?!”_

_She didn’t respond right away. She looked deep in thought, but she still wasn’t taking her hand off his forehead and he tried his best not to shout at her for it. “You’re hot,”_

_Levi held back a smirk. “Try telling me something I don’t kno-”_

_She pulled her hand away from his forehead and smacked his shoulder. “That’s not what I mean, dumbass! You’re having a fever!”_

_“I’m fine!” Levi growled. “Get off my ass and go read your books or something,”_

_Nathalie frowned. “My books might actually tell us how to deal with it,”_

_“There’s nothing to deal with!” Levi cried out as he vanished in his room shutting the door behind him._

Stubborn bastard _, she remembered thinking, right before she set off to search for a blanket. They didn’t have many blankets apart from his and her own. He must’ve been freezing way more than he was letting out to be. She had very well warned him about jumping in that river. However, she knew they didn’t really have much of a choice. She had tried jumping in herself, but he did not let her._

_She grabbed her blanket and barged in his room anyway. She was expecting him to shout at her for it, but he didn’t. He was shaking head to toe, nuzzling deeper and deeper beneath his one blanket that of course wasn’t enough to keep him warm. She covered him in the second blanket and the shaking slightly ceased._

_He still had his back turned at her, but she knew he wasn’t asleep. He was probably trying to admit that she had most possibly wounded his ego, even for just a little bit. She left the room and returned with something that he didn’t pay much attention at._

_“You know it’s alright to ask for a little bit of help when you need it,” She said. He heard as she placed a chair beside his bed and it was no long after when she placed a cool, drenched cloth over his forehead. It brought relief right away and he sighed. She really knew what she was doing, wasn’t she?_

_“Nat?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“You need to rest,”_

_A small smile spread across her lips. He turned and looked at her. She was sitting on that chair that she had settled beside his bed. Was she really going to stay there the entire night?!_

_“I’m fine here,”_

_“Nat-”_

_“I’ve slept in worse places than a chair. You know that,”_

**Current time.**

Nathalie remembered that night. It was the first time she had treated Levi’s fever. She was probably the only person who had seen Levi be sick. But this time wasn’t like all the rest. This time she couldn’t stand. Her ankle was still broken, and Levi had passed out by the floor, but she couldn’t carry him even if her ankle was fine. He was once again having fever, but it wasn’t a cold causing it. She was almost willing to bet that it was the pressure that he’d been keeping in, finally bursting out painfully.

She remained seated on the floor with Levi settled in her lap, and she cried. Nathalie felt so _alone._ How was she supposed to put him to bed? She couldn’t stand. There was no one there to help her. Petra, Oluo, Eld and Gunther were no longer around. They had died, and it wasn’t just Levi’s fault. It was her fault as well. She was their Lieutenant. The rookies would be safe under Lieutenant Nanaba’s command, Nathalie should have been with her squad. She should have been with them to help them and keep Eren safe.

Instead, she had stayed away, and she wasn’t there when they got killed. She wasn’t there to do anything to stop it. She had done nothing. She had done nothing to protect the kids that she had almost raised training them or training _with_ them, and spending all those nights, talking them through their fears and anguish of their Expeditions. She remembered the night before Petra’s first Expedition, when Nathalie had found her crying herself to sleep. Nathalie had walked in Petra’s room and she sat beside her on her bed, and pulled her in a hug. She remembered promising Petra that she was going to keep her safe no matter what and _now…_ Now, Nathalie had failed to keep that promise to another little sister that she had lost.

_Why did the pain had to repeat itself all over?_

Nathalie did not search for an answer. She realised she was wetting Levi’s cheek with her tears. He was passed out. He couldn’t hear her. He wasn’t going to scold at her. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how much _broken_ he must’ve been when he saw the bodies of their comrades. Once again, he had taken his eyes off of them, and they were gone. All it had taken was a short fight’s moment.

Nathalie sniffled as she looked down at him. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how he must’ve felt when he brought the news to Eld’s pregnant wife. To Gunther’s old parents, to Petra’s parents, and Oluo’s little siblings. She remembered the little ones as they’d stare up at them in terror when they told them that Oluo was gone. Levi and Nathalie must’ve looked like some kind of criminals in front of their innocent eyes.

Nathalie wiped off her tears and she started dragging him. She dragged him all the way to his room. Nathalie wiped another tear away, and she focused on taking off his ODM gear, the cloak and his jacket. She had no time to cry. She had to be there for him. Levi needed her. He needed her now more than ever. And after she had settled him beneath the bedsheets with a drenched cloth on his forehead, she finally gave in to the exhaustion.

Nathalie collapsed to her knees beside his bed. She was too tired to roll a chair close. Her ankle radiated with pain and she could do nothing but clutch on the bedsheets of his bed as she knelt beside him and pressed her forehead against the mattress.

She couldn’t stand back up and walk out. She was too tired to do it, and whenever he was sick, she would always stick around in case he needed something. He had done the same for her all those times she was sick, and he would do it again if she was in his position. _They would all do it._

The realisation of her comrades’ deaths was hitting her in waves. She had lost them all. _Again._ The hatred in the eyes of their relatives was going to haunt her. Nathalie shut her eyes. What if the next one to die was Levi? _No._ She couldn’t think of that. Her hand reached for his own that was resting on top of the bedsheets. She laced their fingers together and looked up at him.

“You’re the only one I’ve got,” 

_Death_ was just everywhere. Even from the very beginning, she was a child of parents who didn’t want her. Her parents would fight and yell at each other every single day, until father _murdered_ mother and then went for her. And then, she had escaped and was forced to live in the streets. But then a year older than her boy found her. And that boy was Levi, and it was just the two of them for quite some time. Then Furlan joined. The mastermind of their operations he was. And then, Isabel, her _little sister_. Everybody’s _little sister._ And then they both died, and it was once again just the two of them.

But then, she remembered when she and Levi would just stare at the Cadets as they trained. Erwin had asked them to build their own squad, and teach them Levi’s tricks, and they did. Four years now, they’ve been living under the same building with their comrades, and _today,_ it was just the two of them once again, _cursed_ to survive and watch their friends and comrades as they passed away.

_How can somebody live like this?_

Nathalie shut her eyes. Hot tears drenched the knuckles of his hand. Her fingers tightened around his own, but his own fingers were not responding. Not this time. They wouldn’t respond for a while.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

He knew it was late in the night from the lack of light that entered through the window. Levi felt a hand holding his own and a gentle weight pressing on top. He looked down and he saw Nathalie. She was still knelt beside his bed. Her cheek was pressing against the back of his palm. Soft, rhythmic breaths were escaping her nose and he could tell she had fallen asleep in that uncomfortable position. He could tell she had chosen to be uncomfortable if it meant staying _beside him_.

He only remembered that terrible headache. That terrible day that had just passed. The jackets of his fallen comrades that he had delivered to their families along with the heartbreaking news. He remembered the guilt. Its burden was still weighing heavy on top of his shoulders. He remembered when he and Nathalie found their bodies, and he remembered asking himself _why._

 _Why_ did he have to lose _everyone?_ Why were the lives of the people that he cared about just tossed away like they meant nothing?! _Why?!_ Why did he have to live in this nightmare? He stared wide-eyed at the dark ceiling, but he wasn’t focusing on the ceiling. All he could focus on was the _pain._ A silent tear slipped down his cheek, and it was the only one that he was going to shed. He had shed them all when his mother died. When Isabel and Furlan died. And now… _again…_

What if Nathalie was next? What if he was doomed to find her corpse laying somewhere far from him? And he wouldn’t even know how she would have died. And he wouldn’t even have gotten the chance to exchange a final word with her when she would.

“Nat,” He said, but she was still sleeping. His hand reached for her hair. He tangled his fingers in the messy strands and he stroked her hair till she started to slowly stir up.

“Levi,” She pulled that cloth off his forehead and she checked again for his temperature. He had sweated it out. She let out a sigh, and her body instantly relaxed. “You’re alright,” She tried to draw her hand back but he caught it and kept it there, in his own.

“Nat, you need to resign,”

Nat had to take a moment to process what he might have meant with that. “What?”

“You need to abandon the Scouts.” He repeated, before he sat by the edge of his bed and looked at her. She was still sitting on the floor. His eyes were wide in terror. “I cannot lead anyone else to their deaths. Not you. Stay somewhere where I know you’ll be safe. I’ll be alright. You know I will be, but you need to stay behind the walls-”

“You think it’s safe behind the walls?” Nathalie asked. She knelt in front of him with a wince and caught his eyes in her own. “The attack on Shiganshina proves otherwise,” Levi buried his face in his hands and he breathed heavily against them. Nathalie sighed. “You’re asking me to leave you? Again? When will you stop asking me that?”

“I need you to be safe, Nat. I’ve lost enough already,” Levi pulled his hands away and she watched as another tear slipped down his cheek. He caught both her hands and dragged her closer. He gritted his teeth as he leaned down at her. “What if I lose you next?! What then? What then?! Answer me, Nat!” He growled.

“And what if _I_ lose _you_ , Levi?! You’re the only one I’ve got left, and you’re asking me to let you dive right into your death on your own?!” Nathalie cried out. Tears ran down her cheeks. “If you wanna die, at least take me with you! I’ve got nothing to lose but you,”

“It’s the same for me. It’s always been the same for me. Why won’t you understand that?! I can’t go on knowing that one day my selfishness is going to kill you!” Levi cried out. “I need to know you’re safe-”

“You think behind the walls is safe?! It’s not!” Both her hands reached for his face. Her nose almost brushed against the tip of his own. “Levi, there’s no safer place than the one beside you,”

His eyes widened when she said that. She was still trusting him with her life? Did she still have faith that he could keep her safe? She still had faith in him when he’d lost his own for himself. But he knew it wasn’t something that had erupted out of her in the heat of the moment. She meant that.

He was humanity’s strongest soldier. Their squad had only died because he wasn’t there. Furlan and Isabel had died, because he wasn’t there. The walls weren’t safe. Not _anymore,_ at least. And she was right. So long as she was with him, he could keep her safe. He’d rather dive into his death than witness her own. He was never going to leave her out of his sight. Not _ever._ Whenever he did that, people just kept dying. He was never going to repeat the same mistake. Not with _her._

His hand found her cheek. He wiped her tears and he pressed his forehead against her own. “You _never_ leave my side,”

She gave him a smile. “Have I ever?”

“Promise me, Nathalie…” He insisted. He took both her hands in his own. “…promise me, you’ll _never_ leave my side,”

In the end he found out, that he wasn’t just scared about her safety. He was scared about living without her. He was scared about watching her die, and blame himself for it for all the next years that he’d have to live. He’d dive in guilt and despair and maybe one day, _kill himself off_ to end his suffering. In the end, he was scared to lose her, because she just meant _too much_ to him, that he couldn’t hope to live without her should he lose her. He had fallen for her, hadn’t he? He could imagine anybody else’s death, but he couldn’t imagine Nathalie’s. He could have anything thrown at him, but the thought of losing her was just _too much._

“I promise,” Nathalie said reassuringly. There was something about her saying that, that it made him feel better. But maybe the real reason was this: he had fallen in love with her.

He had fallen, and he had fallen deep. Maybe that’s why he was so jealous of watching her and Erwin talking in private. Maybe that’s why he was so, so _afraid_ of something happening to her. Maybe that’s why he was so afraid of living _without her_.

But he didn’t have time for such thoughts. She must’ve been tired. She had a broken ankle. She wouldn’t be able to walk and he did not see her clutches anywhere around the room. _No matter,_ he was going to take care of her. She was _his._ She had promised to be by his side forever, and he was going to protect her at all costs.

Levi’s one hand reached beneath her legs, and the other reached for her back. He picked her up as easily as picking up a feather. Her body relaxed in his. She let out a sigh, pressing her cheek against his chest. He carried her around his bed, lying her gently on the other side of it. Was he actually going to let her sleep with him?

Levi covered her body beneath her bedsheets and he pushed her glasses off for her. “Levi, you don’t have to, just take me to my-”

“Rest,” Levi cut her. “This bed’s too big for me,” He reached his side on the bed and he lied down, slipping beneath the sheets beside her. She couldn’t tell what it was that made her heart about to burst out of her chest, but his body was facing hers, and her body was facing his. His hand reached for her cheek. He brought her close enough to press a kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, Nat,”

“Goodnight, Levi,”  
  



	21. Can it Be?

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump._ The rhythmical beating of a heartbeat that matched her own was the first thing that she heard when she slowly stirred from sleep. She did not remember sleeping so peacefully before. She kept her eyes closed and remained close for another small moment. _Wait… close to what?_ Nathalie’s eyes snapped open and she realised someone was holding her. Arms were tightly wrapped around her, and her own palms were pressed against Levi’s chest.

 _Wait… Levi!?_ She had actually slept with Levi?! Heat spread across her cheeks right away. Was he really holding her?! Suddenly her heartbeat stopped matching his own and quickened right away. She couldn’t tell whether she wanted to stay there, or pull back and immediately apologise, because, there was no way he wanted _this_. _Her._ She was _absolutely_ certain that Levi had a large experience with women, and she was -in no away- better looking than whatever Levi had seen. _Why in the world was he even holding her?_

She couldn’t believe _herself._ Why was she even panicking?! This wasn’t worth panicking. What was worth _panicking_ was when she’d find out that one of her Titan Biology theories were not correct, or when Hange would do something stupid enough to threaten the lives of their _beloved test subjects. No._ She knew Levi. Levi wasn’t hugging her because he _wanted_ her, he was hugging her because… _because…_ Nathalie did not indulge herself with an answer to that. Maybe that’s why she was _panicking._

Nathalie tried to pull herself out of that _sweet_ little trap of his arms, but his arms tightened slightly. He wasn’t sleeping, was he? He must have been awake way before she did. That’s when she panicked _even more._

“Stay,”

Had he really just said that? Or was it just a trick of her imagination? It was _definitely_ a trick of her imagination, wasn’t it? But, it was true that she couldn’t _escape_ his embrace now. She gave it another try, but failed again, until she realised: _did she really want to?_

 _Of course, I do!_ She didn’t care about all that hugging and _touching_ and… _all those things that couples do. No!_ What she cared about the most, was ✨ _science_ ✨ _. Science does not hurt people._ It definitely _doesn’t._ It always kept her head straight. It kept her focused on a purpose, and she could live with that. What kept Levi _focused_ was _killing._ They both had their _hobbies_. They should leave it at that, _right? Right?!_

There wasn’t anything special about _hugs_. It wasn’t like they felt nice, and warm, and _consoling, and reassuring, and comforting, and…_ Nathalie sighed heavily. _Who am I kidding?_ She _loved_ that hug. _No._ She loved _all_ those hugs that had come from him. _Every single one of them._ But hugs led to romance, and _romance_ led to _relationships_ , and _relationships_ led to _suicide_.

At least in most books that she had read. **(A/N: She probably read my books** **🤣** **)**

Nathalie realised that she was _terrified_ of relationships. She was terrified of feelings _in general._ That’s why she had never attempted _anything_ with _anyone._ Needless to say, that if she had and Levi had found out, he’d haunt them down and murder them in cold-blood without a second thought. 

And that was because she was like a little sister to him. _Right??? Right?!!_

Of course, she was probably panicking for _absolutely_ nothing. Of course, there was that possibility that he had no such intention whatsoever. _No._ She was _absolutely sure_ that he _didn’t._ She was anything but _pretty,_ and she had anything but what a guy would want from a woman.

Nathalie realised that apart from the long-gone members of their squad, and her long-gone friends, she didn’t have any other people left to hug her other than Levi. Or maybe Hange too would drag her in the most suffocating hug when the two of them would come up with something _brilliant._ But a hug wasn’t something she was used to, and maybe that’s why she found Levi’s hugs so special.

_Yes, exactly, it’s not like I’ve fallen for him since that day he saved me from the jaws of a titan._

Heat engulfed her cheeks once more and she cursed the bright sunlight that entered through the window and would show her _ridiculously_ rosy cheeks. But she still thanked _whatever God_ was watching them, that her face was buried in his neck and he wouldn’t be seeing it anytime soon.

The weight of his cheek still pressed on top of her forehead and his fingers were almost clutching on her shirt. His hug was so welcoming, but she realised she wasn’t hugging him back. Her palms were still pressing against his chest, right on top of that white buttoned shirt. It wasn’t fair not to hug him back. After all, it looked like he needed someone to hold and hold him. _After what happened yesterday…_ Nathalie sighed heavily. That’s why he needed a hug. They had just lost their _brats._ Her hand found its way around his shoulders and pressed him closer. She had no idea why she _felt like_ bringing him closer, and she couldn’t even bring herself to imagine how he was going to react.

Levi buried his nose in her hair and breathed her in. He closed his eyes and stood there in silence. He wasn’t expecting her to hug him back, but she did and it made him wonder, did she feel something back? Sure, she did hold some kind of affection for him, but which kind?

He mentally scolded himself right away. _Why in the world_ would he even make that thought?! This was no time to think about selfish things as _this_. _Today_ wasn’t a day to be _happy_. Or at least, _happy-ish._ _Actually,_ there was never a day when he could allow himself to be _happy._ He hadn’t lived a happy life. He hadn’t lived a life that he could be proud of. He’d lost too much, in such a little time.

In the end he realised, he just sought for comfort. He couldn’t even begin to calculate how long he held her and she held him. He couldn’t even begin to think whether it was a bad decision asking her to stay or not.

He could not allow himself to _fall_ for anyone. He could not allow himself to grow _attached_. _Not in a time like this_. Not in a time where death was all around, and even the walls could no longer protect them. But he knew, he had _failed._ He had _already_ grown attached to _her_. He had grown attached and he was _terrified_ and _weak_ whilst he _shouldn’t_ be. He couldn’t _afford_ being weak. He shouldn’t have let her sleep beside him last night. He shouldn’t be holding her now. He shouldn’t be doing _any of these_.

It was all so wrong. It was all a terrible mistake, yet, why _was he still holding her?!_ Why wasn’t he pushing her away already?! Alas, he had tried, but her stubbornness had beaten him. He knew better than to try to convince otherwise the most stubborn, selfish, strong-willed woman he’d ever known. She had dragged him to his bed with a broken ankle all the way from the door. She had stuck by him all those years no matter how _mean_ he had tried to be in his hopeless effort to _push_ her away.

That’s what he always did. He never let any people in. He always pushed _everybody_ away, because, he was _afraid._ Because every time he’d let someone _in,_ he’d lose them, and it would hurt so _damn much._ Just like he had just lost their squad. Just like he had lost Furlan and Isabel. Just like he had lost his mother. Just like he had lost the _only_ father figure he ever had, who had abandoned him in streets.

But Nathalie was still there. _No._ She had _always_ been there. She was the only person he could cling onto. The only person who would hug him back. Who’d never judge him of anything. Who’d be there to pull him on the right path and keep his head straight.

He had made her promise she’d _never leave his side,_ but in the end, it was just a _desperate plea_ for reassurance. He knew she’d never leave his side. He didn’t have to make her promise it. But he was still _terrified._ His hands slightly tightened around her and he shut his eyes. She was safe _there_ , in his arms, _with him._ She was safe. He could protect her.

That endless chain of thought was interrupted when she slightly pulled back and looked up at him. Her bright blue eyes met his own. Her hair were a short, brown mess. Her lips, rosy and slightly parted. She was _breathtaking._ How had he not realised it all these years? The more he stared at her, the more he wanted to… Her thumb found his cheek and pulled him back to reality. She wasn’t saying anything, and he wasn’t speaking either. There were a million things that he wanted to say, but instead he chose to remain silent with no further thought.

He couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He couldn’t tell whether he should make a move or not. He’d either ruin it all, or walk right into a _trap,_ one that he feared, he would never want to walk out from. _Attachments are a weakness._ He shouldn’t have any, but he never stopped himself from growing any _._ Was it still worth resisting? He was only delaying the inevitable, wasn’t he?

He did that one thing that he _wasn’t_ planning to do. He pressed a kiss _on her forehead_. _You’re such a fuckin’ coward._ “I’ll make us some tea,” It was the only thing that he told her, before he slipped out of the bed, and stood up.

Nathalie was still surprised that _he hadn’t…_ Actually, she _shouldn’t_ be surprised. The two of them were like _siblings_ there was no way he had even thought of _kissing_ her, and besides, she wasn’t some _gorgeous_ woman that could earn Levi’s attention like that. She rubbed her temple, scolding herself mentally, before she realised, he had actually stood up, whilst _he should be in bed_. He had just recovered from an incredibly tough fever. He shouldn’t be on his feet just yet.

“W- Wait, Levi! Get back in bed, you just recovered, you shouldn’t be-”

“I’ll bring your crutches along with the tea,”

Nathalie choked back any other words. She knew that whatever she’d tell him, he was still going to make that _damn_ tea. She couldn’t convince him to fix it herself, because she couldn’t stand up and walk downstairs without her clutches. She just sighed and let her head roll back against the pillow. Only then did she realise how big and empty that bed could be without- _Why_ was she even making that thought?!

 _Oh boy._ She was _doomed._ Nathalie’s hand reached for her forehead, rubbing gently. She didn’t have _any_ experience on that stuff. She always found books way more interesting than _men._ She always found titans and her job as a scientist _way more interesting than relationships._ And even back then in the Underground, she was too occupied with the missions to establish a _relationship_. She just never really had the time for such things. She didn’t have the interest either. But she knew Levi had built _quite an experience_ with women from his teen ages till _now._

Nathalie groaned. Why was she even thinking of that?! She had to stop her stupid head from thinking these, and she knew just the thing. There was nothing better than a book focused on titan biology. Too bad she couldn’t stand and she couldn’t get up and grab one. 

It didn’t take long when he returned with a tray in one hand, and her clutches on the other. He settled the clutches beside the bed, and rested the tray on the nearby bedside table. Nathalie gave him a smile. He didn’t _have_ to make tea for her, and he didn’t _have_ to let her sleep with him that night. He had just recovered from a _terrible_ fever. She was still positive that he _should_ be in bed. But still, she knew that no matter what she’d say, there was no way she could convince him to just stay idle. Levi always found something to do, whether that something was read a book, or finish a mission, or help Erwin with mission planning. 

But for now, he just rolled a chair beside the bed and he sat down with his own cup of tea in his hands. Nathalie tried to push the bedsheets off her body and stand up, but his hand found her shoulder, and pressed her back down. “You need to rest,” 

_Unbelievable._ This man was unbelievable, _indeed._ “Me? I’m not the one who passed out last night, if anyone, _it’s you_ who should be in bed!” 

Levi sighed. He expected nothing less from her. He rested a hand by the back of his chair and raised his cup close to his lips taking another sip from that _delectable_ tea. There was no human being in this world that could make tea taste so good. Levi didn’t say anything as a response to that. He just picked his book and started reading.

“How’s your leg?”

Nathalie smiled nervously. She always failed to lie to Levi, because he knew her well enough to be able and say when she was lying, so she was going to say the truth anyway. “You know what? I _did_ fuck it up a little bit last night, but it’ll be good in a few days,”

Levi gave her a dead serious look. The one he’d give her before he’d start scolding her. “A _little_ bit?”

He sighed and snapped closed the book turning his whole attention at her. He knew it was _him_ the reason that she had most probably worsened the state of her ankle last night, so there was no reason for him to scold her. If anything, he should be scolding _himself_ for allowing _himself_ to act so weakly in front of her. However, it wasn’t the first time she had seen him being _weak, and hurt,_ and _vulnerable_. Of all the people that he’d known, she was the _only_ one who had seen him in states such as these, but she had still stuck around. Even when he’d _crush onto a wall_ and _pull his hair out_ from either anger or nightmares, or pressure. Maybe that was one of the many things that he liked in her. She just knew him _too well._ Sometimes, even better than he knew himself.

But then, Nathalie let out a gasp and she tensed up right away. “What about Eren?! What about the Scouts?! A- And the Female Titan! What’s Erwin going to do-”

“Relax,” Levi cut her. “They figured it out,”

“…what?!”

Levi took a letter that he had received the moment he stepped downstairs. “That boy, Armin. He figured out who the Female Titan is, Erwin’s coming over tonight,”


	22. Identifying the Killer

Eren was the first one to arrive with Hange. Nathalie couldn’t even imagine _what_ Hange had done to get that kid out of the clutches of the government. They had gathered in the dining room. It was the place where they used to gather with the rest of the squad, and Nathalie and Petra would serve the soup that they had all helped to make. Nathalie felt the bitterness of the empty chairs of their dining table. Eren was sitting silently on one chair when Nathalie and Levi walked in.

Eren stood up right away and saluted them. “Captain! Lieutenant!” Nathalie was using the crutches to walk, and Levi was standing beside her, ready to catch her should she fall. They both looked like a mess. Dark circles surrounded their eyes. It was probably from all the _crying._ Nathalie’s leg was wrapped in a tight bandage. She was wearing a white shirt and black pants. Levi was in a similar outfit, but that same _dead_ look was stamped on his face. It didn’t really give anyone the chance to figure out what he was feeling.

“Hey, Eren,” Nathalie said she gave the boy a weak smile before she winced again as she made her way to a chair.

Only after she was seated did Levi sit down beside her and served her a cup of tea. They remained in silence for a large moment. They were waiting for Erwin to show up and tell them the plan. Still, Nathalie could tell that neither of them was in a mood for anything. They were both a mess, and whatever Erwin was about to tell them, Nathalie was sure that neither she nor Levi were actually going to _care._

It didn’t take long when Hange entered. She wasn’t being as _clumsy_ as she had been the last time she was there. It was funny to think, that the last time she’d been there, there were more than three people sitting on that table. Levi and Nathalie both looked like _shit, indeed._ Hange didn’t want to add to their troubles.

Hange placed a hand on Levi’s and Nathalie’s shoulders. “My sincerest condolences you two,”

Levi just nodded and Nathalie cracked a smile. “Thanks,” She said and she was startled when Hange hugged her from behind, passing her hands around her chest and resting her cheek at the back of Nathalie’s shoulder.

“I’m here for you,” Hange said and Nathalie’s hand reached for Hange’s. She looked back and gave Hange a smile.

“It was my squad too, you know,” Levi said. He felt a slight irritation watching Hange being so _touchy_ with Nathalie. He frowned slightly, but covered it with the cup of tea that he brought up his lips.

Hange stood straight and placed a hand on her waist. “I’d hug you too, but I assumed you’d probably cut my arm off,”

“Your assumption’s correct,” Levi said dryly.

Nathalie moved her leg slightly and she winced. Her hand reached for her thigh, clutching on it in pain. Levi’s hand immediately found its way around her shoulders as he looked down at her worriedly.

“Don’t move,” He said.

“It’s my fault,” Eren said. “I made the choice, If I had thought this through, none of this would have-”

“You made a judgement call,” Levi cut him. He sighed. “Look, no one expects you to be clairvoyant,”

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Erwin’s voice came as the door opened and he walked in. But he wasn’t alone. Mikasa, Armin and Jean were with him. Eren stood up, saluting the Commander but he looked surprised seeing his friends there.

“What the… Why… Why are you all here?” Eren asked confusedly.

“We believe we’ve uncovered the Female Titan’s true identity,” Erwin said, and Eren gasped in surprise. “She won’t slip away this time,”

Hange snickered wickedly. “Excellent,”

They all settled around the bed, and they spread a large map of Stohess District on the table. Erwin started explaining. “The day after tomorrow, we’ll pass through Stohess District en route to the Capital. That’s when we’ll strike. It’ll be our first and only chance to do so. Once we’ve set foot in the interior, the government will assume custody of Eren, and the Scouts’ authority to continue operations will be limited. Thus, unless we wish to concede defeat, we must flush out the enemy now,”

Everybody nodded and turned their attention to the map where Erwin started explaining the plan.

“So, here’s what we do. While in Stohess, we use Eren as bait, luring the target into this underground passage. The deeper the better. Get her well beneath street level. That done, she should be easily immobilised even in titan form, if she transforms before reaching the tunnel, well, at that point, she’ll be your responsibility, Eren,” Erwin said.

“Right,” Eren nodded. “So, we know she’ll be in Stohess for sure?”

“Yes. Armin here identified her,” Erwin said turning at Armin. “She’s an MP, likely the one who caused the deaths of Hange’s and Nathalie’s test subjects,”

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. So, that _bitch_ had killed her squad _and_ her _beloved_ test subjects?! “I wanna skin her alive,”

“I agree,” Levi added.

“I’ve already planned the most agonisingly painful experiments that we can conduct on her,” Hange said breathlessly. A drool of saliva was already running down the tip of her lips. _Oh dear,_ suddenly, Nathalie felt finally her mood going up.

Erwin tried his best to ignore the three. “She was a fellow trainee in the 104th Cadet Corp,”

At that Eren gasped. “You can’t be serious! I trained with her?!”

“So, she’s a child,” Nathalie said.

“She’s one of us,” Erwin said. “Her name is Annie Leonhardt,”

“Where’s… where’s your evidence?” Eren asked.

“Obviously the Female Titan knew what you looked like before she attacked. But I have strong reason to believe, she’s the one who killed Sawney and Beane,” Armin said “Killing two titans at once requires a precision ODM strike. It only makes sense that the killer would’ve used the only gear they were most familiar with. On that equipment inspection, the gear she presented was Marco’s,”

Eren gasped. “I don’t understand. What’s Marco’s gotta do with all this?!”

“It’s unclear,” Armin said.

“Wait, so that Marco guy was a member of the 104th Cadet Corp as well?” Nathalie asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jean nodded.

“So, I’m assuming he's dead?” Nathalie asked.

Jean nodded again. “He is,”

“Do we know how he died?” Nathalie asked again as she raised an eyebrow, and at that Jean turned and looked at her wide-eyed.

“No, we don’t. No one was there when he did,” Jean said.

“But Annie was, wasn’t she?” Nathalie asked and everybody grew silent. “I’m guessing she used her own ODM gear to kill mine and Hange’s _babies_ , but before that, she had a reason to _kill_ Marco. Maybe he had figured her out before any of us. But it was a perfect chance to replace her ODM gear with his own,”

“She’s smart if that’s the case,” Hange rubbed her chin. “We’ll need a Plan C,”

“Let’s go through Plan A and B first,” Erwin reminded her.

“All I’m getting is that basically, we’re going after her without proof,” Levi said.

“But what if it’s not her?! What if she’s not the monster you all say she is?!” Eren cried out.

“If it’s not her, she’ll be cleared. End of story,” Mikasa said.

Erwin turned at Levi and Nathalie. “Levi, I need you with me. We’ll be getting Commander Nile’s attention. Nathalie, you and Hange will execute Plan C-”

“Nathalie stays with us,” Levi cut in. “You can’t expect her to fight at her current state,”

“It’s alright, Levi. I may have a broken ankle, but I can still use ODM. Besides, I’m positive that it’ll be better in two days from now,” Nathalie said giving him a reassuring smile, even though, he wasn’t reassured. _Not at all._ Levi tried to speak again, but Erwin cut.

“Then it’s settled,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Who’s your Captain, Nathalie?”

It was the last question she expected to come from Levi. Nathalie was sitting by the edge of her bed, untying the bandage from around her ankle. The tightness of the bandages was doing a pretty good job at helping her damaged tissue recover, but that didn’t mean it was good to keep it on at all times.

The others had left. Hange would be taking care of Eren till the day of the mission. Night had fallen, and the clouds prevented all moonlight from breaching through. Still, a couple of oil lamps and candles were bringing enough light to her room. Her crutches were resting nearby, and Nathalie was getting ready for bed, until Levi walked in with a visible frown and his hands crossed against his chest.

She looked up at him as she gathered the bandage in her hand. “What an odd question is this? You’re my Captain,”

“Which means you do as your Captain tells you,” Levi said and she was finally beginning to realise where he was going with this. “Why don’t you do as your Captain tells you?”

Nathalie sighed. “As I said before, you won’t have to worry about me joining Hange’s Squad in the upcoming mission. Using ODM doesn’t require using legs,”

“But the Female Titan is going to be there, and it’s going to be dangerous. Who knows how many of us are going to die again?!”

“It’s not going to be me, neither you,”

“How can you know that?!”

Nathalie rubbed her forehead tiredly. She knew he cared and he was worried and afraid, but _for goodness’s sake_ “You know better than anyone that you and I are the only ones who can take down the Female Titan single-handedly,” She hummed. “Maybe Mikasa too,”

“Then let _her_ do it. You either stay with me and Erwin, or you don’t come at all,”

Nathalie gasped “Wait! You can’t do that!”

“That is an order, Lieutenant,” Levi said before he headed for her door to walk out of her room and leave.

How _dare_ he?! Was he actually going to make her _regret_ not becoming a Captain and remain under his leadership? She couldn’t miss this. The Female Titan was going to be a _brilliant_ test subject. She couldn’t miss the chance to watch it being captured. And he was leaving?! Just like that? Did he even care about her _feelings_ on the matter at all?!

“Oh, don’t give me that crap. Get back here!” Nathalie cried out, but he just shut the door behind him, letting her rage in anger.

Nathalie groaned as she grabbed her crutches and stood back up, limping her way to his room where she knew she’d find him. She hadn’t realised how fast she was trying to walk. She was too occupied with cursing him under her breath to realise that she lost her step and was actually going to crush on the floor and _fuck up_ her ankle _even more._

But she never reached the floor. She opened her eyes to see Levi holding her. One hand supported her back, the other, her legs. He looked down at her with that very same aloof expression on his face, but there was something more to it. It was probably the _I’m always right_ look, or the _you can’t even walk, how can you expect yourself to fight the Female Titan_ look.

“Tsk,” It was the only thing that came from him. But her stubbornness got the better of her as it always did.

She smacked a hand on his chest, but he didn’t budge an inch. “Let me down!”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

Well, _logically_ it was a _terrible_ idea. She’d probably crush on her bum, but she could still crush on her ankle and worsen its condition, so _no,_ it wasn’t a good idea, but _still._ She groaned. She hated to admit it, but sometimes, he was right. _No. Most times_ , he was right.

“No,” She admitted. She was beaten. _Miserably_.

He sighed. “Stupid brat. I’m trying to take care of you,” He started carrying her back to her room, pushing her door open with his leg.

“I know. I know you care and you’re worried, but you need to trust me, Levi,” Nathalie said as he placed her gently down on her bed. Her hands reached for her bedsheets, but he was faster. He pushed the bedsheets over her body, covering her beneath before he sighed once more and sat beside her on her bed.

His hand found her face and cupped her cheek. His thumb was warm as it brushed gently through her cheekbone and his lips _almost_ curled up into a smile as he stared down at her. “That’s what they asked of Eren, and Eren chose to _trust_ them instead of transforming and ending it right there,”

That invisible smile on his face faded right away, and her own expression returned to one of sorrow. She knew he was talking about their squad. Their _brats_ that were now gone because of that decision. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked him to trust her at all. The weight of the guilt was just too heavy on his shoulders and she wished he’d just _let her_ carry some of it.

Her hand found his that was still cupping her cheek and she laced their fingers together. “Levi,” She drew his gaze back up at her own. “I’ll do as you ask. All I’m going to do is sit on top of the wall and watch. Is that okay?” She suggested. She was going to talk to Hange, and Hange was _sure as hell_ going to be understanding. Hange was always understanding when it came to Nathalie. Levi nodded. “But you need to promise me you’ll let me help you carry some of your weight. Our squad’s deaths were not just your fault. It was mine as well. Furlan’s and Isabel’s deaths were my fault as well-”

Levi shook his head. “I don’t want that for you,”

“I don’t want you to take it all by yourself,”

“I can handle it,”

“You can’t,”

This time was one of the many times that he realised, she knew him better than he knew _himself._ Levi sighed heavily. She was right. He couldn’t do this. _Not on his own._ He couldn’t go on with all those _suicidal_ thoughts inside his mind, and all that guilt that led him to despair in the nights. He _couldn’t sleep._ Not when their faces would pop up in his nightmares, and the looks of their relatives would haunt him like ghosts. But he didn’t want that for her. He didn’t want to have her _suffer_ as much as he did. He wouldn’t wish this for _anyone._ Especially _her._

He leaned in and buried his face in her neck. It was the last thing that he should have done, but he couldn’t keep himself. His hands slipped tightly around her and he brought their chests together. Her hands found his hair. Her fingers tangled into the messy locks of his pitch-black hair. It was always so comforting when she did that. Levi sighed in her neck and he shut his eyes, breathing her in. She was the only one he could clutch onto like this. She was the only one who understood him and knew him more than anyone. He loved her. _How could he not?_

“Alright,” He said as he pulled back and looked at her. He pressed a kiss on her forehead before he stood up and headed towards the door of her room. “Goodnight, Nat,”

“Goodnight, Levi,” 


	23. Catching the Killer

It was a sight to behold. The top of the walls was high enough to be able and see everything that happened in Stohess District. Nathalie was standing at the top, with her crutches in her hands, but still equipped in her ODM gear should anything go wrong. Hange had predicted that the Female Titan would probably try to escape if Eren fought her well enough in his Titan Form. Nathalie was just there to make sure that wouldn’t happen. Of course, she hadn’t told Levi about this. There was no way he’d let her come if he knew.

It took long for Eren to show up in his titan form. Hange’s Plan C worked well for a few minutes. For a moment, Nathalie was getting ready to switch on ODM approach her new most precious _test subject,_ but she broke free. She frowned. Hange probably didn’t have enough time to set enough traps and Nathalie wouldn’t blame her. They barely had any time to evacuate just a few buildings of civilians.

But then, yellow lightning shot through the air and Eren finally showed up. Eren was Erwin’s Plan B. It was going to work. It had to. Plan A and C were no longer an option. Still, Annie was a tough opponent to beat in hand-to-hand combat. Nathalie was sure that she had had definitely undergone some kind of training before coming _here._ And if she was _here,_ she definitely had a reason. Some top-secret mission. Erwin was right. Annie Leonhardt and her cooperatives had slipped in the walls through the chaos in Shiganshina when the wall was breached.

Nathalie knew there were more. Supposing that the Armoured and Colossal titans were like Eren and Annie, then there were at least two more that worked with Annie. She couldn’t figure out yet who they were, but she never got the chance to remove Reiner Braun and Berthold Hoover off her list of suspects. She knew she was probably being paranoid. It was like Jean had said. These two had even risked their lives for their fellow comrades, and their fellow comrades were supposed to be their enemy if that was the case, _right?_

What if one was the Colossal and the other was the Armoured titan? Nathalie groaned. She had zero evidence. It was all just a thought based on nothing but gut feeling. She didn’t know those kids, but she didn’t like them either. She was a great judge of character, but she could still be wrong. Still, she had lots of experience with people. She could tell who and what somebody was without the need to know them for a long period of time.

She never knew why she was so good at reading people. But for the record, she never had anybody to teach her how to read, yet she always knew how. She could read a book and instantly memorise it and understand everything with no need to reread it. There were some strange things about herself that she hadn’t taken much into consideration. Maybe there was more to it than she thought. 

She stopped thinking of these when she noticed the Female Titan and Eren fighting. They had approached the wall on a desperate attempt of the Female Titan to escape. The Female Titan grabbed herself on the wall. She dug her fingers in the bricks, creating small cracks and tearing off a few of the bricks revealing whatever was behind. Eren was trying to drag her back down, grasping tightly around her legs, but he too was wounded and lacking a couple of limbs that were slowly beginning to grow.

The Female Titan looked up at Nathalie as if she was begging for help. She was desperate. Her eyes were the ones of a desperate animal that was about to die. Still, that _bitch_ had killed off her comrades. She had killed off her precious _test subjects._ Nathalie wasn’t one to take revenge, but Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther and their families had done nothing to deserve this.

Nathalie dropped her crutches on the floor of the wall, and she jumped off switching on ODM. She hooked herself on the forearm of the Female Titan and she cut off all the fingers in one go. She went for the other hand, but Mikasa was already there. She cut off the fingers and Nathalie gave her a nod as the two of them hung from the wall as they watched the Female Titan growling as it crushed back down with Eren tearing her to pieces.

Hange and her squad had gathered all around. Erwin was probably being arrested. Nathalie’s eyes widened. Eren had opened up the nape of the Female Titan and he was about to _kill_ her. She gritted her teeth. It wasn’t a good idea to kill their _damn_ evidence. But Eren was still hesitating.

“Eren! Don’t do it!” Mikasa cried out.

 _Oh, fuck it._ Nathalie was about to jump off the wall and head for Eren, but she spotted Levi coming fast on his ODM. All he had to do, was give her an all too familiar look for her to know _exactly_ what he wanted her to do. He sliced off the nape of Eren’s titan, and Nathalie grabbed Eren in her hands, before she landed smoothly on the ground with the unconscious kid in her lap.

“It’s not a good idea to eat our key evidence, you idiot,” Levi growled.

“He barely got some control of himself this time,” Nathalie said before she checked for his temperature pressing her palm on the kid’s forehead. It wasn’t above normal. He was going to be okay. He was just exhausted. She gave the unconscious Eren a smile. “Good job, kid,” Even though, he and Annie had probably destroyed at least half of Stohess. Mikasa and Armin were standing there waiting for her to let them approach Eren. Nathalie looked up at the two and she gave them a smile. “Mikasa, Armin, I’ll leave Eren up to you,”

“Thank you, ma’am!”

Nathalie stood up with a slight wince. Her ankle was still slightly swollen and her crutches were on top of the wall at the moment, but Levi’s hand reached around her right away, and she pressed some of her weight on his shoulder. She limply made her way to Annie who had been surrounded by a large _cocoon_ of crystal. Nathalie hadn’t seen such material before.

Levi followed her. His hand was still around her. He was ready to pick her up should she do something stupid enough to make herself fall. Jean was banging on the crystal with his swords, trying to break it, but Nathalie doubted mere iron could do something on such material.

“Dammit! All the shit we’ve been through and this is what we get?!” Jean cried out angrily as he headed for loading another blade on his sword. “Annie! Wake up! C’mon! Face the music, you owe us! Don’t be a coward! I know you can hear me!”

“That’s enough!” Levi’s hand landed on Jean’s shoulder, stopping him right away. “It’s over,”

Jean gritted his teeth and he let go of his sword. Nathalie placed a hand on Jean’s other shoulder. “We’ll get her out of there. We’ll just have to figure out how,” Nathalie said reassuringly, and Jean slightly relaxed and he sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right, Nat,” Jean sighed heavily.

At that, Levi’s eyes slightly widened and he looked up at Nathalie with the _no one’s allowed to call you that but me_ look. Nathalie cringed and she mouthed at him silently _Not now!_ Nathalie sighed in relief when Levi’s expression turned back to that indifferent one, and she leaned down at the peculiar material that surrounded Annie from head to toe. It must’ve been some kind of protective mechanism. And if that protective mechanism existed, then that meant that the host of the Female Titan was important. The host was one and only, and should be protected.

“Someone get me a wired net! This thing belongs deep underground!” Hange ordered. Both Hange and Nathalie stared at the crystal that surrounded the girl and Hange sighed heavily. “We’ll never get to tie her down and experiment on her, will we?”

 _We definitely won’t_ Nathalie wanted to say, but instead, she just sighed and turned and looked at her friend. “I’m sure we’ll figure _something_ out,” Even though she could tell they both highly doubted that.

“If we can’t get any answers then what was the point of all of this. We’re left with nothing but countless casualties, ruined lives, and unanswered questions,” Hange frowned as she crossed her hands against her chest.

“Whatever happens with her, we will get answers one day,” Nathalie said. “We’ve never been this close to the truth in all of our history,”

“That is true,” Hange nodded before she turned at Levi and Nathalie. “Alright you two, better get back in HQ. I’ll handle this,”

Levi nodded and Nathalie gave her a smile. “Got it, Han-” Nathalie never got to finish the sentence when Levi picked her up bridal style, catching her by surprise. “W- What the hell, Levi!”

“I don’t expect you to limp your way to HQ. Provided it’s still standing,” Levi frowned a he turned around carrying her away.

Nathalie groaned and she allowed herself to relax in his arms and let him carry her. “You know I hate playing damsel in distress,”

“Can’t help it when you are one, can you?”

“Hey!” Nathalie smacked a hand on his chest, but it didn’t seem to bother him. Actually, she could’ve sworn, he was _almost_ smiling.

Levi had never tried teasing her, much less _anybody._ It was a massive waste of his time and energy, but he never thought she could be so amusing when annoyed. Still, Nathalie relaxed and her hands found their way around his shoulders. She pressed her cheek on his chest, listening to his calming heartbeat, as they passed through the ruined streets. The Military Police was out, helping out the wounded and pulling them out of the debris of what once must’ve been a great City.

Nathalie sighed heavily and Levi’s hands slightly tightened around her. “Don’t look,” he advised, and he was right.

She wouldn’t be able to sleep in the nights if she kept staring at the faces of the wounded civilians, nor the faces of the lost children who had been separated by their parents. Nor the bodies that Levi tried his best not to step on. But how can anybody ignore all that?

“Nat,” Levi drew her attention, and she finally looked up at him, and he looked down at her. “Focus on me,”

He wasn’t just asking her to do that. He was _ordering_ her to do it. He didn’t want her to face all that misery. It was the kind of misery that he had learned being used to, but he didn’t want that for her. He could handle watching their faces in his nightmares, but she didn’t have to. Nathalie sighed before she shut her eyes and nuzzled her nose in his neck. She let him hold her tight, and it almost felt like nothing could harm her there. It almost felt like they were not in a city full of debris and people who cried in defeat and terror, and pain, and loss.

Levi always made her feel safe, but this time… _this time_ was something else. Because even though Levi had to keep his eyes open and watch it all, he was still relieved and untouched by any of these miserable, horrific images of the destroyed city. Nathalie was safe, and that was enough for him to know. It was selfish and mean to think that way, but _he didn’t care._ He had suffered losses more than any of these people. The woman in his hands was the only one that he had left.

And Nathalie was the woman that he loved.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Hey,”

It was Mikasa’s voice the next thing that he heard. Then, the soft breeze brushed against his cheeks as it entered through the window and Eren slowly began to stir. He opened his eyes lightly and the first person to see was Mikasa. She had that worried look on her face that she’d give him whenever he’d do something _stupid_ and he’d get himself into trouble. Eren couldn’t say why, but he gave her a smile, that she returned right away.

Eren looked around and saw Jean standing with his back on the opposite wall of the room. His hands crossed against his chest. Armin was standing beside Mikasa and Nathalie was behind them with a patch of papers in her hands and one crutch that helped her keep standing.

“You’re in luck, kid. All blood test results look fine. Or even more than fine,” She took her eyes off the papers and she looked down at him. “And Erwin seems to have assigned you the only doctor who can run such tests,” She was talking about herself but she wasn’t really sure whether if anyone in there had figured it out. “I’m talking about me,” She pointed out and Jean nodded leaving out an

“Oh right,”

Nathalie tucked her glasses up her nose and she walked limply closer to the kid’s bed. “You should be fine after a little bit of rest. I suggest you eat something when you have gathered enough energy,”

“I’ll make sure of it,” Mikasa nodded and Nathalie gave her a smile.

“Well, I wish you good recovery. You’re in good hands, kid,” She placed a hand on Mikasa’s and Armin’s shoulders before she limply made her way out of the room. Before Nathalie had the chance to walk down the hall of the building, Erwin’s voice grabbed her attention.

“Lieutenant Nathalie,”

Nathalie turned around and approached him. “Yes, sir?”

“I will assign you and Section Commander Mike the protection of the 104th. You leave in a week from now. I suspect your ankle would have healed by then?”

Nathalie nodded. “Yes, sir,”

“Congratulations, then. You are now their Captain,”

Nathalie had to make a double-take. “Wait… what?!” 


	24. Danger

Levi hated this. He hated it more than he could bring himself to describe it. He knew it was just a _simple,_ 100% _safe_ assignment for Nathalie. She was going to be with the rookies. She was their Captain once again. The Headquarters were close to Stohess and well behind Wall Rose. But she was _there._ She was _far from him,_ and anywhere _far from him_ was absolutely dangerous. And he was stuck behind the Walls of Stohess with that _bastard,_ Erwin.

He had tried to object. He really had, but that _asshole’s_ decision was final, and, alas, both Levi and Nathalie trusted that _asshole_ with their lives. There have been a couple of days that she and Section Commander Mike were gone, and Levi was only starting to realise how dull and boring, and miserable his life could be without her around to spill her bullshit and get on his nerves. Alas, he just wished she was there to speak and say something. _Anything._ Even all those theories of hers on Titan or Human Biology, or all those strange, complex biology terms that she’d spill out every so often that no one could understand but her and Hange. He would listen to it all.

But his room in the Survey Corp HQ was just too quiet and he didn’t really have anything to do. He only wondered what she was doing _now_. It was evening, and he guessed she was probably cooking lunch for the _brats_.

And his assumption was correct.

“Lunch’s ready!”

The _children-_ _they’re at least 15 most of them-_ she had to remind herself. But they all looked so little in her eyes. She sighed. They were all gathered at the dining room around the couple of tables that were spread, and they were all chatting until that chatter was interrupted by Nathalie as she walked in with Sasha and Connie. The three of them were carrying trays with a couple of bowls of soup on top.

“You cook, Captain?” Krista asked confusedly as Nathalie served her a bowl.

“Well, the other choice was the porridge in the Survey Corp supplies, but I don’t think anybody would want that, right?” Nathalie said.

The sweet blonde girl gave her a smile. “Thanks, Captain!”

Nathalie patted her head. “No problem! Let me know if you like it,”

“Aw, man, Nat’s such a dope Captain. She didn’t even scold me for spilling all that salt on the soup,” Connie commented as he served the last two bowls at Reiner and Berthold before him and Sasha settled on the same table with their own bowls.

“She didn’t have to, she knew exactly how to fix it,” Sasha shrugged as she filled some soup on her spoon and took a slurp. She had to bite her tongue to keep a shout back. _It was so good._ She couldn’t even remember her mom making soup taste so good. “Oh my God,” She teared up. “This is so good,”

“Really?! I thought it’d be salty as hell since I-” Connie tried to say before he stuffed a spoon in his mouth and he groaned in satisfaction. “Oh, my fucking God, you guys need to try this,”

Reiner and Berthold started eating right away. Reiner raised an eyebrow. “So, did she run a restaurant before joining the Scouts or what?”

“Actually no,” Nathalie’s voice came from behind and they all tensed up. She gave them a smile. “At ease, kids. What have I told you?”

“That you’re a very damn chill person,” Connie answered with a smile before he moved aside making enough space for her to sit beside him.

“Exactly,” Nathalie said before she set off to eat her own soup. “Tell you what, there’s a whole lot of wild boars on the westside mountain. How about we go on hunting tomorrow?” She suggested. Everybody’s eyes widened.

“You can’t be serious!” Connie cried out surprised.

“OH MY GOD, YES, YES, YES PLEASE, I’m good at hunting!” Sasha cried out. “We’ll catch the biggest, fattest, juiciest boar we can find, I swear to God, it’s gonna be so, so, so fuckin’ tasty!” She was already drooling. Nathalie tried her best to hold back a laugh. Sasha was certainly the _hungriest_ of them all _._

“With all due respect, Captain, I know it’s going to sound weird but…” Reiner started. “…why are you being so nice to us? You’re not supposed to spoil us, are you?”

Nathalie realised he was probably right. She didn’t have a large experience as a Captain. She was still learning how to do it. But Erwin’s orders were clear and she knew they still stood. _Get close to them._ She still had suspects in the 104th Cadet Corp, and she had yet to flush them out.

But she knew exactly just what to answer. “I’m not trying to spoil you. I’m trying to establish relationships with you all. The strongest squad is a squad built on trust. I can’t expect you to put your lives on my hands if you don’t trust me,”

It may have been a lie, but it was an _honest_ one _._ It was what had made the Levi Squad the best squad amongst the Scouts. That until, it was ironically wiped out by that same _trust_.

“Makes perfect sense to me,” Connie said as he finished his soup.

Nathalie stood up and picked their bowls taking them back in the kitchen. It was time to put her ODM back on and head outside with Section Commander Mike. She had yet to get any evidence to support her suspicion on Reiner, Berthold and Ymir. She was going to get it. She was sure on that. For now, all that Nathalie had to do was wait. 

And wait she did.

Nathalie stared at the horizon where a couple of mountains and hills rested. The breeze was cold as it brushed across her face and she sighed satisfyingly. The sun would start hiding behind those mountains in a while. Section Commander Mike was standing beside her, on the same roof of the same building.

“Congratulations on your promotion, Nat,” He said as he munched on a cracker.

“Thank you, Mike. I tried avoiding that position long enough,” Nathalie said.

He chuckled. “No kidding. You were right though. Leading is a pain in the ass,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“You know, my village happens to be a little more south of where we are now,” Connie said. His head rested against the palm of his hand as he stared boringly outside the window. 

“Huh, the town where I’m from it’s pretty close by too,” Sasha said, pressing her cheek against the palm of her hand the same way Connie did.

Nathalie’s orders were clear and simple. Just _stay here. No need to train. No need to put on ODM._ All they had to do was just _sit on their asses_ for a couple of hours. Ymir and Krista were by the other table, talking with each other, whilst Sasha and Connie were both boringly staring outside the window. Reiner and Berthold were playing chess on the same table. There wasn’t really something to do.

Connie sighed. “Should probably ask Nat if she’d let me go see my people,”

“My people told me not to bother coming back until I’m normal so… there’s that,” Sasha said boringly and Connie chuckled.

“Folks where I grew up used to tell me I’m too puny to become a soldier. No question I had the brains for it. I was top ten in my class actually,” Connie said. “Somebody’s gonna be eating their words, that’s a promise,” He smirked.

“Connie,” Reiner started. “I’ll help you if you really wanna go,”

“Yeah?” Connie turned and look at his buddy. “Why would you do that?”

“Doesn’t this feel a bit strange?” Reiner asked. “We’re on standby. They won’t let us wear out uniforms, we can’t even train,” Reiner stood up and walked by window. He spotted the Section Commander and Nathalie standing by the roof of the opposite building in their ODMs and just staring to the horizon. “What’s even more suspicious, our superiors are armed to the teeth. We’re inside the wall, not the front line, so who exactly are we fighting?” Reiner turned at the other three.

Connie sighed boringly. “I don’t know, man, maybe there’s just worried about bears,”

“Sure, bears,” Sasha agreed.

Reiner sat back down to resume the game of chess with Berthold. “All you need for bears are guns,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Mike tensed up right away. Nathalie stood beside him and she looked up at him. “What is it?!”

“They’re here,” Mike sniffled and she had a feeling she knew what was going on. She had heard _footsteps._ Nathalie could never forget the sound of that loud, rhythmical thudding of the titans as they walked. Her hands fisted. It _couldn’t_ be. They were behind Wall Rose. If titans were there, then _that means…_ “Tomas! Ride out of here, take three couriers. Notify the districts!” Mike turned at his Lieutenant. “We’ve got multiple titans coming from the south. Wall Rose has been compromised!” 

Nathalie turned around and she spotted the titans as they approached. _No, no, no, no, no…_ She hooked her ODM on the opposite building where she knew her squad was. Nathalie opened the window and she looked at the alarmed faces of the children.

“Is everyone here?” Nathalie asked.

“What is it, Captain?” Krista asked worriedly.

“We’ve got company. Almost 500 metres from the South and closing. Titans are headed this way. There’s no time to suit up with your ODM gear. I want everyone on a horse. Evacuate everyone from the area,” Nathalie said hurriedly. They all looked shocked and scared. Probably too scared to move. She gave them a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, kids. Commander Mike and I will take care of them. We just need you all to run,”

“U- Understood, Captain!” Berthold said before Nathalie jumped away, and she headed back to stand beside Mike. He was giving orders to Nanaba, before she too jumped away to do as she was asked.

“It’s nine of them,” Mike said.

“So, Wall Rose has been breached,” Nathalie tucked her glasses further up her nose. “We never even got the chance to figure out what they are. If they’ve brought down Wall Rose, then we’re doomed,”

“We’re not. A person only loses when they give in. As long as we keep on putting up a fight, we haven’t been beaten,” Mike turned at Nathalie. “We’ll have the 104th split up into two teams. You and the others will lead them out here. I’ll buy you guys some time,” Mike said. He tried jumping off the roof, but Nathalie placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

“I’m staying with you. We’ll wipe them out and then join the others,” Nathalie said and he turned and looked at her.

He chuckled. “If something happened to you, Levi would never let me see the end of it,”

“Then let’s make sure we both make it out of here,”

Before they mounted their horses, something caught Nathalie’s attention. It was a set of bow and arrows in a quiver, abandoned in the yard of HQ. Sasha had said she was good with hunting, hadn’t she? Nathalie picked it up and approached the girl who had been preparing her horse.

“Sasha,” Nathalie caught her attention and she turned and looked at her Captain. “Here,” She handed her the bow and arrows. “You said you’re good with hunting, didn’t you?”

Sasha smiled widely before she saluted her. “Yes, ma’am! Thank you!”

“Good luck, soldier,” Nathalie gave her a smile before they mounted their horses and started riding away. The titans were already moving faster on them now. Nathalie gritted her teeth as she stared at them. _Dammit._ She couldn’t let any of them hurt her _kids._

“The second the titans reach the woods, we’ll split up! I want two separate teams. Recruits and soldiers alike in each unit. When I give the signal, we’ll scatter in different directions simultaneously. Get the word out to civilians. Do _not_ engage the enemy. Which one of you is most familiar with the area?” Mike asked turning at the others who rode behind him.

“Me, sir!” Sasha cried out. “My hometown’s just to the north of here. I know this region like the back of my hand! Connie too! Go on, tell him!”

Connie seemed shocked. His eyes wide as he stared blankly ahead. “My village. My village is to the south. That’s where the titans are coming from… I can lead you to nearby settlements, but afterwards, let me go home, Captain… please.”

Nathalie gritted her teeth. “Alright, Connie, guide the southern team, and then go home. Reiner, Berthold. You two will be going with him,”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“They breached the woods! The enemy is on top of us!”

“Scatter now!” Mike gave the order. Mike and Nathalie looked back only to watch the titans running hastily on top of them at full speed. The others gasped. Their eyes widened. They were being chased. “Gelgar! Take charge of the Southern Team! Nathalie, with me!”

Nathalie changed direction with her horse, and she followed Mike as the two of them turned back and headed straight for the titans.

“Uh… sir?” Gelgar gritted his teeth.

“Captain!” Krista cried out.

“Tell me they’re not using themselves as bait!”

“I’ll go with them. Help them out!”

“No,” Gelgar turned at his comrades. “Stay where you are. We can’t spare anymore soldiers. Give them some credit. Those two’s skills are second only to Captain Levi. They’re going to come back alive. Count on it!”


	25. The Titan Who Can Talk

Nathalie and Mike switched on ODM right away, leaving their horses back. Nine titans were many. But they weren’t too many for the both of them. Nathalie hooked herself on a tree, before she reached a ten metre one. She hooked herself at its back, before she cut off the nape. Mike had just cut off the nape of another one, but another one was about to grab him and eat him. Nathalie hooked herself on its hand, before it got to grab Mike.

She tore off its skin all the way to its shoulder. The creature shrieked in pain, before it tried to eat her, but Mike had already cut off its nape. The two of them headed for other two titans. Nathalie hooked herself on the centre of one's forehead. And she went straight for the eyes, slicing them both in half and blinding it, before she cut off the nape.

Mike headed for another one. It was smaller than the rest. He cut off its hand that was heading for Nathalie, and Nathalie cut off its nape whilst it was too busy with trying to eat Mike. The two of them landed on the roof of a building. Nathalie looked down at her blades. She had two more left. There were three more titans left but they weren’t attacking them. They were just staring at them. But there was something else.

There was a seventy-metre tall, covered in fur. Nathalie had never seen anything like it. “This one worries me,” Mike said.

“Me too. We’ve never seen one covered in fur,” Nathalie gritted her teeth. Her fingers tightened around the handles of her swords.

“No, Nathalie. We can’t fight this on our own,” Mike said placing a hand on her shoulder, before he whistled for his horse to come. “We’ve bought us more than enough time,” He said and he chuckled when his horse came running in high speed towards them.

Before the horse got to reach them, the huge titan grabbed it and they both gasped. Nathalie’s eyes widened. “It went… for the horse…” Was that thing actually intelligent? Nathalie was willing to believe that. It brought the horse up and looked at it. If it was intelligent, then she was willing to bet that it was a titan that someone was also stirring from beneath just like the Female Titan. Just like the Colossal and Armoured Titan. They had just captured Annie. Could that thing- or maybe- the guy stirring it… could they have come to free her? Annie?

“Ugly bastard’s going to-” Mike’s hold tightened around the handles of his swords as he tried to attack but Nathalie pushed him out of the way. That beast had just thrown the horse towards them. Nathalie pushed Mike out of the way landing on top of him, and his back, crushed against the roof of that house that was now half destroyed by his horse. That beast had thrown the horse with such power. There was no way they could defeat that thing all on their own. Mike looked down at her. Her body was wholly pressed on top of his own. “Did he just throw the horse at us?!”

“Are you okay?!” Nathalie asked as she stood up and lend a hand over to help him up. He took her hand and he stood up.

Mike did not answer her question. Instead, he threw a hand in front of her, urging her to stand protectively behind him when the beast approached. “You need to get out of here,”

“Like hell I will,” Nathalie frowned. “I’m not letting you get yourself killed,”

Mike opened his mouth to object, but another titan was heading to attack them. The two of them got ready to fight it off before a voice came and it stopped it from moving any further.

**“Wait,”**

That voice hadn’t come from neither of both. It hadn’t come from the other titans either. It had come from the large one. The tall abnormal. It could talk?! Nathalie wasn’t surprised. She remembered Ilse’s Notebook that she and Hange had found. Ilse was a Scout who had found a titan that had talked to him. Maybe this one could talk as well. This one showed signs of intelligence. If her assumptions were correct, the person stirring it had figured out a way to _talk_ even in titan form. That titan had also stopped another titan from eating them. Maybe he could order them around just like the Female Titan could. Mike was shocked though. His whole body shook, and his eyes were wide in terror.

The abnormal approached them. It only took a few steps, before it knelt down and looked at them. Its eyes were dark, with yellow irises looked down at them with a wicked smile on its face.

**“May I ask what you call that strange weapon of yours? That thing that’s attached to your waist and allows you to fly,”**

Mike was too terrified to form a response. Nathalie wouldn’t blame him. Her own hands shook as well. There was no way they could fight that thing, but it was intelligent. It was intelligent, and huge, and strong. She walked forward throwing a protective hand in front of Mike and urging him to stand behind her. He couldn’t speak at the moment, and Nathalie was quite certain she could speak their way out of this.

But she was totally against giving the enemy any more information. “We call it Omni-Dimensional Maneuvering Gear,”

 **“Huh. I see you use swords as well. You must have figured out the weak spots,”** The abnormal hummed before it leaned closer. Mike made a step back, but Nathalie did not back away. She couldn’t tell why, but she wasn’t scared of that thing. Sure, it was huge and powerful, but she knew someone was stirring it from the inside, and it was smart. If she was correct, he was only trying to take a better look at her. **“You seem to fit the description. What is your name?”**

It was way too arrogant of him to expect her to tell him her name. For all she knew, he was the enemy. “Why the hell would I answer that?”

The abnormal frowned before it turned at the other titans who were still standing idle around. **“Eat him,”** He ordered and the titans obeyed right away. Mike was too terrified to react. A titan caught him and he fought against its tight grip as it guided him to its mouth.

“Nathalie!” Mike cried out and she jumped to his rescue right away.

“Mike!”

She hooked herself on its nape, cutting it off. Mike landed on the ground before another titan went after him. Nathalie cut off its nape as well. Another one was coming from behind, before she hooked herself on its hand, and sliced her way to its shoulder. She cut its nape off. She did the same with the last one. There was blood spilled all over her face, and clothes. The lenses of her glasses were covered in it, but it had slowly started to vaporise. By the time she had slaughtered the last four titans, Mike’s screams caught her attention and Nathalie turned around only to see him being squished into the abnormal’s fist.

“Nat! Run! Get out here!” Mike screamed in pain.

“No!” Nathalie cried out as she tried to hook herself on the abnormal and fight it. She wasn’t going to let that thing kill her friend. She was _too tired_ of losing friends. But the beast talked, and she never got to attack.

**“Impressive. You’re a quick learner, aren’t you? You either answer my question, or you’ll watch me while I squeeze your buddy here to death,”**

Nathalie gritted her teeth. A tear ran down her cheek as she watched Mike struggling and screaming in pain whilst the titan crushed his insides. _Fuck it._ “Burgess!” She cried out and the titan stopped. “Nathalie Burgess. Now let him go!”

The beast hummed before he let go of Mike but kept his ODM. Nathalie rushed after him. She caught him, supporting him on his feet and she settled him in her lap. His whole body was bleeding. He was going to die of haemorrhage. She didn’t have the time neither the proper utensils to treat him at the moment. But that thing was still staring down at them and it could crush them beneath its feet any moment. Mike coughed out blood that ran down his neck and she grabbed his hand. He squeezed her hand and groaned painfully.

She gritted her teeth. _No._ She couldn’t allow that. She was the reason he was going to die. If only she had answered right away. Why were they doing this?! Why were they massacring them like this? Another tear slipped down her cheek and she looked up at the beast.

“You need… to run…” Mike stuttered.

 **“Never thought the Burgesses would survive,”** The abnormal frowned.

She could think later about what the hell he meant with this. Nathalie just looked up at him and asked “Why are you doing this?! What have we done to deserve being slaughtered like this?!” she cried out, even though something told her he wasn’t going to give her a clear answer.

And she was right. He didn’t speak at all. He just stood up and walked away. But it was still weird. Why didn’t he kill them? Mike was dying, but he didn’t kill her? Was there an actual reason to spare her life? _Never thought the Burgesses would survive?_ Did he know her? Did he know things about her family?

Nathalie didn’t give a _shit_ at the moment. She had killed all other titans, so as far she knew no one else was threatening them. The smoke from their carcasses had started covering everything, and half of the buildings in the Headquarters were ruined, but she didn’t care.

“Tell Nanaba…” Mike coughed harshly once more. His blood flooded his mouth. “…tell her I… I-”

“No, no, no, no, you go tell her yourself. I’m pretty sure I can find something in HQ and treat you, you just need to help me carry you-” Nathalie’s voice trembled, but he cut her.

“Nathalie, I’m… I’m going to rest,” She noticed Mike’s hold around her fingers slightly loosening and she looked down at him. His eyes were staring blankly at the sky and the thought struck her right away.

“Mike?” Her hand reached for his face. She did not care for his blood that drenched her clothes and coloured her hands. He did not respond. She cupped his cheek. “Mike!” She received no response and she checked for his pulse at his pulse point on his neck. _Nothing._ She couldn’t breathe when the realisation hit her. Her bloody hand reached for her nose as if she was trying to keep back a sob that was caught in her throat. Tears slipped down both her cheeks as she looked down at him. What was she going to tell to his squad? Could she really face them and tell them it was her fault their squad leader had died? What was she going to tell to Nanaba?

Nathalie had to keep moving. She couldn’t stay there. Titans could attack any moment. But she didn’t care. She did give Mike a burial, and replenished her ODM from whatever she could find in whatever was left in the HQ, before she whistled for her horse. It was dead in the night when she went out to search for the others.

She only wished Levi was there. He’d help her feel reassurance. Safety. She blinked a tear away as she rode out in the open in the middle of the night. A titan could eat her any moment. 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It was night when the news reached Stohess District.

“Wall Rose has been breached! I repeat! Wall Rose has been compromised!”

Levi’s eyes widened. He was sitting in his room in the Survey Corps HQ when the voice of the scared soldier reached his room from the hall. He stood up on his feet. Nathalie was there. Nathalie and the rest of the brats were there. He knew Mike was with her, and he knew Mike would protect her with his life, but still, it didn’t reassure him. No one could protect her as much as he could.

He couldn’t afford to let himself _panic._ He couldn’t afford _not to think_ clearly. But he couldn’t stay there. He didn’t care whether it was night. He didn’t care whether the titans would be swarming behind Wall Rose and the place would be filled with nothing but death and danger. He had to go. And he had to leave _now._ Right _now._

Levi got the order to go to Erwin’s room. He hurried. He had no time for Erwin’s _orders_ and _time-wasting_ speeches. Erwin used everyone to get what he wanted done and Levi never defied an order from him, but this time… _this time,_ Nathalie’s life was in danger cause that _bastard_ had assigned her to be the Captain of those brats, and like the idiot that Levi was, he had _let her._

Levi barged into Erwin’s room. Erwin had been staring at the darkness that spread in Stohess’s streets from his window. “You’re going?” He asked. 

“I’m just letting you know that _I don’t give a fuck_ about your orders. I'm going after her,” Levi said.

Erwin turned and gave him a smile. “I expected nothing less from you. Hange and her squad will be joining you. She has a plan,”

“I don’t care-”

“You can’t move out in the dark on your own, and you know it, Levi,” Erwin cut him sharply.

"Tsk," Levi scoffed. He hated how this man was always right.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Section Commander! Why are you taking so long!” Moblit cried out as he stopped hastily behind Hange.

She was staring at that hardened piece of Annie’s titan form that she had gathered. She had placed it beneath the microscope and she couldn’t help staring at it. There was something so familiar about that piece and that material that was wrapped around Annie, protecting her. _What if the walls are made of that same material?_

“Section Commander!” Moblit cried out again.

“Shut up, Mobby! I’m in the middle of something important here!”

Hange couldn’t get to stand much longer with her eye on the lenses of her microscope when someone grabbed her by her shirt and pushed her against the wall. Her back crashed violently against the rough cement and she looked down only to see Levi giving her a deadly look.

“Get your ass moving,” Levi growled.

“Captain! With all due respect-” Moblit tried to say but Levi cut him.

“Nathalie can be getting eaten by a titan right now, don’t you understand?!” Levi grip tightened around Hange’s shirt as he pushed her harder against the wall. He was right. She could figure this out after they’d make sure her fellow scientist and the rookies were safe.

“You’re right,” Hange said and Levi finally let go of her shirt. Hange turned at Moblit and she slipped her glasses back in position. “How’s our guest?”

“He’s ready, Section Commander,”

Levi didn’t like this. He didn’t care about taking that Pastor with them. He didn’t care about taking the brats with them. He only wanted them to get moving. They walked out in the yard, meeting the rest of the soldiers as they ran all around making preparations, and Pastor Nick was amongst them.

Eren, Armin and Mikasa were sitting at the back of a carriage, and Hange with Pastor Nick and Levi sat opposite of them. “Open the gate!” Came the order. Everybody was holding torches. They were about to go on an Expedition in the middle of the night.

“The state of Wall Rose is unclear!” Erwin said as he urged his horse to turn and look at his men. “We’ll be taking the safest passage, but we’ll leave everything up to Eren should we get ambushed,” Erwin turned and started riding away. “Let’s move out!”

“Yes, sir!”


	26. Evidence

Nathalie couldn’t make out whether it was the cold that made her hands shake, or whether it was the _horror._ Night had fallen everywhere. There was that deafening silence all around. Not even the clouds wouldn’t allow the moonlight shine her way. She had a torch in her hand, but it wasn’t enough. A titan could have been right on top of her and she wouldn’t even have noticed it. She couldn’t afford to let herself get eaten. She had replenished her swords and her gas. She was ready to fight a battalion of them, but they could still sneak up on her. Of course, she knew it was night and there wasn’t as much danger as there would be during daylight, _but still_.

She had seen that titans could be active even without daylight. She could get eaten any moment, but _no._ Nathalie gritted her teeth and her grip tightened around her torch. She couldn’t _let_ herself _get eaten._ If she died, she wouldn’t know whether her squad was safe. If she died, she’d never get to see Levi again. That thought got her breath caught in the middle of her throat. She didn’t want to think of what kind mess Levi would be if she were to die.

But there was something else. She couldn’t tell how long it’s been since she had left HQ, but she could tell there had been hours, and no titan had come up to her. Not even a single one. If Wall Rose had been breached, then the territory should be crawling with them, but yet, she hadn’t encountered not even one. Then again, she remembered that the wall in Shiganshina was breached through the gate, not the _actual_ wall.

For someone to break the wall, they’d have to hit a gate, and the one with the enough hardened skin to do that would be the Armoured Titan. But if she was to follow her suspicion that the Armoured Titan was either Reiner or Berthold, then none of both could have done it. They had been under her and the Mike Squad’s supervision at all times. And there was another thing. She remembered Hange screaming about how the walls hid titans inside right before Nathalie departed for the HQ of the 104th. Nathalie had promised her they would look into it together once she’d get back.

But she remembered staring at the hardened crystal that hid Annie beneath. If the walls were made of that material, then they were _indestructible_. Unintelligent titans, couldn’t possibly have enough power to break an indestructible wall. But _what about that abnormal?_ That furry beast that had killed Mike right in front of her. What if that was the one to breach the wall? But still, it didn’t have any of that _hardening._ Not for all she knew.

She started doubting that Wall Rose had been breached at all. But that raised the question. _How_ did the titans get in here?

Nathalie stopped thinking of all of these when she noticed torchlight not further ahead. She urged her horse to approach them and she let out a sigh of relief when she realised that it was actually the two teams. It was her squad led by the four members of Mike’s Squad.

She had a cut on her cheek, but it had stopped bleeding. Nathalie had made sure she’d take bandages and at least four more daggers with her. Who knows what was going to happen? If they were attacked, they would have to make it through the entire night, and she knew her blades wouldn’t be enough. Nathalie’s clothes were still painted in red. Mike’s blood was still sticky on her skin. She didn’t have the time to wash it off. She barely got the time to refill her gas tank and grab more blades and daggers.

She knew she couldn’t use daggers to fight a titan, but if she was proven correct about Reiner and Berthold, then all she needed was a dagger to take them both down. Levi had taught her _well_.

The others gasped when they saw her and rode hastily on their horses till they reached her. “Captain!” Connie cried out.

“Nathalie! Are you okay?!” Krista cried out worriedly.

She wouldn’t blame their worry. She was still covered in Mike’s blood. “I’m alright, kids,” Nathalie gave them a reassuring smile before she turned at the Mike Squad. “Gelgar, Nanaba, status report,”

“We’ve been searching all around Wall Rose, but we found no breach. And we met no titan on our way,” Gelgar explained.

“Captain, where’s Mike?” Nanaba asked and it was the question that Nathalie didn’t want to answer. How could she face them and tell them that she had let him die? Nathalie gritted her teeth and she took a deep breath, swallowing down her tears and the pain.

“He didn’t make it,” Nathalie said as coldly as she could manage, even though their eyes widened, and their fingers tensed around the reins of their horses. Nathalie turned around and she looked at a small castle that could be finally seen with the help of the moonlight once the clouds moved away. It looked tall enough and it was definitely safer than just being out in the open. “This is where we’ll be spending the night,” Nathalie urged her horse to start moving and the others followed her.

“Yes, ma’am!” 

It didn’t take long when they reached it and rested their horses outside. They walked into the castle, that seemed to be abandoned, and the kids made a fire in the lower floor. Nathalie and Mike’s squad climbed at the top, and walked out at the tower. It was tall enough and the moon was finally out, allowing them to see should the titans be nearby. Nathalie could say why the other four were staying silent. They had just lost their Commander. And it was her fault. She sighed heavily and she placed one hand on Nanaba’s shoulder. Gelgar was there too, whilst Lynne and Henning had taken over the other tower, keeping watch over the other side.

“Mike was an exceptional soldier. His abilities surpassed mine,” Nathalie said and they both turned and looked at her. “He wouldn’t have died if it wasn’t for that abnormal,”

Gelgar gasped. “You encountered abnormals?!”

“No. It was just this one. It was at least seventy metres tall. Powerful, smart. It talked. It’s unlike anything we’ve ever encountered,” Nathalie said gritting her teeth.

“What did it say?!” Gelgar asked.

“It asked for information about our ODM. And-” Nathalie cut herself. She remembered the words of the abnormal. 

**_“You’re a quick learner, aren’t you? …never thought the Burgesses would survive,”_ **

_What the hell_ did he mean by that? The person inside had recognised her, that was for sure. Nathalie knew it wasn’t the time now to solve _puzzles._ But once she’d get that information to Hange and Erwin, she doubted they’d want her to let other people know.

“…I’m sorry,” Nathalie said, turning at the two. “I failed to save your Commander. I’m sorry, guys,”

“It’s alright, Captain,” Nanaba sighed heavily and she shut her eyes briefly, before she turned her back on her and looked back at the valley that spread before them.

“You should go get some rest, Captain Nathalie,” Gelgar suggested. “We’ll keep watch and notify you right away should anything happen,”

Nathalie nodded before she turned around and walked downstairs. The kids were no further ahead, but something caught her attention. It was the ashes of a turned off fire, and a few cups were left lying abandoned on the floor around it. She walked towards them and picked a cup in her hand. It wasn’t warm, but whoever was there it hadn’t been all that long ago. The leftover wood of the fire hadn’t yet collapsed entirely into ash. She only wondered if the man inside the beast titan was the one living there.

If the beast titan was indeed controlled by a man on the inside, then that man was the exact same as Annie and Eren. What if that guy worked with Annie? If that was the case, then Reiner and Berthold worked with that guy as well. Of course, she still had no evidence that those two were working with Annie and the beast titan. She didn’t even know if the beast titan was connected with Annie. She groaned.

She needed evidence. _I might as well find it now._ She walked down the stairs but she never reached the bottom. The fire that her squad had set was bringing enough light and Nathalie stood silently on the top step of the stairs right above them. She just needed to hear what they’d say.

“Connie, what about your village?” Ymir asked.

“Totally destroyed. It’s been totally crushed filled with nothing but rumble,” Connie answered.

“I… I’m sorry,” Ymir sighed.

“Nobody got devoured though. It almost looked like they all got out, so there’s a silver lining at least,” Connie said hopefully.

“I thought that you said it was destroyed?” Ymir asked confusedly.

“Well, the houses and stuff were, but the people must’ve all escaped,” Connie said. “The horses were still there but… I mean they had to. The thing is, we didn’t see any blood anywhere. Not even a drop. That’s the only logical explanation. Still though, something I can’t get out of my head. There was a titan on top of our house. Just lying there, staring at me. It couldn’t move on its own, but I just… I’ve no idea why but… it reminded me of my mom…”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. She always counted the theory that titans might have been people that had just turned into titans somehow. Their biology wasn’t the same, but it was still _pretty damn_ close. Connie had just said they hadn’t seen _not even one drop of blood_ in his village, but the houses were still destroyed as if it had been raided by titans. If there were no people in the houses, then why would the titans head there to eat them? If they had managed to escape, then why were their horses still there? 

Could the villagers of Connie’s hometown actually have turned into titans? And if they had, how? Nathalie took out her notebook right away. It was small enough to store it in a back pocket with a small pencil. She started scribbling down her assumptions in her messy, rushed handwriting. The beast titan had actually shown that he could command titans to his will when it stopped other titans from eating her and Mike. Could have the beast titan actually _turned_ the people of Connie’s village into titans?

If that was the case, she had killed _people_. She had killed humans who had been turned into titans. But what if that was the case with all titans? Nathalie had always suspected that titans could have once been people that turned like this, but she didn’t know. She had no evidence on this either. It almost felt like she knew stuff without reading them somewhere or supporting them on some reference. It was just that _gut feeling_. That unbelievable surety that what she _just_ knew was right.

“Connie, what did I tell you? It was just your imagination-” Reiner tried to say, and Nathalie smiled as she wrote down the conversation. _There_ was her evidence. At least _some_ of it. Some evidence was better than _no evidence_. Reiner was trying to hide something, wasn’t he? But he was cut by Ymir.

And what caught Nathalie’s attention the most, that made her stop writing, was Ymir as she started laughing and making fun of Connie. Nathalie didn’t know those kids as much as she’d wish to, but for the few days that she knew them, she could tell, that Ymir wasn’t one to laugh _that much_. She wasn’t one to make fun of people and talk on her own for so long. She wasn’t one to just start talking out of nowhere.

Was Ymir trying to hide something? Was she trying to make Connie doubt himself and that gut feeling that told him that _that titan was his mother?_

“Ha ha, yeah, have your fun. I guess I was kinda asking for it,” Connie facepalmed his forehead and sighed heavily.

Ymir continued. “Don’t stop there, if mother darling is a titan, then it’s only safe to assume that dear old daddy is too. Basic biology, think about it, how else could they-”

“Okay, I get it!” Connie cried out. “Shut up and go to sleep,”

Ymir stood up and yawned. “No thanks. I’ll go see if I can find something edible in here,” She turned around and started walking upstairs on the floor that Nathalie was.

Nathalie stood up and fended out of sight right away. The building was dark. It was easy to hide in the shadows. Nathalie’s back pressed against the wall as she watched cautiously Ymir entering another room nearby. She hadn’t noticed her. It didn’t take long when Reiner joined her, entering into that same room. Nathalie raised an eyebrow as she walked silently cautiously towards that room. She stood outside the mildly closed door. It was enough to hear what they were saying.

“Ymir, what are you doing?”

“Huh, seriously? What are _you_ doing? Here to ravage me? Don’t take this personal but I didn’t think you’re all that into girls,” Ymir joked.

“Really? And since we’re on the subject, didn’t think you were all that into guys,” Reiner said raising an eyebrow.

Ymir chuckled before she turned back to what she was doing. “If you really wanna know I’m scavenging for leftovers. I’d prefer not to meet my maker on an empty stomach,”

“Look, the whole thing earlier with Connie,” Reiner said and Nathalie started writing down on her notebook. “Were you teasing him to get his mind off of things? It would be great if you keep that up. The less he dwells on his family right now the better,”

“What are you talking about?” Ymir asked confusedly and Nathalie raised an eyebrow. She actually didn’t know? _Guess it’s time to remove her off the list of suspects._ “Huh! This might be good. Herring’s not my favourite, but whatever,”

“Herring, huh? Can I see?” Reiner asked.

“Help yourself,”

“I can’t believe there’s canned food here-”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. _Canned… what?_ She couldn’t believe this. Her suspicions were correct. “Funny. I don’t remember for a certain contraption to exist that can compress food like that,”

Both of them tensed up. She had figured them out. Reiner had a feeling that Captain Nathalie’s intelligence could be a problem. But he didn’t expect Ymir to know _so much._

“It’s in another language too, isn’t it?” Nathalie stole a look at the small can that apparently stored food for _days_ keeping it intact. _Genius._ She made a mental note to herself to let Hange know -if she made it out of there alive.

Reiner and Ymir exchanged looks before they both attacked her. Nathalie avoided a punch from Ymir, bowing back. Nathalie’s hand reached for a dagger. She drew it out, nearly slicing Reiner’s throat if he wasn’t fast enough to lean back. Ymir tried to knee her on the stomach, but Nathalie’s feet slipped beneath her, urging her to lose her balance and fall down. Nathalie stabbed the dagger on Ymir’s shoulder, keeping her stabbed on the floor and Ymir cried out in pain.

She could almost feel as another dagger was coming her way. She turned around only to see Reiner launching at her. Nathalie moved out of the way just in time. She avoided all attempts that he made with his own dagger. Why would a recruit have a dagger with him?! To help him transform? Was that it? With a dagger, cutting across his palm, he could easily bring his blood in contact with iron and transform into a titan anytime. _That was it_. He was either the Armoured or the Colossal Titan.

It was beyond doubt, that he was stronger than her. He knocked her against the stone wall and without giving her any time, he stabbed the dagger at the left side of her lower belly. Nathalie gritted her teeth, choking back a cry and suppressing the pain that had started spreading. Her blood slipped out of the fresh wound and coloured her clothes. She looked up at the soldier and she couldn’t tell whether he _wanted_ to do this, or whether he was being _forced_ to do it _._

 _Fuck it._ Nathalie’s hand reached for his own. She untangled his fingers from the stem of his dagger and she drew the dagger out. The pain stung harshly from the absence of the blade that had just torn through her organs. Nathalie didn’t care. She ignored it. She had undergone through worse pains than that. She had fought with much less than what she had now. She had survived the Underground for _decades._ She had survived five years in the Scouts. This kid was nothing she couldn’t handle.

She punched him hard in the gut. Her elbow found his cheek, and before he had the time to recover from the sharp blows, he realised his back was pressed against the wall, and she was pressing his own dagger on his neck, making his skin bleed slightly.

“Tell me, Reiner, why did I have to watch as your titan buddies beheaded my best friend?!” She pressed the dagger even harder on his neck. “Why did I had to tell Eld’s pregnant wife that her husband had just been killed by the Female Titan?! Why must this woman live and raise a child now all on her own?! Why must we all fight for our lives and keep watching our friends and family die?! Why!?” Nathalie cried out, staring at the terrified, wide eyes of the man that she had cornered. She leaned closer. “If we’re being punished about something that we did to your people, then we at least deserve to know whatever the hell that is!”

Reiner did not speak, even though he had parted his lips and he wanted to say something. He was both shocked, and terrified, but again, _he was the enemy_. Or at least, he was _working_ for the enemy.

“Everyone, wake up! Get to the tower immediately!”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. Titans were on top of them, weren’t they? She dropped the dagger on the floor, and her hand reached for a bandage that she had taken with her from the HQ. She tied it tightly around her belly and she leaned down with a wince drawing out the dagger from Ymir’s shoulder.

“Provided you too are a titan-shifter…” Nathalie hadn’t realised how breathless she was until she started talking. It was probably because of her wound and the blood that she was slowly losing. She had slowed it out with the bandages. _Thank goodness_ she had taken them with her. “…that wound should heal up in… less than two minutes,”

Nathalie stored her dagger back in its case around her waist, before she walked out of the room. It was hard not to limp, but she managed it. She had to _fight_. Hopefully, the darkness of the night would be enough to cover her bleeding wound from the eyes of her worried comrades.

Nathalie reached the top of the tower with the other four and soon all the others joined. The place was crawling with titans. They had them surrounded. Nathalie had to ignore the pain that radiated from her wound and she had to focus.

“Bother someone else! I should be drinking right now, dammit!” Gelgar cried out as they all stared down at the titans that approached them. “You’re standing between me and a tankard of ale!”

Nathalie turned back at her squad. “Kids! You stay where you are. We’ll handle this,” She drew out her blades.

“Let the ODM gear do what it was designed for!” Nanaba and the others drew their swords and got in their stances.

Nathalie looked down at the titans and she gave the order. “Attack!”


	27. Near Death Experience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG CAN I JUST SAY
> 
> THANK YOUUUUUU for all those kudos, and all those awesome comments!!!! You guys are a massive support that keeps me writing this story!!!! Thank you so, so much, cuz -as I've said before- this story wouldn't exist without all those incredible readers and all that awesome support!!! 
> 
> Thanks, y'all ❤️ 
> 
> Enjoy!

They were too many. Nathalie had no idea how many she had killed. She was too occupied to keep count. The Mike Squad were skilled. She expected nothing less from them. She was glad they were there to help out. Erwin had made a wise choice letting the Mike Squad protect the 104th. But still, the titans were many. They were _too_ many. They had them all surrounded and the only safe place was the top of the tower, that the titans could learn how to climb if the five of them didn’t fight back.

Nathalie could almost feel her wound stretching with every single stunt. Every jump and attack. Her blood was hot as it rushed down her stomach. It had almost reached her knee. The bandage wasn’t going to delay the bleeding for much longer. _No._ Nathalie gritted her teeth. She had to keep fighting. She couldn’t let _any_ of these titans kill _anyone else._ She had failed to save Mike, but she wasn’t going to let herself fail to save his kids. His squad.

Gelgar caught the attention of a titan that was trying to climb the tower. The titan reached up for the bait, whilst Nanaba sliced off its nape. The large titan landed on top of three smaller ones, smashing them beneath its large mass. Lynne and Nathalie sliced off the napes of whoever titan was beneath the carcass and was trying to break through.

“Oh no!” Lynne cried out and Nathalie looked at the entrance of the castle. The wooden door had been broken open. Nathalie gritted her teeth.

“I’ve got the kids, you keep any other titan from entering!” Nathalie ordered as she hooked herself at the tower and drew herself up.

“Yes, ma’am!”

Nathalie reached a window where she could see a titan standing in the inside. The kids were there staring wide-eyed as the creature turned around and set off to devour them. They were too scared to move. Nathalie threw the hook on the titan, stabbing it at its back. She cut off its nape before she drew the creature out and pulled the hook back, letting its carcass land back down on the ground. Nathalie looked at the kids as they all slightly relaxed and sighed in relief. Their wide eyes met her own.

“Is everyone okay?!” Nathalie asked worriedly.

“Reiner’s arm!” Krista cried out as she approached the man. “Bone’s most likely been fractured,”

Nathalie frowned. “How’s it been fractured?”

Reiner shot her a glare but Connie fell between them. “He saved my life!”

“Is that so?”

Nathalie couldn’t even understand why in the world would Reiner and Berthold and _Annie_ risk their lives for the enemy. _What the hell is wrong with those kids?_ Were they regretting causing so much death and destruction on their comrades?

“Good job, soldier,” Nathalie tossed a bandage from her pocket to Krista who caught it and set off to tie it around Reiner’s hand right away. “We’re not gonna hold out for long. The titans are too many,” Nathalie tried to turn around and jump back into battle. She winced and her hand reached for the wound on her stomach. “But by God, we’ll fight to the end,” She turned her head and looked at them over her shoulder. “I need you all to stay safe. Go to the top. If me and the others are wiped out, get to the horses and run. Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Nathalie wiped a drop of sweat that ran down her forehead with the back of her sleeve, before she jumped back down to the fight. She landed at the shoulder of a titan, before she sliced off its nape. Another one was about to grab Gelgar while he was too busy dealing with another. Nathalie hooked herself on its hand, slicing all the way to the nape. The creature shrieked. Nathalie hooked herself on another one’s head. Its hands reached for her, to grab her and eat her, but Lynne sliced off its nape.

Nathalie sliced the fingers of another hand that went for her. She landed on the arm and she ran towards the nape. Another hand was heading for her from another titan. Nanaba sliced off the limb and Lynne went for the nape. Nathalie finished off another titan and she went for another, and _another… and another._

It went on for a while. A large wave of exhaustion washed over Nathalie as she and the others landed back on the tower to catch their breath. The ground beneath them was filled with the dead bodies of titans. But then something came towards them. It must have been a boulder It came fast, and powerful. It landed on the other tower where Lynne and Henning were. It knocked them out, killing them _instantly_. Nathalie looked at the direction that the boulder had come from. Another one came, killing off their horses. Taking out their only chance to escape. It was the _beast_ titan. She gritted her teeth. _Bastard._

“No! Lynne!”

“Henning!”

“Go get the bodies! I’ve got you two covered,” Nathalie cried out and they did right away.

Multiple titans headed straight for them. Nathalie got in the way, Hands reached for her and she sliced off the fingers of one with one strike. She hooked herself on the forehead of one, slicing off its eyes. Buying herself enough time to go for another one. She killed off a smaller one, and headed straight for the blind one, taking it out. She went for another, _and another…_ Exhaustion washed over her once more. Nathalie lost her step on the shoulder of a titan that she was about to take out. A hand was already heading for her and it grabbed her.

Her mind, hazy. It took her a minute to realise she was about to get eaten. It was after she looked at the impatient jaws of the titan that she realised she was about to die. Her eyes widened. _No. This isn’t how I go!_

She cut off its fingers, breaking herself free. Nanaba and Gelgar were flying towards her to help her out. Nathalie hooked herself back on the tower and she caught her breath. Everything was spinning. It was probably the blood loss. She didn’t know how long the others fought before they hung themselves back on the tower beside her and took a break.

“Captain… our tanks’ running low on juice,” Nanaba said breathlessly turning Nathalie. Nathalie’s hand pressed on her wound. Nanaba gasped. “You’re wounded. You need to get back on the tower!”

Nathalie shook her head. “No… I’m staying,” She was breathless. She turned at the other two. Lynne and Henning had already died. She couldn’t let Gelgar and Nanaba die too. She couldn’t fail Mike. “These are the last… set of blades… that you got… right?” Nathalie asked breathlessly.

“I’m afraid so,”

“Captain…” Gelgar said “…I don’t think we did too bad,” He didn’t look good. “What’s a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?”

“Gelgar, this isn’t the time for-”

“I’m sorry, Nanaba… I must’ve bashed my head,”

“Gelgar… you need to get to the top. Leave us. We can handle this,” Nathalie ordered.

“I’m sorry, Captain, I- I don’t think I can… go on…” Gelgar let go and he fell off right in the hands of a titan.

“Gelgar!” Nanaba cried out and she followed after him.

Nathalie shut her eyes. He was going to die. They were all going to die. But it wouldn’t harm delaying it for just a while longer. She jumped off as well and she sliced the fingers of the titan who had grabbed him. She grabbed Gelgar and took him to a nearby opening in the tower. She shook her head, urging herself to clear her blurry vision, and she jumped into the fight again.

It was Nanaba’s screams that drew Nathalie back to reality. A titan was _tearing her apart._ “Nanaba!” Nathalie screamed as she went straight for the titan that was munching on her legs. Then Gelgar’s screams drew her attention. Another titan had grabbed him and was about to eat him.

 _No… no, no, no, no…_ She had led those kids to their deaths. Saving Nanaba was too late now, and when she headed for Gelgar it was too late again. They both screamed as their limbs were being torn off their bodies and Nathalie had to watch.

A tear slipped down her cheek. Her one hand was grasping tightly around the handle of her sword, the other on her wound. The pain was still strong, but she had almost gotten used to it. All she could stare at was Nanaba and Gelgar as they were being _devoured._ There was that emotion that she thought she had gotten used to it. _Fear._ She looked down. Her blades were completely worn out and she had no spares. Her tank only had enough gas to get her to the tower, and the children were on the tower staring worriedly down at her. What the hell was she going to do? How was she going to fight them all on her own?

_Levi…_

_Where are you?_

Was she ever going to see him again? Did he even know that this was happening? Or was he going to find her body randomly after she’d be missing for days? _No._ He was on his way. She was sure he was. She was sure they were going to show up any moment. She just had to hold out for a little longer. Fighting the titans was no longer an option. Not on ODM at least.

Nathalie hooked herself back on the tower and she landed at the top. The moment she got there. She collapsed on her knees. She hadn’t realised her legs were _that_ weak to hold her. Her hand was still tight around her wound that continued bleeding endlessly. She looked up at their terrified eyes. _Dammit._

“Nat… what are we going to do?” Connie asked.

He had every right to be scared. They all had that right. They also had the right to blame her for their current situation. She was just a terrible Captain. She should not be allowed to lead anyone again.

“My ODM is useless now,” Nathalie started untying it off her body and abandoning it on the floor. “Running is no longer an option. Our horses have been wiped out,”

“It was that furry bastard!” Connie cried out.

“How’re we supposed to fight them without ODM? The Captain’s wounded!” Krista cried out as she knelt beside Nathalie and placed a hand on her shoulder. Nathalie turned and gave the girl a smile.

“I’m alright,” Nathalie stood back up with Krista’s support. Her hands reached for the two daggers that she had fitted in her belt. She was about to _dive_ into her death. _I might as well not do it empty-handed_. “I’m going to do what I can,”

“No!” Krista cried out and Ymir kept her back.

“Are you insane?! There’s no way you can fight those things with merely daggers!” Connie cried out.

“Stay here, Captain, we can’t afford to lose-” Berthold tried to say but Nathalie cut him. She was surprised he even had the gal to speak after being a fellow traitor with Reiner.

“No worries, soldier,” Nathalie chuckled bitterly. “I suppose I now get my chance to win your trust,”

It was ironic to think of how she had to _die_ to do that. Nathalie looked down at the deprived titans, and before she allowed herself to jump, she just tried to think of what kind of life she had led till now.

She hadn’t realised that a tear slipped down her cheek as she thought of Furlan, Isabel, Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther. She remembered attending Eld’s wedding. Petra’s voice whilst she’d scold Oluo was still loud in her ears. Oluo’s sassy remarks, and Gunther’s tea. Isabel’s head as it would rest on her shoulder whenever they’d stare at the stars. Hange and Moblit whilst they’d scream at each other, and then she’d have Hange complaining about things to her for hours. She didn’t regret anything in her life. Except maybe one thing. A sob reached her throat and another tear slipped down her cheek. She only wished she had gotten the time to do that _one_ thing _._

Nathalie let out a shaky breath as she allowed herself to fall.

 _Levi… I never got to tell you how much I…_ It didn’t matter anymore. This was the end.


	28. Saved

Jumping from titan to titan, and slicing their napes multiple times to cut a piece was _fucking up_ her wound, doing nothing but stretch it wide open and lose more and more of her blood. Nathalie was going to die, but she was at least going to die as the only soldier who had attempted to fight a battalion of titans with nothing but two incredibly sharp daggers. She couldn’t even tell how in the world she was still standing. She couldn’t even tell how she hadn’t yet given up.

She at least knew _why_ she hadn’t given up. She couldn’t die there. Not like this. She had a lot more to do. She had a life to live. She had to watch her squad grow. She had to watch the Survey Corps as they’d receive newer recruits and grow bigger by the year. She had to see whatever it was that existed beyond the walls. She had to find the truth, and quench her thirst for answers. But most importantly, she had to be there for him.

 _Levi._ She couldn’t die. Not when she knew that he needed her. She couldn’t allow herself to _leave_ this world just yet. She had things to tell him. She had to tell him she loved him. She had to let him know that she wasn’t going to die, unless they’d die together. They had been together for so, so many years and nothing had parted them. Not their losses, nor Levi’s efforts to try and push her away. _Nothing_ had parted them. She wasn’t about to allow some titans take her away from _him._ Levi was on his way there. _He had to be_.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“She may be a bitch, but she has guts, I give her that,” Ymir admitted as all of them gathered by the edge of the tower and looked down at Nathalie.

Connie gasped. He couldn’t believe she was actually fighting titans without ODM. “That’s insane,” His eyes widened as they all stared down. “Is there nothing we can do to help her?!” Connie turned and looked at the others who weren’t suggesting anything.

“C’mon! Nathalie’s going to die! We can’t just leave her-” Krista tried to say but Reiner cut her.

“What choice do we have?” Reiner asked. “We have no ODM, and no one here’s skilled and crazy enough to take on titans with nothing but a knife!”

Krista gritted her teeth. “If only I could find a weapon, I’d go down fighting. Captain Nathalie’s treated us unlike no other Captain or squad leader we’ve ever had. We can’t just stand here and do nothing, we have to-”

“Krista, please. Enough with that kind of crap, okay?” Ymir cut her. “Those people who died and now the Captain, they didn’t sacrifice themselves so that you could go out in a blaze of glory,”

“Ymir! T- That’s not what I-”

“Connie…” Ymir ignored her and approached the boy. “…where’s that knife you found?”

“Huh?! You’re not actually thinking to-” Connie tried to say but Ymir cut him,

“Just give it here,” She insisted and Connie gave it to her. “You’re very sweet, thanks,” Ymir patted his head sarcastically and he shook her hand away.

“What do you even need it for?!” Connie asked.

“Hm… not much, I’m just… going to give them a little hell,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie was moving like an insect on top of the bodies of the mindless creatures. She couldn’t slice their necks deep so she had to do it many times and fast enough to not be caught. It wasn’t easy with that wound. And just when she started considering to stop fighting and let a titan grab her and _end_ her misery, something else grabbed her.

It was a titan, but a different one. It didn’t eat her. It placed her on top of its head. **“Grab on tight,”** It said.

Nathalie’s eyes widened as the realisation hit her. “Ymir?!” It turned and gave her a look, letting her know that her assumption was correct. Why was she even helping her? She could easily escape in her titan form, but instead, she had stuck around and taken her safely on the top of its head. Maybe Ymir wasn’t the _real_ enemy after all. Maybe she was another titan shifter who knew more, but she wasn’t working with Reiner and Berthold. Yet again, Nathalie should expect this being the same as Reiner risking his life to save Connie. Maybe having Ymir sticking around was her way to _atone._

But _atone for what?_ Was Ymir really there back in Wall Maria’s breach? Something about her staying there didn’t add up. Maybe she cared about her comrades? Maybe she cared about only _one_ of her comrades, and if Nathalie had to guess, it’d be Krista. Still, this was getting her nowhere. At least now she knew she wasn’t going to die in the jaws of a titan, but she was still going to die from blood loss. It didn’t matter. She had an idea to buy her kids some time.

“Ymir! Toss me against the titans. It should give me enough momentum to cut off their napes,” 

**“Yes, Captain,”**

Ymir grabbed her and tossed her away like a ball. It was almost the same as using ODM. She didn’t have ODM to hook herself somewhere and give herself the push to cut off easily through the thick titan skin, but Ymir’s throw was powerful enough. Nathalie’s fingers clenched tightly around the stems of her daggers whose blades were still large enough to cut through. She let out a cry as she cut the nape of a titan in one go.

Ymir was killing off titans, biting and tearing off their napes one by one. Her titan was small, agile, and fast. The titans never got the chance to attack her and corner her. Nathalie jumped off the titan that she had just killed and she landed on a shoulder of another titan nearby. Her vision was getting blurry again. _Dammit._ She lost her step, but stabbed a dagger on its shoulder and let her body hung from there. Ymir approached her, and on her way to her, she took out multiple titans.

Ymir grabbed Nathalie after she bit off the nape of the titan Nathalie was hanging on. Ymir tossed Nathalie towards another titan, further away. She cut off its nape as well. A titan grabbed Nathalie. She stabbed a dagger on its fingers, urging it to let go of her, before she ran up its forearm, and jumped on its shoulder. She stabbed both daggers on its nape and tried her best to cut it off after lots of effort.

But she stopped trying when she heard of something coming her way. It was Ymir tossing whatever bricks were left of the tower towards the rest of the neverending titans that were attacking them. Nathalie moved out of the way. She grabbed onto the hair of another titan and she hung from there, watching as the tower was about to go off. Ymir took the others on top of her head and rushed towards Nathalie. Nathalie caught Connie’s hand as he helped her on top of the titan’s head, and Ymir took them away from the crushing tower.

The tower crushed on top of the last few titans that were left, and Ymir let the others down on the debris. It almost seemed like it was over, but the debris started moving. It seemed that the tower wasn’t enough to crush the titans beneath it. Ymir set off to fight again. But they were still too many and Ymir’s titan was injured. They started eating her alive.

“No! Ymir!” Krista cried out and Nathalie grabbed her hand, keeping the girl back.

“Krista, stand back! I got this,” Nathalie said and she tried to walk towards Ymir. She hadn’t noticed how weak her legs were. Nathalie would’ve collapsed on her knees if Krista and Connie hadn’t grabbed her on both sides.

“You can’t keep fighting, Nathalie! Stand down!” Connie scolded her as he passed her hand around his shoulders. He placed one hand on her wound and he pressed down. “Please, Captain,”

Nathalie’s bloody hand reached for her forehead. That’s when she had realised her glasses were missing. She must have dropped them during the fight. It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t be needing them anymore.

“Ymir!” Krista shouted as she ran towards the titan that was being cannibalised.

“We’re surrounded,” Connie said. Eyes wide in terror. Several more titans were on top of them and Krista had gone off on her own with Reiner and Berthold chasing after her. Nathalie wondered why in the world would these two still bother to put up all that act. “Nat… looks like this is the end,” Connie said as they both stared at a titan who was about to grab them and eat them.

“Connie…” Nathalie started breathlessly. “…I’m so sorry,” There was nothing else that she could do. She didn’t even know how she was still standing. If it weren’t for Connie’s support, she wouldn’t be. The daggers dropped off her hands and crushed beside the rubble of the castle.

“It’s alright, Captain,” Connie said as he turned and looked at her, giving her a smile “At least I’m not gonna die alone,”

 _Well,_ that was true. Nathalie returned the smile weakly and she patted his head. She liked that kid. He could still smile when death was right on top of them. When he had just found out that his entire village had been wiped out.

But that titan never got to lay a hand on the two of them. Neither the other titan, and the other, _and the other,_ that had them surrounded. Something wiped them out. In one go, multiple napes had been wiped off and multiple bodies were crushing aside the rubble. Nathalie let out a sigh of relief. She knew of only one person who could take out so many titans at once.

The Scouts dropped like rain on top of the titans. They had them all wiped out in seconds. Connie’s eyes brightened with hope as he spotted Eren, Mikasa, Jean and Sasha, taking out titans. “Guys!”

Nathalie patted a hand on his shoulder. “Go ahead,” She said and he nodded before he ran away towards his friends.

“Nat!” It was Levi’s voice that caught her attention. He and Hange ran hastily towards her. His hand found its way around her right away. Nathalie placed a hand on his shoulder, finally relieved. She wasn’t going to die before seeing him after all. She thanked whatever _God_ it was that was watching them. Levi was there now. Everything was going to be alright.

“Levi…”

Nathalie finally gave in to her wounds. She gave in to the pain and the blood loss and allowed her broken, exhausted body to collapse. Levi caught her. He caught her right away and knelt down, settling her on his lap. He looked down at her. Panic surged through him as he saw her wound. He saw the cuts on her face, on her hands. Her blood that covered her entire stomach.

 _No, no, no, no, no…_ Levi gritted his teeth as he looked down at her. She had lost so much blood, and he was late. He was late, and being late, he could lose her now. She could die right now and he would forever know it’d be his fault. If they’d been faster. If he was there at least _minutes before._ His hand found her wound. Her hand was already there, pressing down, but she didn’t have enough strength to do it. She had a clumsily wrapped bandage that was soaked in red just like her shirt and her pants.

It must have slowed out the bleeding, but only delayed the inevitable. “Why don’t you do as I tell you?!” Levi cried out.

His hands clenched around her. He had lost count of how long it had been since the last time he’d seen her. If only she’d never left. If only she’d _listen to him_ when he told her _no, don’t go._ She had to stay with him. She’d be safe with him, but _now…_ now the damage had been done and she was either going to die right there, or he was going to carry her all the way back to Stohess to get her in a hospital.

Still, the smile did not fade from her face. She was just happy to see him. She could die now. Dying in his arms was the best possible way to go. _Not for him._ A tear slipped down her cheek. _No… I’m so sorry._ She didn’t want to go. “Really? You’re… scolding me? Right now?” Her hand let go of her wound. There was no point. She had lost too much blood already. “It’s no use-”

“Don’t go spilling that bullshit to me. You don’t get to defy my orders and then just die,” Levi snapped. He wasn’t going to _let her die._ He wasn’t. If he did, he’d never forgive himself. He _loved_ her. How could he watch her like this? How could he let her bleed to death? “You’re not going to die. Not like the rest of them, you hear me?!”

Nathalie still gave him that warm smile and her red coloured hand reached for his face. She cupped his cheek, and he shut his eyes trying to hold the tears back. “I’m glad you’re here,” She said weakly. “I’m glad… I get to see you… before I-”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Levi growled. His hand caught her own and he laced their fingers together. His forehead pressed upon her own and he leaned closer down to her. “I can’t lose you, Nat,”

A tear slipped down his cheek, and he didn’t give a damn if anyone would see it. He didn’t give a damn about anyone saying anything. The woman that he loved was dying. He might as well die right there with her. What was the point to go on if she wasn’t beside him? It had only been just a few days without her and he hated each and every single second of them. Knowing that she was in danger, it drove him insane. He couldn’t get to finally see her just to watch her die.

But she knew all that. She knew he couldn’t live without her, just as much as she couldn’t live without him. She had never imagined she’d feel such relief upon seeing him. Such relief upon having him hold her, and look down at her with those terrified, shiny grey eyes that suppressed tears and his teeth gritted together, trying his best to hold back screams of pain. Everybody that he cared about had died. _Not her._

A sob reached her throat and tears slipped down her cheeks. “I know you can’t… I'm so sorry,”

Levi gritted his teeth. His hands tightened around her and brought her close. She nuzzled her face in his neck and she shut her eyes revelling those last moments beside him. _No._ Levi couldn’t let it end like this. He had things he wanted to do with her. He had things to tell her. He wanted to hold her for hours. Hours that they would never get if he wasn’t going to stand up and do something to save her.

He looked up at Hange who was staring shocked down at her friend, trying to swallow down the fact that she was going to lose Nathalie. “Snap the fuck out of it,” Levi snapped harshly. “I’m taking her in a hospital back in Stohess,”

“Levi… th- the territory may still be crawling with titans, we don’t know what-” Hange tried to say but Levi grabbed her by the shirt with his bloody hand.

“Listen to me,” Levi growled. “She’s _not_ going to die. I _will_ _not_ let her,” He gathered Nathalie’s limp body in his arms and he picked her up. He whistled for his horse, which rushed towards them right away. “I’m taking her alone,”

Before he had the chance to get her on his horse, Nathalie’s hand grabbed Hange’s and she drew both their attention. “Hange… Reiner… Berthold… keep an eye on them. Ymir’s not… a threat,”

Hange nodded. “Alright,” she turned at Levi. “You better get her in a hospital in time or else I’ll kill you myself,”


	29. Terror

His horse was going fast. One hand was tight around her, pressing her body protectively against his own, and the other hand was holding the reins of his horse. Both of Levi’s hands were still holding his swords. He had already wiped out a couple of titans on his way back to Trost, but he didn’t let those bastards take any more than a few seconds of his time. _Nathalie’s time._

Her back was pressed against his chest. Her head had rolled back tiredly against his shoulder. He had wrapped his green cloak around her that should be enough to keep her warm. He did not mind the violent wind as it crushed against his body while riding fast on horseback. She needed it more than him.

Her eyes were closed. He had tried his best not to let her fall asleep. If she’d lose consciousness, then she wasn’t going to come back. How could he let this happen? Watching her wounded like that felt like a dagger stabbing mercilessly through his flesh. Her eyelids were barely open. Her hands were shaking and her breathing, heavy. It was getting slower and slower by the time. She was mumbling incomprehensible words as if she was having hallucinations. She was warm. She was probably having a fever. 

“Don’t die on me,” Levi growled in her ear. “You will _not_ die on me, Nat,” His hand tightened around her, and in the end, he realised, he was just trying to convince himself that he wasn’t going to lose her.

He _couldn’t_ lose her. Not like he had lost all the others. People in his life would just keep dying and leaving him alone in his misery. But he found out he was never _alone and miserable_ because she was there. Nathalie had always been there and she had never left. It was funny to think of how many times those past years he had tried to get rid of her, just to give it his all now to keep her with him. He could not imagine life without her.

Not without those hugs that she’d give him whenever he’d need them the most -and he never even had to ask. She just knew. Not without those _terrible_ biology jokes of hers -that no one could understand but her and Hange- and those sassy remarks that always aimed to get on his nerves. Most times he’d only act annoyed just to give her what she wanted. And even those times that he’d pass out by his office from the exhaustion and the pressure, he’d wake up the other day covered in a blanket that she had undoubtedly brought for him.

All those years she had been _there._ He couldn’t lose her now. If he lost her, he’d never be able _to tell her…_ He’d never be able to hold her in the nights. Nor listen to her stupid jokes, and her sweet laughter, and look upon that reassuring, comforting smile that she’d give him whenever he’d cup her face. He couldn’t even begin to think of what she had gone through that entire night. How many people she had watched die, and in how much pain she must have been right now.

She would be having nightmares for tonight, and for all the nights to come, but he’d hold her. He’d hold her every single night if it meant he’d be able to make her feel better. But _please…_

Levi buried his face briefly at the back of her shoulder and breathed her in. “Don’t leave me, Nat… not you,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

He reached the hospital by dusk. She was still breathing when the doctors took her in and vanished behind the closed doors of a room. Levi was left alone in that hospital’s empty halls of utter despair. He just sat down on a chair outside the room they had taken her in and he waited. He didn’t even know how many hours he waited, he only knew it was late in the night and only a few candles and oil lamps were bringing light in the building. Most people had left, and the hospital was almost empty. He didn’t care though. He only glanced at the closed door of her room for the hundredth time, and he knew that any moment the doctor would walk out and either tell him that she was dead, or that she had _miraculously_ survived.

He didn’t know which one was most likely to happen. Levi pressed his elbows on the top of his knees and he stared blankly down on the white marbled floor. There was a tight knot in his stomach that he always got when either Nathalie or any other of his comrades were in danger. All the previous times, he could always deal with it, but this time, it was _unbearable_.

Levi’s fingers fisted painfully in his hair. Eyes wide as he could think of nothing but the worst outcome. Those hours must have been the longest of his life. He could not remember himself being so scared of anything else in his life. He had left his ODM outside with his horse, along with his jacket and his ascot that had started to feel too tight around his neck. He had rolled up his sleeves at the height of his elbows, and a few buttons on his shirt were unbuttoned.

Levi sighed heavily once more. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. He never thought something could scare him _that_ _much_. He could take down the wildest, most abnormal titans that humanity would ever face. He could kill in cold blood the biggest scums of the Undercity. He could fight anything, and nothing would scare him enough to catch his breath halfway his throat.

Even the morning before the latest Expedition, when he jumped off his unceremoniously interrupted sleep, on that treacherous gut feeling that his comrades were all going to die. And that feeling was correct. And then, facing their families to bring the news was twice as scary as watching their bodies being buried. But she was there. Nathalie was beside him through all of these and he had a reason to remain strong. He had a reason to keep that frozen _mask_ on his face of the cruel, unforgiving man that everyone made him out to be. He had a reason to remain strong, and that reason was _Nathalie_. It had always been. 

If he lost her, what would be his reason to go on in this life? If he lost her, who was going to be with him through all those terrors, and all those nightmares, and all that pressure? _Who?_ He had no one he could hug and they would hug him back. It had always been her.

_What the hell am I going to do if she’s-?_

“Captain Levi,”

The doctor’s voice cut that endless chain of thoughts that tormented his mind. Levi stood up right away and approached the man in white. He remembered his heart insanely hammering beneath his chest until he could hear it as loud as the doctor’s voice.

“Lieutenant Nathalie lost too much blood but we managed to stop the bleeding. We administered her enough blood from a donor. She should be okay after she fights off the Hypovolemic Shock,”

“And if she doesn’t?!” Levi asked worriedly.

“She will. It may take a while, but she will,” The doctor gave him a reassuring smile. “You may see her, Captain. I’ll be here the entire night, so if you need anything, just let me know,”

“Thank you, doc,”

The doctor gave him a nod before he walked away and Levi didn’t waste a moment further. He rushed in her room, closing the door behind. It wasn’t entirely dark. The moonlight came bright from the window, and an oil lamp was resting beside her bed on a small wooden table.

She looked pale. Paler than the _dead._ She didn’t have that lively colour on her skin that she usually had, nor that rosy flush that was almost permanently engulfing her cheeks. Her lips were no longer that gorgeous pink, they were almost a light blue. Levi sat by a chair that rested beside the bed and his hand reached for her own. He was startled of how cold her hand was. Her hands were usually never cold, but this time, it was as if he was holding _a block of ice_.

It hurt him so much watching her like this. He couldn’t even begin to think of how much she had fought or how much blood she had lost. Mike and his squad were dead. He could only imagine what she had seen. She was going to break down after she’d gain back her senses.

He trapped her hand between both his own. She hissed and it made his eyes widen for a moment on the thought of hurting her somehow. _“Cold,”_ she mumbled before her body shook and her face twisted into a tormented expression. Her fingers tightened around his own before they loosened again. Her expression changed back into a peaceful one and she slipped back into unconsciousness.

Levi for once had no idea what to do. She was already beneath three blankets that didn’t seem to be helping somehow. He sighed heavily and he wished he could take his eyes off of her but he couldn’t. He laced their fingers together and tried to warm up her hand at least. It was his fault she was in that situation. He had promised to protect her no matter what, and now she had barely made it out of death’s way.

He had failed to keep her safe. _Miserably._ But how could anybody know that titans would show up out of nowhere in Wall Rose? It was clear that the walls weren’t safe. It was like she had said. The walls just weren’t safe _anymore_.

There was no place that was safe in this world. There was no place where she would be and be protected. The same was for everyone else, but he did not care about _everyone else_. He only cared about her. He only cared about her because he had allowed himself to fall so deeply, and so _irrevocably_ , that there was no going back. There was no going back to normal. It had never been normal _actually_. He was always falling. Slow, and _deliberate_. He was only realising it _now_.

He didn’t know if she’d return that feeling, and it was alright. If she wouldn’t, then he was going to back away. But he’d let her know. He had to tell her because he knew he might not ever get that chance again.

Levi for once did what he _wanted_ to do. A fourth blanket wasn’t going to do much. He pushed off his boots. He slipped beneath the bedsheets and settled her limp body on top of his own. Her back pressed against his chest, and her head rolled back on his shoulder. His hands slipped around her waist, gathering her own hands in his and pressing her body against his own. She was cold, but those small tremors that her pale lips made, finally slowed down.

Levi pressed a kiss on her temple and his hands tightened around her, spotting that tight bandage around her stomach. “Stay with me, Nat,” he whispered softly in her ear. His breath brushed warm down her cheekbone. “Don’t ever leave me… I-” he had no idea what it was that cut him. He didn’t know why saying those three, _simple_ words could be so difficult. He was afraid that she’d hear him. He gritted his teeth. It was so useless to keep resisting. “I love you,” He had never before been so honest with _himself_. He would always keep lying to himself about being _strong,_ and _untouchable,_ and _cold,_ and _ruthless._ But that was _one thing_ that he was _absolutely certain_ about. _He loved her_.

But, _what a coward am I?_ Only getting to tell her when she was unconscious and hoping she’d never hear him. _No._ He was going to say it tomorrow _again_. Now, he was actually _hoping_ she’d hear him. He was hoping that by telling her that, she wouldn’t give up on that fight for her life.

Levi buried his face in her hair, and he breathed her in. His arms were tight but careful around her. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. The doctor said she was going to be okay. He only had to wait and be with her. He wasn’t going to leave her side. _Not ever._


	30. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I just couldn't hold back anymore, these two need to have a very, very _established_ relationship by the end of season 3 cuz _well_ I have my reasons _ehehehehe_ 😈😈 Normally, I'd keep this for another 30 chapters BUT DAMMIT, LEVI'S HOT and these two have already known each other for quite sometime so... 😅
> 
> Just wanna thank you all for the awesome support, and all those incredible comments and kudos!!! Thank you so much for reading!! I was slightly delayed today, but here's the daily chapter, and honestly, my favourite so far!! Lemme know what you think!
> 
> Enjoy! 😘

Light slowly penetrated her eyelids as she began to stir. Nathalie realised her head wasn’t resting back against a soft pillow. She could tell she was covered in blankets, but hands were around her too. Warm fingers were tangled between her own and the weight of a man’s cheek pressed on the top of her forehead. A rhythmic heartbeat thrummed beneath her ear, and she knew her cheek was pressed against his chest.

It was Levi, wasn’t it? She could tell she was in a hospital from the whiteness of the room’s walls. Had he really taken her there? Wasn’t it dangerous to go out in titan territory all on his own and rush his way there with her unconscious body? But she had to remind herself. _Nothing_ was dangerous for Levi.

Levi had saved her life. He risked going out on his own only to take her back to safety, and so fast. She was supposed to be dead. There was a time that she might’ve wanted that, but there was something that had brought tears in her eyes the moment she realised she was going to die last night. It was the thought of not seeing him again. It was the thought of never getting to tell him how much _she_ _loved him._

But everything was alright now. He had brought her to safety. He had saved her life. She was on a bed, but he was holding her. Her body was resting back against his own, and his hands were keeping both her own warm. But then the pain returned. It returned and it stung harshly in her stomach, but thankfully, she could say she had stopped losing blood. Still, she let out a wince that she didn’t have enough time to muffle back.

Still, that wince was loud enough to snap his eyes open and look down at her worriedly. “Are you okay? Are you in pain? Wait here. I’ll go get the doc-” Levi’s hands let go of her own, and he tried to stand up and walk away, but she grasped his hands and kept him in place.

“No. Stay,” It was funny to think of how a few nights back he was asking her the same. Having her asking him to stay. It startled him. But he welcomed that request. He laced their fingers together once more, and he watched her as she buried her face in his neck like a _kitten_ , starved of affection. She breathed shakily and she shut her eyes as it all came back to her.

Mike being squeezed to death. Nanaba and Gelgar being torn apart, whilst shouting her name for help. Lynne and Henning being crushed beneath debris, and Ymir being cannibalised alive. Nathalie was too weak to protect any of them. Too wounded and too weak to do anything. She had fought titans with mere daggers after her ODM got useless. She had no choice but to dive into her own death. Accept defeat, and give in. Jump from the tower right into a titan’s mouth.

“It was… terrifying,” Her voice trembled and tears overflowed her eyes and slipped down her cheeks unexpectedly. She hadn’t realised how much scared she was until she remembered how _being safe_ feels. Her hands let go off his and reached for his shirt, grasping it and bringing him closer. Clutching onto the only man that could bring her relief and reassurance. “I thought I was going to die…” Another tear slipped down her cheek “…I thought I was never going to see you again-”

“It’s alright, now, Nat,” Levi cut her. A hand found her back, the other, her hair, pressing her head against his chest. He pressed a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve got you. I always have,”

“Thank you, Levi,”

 _Was she really thanking him?_ “Oi, what the fuck are you even thanking me about?” Levi pulled back to look down at her. He pressed his forehead against her own and his thumb wiped away her tears from her cheeks. “I’d do anything for you,”

Those words drew her mind away from the terrors of last night, and she stared into his grey eyes finally realising how much scared he too must have been last night. She knew she meant a lot to him, and he meant a lot to her, but what were they to each other anymore? They’ve been siblings, they’ve been friends. Best friends. Comrades. What now? Levi didn’t know whether it’d be the wrong choice that would ruin everything. And he didn’t know whether it’d be the right choice that would _fix_ everything. But _fuck it._ He was tired of _waiting_. He had to grasp the chance for as long as they had left.

And just like that, he stole her first kiss. His lips engulfed her own and it left her wide-eyed for a moment. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. But she melted right away. His tongue penetrated her lips and met her own. He hummed upon her taste and his hands clutched around her bringing her closer. She wasn’t pushing him away. She was kissing him back. Her hand found his face and he realised he couldn’t stop tasting her. It was her first kiss, and it was addicting.

He only pulled back to allow her to breathe. She looked hazed and mesmerised. Her taste was still on his lips and his hands found her face. “Do you understand now why I need you to be safe?” Levi asked. “I love you, Nathalie,”

Those words were the words that she never thought she’d hear coming from him. Not like this. She never thought anybody would _want her_ like this. For all she knew, she and Hange were the crazy scientists that everybody was scared of. But Levi knew her better than that. _No._ He knew her better than _anyone._

“I love you too, Levi,”

The words flew right out of her mouth before she even had the chance to think. But she couldn’t hold it back. Not now that she knew he felt the same. Not now that she new she didn’t have to debate on _why_ he was holding her when she knew exactly why. _He loved her._ She couldn’t believe it. She could no longer feel the pain on her wound, and all those terrors from two nights ago seemed to be far behind her.

Levi was still surprised that she felt the same. But he didn’t waste a moment further. He kissed her again and her fingers clutched around his shirt urging him to lean closer. His tongue gently danced with her own, and he couldn’t even begin to realise how much he wanted this. He wanted to keep tasting her forever. She was _his_. She had always been and it was now apparent to both of them. His arms tightened around her. He bit gently down on her lip and she let out soft gasp. _Mine. Utterly._

“Oh boy, poor girl just woke up and you’re already on top of her!”

 _No. No, fuckin’, way._ It was Hange. Levi’s eyebrow twitched from the anger that he was suppressing. He gritted his teeth as he stopped kissing Nathalie and turned shooting a glare towards the entrance where Hange stood. She didn’t look good, but that didn’t stop him from shouting at her.

“Hange!” Levi growled. “Haven’t you learned how to _knock?!”_

“Section Commander! You’re supposed to be in bed!” Moblit cried out as he followed behind her. And he was right. Hange’s entire face and hands were red to the point that Nathalie could say that something had burned her. She was standing with the help of a crutch. Moblit didn’t look any better.

“Moblit’s right, you look like shit,” Levi agreed.

“I’m fine!” Hange cried out before she turned her attention back at the two. “I need to consult my fellow second in command scientist, provided loverboy here has any intention of getting off of her,”

Nathalie’s hand reached for her cheek. A failed attempt to cover the blush that had started spreading down her neck. “R- Right-”

“Hange-” Levi growled again, but Nathalie sealed his lips with the palm of her hand and he turned and looked at her.

Nathalie pulled her hand away and she gave him a smile. “It’s alright, you know how Hange gets,”

“They got Eren!” Hange cried out and Levi forgot what he was angry about.

“What do you mean _they?_ Who?!” Levi demanded.

“Nathalie was right…” Hange limped her way to another chair and she sat down with Moblit following from behind. “…Reiner and Berthold… they’re titans,”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. “Apparently…” Moblit started explaining. “…Berthold’s the Colossal, and Reiner’s the Armoured Titan. Eren tried to fight them off, but they took him and that girl Ymir,”

Hange kicked the floor with her good leg and she cursed beneath her breath. “Fuck! We were so, so, so FUCKING USELESS!”

“Calm down, Hange. There’s not much that you could have done against those two,” Levi said.

“Is my squad okay at least?” Nathalie asked.

Hange nodded. “Your kids are fine,” She said and Nathalie sighed in relief. “Erwin’s planning a rescue mission in two days from now. We must get all the rest that we can till then,”

Nathalie nodded. “Of course,”

“Captain?!” The door opened and Connie’s head popped in. He gave her a bright smile before he turned at the others “Hey, everyone! Nat’s in here!”

Nathalie’s smile grew bright but Levi frowned. “ _‘Nat’?”_ He shot Nathalie a glare and she chuckled nervously. Connie, Sasha, Jean, Mikasa, Armin, and Krista walked in and Levi’s frown grew. “Yeah, everybody, just barge right in,” he said sarcastically. He wasn’t going to be getting some privacy with her, was he?

“Alright, I’ll let y’all catch up,” Hange tried to stand up but she was clumsy enough to step on her wounded leg. “Fuck!” She cried out but Moblit caught her bridal style making sure he took her crutch with him.

“For goodness’ sake, Hange, how can you be so goddamn reckless?!” Moblit started scolding her as he turned around and carried her out of the room whilst the other six walked in.

“Captain!”

Connie, Krista, Sasha, Jean, Armin, Mikasa rushed towards her and gathered around Nathalie’s bed. Before Nathalie even knew it, Krista had pulled her in the tightest hug, and Connie was sitting on one side of the bed with Sasha, and the other three were sitting by the other side.

“Are you okay, Nathalie?!” Krista asked worriedly.

“How’s your wound?!” Connie asked with the same worry.

“Captain! Do you feel any better?” Sasha asked.

Nathalie returned the hug and caressed the girl’s golden hair. “I’m alright, kids. You don’t have to worry,”

Levi raised his eyebrow at how much excited they all were to see her. “How much did you spoil them all those weeks out there?” He asked.

Nathalie laughed. “Maybe just a little bit,”

“I can’t believe it,” Jean said. “Connie and Historia here say you fought titans with nothing but daggers,”

Levi’s eyes widened. He turned and shot Nathalie a glare. “You did what?!”

Nathalie chuckled nervously. She wished Jean wouldn’t have said that. “I was out of gas and blades, what was I supposed to do?!” she said to her defence.

“Still, that’s pretty impressive provided you were wounded,” Armin added.

Nathalie gave him a smile before she turned confusedly at Jean. “Wait, Historia?”

“It’s my name,” Krista said. She sighed. “Historia Reiss. My real name,”

If Nathalie remembered correctly, ‘Reiss’ was the name of one of the noble families. There must’ve been some long story behind that. Still, Nathalie gave the girl a smile and she patted her shoulder.

“Nice to meet you, Historia,” Nathalie said and Historia returned the smile. 

“What I don’t understand is that you had a stab-wound, right? Doesn’t that mean somebody stabbed you?” Armin asked.

“It couldn’t have been a titan,” Mikasa said.

Nathalie sighed. Those kids were smart. “No, it wasn’t a titan. When we reached Utgard Castle, I advised my squad to get some rest. They all did except two. Reiner and Ymir. I caught them talking about being able to read a product whose label was in another language. It was food compressed into a can to help it last longer,”

Their eyes widened. “Is that even possible?!” Connie cried out.

“Food?!” Sasha cried out.

“It makes sense,” Armin said. “Compressed food to the point that air doesn’t breach it could make it last longer for a significant amount of time,”

“Exactly what I thought,” Nathalie said. “We don’t have the technology to do that here. That food must’ve come from the world outside the walls. The same goes for Reiner, Berthold and Ymir. I barged in the room and accused them of being titan-shifters. They did not deny it and we got into a fight. Reiner stabbed me,”

Mikasa gritted her teeth. “Bastard. He got Eren,”

“And Ymir,” Historia added worriedly.

“We’ll get them back,” Nathalie said reassuringly. She cupped Historia’s face and she gave the girl a reassuring smile. “I promise you,” Historia returned the smile.

“Nat,” Levi cut in. “You need to report these to Erwin,”

Nathalie nodded and she remembered that tall abnormal. She bit her tongue. “I’ve got a lot of things to report to the Commander,”

“I’m sure you do,” A voice came from behind and everybody turned at Erwin as he entered. Hange was behind him. Nathalie rolled her eyes. _Stubborn_ as ever. Levi sighed and Erwin turned at the kids. “Do you mind leaving us?”

“Yes, sir!” 


	31. Rescue Mission Pt. 1

Nathalie explained it all with as much detail as she could. She told them about the abnormal that could talk. That it could order around titans just like the Female Titan, and that it was searching for information regarding the ODM gear. It was undoubtable that there was a person inside it stirring it. Hange supported that theory as well and as always, Erwin trusted their instincts. Still, there had been no breach on Wall Rose, and how titans showed up was still a mystery. Nathalie told them her theory about the people of Connie’s village turning into titans, but Erwin promised they’d further research on it after the rescue mission.

Hange said that Eren had put up quite the fight on Reiner and Berthold. She said they’d need at least a day to recover before escaping away, and the safest place to recover outside of Wall Rose, was on top of the branches of trees. There was a nearby forest outside of Wall Rose. The MPs had offered to help. They would be joining them in the rescue mission that had finally arrived two days later.

Nathalie’s wound had slowly started recovering and she had tried her best to convince Levi to _let her come with them._ She was once again going to be the Captain of the 104th. Levi had objected, but then Erwin requested that he stick by her side through the entire mission, so he drew back the objection.

Still, Nathalie made sure she had a very tight and protective bandage around her waist, that would make sure the wound wouldn’t open up, and it would protect it. She winced a couple of times as she stood in front of the large mirror whilst trying to tie that bandage around her. She was wearing her pants and her bra. She just had to tie her wound, and put her shirt on.

“Tsk,”

That was undoubtedly Levi staring at her in utter disappointment. He had that _why the fuck are you even coming_ look. He pressed half his weight against the entrance of her room. They had been staying in the Survey Corp HQ after leaving the hospital, and her room was just next to his.

She turned and looked at him. Heat engulfed her cheeks. _Sure_ , most of her body was covered but… _still._ She had never been exposed/naked in front of anybody but herself. She was too shy for _that kind of crap_. “W- What are you doing here?! I’m getting dressed-”

“Relax,” Levi cut her as he grabbed the bandage from her hands and started tying it around her waist for her.

He had heard her muffled winces and hisses from the hall. He stood behind her and stared at her flustered face through the mirror. Her hair were still as messy as always, barely touching her shoulders, as a few strands fell on her forehead. Her hand reached up and pushed them behind her ear. Her eyes met his own for a short moment, but he could tell she was trying to avoid him. So _shy_. If anything, he found it _intriguing._ But he wouldn’t _dare_ say it. She’d smack him across the face if he tried.

Nathalie was stubborn, and daring. She had _guts,_ and when everybody was scared of him, she wouldn’t miss the chance to throw something _stupid_ that always aimed to get on his nerves. He always liked that about her.

But another -most important- thing that he _loved_ about her was that she was _shorter than him._ Only a couple of centimetres -that nobody would be able to notice- but _that was still something._ Once he finished, she tried to walk away, but his hands were still tight around her. Her back pressed against his chest and his hands grabbed hold around her bandaged waist. Her cheeks got redder than they already were. _Damn him._ What _the hell_ was he trying to achieve by keeping her trapped against him like that?!

Levi leaned closer till his lips touched her earlobe from behind. “You can’t hide from me, Nat. I’ll have you naked and beneath me soon enough,”

She couldn’t tell whether she wanted to slap the _shit_ out of him, or just try her best not to get _wetter than she already was. What the hell’s wrong with you?!_ This was definitely not the time to act like a _horny teenager._ But the way he had said it. The warm, soft brush of his breath down her exposed neck. It brought shivers down her spine. _Damn you, you sexy bastard._ She smacked his hand away from her waist and she turned around ready to start scolding him, but she knew, no matter how much she tried to act annoyed, he could see right through her.

“For God’s sake, Levi, this is not the time for this! We need to say focused! We got two of our kids missing and those bastards Reiner and Berthold could have already-”

But he still muffled her with his lips against her own. She could never get used to have him kissing her like that. It almost felt like a dream that had come true. Nathalie forgot whatever it was that she had been scolding him about, and she just focused on the gentle brush of his tongue against her own. His arms slipped around her and pressed her close. Her hands found his face and she closed her eyes. How could she ever get mad at this man?

He just had to remind her that she was _his_ and that there was no point in being _shy_ around him. He knew her better than anyone, and she knew him better than any other. She didn’t have to be anxious about her body. He knew that she was. She didn’t have to. She was _gorgeous._

But he still kept it brief. They still had to get going. She was right. This rescue mission was going to result in _death_ one way or another. He still had to remind her. He pulled from the kiss and pressed his forehead against her own. His hands withdrew from her waist and reached for both her own that were still cupping his face.

“You stay beside me at all times, is that clear?” Levi said. He knew he was probably repeating himself, but he just had to make sure. Nathalie had a _bad habit_ of _not listening to him._ But she still gave him a reassuring smile.

“Alright,”

“Let me worry about retrieving the brats. You focus on not worsening the state of your wound, got it?” Levi insisted and she laughed.

 _Always so worried._ She wouldn’t blame him. She was the same as worried about him, even though, _Levi was… Levi,_ and there was nothing that he couldn’t fight against. Still, Nathalie’s hands found his chest and she buried her face in his neck. Levi allowed his lips to slightly curl up. His arms tightened around her slightly.

“Alright, alright, and you focus on not worrying too much about me,”

He frowned. “I can’t help it when you’re being a reckless brat who never fucking listens and tends to get herself killed,”

He was _having a point, really._ It wasn’t the first time she had nearly died in the middle of a mission and he had to rush to her rescue. “You’re right,”

“I _always_ am,” Levi smirked slightly, before he pressed a kiss on her temple and he pulled back to allow her to finish getting dressed. He only wished he had more time to hold her. He wished they didn’t have to go rescue those _brats_ but he could not deny he too shared her worry about Eren. 

The Scout Regiment, the Military Police, and a few troops from the Garrison were going to participate in this mission. They were going to be facing the Colossal and the Armoured Titan. There was no way that the Scout Regiment would be able to deal with those two on their own. They set out in the morning outside of Wall Rose.

“Be on the lookout! All riders assume formation!” Erwin gave the order.

Nathalie turned at her squad who were riding on their horses behind her. “Jean, Armin, Mikasa, with Hannes. Sasha, Connie, Historia, with me and Levi,” She ordered.

“Yes, ma’am!”

They rode out in the open for a couple of minutes. It was funny to think of how Levi was always the one to lead, and now it was Nathalie. It felt _odd._

“Titan spotted at 3 o’ clock!” The leader of the 5th Squad cried out and his soldiers fired off the red smoke signal. Nathalie looked back at Connie, Sasha and Historia who tensed up slightly.

“Connie, the signal!” Nathalie ordered.

“Right,”

“What do we do, Captain!?” Sasha cried out worriedly.

“We can’t afford to waste our time with it,” Nathalie said as she turned at the girl. “We keep pushing ahead. Saving Eren is our top priority. We’re running against the clock as it is,”

They nodded. “Yes, ma’am!”

They rode out the entire day, and they continued avoiding conflicts with other titans. So long as they didn’t attack them, it all went smoothly. It wasn’t until dusk that the forest could be finally seen far ahead. Red smoke signals were fired off by the spotters everywhere. The titans had them surrounded. Yellow lightning shot through the air, and Nathalie’s eyes widened. Whether it was Ymir, or Reiner, Berthold, or Eren, somebody had assumed titan form. All squads reached in front of the forest, but multiple titans started rushing out and heading towards them.

“Tsk,” Levi still had that dead expression on his face, even though he still wanted to _bang his head against a wall_. If it was that _brat, Eren,_ going on a rampage again, he was going to give him a massive beating afterwards. He moved his horse ahead, and he threw a hand in front of Nathalie’s horse urging her to stay back protectively. “I take the lead. You keep an eye on the brats,”

Nathalie nodded. “Got it,” 

“Soldiers, disperse! Battle is not our objective!” Erwin reminded them. Locate, recover and retreat!” Erwin ordered.

Nathalie knew as much as everyone that the MPs were the ones that would be the first to get eaten. Lounging around in the interior, did not give them any experience on how to deal with the panic that titans brought upon their prey. Sasha gasped as she watched an MP being devoured, but Nathalie urged her horse to move between Sasha and Connie.

“Sasha!” Nathalie caught the girl’s attention. “It’ll be okay,”

Sasha nodded shakily. “Y- Yes, Captain!”

Jean gasped. “Another MP,”

“Mark my words, Jean, by the time we’re done here, the MPs will have all been eaten,” Levi said and everybody tensed up right away.

Nathalie cringed. “Good work helping them calm down,” She said sarcastically.

Levi avoided responding to that and once they headed inside the forest, he gave the order. “Switch to ODM. Stay alert. They’re gonna be on the trees as well,”

The jumped around the forest, from branch to branch for a short moment till a familiar scream came from not further ahead. Nathalie recognised that cry. Levi led the squad towards the direction that cry had come from. He drew his swords, ready to attack that ugly little beast that had wrapped itself around the bark of a tree.

“Levi, stop!” Nathalie stopped him, and instead of attacking, the two of them hooked themselves on a nearby tree. “That’s Ymir. This is her titan form,” She explained.

“Huh. Is that so,” There was no way Levi was letting his guard down.

Connie landed on the same tree Ymir had grabbed herself on. “What the hell happened?! Where is everybody else? And what about Reiner and Berthold?!” He asked her.

“Give us something to go on. Anything!” Sasha said.

“Is that one of the abductees?” Hannes asked as he with his squad and Armin with Mikasa and Jean showed up.

“Yes,” Nathalie answered.

“Ymir! What’s the deal, did you manage to get away from them? Which direction did they go?” Jean asked.

But there was something wrong. No matter what Connie and the others said, Ymir wasn’t saying anything, and Nathalie knew for a fact that Ymir could talk in her titan form. Still the titan looked all over at them in the eye. Levi’s grip tightened around the handles of his sword. He was ready to rip that creature apart. It was at this moment that Nathalie realised, _where’s Historia?_

“Ymir! Thank goodness you’re alright!”

Historia came towards the titan in full force and before anybody had the chance to react Ymir jumped towards her and grabbed her in her mouth before jumping away on full speed. Nathalie’s eyes widened. She did not see this coming, and neither did Levi, or else he would’ve reacted right away.

“Shit,” Levi cursed. “After her!” He ordered before all of them along with Hannes’s squad started chasing Ymir.

“She’s fast! We’re losing her!” Jean cried out.

“Why would she do that?!” Mikasa asked.

“I, for one, agree with the brat,” Levi sighed. “What could possibly be the motive to abduct Historia?”

“Well…” Nathalie tried to think but the only answer she had in mind wasn’t a reliable one. “…she is related to a noble family!”

“Seriously, Captain?! You don’t know?” Jean cried out “Ymir and Historia are dating!”

Nathalie realised that it all started making sense. “Oohhh…”

“What?! Seriously?!” Connie asked confusedly.

Jean gritted his teeth. “Seriously, Connie?! What the hell!”

“All those weeks of spoiling those brats, and you didn’t know?!” Levi turned at Nathalie. _How much oblivious can she be?_

“How was I supposed to know!” Nathalie cried out in her defense. “For all I know, Historia’s too young for that crap!”

They landed on the branches of the trees once they realised that Reiner had just transformed and that Ymir, with Historia in her mouth, Berthold and Eren were carried by Armoured Titan away.

“No! Eren!” Mikasa cried out. Her hand reached up and grasped her scarf. Nathalie’s hand found her shoulder.

“This is not over, Mikasa,” Nathalie said before she whistled for the horses.

“We chase after them on horseback!” Levi cried out.

“We’ll get them back,” Hannes said reassuringly. “I promise you that, Mikasa,”


	32. Rescue Mission Pt. 2

“Reiner’s too slow! We’ve got him!” Jean cried out.

Berthold and Eren were now protected beneath the Armoured Titan’s hands wrapped around its own neck. It was vulnerable. Reiner couldn’t use his hands. He had to protect Berthold and Eren. Though, Ymir handled of protecting Historia. Levi knew exactly what to do.

“Nathalie!” Levi drew her attention and she turned and looked at him. He gave her _that_ look. One of the many that she had learned to recognise. She immediately understood what he had in mind. Nathalie turned around and looked at her kids.

“Reiner and Berthold were your comrades, correct?” Nathalie started. “I understand you all feel betrayed and have a hell of a lot to tell those two. So, go for it,”

Jean’s eyes widened. “For real?!”

“Yes. Go up there. Distract them. Hit them in the feelings where it hurts the most,” Nathalie said.

She knew for a fact that if Connie, Sasha, Jean, Mikasa and Armin went up there and started talking to the two, it would throw their guard down. And for as long as the Armoured Titan could not fend for himself, then she and Levi could handle all the _cutting_. Sure, the hardened skin all around its body was a thick armour that their blades couldn’t penetrate, but there was still lots of skin that wasn’t covered. All the red parts were small but everywhere and Nathalie was willing to bet they were the same as normal titan skin. If not _thinner_.

“Go,” Levi ordered. “Nathalie, you get back Historia. Mikasa, you’ll grab Eren when I’ll give you the chance,”

“Yes, sir!”

The kids hooked themselves on top of the Armoured Titan and did as they were asked. Levi and Nathalie reached with their horses right beneath the Armoured Titans legs. The loud thudding of the beast’s footsteps hit hard around them. The two stayed in the middle. Levi looked up trying to spot all of the weak spots. It was the back of the legs, the groin. The armpits. Some parts on its back. Levi took a moment of staring up and figuring out how to move.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you cut off Reiner?” Nathalie asked as she drew her blades.

“No,” Levi said and he turned and looked at her. “Once this son of a bitch is cut into pieces, the ugly bitch will try to grab him and escape. She’s small and short. She moves fast but Historia is her weakness. You’re sure you can handle chopping her limbs off?” He asked.

Nathalie smirked. “With pleasure, Captain. I’ve had the best teacher around,” She tucked her glasses further up her nose before she hooked herself on the back of the Armoured Titan and then on top of Ymir’s head.

Levi watched her as she flew up and he tried his best to hold back a smirk. He never questioned Nathalie’s abilities. Of all the _brats_ he’d ever trained, Nathalie was the only one to catch up too fast. But especially after what happened two nights ago, _fighting titans with daggers._ He _tsk_ -ed. What a _fucking insane_ woman.

He hooked himself on the back of the Armoured Titan’s leg. It wasn’t covered in hardening, and he started chopping the knee off. Once he was done with one leg, he went for the other. And then, he hooked himself on its back. He cut, and _cut, and cut_ like a maniac. That thing had started all that chaos back in Shiganshina, but Levi didn’t _give a damn._ That thing was friends with Annie, right? And that _bitch_ had wiped out his and Nathalie’s squad. That bitch had killed _his kids_.

He could not hurt Annie whilst she had been hiding into that _damn_ crystal. But he might as well take out some of his anger on that damn _asshole_ who had abducted Eren. The _fucking brat_ that his squad had died protecting. Their deaths would have been for nothing if he allowed the Armoured Titan to harm that brat.

Nathalie was too fast, even with the slightly stinging wound on her stomach. She stabbed both her swords onto the eyes of Ymir’s titan. It shrieked.

“No! Nathalie! Stop!” Historia cried out. “You have to let her take me with her! If not, they’re going to kill her!”

What the hell was the girl talking about?! _Fuck._ “Hey, Ymir! Is that love, dammit?! You’re gonna use Historia to save your own ass?!” Nathalie cried out as she landed on top of the blind titan’s head.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck… fuck!_ Levi’s orders were clear. She had to chop Ymir’s titan in lots of tiny little pieces. But how in the world was she supposed to bring herself to do it? Ymir had saved her life two days ago. If she hadn’t jumped in to help her, Nathalie wouldn’t be here now. Ymir probably did that so that she could save Historia. She didn’t care about anyone or anything else, but whatever the reason, it didn’t matter. Ymir had still saved her life.

 _Dammit._ That kid was lost. Was she really going to give herself in? Was she really going to surrender to the enemy? What was Historia really talking about? Nathalie still had that _gut feeling_ that Ymir wasn’t working with Reiner and Berthold and Annie, but she was connected to them somehow. She sighed. If she could talk it through to Ymir, maybe she’d be able to change her mind and join their side. 

“And just where do you think you’re going?! Why would you go to the people who are going to kill you?! Stay with us and fight, dammit! This is what we all do here. We fight for our lives. This is just how it is. Are you a coward enough to give yourself in?”

Nathalie knelt on top of Ymir’s head. She knew Ymir was listening to her. She didn’t know Ymir as much as she knew the others, because Ymir would never really open up those few weeks that Nathalie had been her Captain. But there was something about that girl that just didn’t feel wrong. Nathalie knew all those simple _gut feelings_ were getting her nowhere. She wasn’t standing on evidence. She never really did. She just _knew_ things, and she couldn’t explain _why._

“However you got this power, whether you owe to these people or not, you never asked for any of this. You never _tried_ to wrong them. What you did, you did it cause you had no choice. So what if you turn Historia in? What do you think they’ll do to her? Protect her? Historia has royal blood running in her veins. If anything, they’re going to run experiments on her. You of all people know better than anyone in here the possibilities of what they’re going to do to her,”

Ymir’s eyes widened. Nathalie was right. She didn’t know for sure whether Reiner was lying or not. She had no reason to trust those people. It was most likely that they were going to make Historia inherit one of the titans, and she was going to die in less than a few years. Ymir didn’t want that for her. She focused all her energy on curing her one eye. She grabbed both Nathalie and Historia and she jumped off Reiner, right before Reiner collapsed on his knees.

The titan growled. Reiner could no longer use his feet, and the reason could be no other than Levi. He stood at the back of the titan. He had nearly chopped the skin above the nape off and he was about to grab Reiner out of there. That _bastard’s_ skin was thick as hell. Still, Levi had his face covered in blood and only a pair of blades left.

Before he had the chance to chop the nape off, he noticed multiple titans were full speed on their way and there was no one but Erwin leading them there using the MPs and himself as bait. _Damn you, Erwin._ He knew that man was crazy, but that was a whole other level of _crazy._

Nathalie had no idea what Armin had said, but whatever it was it had made the Armoured Titan pull his hands away and reveal Berthold and Eren beneath. A titan grabbed Mikasa. Nathalie broke off Ymir’s grasp and she headed straight for the titan that had grabbed Mikasa.

“Nat!” Jean cried out. “I’ve got it! You go grab Eren!”

Nathalie had to trust that the kid would make it. She nodded. Jean sliced the fingers of the titan and Connie cut the nape off. Jean grabbed Mikasa, and Nathalie grabbed Eren just in time.

“Captain Nathalie!” Eren cried out in relief. Nathalie’s hands tightened around him and they landed on ground.

“I’ve got you, kid,” Nathalie said, before she hooked herself on an upcoming titan and she chopped its nape off. Nathalie landed back down on her knees and she tucked her glasses up her nose.

“Where’s Mikasa?!” Eren cried out worriedly.

“Right, here!” Jean said as he hurried, carrying her in his arms.

“Eren!” Mikasa cried out.

“Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!” Eren cried out worriedly as he approached her hurriedly. Mikasa shook her head.

“I’m okay,”

Jean frowned. “ _Thanks for saving me, Jean._ Oh, no problem, Mikasa,” He said sarcastically.

Eren placed a hand on his shoulder. “Never thought I’d say this, but thanks, horse-face, I owe you one,”

“Did you just call me-?!”

“Get on your horses, we ride the hell out of here!” Levi cried out as he rushed off the Armoured Titan.

“Eren!” Nathalie turned at him. “You get with Mikasa,”

“Yes, ma’am!”

They mounted their horses right away. Nathalie looked far ahead as Erwin and the MPs led a battalion of titans on their way. _Oh God._

“Where’s Historia?!” Levi asked turning at Nathalie as they rode side by side.

“Right here, Captain!” Historia’s voice came from behind only for Levi to turn and watch the girl riding on top of Ymir’s titan head. Levi turned at Nathalie, giving her a look that _demanded_ an explanation.

“Ymir’s with us. I convinced her,” Nathalie explained briefly and Levi groaned. He looked ahead and forgot what he was going to scold Nathalie about when he saw Erwin being grabbed by a titan’s teeth.

“Commander!” Some soldiers shouted.

“Nathalie!” Levi growled as he hooked himself on the titan’s back, and Nathalie went straight for the jaws. She sliced the jaws, forcing the titan’s mouth open.

“What are you two doing here! I ordered to charge!” Erwin cried out. Blue eyes, wide in frustration.

“With all due respect, Commander, _shut the fuck up!”_ Nathalie growled as she freed his hand from the mouth of the titan and she wrapped a hand around him tightly. Levi sliced off the nape and the three of them landed back on their horses.

Erwin’s horse was nowhere to be seen. He would be riding with Nathalie for now. He was sitting behind her. He had a hand wrapped around her waist while the other bled dangerously, but it hadn’t been chopped off thankfully. She and Levi had gone there just in time.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Erwin?!” Levi cried out. “There’s no Scouts without you,”

“But-” Erwin tried to object but Nathalie took out a large bandage from her back pocket and she turned slightly back. _No._ She couldn’t patch him up like this. She did it with a little bit of effort, but she managed to turn her body, and sit facing Erwin. “Nathalie what are you-” She handed him the reins of her horse on his one hand and she cut him.

“Shut up and keep your eyes ahead!” Nathalie growled at him and Erwin did as he was asked. He knew there was no point objecting, even though he could still feel Levi throwing a glare at the direction letting him know that he was _too close_ to Nathalie for his liking.

Erwin tried to ignore it, and focus on the task at hand. “Did you guys recover Eren?” Erwin asked and Nathalie nodded. “Retreat! Everybody, retreat!” Erwin gave the order.

Nathalie focused on patching his hand and passing the bandage around his neck, leaving his hand to hung securely from there. He was going to be okay, but it must have been hurting like hell. But then a growl came from the Armoured Titan and a titan came flying towards them. Nathalie gasped as she watched the titan being tossed away as if it weighed no more than a doll.

“Dammit,” Erwin gritted his teeth.

“Tossing titans now?” Levi frowned. “Should’ve cut the hands off too,”

“Too late to worry about that. We need to get out of here,” Erwin said.

“Captain!”

That was Armin’s voice. He had Jean in his arms. He was unconscious and a titan had cornered them against a tree. Levi hooked himself on the back of the titan and he sliced its nape off right away.

“Is Jean okay?!” Nathalie cried out worriedly.

“He bashed his head,” Armin answered and Nathalie cringed. _Oh God._ “But, Eren! A- And Mikasa!” Armin pointed in the direction where a titan had previously landed after being tossed away by Reiner. Nathalie’s eyes widened. _No, no, no, no…_

“Leave me here! You go retrieve the kids!” Erwin ordered.

“Nat, I’ll handle this. You keep Erwin from trying to kill himself,” Levi said and Erwin opened his mouth to object only for Nathalie to cut him.

“Yes, sir,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

He was useless. He was utterly useless. Eren had fallen on his knees. His hands bled and ached from bitemarks. He had just watched Hannes being eaten by that very same titan that had killed his _mom,_ and he was so _useless,_ he couldn’t do anything about it. He had fallen on his knees and he had cried out. Tears were running down his cheeks as the only thing he could do was hate _everything_ about _himself_.

“Look at you!” He cried out at himself. “You haven’t grown one goddamn bit! You’re still as useless as you’ve ever been! Nothing’s changed!”

He had failed everyone. He had failed to do anything to save his mom. He had failed to protect Mikasa. He had failed to protect Armin. He had failed to protect that one person who was more of a father to him than his own father. The tears streamed down his cheeks and he didn’t know whether he was crying or laughing. He couldn’t find the difference between the two anymore. How could his mother ever hope to see him grow and become somebody reliable?

“I’m sorry, mother. I still can’t do anything. No matter how hard I try, I’m still a worthless little kid,”

And before he had the chance to slip deeper into the pain and the misery, it was Mikasa’s voice that drew him back to reality. “Stop, that isn’t true,” She said. How could she still say that? Eren turned and looked at her in utter confusion. _How can she still believe in me?_ “Eren… thank you,” she approached him, kneeling beside him.

She winced. She was in pain and it was his fault. How could she thank him? It was all his fault. He had never done anything for her whilst she had done everything for him. He looked around them. The titans were everywhere. She was too injured to fight, and he was too _useless._ Always _so, so useless._ But still, Mikasa gave him a warm smile. Her shiny dark eyes looked up at him with tears. Even though death was all around, he could focus on nothing but her.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you that. For fighting. For always standing by me. For pushing through. For showing me how to live with purpose. I’m grateful,” She said and he couldn’t believe she meant so much to him. He had spent all those years thinking that he never was enough, but for her, he had always been _enough._ It brought relief. Then her hand reached for that red scarf that she had tied around her ever since he had handed it to her. Ever since that day so long ago, she had kept it. He should have realised it sooner. “My scarf. For always wrapping it around me. Thank you,” A tear slipped down her cheek and his hand reached for her face right away.

He wiped her tear away and he brought her close. Eren pressed his forehead against her own and cupped her face with both his hands. Titans were all around ready to eat them. He didn’t care. She was there with him. He could die now so long as she was there. But he couldn’t let it end like this. He had to live. He had a life to live by her side. He would gladly let himself die, but he’d never let anything hurt her.

“Mikasa,” Eren pressed a kiss on her forehead and Mikasa’s eyes almost widened. Her heart was about to burst off her chest. “I will always wrap your scarf,” he looked down at her. His eyes caught her own. “Always and forever. That’s a promise,” He stood up and walked protectively between her and the titan who had eaten Hannes and was about to attack them.

All he did was punch its palm and scream. The titan fell down revealing Levi behind who had just sliced off its nape. Two horses were nearby and he landed on one of them.

“Get on, brats,” Levi said.

“Yes, sir!”

But then the titans stopped attacking everyone else and they headed straight for the very titan that had eaten Hannes. They all started eating it. Levi’s eyes widened. _What the hell?!_ And then the titans headed straight for Reiner and Berthold and started eating them as well. Nathalie’s eyes widened. If it wasn’t for Ymir to go back and help them out, Reiner and Berthold would have been devoured. Nathalie groaned. _I guess Ymir won’t be joining us._ She was pretty sure Eren had _screamed_ before the titans attacked their own like they’ve been possessed, _right?_ Nathalie made a mental note to tell Hange once she’d get back.

Levi, Mikasa and Eren approached the others on their horses. The titans cannibalising each other was giving them enough time to leave. “Nathalie, with me,” Levi ordered and Nathalie raised an eyebrow. He was in no way letting her ride all the way back home beside Erwin. “I will not ask twice,”

Nathalie sighed as she jumped off her horse and mounted Levi’s right in front of him. She didn’t know that letting him _kiss_ her would come with him being a _massive_ _pain_ in her ass. Erwin just gave him a smile. “As you wish,” before he rode away on Nathalie’s horse following the rest of the troops. Levi urged his horse to start moving and a hand slipped around possessively her waist, while the other grabbed the reins and guided his horse.

“What was all that about?” Nathalie asked turning to shoot him a glare. He did not answer the question. He chose to change the subject instead.

“You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?” Levi just asked and Nathalie sighed as she rested her head back on his shoulder.

“No. You?” 

He gave her a smirk. “What do you think?” 


	33. Recovering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how do y'all feel about smut? This chapter doesn't have any smut, but the next ones might 👀 Just making sure y'all are comfortable with it ahahah lemme know in the comments! No worries, the first smut will be fluffy as hell 🥰
> 
> ......the next ones may turn out freaky as hell tho......
> 
> Enjoy! ❤

He couldn’t believe she had actually fallen asleep on his shoulder. After all those hours of riding fast on horseback, she had _actually_ slept. Levi wouldn’t blame her. It was a hell of a day that had gone by and it made sense if her wound weakened her slightly. She still needed time to recover. He was glad she was okay. He was glad that once more they had made it out of another mission outside the walls.

Levi couldn’t help staring down at her. Her back was pressing against his chest. She had a peaceful look on her face. Her eyes, closed. Her lips slightly parted as she breathed softly. Her glasses were still in place. She had gotten new ones two days ago since she had lost her previous ones during her battle in Utgard Castle. He could feel the texture of her bandages beneath his fingertips as one hand remained tightly around her and the other was holding the reins of his horse.

No other titans attacked them. They reached Trost District by nightfall. A hospital was going to be hosting them for the night, just like the end of any other mission. Hange’s Squad had set off to figure out what had happened on Ragako Village. It was Connie Springer’s hometown. Hange was still too injured to move and she’d be in the hospital. Moblit and her squad would get back to report what they found by the morning.

But for now, they finally arrived in Trost and they were safe behind its walls. Levi looked down at her. He couldn’t bring himself to wake her, but he had to. They still had to get their injured _brats_ in the hospital.

“Oi,” His hand found her cheek. It was funny to think of how all the previous times he’d _smack her_ across the face in order to wake her and now he could do nothing but press a kiss on her temple and whisper her name softly. “Wake up, Nat. We’re here,”

She drew in a deep breath before she opened her eyes and she finally looked up at him. “Oh dear…” she pulled her head off his shoulder right away and her hand reached for her eyes, rubbing gently beneath her glasses. “…did I actually fall asleep?! Oh God…” _falling asleep while on titan territory, what the hell’s wrong with you?!_ But she found that -even being on titan territory- there was no reason to be worried and afraid and tense about. She was on the same horse as Levi. Just knowing that he was there, was enough to let her guard down.

Levi jumped off his horse, and his hands reached up for her. She could unmount the horse on her own just fine, but since he offered to help, her hands reached for his shoulders and his own grabbed tightly around her helping her down. Nathalie let out a slight wince and her hand clutched immediately around the wound on her stomach.

“How’s your wound?” Levi asked worriedly.

Nathalie wiped the expression of pain off her face and she just gave him a smile. “It’s alright. No need to worry,” She said but she could tell she wasn’t convincing him.

He sighed as he let go of her and he grabbed the reins of his horse. “I’ll handle the horse. You get the brats to the hospital. I’ll join you afterwards,”

Nathalie nodded. “Alright,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

The doctors took Jean and Mikasa right in. Eren and Armin insisted they’d keep Mikasa company once the doctors would be out, and Sasha with Connie agreed to stay alongside Jean. Erwin and all the other injured were brought in and taken care of. Nathalie searched for Hange’s room. She knew there was no way Hange was sleeping no matter how late in the night it was. Nathalie didn’t really have to ask a nurse to find Hange’s room.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

 _Yeah,_ that could be no other than _Hange_. Nathalie knocked on the door before entering the room only to find Hange and Moblit. Hange was on the bed and Moblit was sitting beside her handing her a picture.

“Nat! Nat! Nat! You won’t fucking believe what we just- Look! Look! Look!” Hange handed that same picture to Nathalie. It was a woman and a man standing side by side with their kids all around. She raised an eyebrow.

“Is that Connie’s family?” She asked.

“Yes! Moblit, tell her!” Hange said turning at the man who was sitting beside her on the chair.

“We just got back from Ragako Village. The houses are in ruins, but there’s no dead bodies anywhere, no limbs, not even a drop of blood,” Moblit explained.

“Even if they escaped, there’s no way they’d get far. Their horses were there,” Hange said. “And even if they had already evacuated, the titans wouldn’t bother destroying the entire village,”

“But there’s one titan there. One that was standing right on top of Connie Springer’s home. The limbs are too small and the body too big to move,” Moblit explained. “That titan looks exactly like the woman in the picture,”

 _I knew it!_ So, the people had actually turned into titans. “Then the titans we fought in Utgard Castle, were all the villagers of Ragako,” She gritted her teeth. She didn’t like the idea of murdering people, but her theory was finally proven correct.

“I think you may have always been right,” Hange said. Her hand found her chin rubbing gently. “Titans are actually humans, who turned into titans somehow. Of course, the question now is _how,_ ”

“That abnormal that killed Mike,” Nathalie started as she sat beside Hange on the bed. “It let out shouts and commanded the titans into attacking us back in Utgard. What if this is the one who caused the villagers to turn into titans?”

“It is highly possible,” Moblit said.

“For all we know, the person stirring that abnormal could be working with Reiner and Berthold,” Hange added. She groaned. “I missed the party, didn’t I?”

Nathalie chuckled as Moblit started scolding her again. “Party?! Have you got any idea how many people died on this mission?! It could have been you one of them!” Moblit cried out worriedly.

“Oh, c’mon, it couldn’t have been me,” Hange rolled her eyes.

“You can’t know that!”

Hange groaned and she tried to stand up only for Moblit to push her back down. “Let me go, Mobby! I need to get back to the lab!”

“Hange, you’re in no condition to go anywhere and do anything. Stand down for now,” Moblit scolded her and Hange turned at Nathalie.

“Please, take him off me,” Hange said at Nathalie pleadingly and Nathalie chuckled shaking her head.

“Moblit’s right, you know,” Nathalie said and Hange groaned lying back down defeated. “You know he’s got nothing but your best interests at heart,”

“I know! But research cannot wait!”

Moblit groaned. “Hange-” but Nathalie cut him.

“You know what?” Nathalie took off Hange’s glasses and placed them on the bedside table. “How about we get some rest and once you feel better and my own wound gets better, we’ll get right back to research. How about that?”

Hange sighed. “Yeah, whatever,”

Nathalie stood up and turned at Moblit. “You stay with her and make sure she doesn’t try to get off bed tonight,”

“I wasn’t planning to do anything else, Captain,” Moblit said before he turned and gave Nathalie a look. “But you too better go get some rest,”

Nathalie nodded. “I will. It’s not like Levi will let me do anything else,”

“The same boring stuff from the same boring men,” Hange huffed boringly.

Nathalie chuckled. “Goodnight,” she said before she exited the room and gave the two a smile as they returned their ‘Goodnights’.

Hange looked up at Moblit who had crossed his hands against his chest and he rested at the back of his chair, closing his eyes briefly. It only took a moment before she finally spoke. “Are you gonna sleep on the chair?”

Moblit sighed. “It’s not like you’re giving me a choice,” he frowned, but still didn’t open his eyes.

Hange was never really daring when it came to that kind of stuff but… _oh fuck it._ There was nothing that she could lose. She grabbed his hand and pulled him on the bed beside her. Moblit’s eyes shot open as he was forced to sit beside her on the bed and his eyes widened.

“W- What are you-”

“Giving you a choice, now get in,” Hange said. He knew she wouldn’t get a _no_ for an answer. He sighed as he pushed off his boots and lied beside her and before he even knew it, she had an arm around his waist and her face was pressed right against his chest. Hange sighed contently and closed her eyes. “Great. Now stay still,”

Moblit couldn’t tell whether he was too nervous to move or whether he _didn’t want_ to move. Maybe it was the latter. But soon, she fell asleep and he found she was too peaceful and _cute_ when asleep. Her hair were a total mess and her night gown was too baggy but quite comfortable. The burn marks had slightly healed. She was going to be fully recovered in a few days. Soon he gathered the courage to pass his arms around her and he pressed his cheek on top of her hair. He closed his eyes and he was sure he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

No matter how insane she drove him sometimes - _most times actually_ \- he couldn’t imagine a day going by without her. 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie knew the director of the clinic. A brilliant doctor who had taught her all he knew. She grabbed a couple of blankets before she visited Jean’s room. Sasha and Connie had passed out on their chairs. Sasha was snoring louder than the other two boys. Nathalie covered Sasha and Connie in blankets. They must’ve been cold. And then, she headed for Mikasa’s room where she found Eren and Armin sitting on both sides. Mikasa was sleeping, Armin too had passed out on his chair, but Eren was still awake. He was holding Mikasa’s hand and he was staring at her worriedly. Nathalie smiled as she passed a blanket around Armin.

“Captain,” Eren whispered trying not to wake his friends and Nathalie turned and gave him a smile. “What are you-”

“Aren’t you cold?” Nathalie asked. He was in a t-shirt. _Of course, he was cold._ But she wasn’t expecting him to admit it.

“I’m fine,” Eren said but he wasn’t convincing her.

Nathalie placed a hand on his shoulder and she looked over at Mikasa. “What did the doctor say?”

Eren sighed. “Broken ribs, but no damage’s been done to vital organs,”

“Then don’t worry. She’s going to be alright,” Nathalie said reassuringly.

“It’s my fault. It’s my fault so many people died back there. They died trying to save me, and I couldn’t even turn,” Eren looked down at his hands. The bitemarks had vanished.

“No…” Nathalie shook her head and she knelt in front of him, catching his attention. “…people die in every single Expedition no matter the objective. It’s just how it is. It’s cruel, but we need to find out _why._ This is our primary objective. To find the truth,” She said and it seemed to help him calm down slightly. “When Reiner stabbed me, and I looked at him right in the eye, do you know what I saw? It wasn’t anger, nor hate. It was fear. No- _terror._ There’s something much bigger out there. Much bigger than Reiner and Berthold,”

“The real enemy…” Eren mumbled before he looked down at her. “…Captain, what do you suspect? Who’s the real enemy here?!”

Nathalie sighed. “All I suspect is that Reiner and Berthold were sent here by the real enemy. If you can remember the conversation between the two, write it down and hand it to us. Hange and I are going to study it and figure something out,”

Eren nodded determinedly. “I will, Captain,”

Nathalie stood back up and she messed his hair with her hand. “What have I told you? No need for formalities,”

“Uh… o- okay,” Eren cringed as she messed his hair badly enough to make a couple of strands fall on his forehead.

“Here,” Nathalie covered him in the last blanket and he opened his mouth to object but she cut him. “Get some rest, Eren. I’ll bring you all tomorrow something to eat,”

With no further words, Nathalie walked out of the room only to see Levi waiting outside with his back against the wall and his hands crossed against his chest. That familiar expression of utter boredom was once again _stamped_ on his face.

“You’re done babysitting?”

Nathalie rolled her eyes as the two of them started walking down the hall and eventually out of the hospital. “I’m not babysitting them, but I don’t want them to catch a cold either,”

“Yeah… that’s babysitting,” Levi said and she groaned and opened her mouth to speak, but he changed the subject. “We ride back to HQ and head back here in the morning. Erwin wants a full report on Ragako Village,” He mounted his horse and nodded at her. “Get on,”

Nathalie sighed. _I will not be seeing my horse again, will I?_ Before Nathalie could get the chance to object, something caught her attention. It was Historia. She was sitting outside with her back against the wall of the building. Her legs were gathered against her chest. Her face, buried on top of her knees as she snuggled further beneath her green cloak. Nathalie sighed. She knew Historia loved Ymir and Ymir had left. Chances of them seeing each other again were little, especially after what Historia had said. _If she doesn’t take me with her, they’ll kill her._

She looked sad, and of course, she was. She had just lost someone important to her. Nathalie had failed to convince Ymir after all. She couldn’t let the kid sit out there for the rest of the night. Levi stood beside Nathalie and he knew exactly what was going on in her mind. He sighed heavily.

“We’ll take the brat in for the night,” Levi said and Nathalie turned and looked at him surprised. “What?”

“Are you serious?!” It was the last thing Nathalie expected from him. Sure, she was going to suggest it, but to have him _agreeing_ without her saying so much as a word?

“Don’t I look it?” Levi asked sarcastically and before he even knew it, she was hugging him.

“Aww, Levi, sometimes I forget you’re such a softie,” Nathalie’s hands squeezed tightly around his shoulders and his own hands hesitantly reached around her waist. He didn’t really know what to say to that. _What the hell was she talking about?!_ He wasn’t a _softie._ He’d _never_ been. His old man had made sure of that before _abandoning him in the streets_ of the Underground.

“I- Uh- I’m not-”

“Right,” Nathalie pulled back. “I’ll go talk to her. You get another horse,” Nathalie went off before he even had the chance to say whether he agreed or not. Levi sighed heavily. _Fuck._ Nathalie was making him _too weak._

Still, he stared at her as she approached the little girl and she knelt in front of her, placing a hand on her shoulder and looking down at her. Nathalie always tended to be very good with kids. It almost reminded him how good she was with Isabel when she had first joined. He sighed. Maybe that was another thing that he liked about her.

Only when Nathalie reached close did she realise that Historia had been crying. It broke her heart watching her. Nathalie just knelt in front of her and she took out a handkerchief offering it to her. “Here,”

Historia looked at her for a moment before she took the handkerchief and used it to wipe her tears. “Thank you,” she said kindly, though, her voice still trembled.

Nathalie’s both hands found their way around her shoulders and she pulled the girl into a hug. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how Historia must have felt. Sure, losing a friend was one thing that Nathalie had suffered through many times in her life, but losing someone _you love?_ That was another. What if she ever lost Levi? What would she do? Even trying to imagine it to empathise with Historia, it hurt so _damn_ much.

Historia buried her face in Nathalie’s neck and she sobbed for a couple of minutes. The girl’s hands clutched on Nathalie’s cloak and Nathalie could do nothing but blame herself. What else could she say that she didn’t? Something that would have kept Ymir there. But Ymir had somehow wronged those people. She wouldn’t be able to live with a clear conscience knowing that she hadn’t given back what she had taken. Nathalie sighed heavily. _Life is a bitch._

She pulled back and looked at Historia. She cupped the girl’s face and wiped her tears away from her cheeks. “Come,” She helped the girl up and she passed a hand around her shoulders. “You’re staying with us for tonight,”

Levi showed up with two horses and Historia tensed up. “C- Captain, Levi,”

Nathalie patted her shoulder. She knew everybody was scared of Levi. She wouldn’t blame them. “It’s alright, he doesn’t bite,”

Levi frowned. “Get on, brat,” it was the only thing he said before he mounted his horse, and Nathalie with Historia shared the other. They reached the Special Ops HQ in just a few minutes. It wasn’t far from Trost, and the three of them headed straight to bed.

That was a _hell_ of a day. 


	34. The New Levi Squad

“Come again?!” Commander Pyxis asked surprised as Hange, Nathalie and Connie explained their assumptions on the people of Ragako Village turning into titans. “You’re saying that the titans responsible for this were the citizens of Ragako?!”

They had gathered in Erwin’s room in the hospital. Commander Pyxis had visited Erwin, whose hand was getting better and better by the day. Levi was sitting on a chair beside Erwin and Commander Pyxis was sitting on a chair by the other side. Nathalie and Hange had just walked in with Connie. Nathalie couldn’t imagine how much hard it could have been for Connie.

“It is highly likely,” Nathalie said.

“I see,” Erwin said. “So, in actuality, titans are human beings,” He looked up at Nathalie. “Your assumption was correct, Captain,”

Levi’s eyes widened when the realisation struck him. _Fuck._ After all those murders that he had committed in the Underground, he thought he had stopped killing people, only to find out that he never really stopped.

“Well, we… don’t have proof yet,” Hange said.

“Great. Perfect,” Levi said bitterly and Nathalie sighed. She knew he wouldn’t like this. “I’ve spent all this time. All this energy, and the things I’ve been carving through like carrion were people,”

It wasn’t just Levi. Nobody liked the idea of killing actual people. “Look,” Hange said. “We don’t know for a certainty,”

 _True_. They had no actual proof except maybe the picture of Connie’s mom and that titan’s face that looked _exactly_ like her. There must have been some way that they could turn her back to normal. Nathalie was sure of it. There was definitely something that she could do. She had promised Connie a ride back to his village. She was going to go with him and figure it out. There must have been something that she could do.

If she could figure out a way to turn titans back into humans, then that could also be how they _win._ Hange, Connie, and Commander Pyxis left no long after. The only ones left in the room were Levi and Nathalie who was staring outside the window.

Levi turned at Erwin and asked. “Now what?” But much to his surprise, Erwin had a large smile on his face. Levi’s eyes widened. _What the hell?!_ “Um, excuse me. What’s with that smile?”

“I don’t see how killing actual people can be something to smile about,” Nathalie raised an eyebrow as she took her attention from the window and she turned at the Commander.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Erwin said. “Just… seems to me we’ve taken one more step toward the truth,”

“Wow. One whole step, huh? At this pace we’ll run out of people before we actually reach it,” Levi said. “Not a good rate of return,”

“Everything comes at a price. One day we’ll get close enough to break through. The wall barring us from the truth will tumble,” Erwin said, and maybe he was right. Nathalie only wished she and Levi would get to live to see that day.

“It’s not all so bad about titans being people…” Nathalie said. “…if humans can turn into titans then there must be some way for titans to turn back into humans,”

Erwin looked at Nathalie with nothing but hope in his eyes. “If you and Hange could make it happen we… we could end this,”

Nathalie nodded but she sighed, sitting beside him on the bed. “It’s not easy. It’s clear that the enemy possesses technology that we can’t even dream about,” She thought about the canned food. She had explained it all to Erwin and he knew what she was talking about. “Even if we end all titans and find our enemy beyond the walls, who knows what kind of firepower they have. Who knows how much they know on titans that we don’t,”

“Until then, Nathalie, there’s no reason to think of _what_ exists out there until we get there,” Erwin said. His good hand found her own and drew her attention. “We have to focus on now. And now, you and Hange need to figure this out,”

Erwin had that look in his eyes. The one that let her know he was pressing another weight on her shoulders. But Nathalie was sure she could figure this out. _No._ She was _absolutely certain_ there was some way. If humans can turn into titans, then titans can turn back into humans. It was that unspeakable certainty that she never knew where it had come from, but it was still there. She didn’t know why but she knew exactly where to look at. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts when Levi pulled her hand away from Erwin’s and urged her to stand up. “It’s time you get your wound checked,” he reminded her, although she could tell, he was only trying to make her leave the room. He didn’t like the sight of Erwin touching her, even if it was just her hand. _No._ He didn’t like the sight of _anybody_ touching her. Nathalie was _his. His_ alone to look at and touch and call her _nicknames._

Even though he still maintained that dead, aloof look on his face, Nathalie could tell exactly what he was thinking and what he was actually doing. She didn’t want to create a scene. Besides, she always followed him. She always did what he said, and she never minded things to be that way. She had submitted to this man long before she had even realised it.

Nathalie stood up pulling her hand away from Levi’s and giving the two a smile. “Levi’s right, the doctor will be waiting for me,” She said, even though, she had _no appointment with any doctor_.

“Before you leave…” Erwin said and Levi visibly frowned. “…I was thinking of assigning you two a new Special Operations Squad. The cadets from the 104th will do. Your primary objective will be to keep Historia Reiss and Eren safe,”

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “Historia too?”

“Yes,” Erwin nodded. “After Hange interrogated Pastor Nick, the only clue he gave was Historia’s importance in all this. I suspect it had something to do with her origins,”

“Well, she is related to a noble family,” Nathalie said.

“What if she is something more?” Erwin asked Nathalie took a moment to think. She sighed. What more could she be? She needed more time to think about this. “Nathalie,” Erwin drew her attention. “Do whatever necessary to figure out a way to turn titans back into humans. This may be how we win,”

Nathalie nodded. So, the fate of humanity was going to rest on her shoulders as well? _Great. Fantastic. No pressure._ Maybe she shouldn’t even have suggested that. There was no going back now. At least, she could finally understand how Eren felt. “Yes, sir,”

“Now, whoever chooses to be the Captain or the Lieutenant of the 104th, you two can work it between yourselves,” Erwin said.

Nathalie opened her mouth to speak only for Levi to cut her. “I’ll lead the brats. Nat, you’re my Lieutenant,” Nathalie raised an eyebrow. _Don’t I get a say in this?_ She was going to have a _few words_ with Levi later.

“Yes, sir,” Nathalie said but she didn’t try to cover the sarcasm in her voice.

She walked out of the room trying her best to hold back a groan of frustration. _You dominative fuck!_ Did he count her opinion on matters at all? She kicked the floor and groaned. She should have known it would be this way. She knew what she was getting herself into when she kissed him back. She wasn’t regretting it, though. She’d never regret falling for Levi. It was still her first time falling for someone and it felt too tense. The emotions and the _butterflies_ in her stomach were too unbearable when he was around. It was both exciting and _exhausting_.

She didn’t even know what she felt anymore. Was she really mad at him for being bossy and _dominant_ and overprotective? Maybe that’s where the _butterflies_ had come from, but these shouldn't be reasons to make her _fall_ for him even more. These should be reasons for her to be mad at him, but in the end, she realised she wasn’t mad at him, she was mad at _herself_ , for submitting so easily. Nathalie was never one to go down without a fight. She had very much proven that in the fight of Utgard Castle. But when it came to Levi, she was just too _weak._

Nathalie knew of only _one thing_ that could help her calm down right now. _Cooking._ Thank goodness, she knew the director of the clinic, and she knew he’d let her use the hospital’s kitchen. 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie pushed the door open with her back. It was supposed to be Mikasa’s room, but everyone was there. She really liked how those kids were good friends with one another. But the first to jump to her feet and _attack_ on whatever Nathalie had on her tray, was Sasha.

“MEAT!”

Jean raised an eyebrow. He had a tight bandage around his head and Nathalie was about to scold him for being out of bed, but Sasha had already grabbed a chicken leg and she had stuffed it in her mouth.

“Meat?!” Jean asked surprised. They hadn’t tasted meat in so, _so long._

Tears ran down Sasha’s eyes as she bit on the chicken leg like a wild, starved _animal._ “IT’S SO GOOD!” She grabbed the entire chicken with her hands and started biting on it hungrily.

“Sasha! Leave something for us too, dammit!” Connie scolded her.

Nathalie chuckled. “It’s alright, I made enough for everyone,”

“Where did you find the chicken?” Jean asked.

“I might have used the hospital’s rations,” Nathalie shrugged as she watched Sasha and Connie stuffing their faces hungrily.

“Did you steal them?!” Eren cried out.

“No, relax,” Nathalie laughed. “The director of the clinic is a good friend of mine. I practiced medicine in this hospital,”

“So, you’re a doctor?” Armin asked.

Nathalie shrugged as she sat on Mikasa’s bed beside the girl and she handed Mikasa a bowl of chicken soup. “More or less. I prefer research,” She handed another bowl to Armin, Eren, and Jean whilst Connie and Sasha were stuffing their faces with the chicken. “Did you all have a good rest?” Armin nodded and Nathalie turned at Mikasa. “You’re not in pain, are you? I could get you some morphine if you are,”

Mikasa shook her head and gave her a smile. “No. I’m okay,”

“I could be in pain too, you know,” Jean said with a slight tone of irritation. Nathalie raised an eyebrow. _Jealous?_

“I was just about to scold you for being out of bed,” Nathalie said. “You shouldn’t be up after bashing your head like that!”

“He’s fine,” Eren raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like bashing his head would make any difference,” he said sarcastically and Jean’s nerves twitched as he approached Eren and looked at him straight in the eye. 

“Oh yeah?! I only bashed my head so that I could save your girlfriend over here. What did _you_ do?” Jean cried out.

Mikasa’s cheeks flushed a bright red “I- Uh… W- Were not-”

But Eren stood his ground as always. “You damn horse-face, who was the one who kept the titans from eating you?!”

Jean growled ready to throw something back, but Nathalie got between the two. She placed a hand on their shoulders drawing both their attention. “Calm down, kids. You both helped out there. We’re supposed to be friends and look out for each other, not rival each other,”

Jean and Eren both sighed and calmed down. “Nat’s right,” Jean said. He extended his hand forward for a handshake. “Truce?”

Eren sighed as he shook his hand. “Alright,”

“Great,” Nathalie smiled at the two. “Now eat your soup. You guys must be hungry,”

“CAPTAIN!” Sasha screamed as she ran hastily towards Nathalie and grabbed Nathalie by the shirt. “DO YOU COOK LIKE THAT EVERY DAY?! PLEASE ADOPT ME, MY PARENTS HATE ME!”

“Please adopt me too, it reminds me my mom’s,” Connie said with tears in his eyes as he brought up the picture of his parents and sobbed staring at it.

 _Oh my God, I love those kids so much…_ “Of course, I will,” Nathalie pulled them both in a hug and both Connie and Sasha sobbed on her shoulder for different reasons. Nathalie patted their heads as she pulled back and turned at Connie. She wiped his tears with her knuckles. “Connie, I _will_ find a way to reverse what happened to your mom. I promise you that,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Levi was waiting for her outside the hospital. His back was pressed against the wall of the building and his hands were crossed against his chest staring boringly at the soil beneath his feet. Nathalie met him there and he stood straight turning to look at her. Dusk had finally arrived, but the sky was covered in thick, grey clouds. Nathalie could almost smell the ammonia in the air. It was going to rain soon.

“Erwin’s giving the brats about a week to recover. We’ll be staying in HQ and Hange will take care of Historia till then,” Levi informed her and Nathalie nodded. She thought about scolding him, but she didn’t have the energy for that at the moment. “We ride back to HQ,” Levi mounted his horse and he spread out his hand to help her up on the same horse.

He was never going to let her ride on her horse alone, was he? Still, Nathalie couldn’t bring herself to say anything. It almost seemed like he no longer had that aloof, _dead_ expression on his face. It almost looked like his lips were curling upwards even for just a little. That white ascot was still around his neck, and he was finally properly wearing that black jacket.

And now he was offering a hand to help her up and sit beside him. Nathalie got those _butterflies_ again, and she realised, she couldn’t bring herself to be mad at this man. Not when he was _almost_ smiling. She was the only one who could see it, but it was so _damn_ precious.

Her hand reached up and sank in his own. He pulled her up easily and she sat in front of him on the back of his horse. His one hand found its way possessively around her waist, and the other wrapped the reins. Nathalie couldn’t help but feel his gaze resting on her. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder. His eyes caught her own and his hand reached for her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. A bright blush could be easily seen on her cheeks.

Her glasses rested just above her nose and she pulled her eyes away from his. If she had kept staring, she’d only get even redder. It was the last thing that her _ego_ wanted right now. But she was _gorgeous._ Everything about her just seemed _too perfect._ Too perfect to be _his._

His hand cupped her face and he leaned down to her, finally meeting her lips with his own. He met her taste and he tried his best to hold a groan back. But she let out a tiny moan that made his blood ran hot in his veins. He was right. She was too _good_ for somebody like him. Too innocent. _Sure,_ she could _torture_ people just as good as he could, but Nathalie always looked _too good_ in his eyes. _Too perfect for him._ But _by God_ , she was all _his_. He was going to make sure it would stay that way. He pulled back to allow her to breathe before he grabbed the reins and urged his horse to start moving.

Her head rested back against his chest through the entire ride, and his hand did not loosen its hold around her waist till they actually reached the castle. Night had fallen when they got _home_ and they headed straight for bed. Nathalie couldn’t tell whether he expected her to sleep beside him, but she could tell he was frowning when she got in her room and closed the door behind. Still, he didn’t stop her. And she was still kind of _bitter_ about before, _so…_ it only made sense that she wouldn’t give him what he wanted.

Even though, she owed him her life, and not just for this one time, but for all those times before. It wasn’t always that Nathalie needed rescuing. She could fight off anything. Levi had taught her everything _and more._ But they have been through _hell_ both in the Underground and in the Scouts. Nathalie and Levi were just meant to keep saving each other. She had _saved_ him from his misery and that impending _depression,_ and she didn’t even know it. 

But there was a whole lot more that Nathalie started thinking about once she lied down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. _Humans turning into titans. Titans turning back into humans._ If she didn’t know _how_ humans could turn into titans, then she couldn’t hope to know how to reverse it. She realised they barely knew anything on Titan Biology.

They didn’t have digestive system. _Why?_ And their limbs were too light-weighed. _Why?_ And their only weak spot was their nape. She and Hange had searched for other weak spots. They had stabbed legs, eyes, brains, limbs. Nothing could kill them but the nape, and for all she knew, Eren, in his titan form, he controlled his titan by the nape.

It made sense since there’s nothing but the spinal cord there. If somebody could move the limbs of an organism, it was going to be through the spinal cord. _All neurons are connected to the spinal cord and thus movement can be achieved in all limbs._ She reminded herself. She knew there was something important about the _spinal fluid_. _Wait!_ Her eyes widened.

_How do I know that?!_

How could she know things that weren’t written in books and she had never read? How could she be so certain about those things even though nothing had been proven?

Nathalie had no idea. She just _knew_ things. She just always knew how to read and write. She just always knew the basics of Titan Biology without reading them anywhere. And then it was those few words from that abnormal.

**_“…never thought the Burgesses would survive…”_ **

What did he mean by that? Did the guy stirring that abnormal know her parents? Did he know their origins? Could her parents be linked to that guy’s origins? To Reiner’s and Berthold’s and Annie’s origins?

Nathalie shut her eyes and turned into a much comfortable position. She buried her face in her pillow and she groaned. She was getting a headache already. They didn’t know anything. They had absolutely no idea how the titans _worked,_ how could she hope to figure out how to turn Connie’s mother back into a normal human being?

But she had given a promise to that kid. She had promised and she couldn’t fail. Not when he’d look at her with those honey, shiny eyes filled with tears and _freaking_ asking her to _adopt him_ just because her cooking reminded him of his mom’s. She couldn’t fail that kid. Nathalie had failed lots of people in her life. She had failed Levi, by letting Furlan and Isabel die. She had failed Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther. She had failed their families by not bringing them back. She had failed Ymir. She had failed Historia by not being able to convince Ymir to stay. And for all she knew Ymir was going to die and it was going to be one of her many faults. 

Nathalie gritted her teeth. So much _pressure_. _Why must we live like this? Why must we live in fear and terror and guilt? No_. Nathalie had to figure out what the Commander had asked no matter how _impossible_ it sounded. If she didn’t, then the world would keep suffering, and she’d be damned if she allowed the future generations to deal with the problems that they could all solve _now_. Erwin, Hange, the Scouts, Levi, Mike, his squad. Hers and Levi’s long-gone squad. They all believed in this. That’s why they all risked _everything_.

Nathalie had to too. 


	35. I Have You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're in luck! This is a 5,2k word chapter and it's the first 🎉smut✨ 
> 
> But of course, the smut is only like 500 words or sth whilst the rest is just fluff and angst and soft, soft, soft angsty stuff...
> 
>  _I'm a total failure_ 🤣
> 
> Still! Lemme know if you like it! Hopefully I'll get my ~~shit~~ together and I'm gonna write spicier smut BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, LEVI'S SO HOT, HE'S GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME OMFG-
> 
> Anyways! This chapter took me two days to write and I hope you guys like it! Do expect mention of _virginity loss_ which I hope it doesn't trigger you in any way, if it does, just read the first 3k words which are all fluff, and then leave it at that ahahahah but I promise it is fluffy as hell!! 🥰
> 
> Enjoy! ❤

_“You have to do it!”_

_“I can’t- I can’t kill you, Amelia!”_

_“You have to! If you don’t, and it spreads, everybody’s going to die. You, Nathalie, every single citizen-”_

_“If they weren’t so goddamn primitive here, I could have dealt with it! If only I had a-”_

_“It’s alright, Johannes. Please… do it…”_

_“Momma?”_

_“Don’t touch me! Stay away, Nathalie! Johannes, get her out of here!”_

_“I’m so sorry,”_

**_“…never thought the Burgesses would survive…”_ **

And then it was Mike’s screams while being squeezed to death. And then it was Nanaba’s and Gelgar’s screams as well, begging for her help whilst the titans were ripping them apart, and all that Nathalie could do was _watch_. But then it was also her mother’s screams when her father dug a knife in her heart. And then it was the sorrow in the eyes of Eld’s wife when she and Levi told her how _miserably_ they had failed to save her husband and the father of her child.

Nathalie desperately snapped out of it.

She jumped off her bed. Sweat soaked her clothes as she pulled the bedsheets off and breathed hard trying to calm down from the terrible nightmare. Nathalie wasn’t used to getting a good night’s rest. She wasn’t used to sleeping peacefully. She wasn’t used to having a moment’s peace in her head.

But she already had tears rolling down her cheeks as she sat in a sitting position on her bed and she buried her face in her hands. Only then did she realise her hands were shaking. It was still late in the night. The only light, the moonlight that gently slipped through her window. She knew it had rained, but now it seemed that the sky was clear, which meant that the temperature had dropped.

Another cold, _ruthless_ night.

Nathalie replayed the conversation in her head. It was of the two people that she had never gotten to know. _Her parents_. She didn’t remember much about them, she just knew the _tragedy_ that took place right before she left _home._ She couldn’t understand how she was beginning to remember such conversations only now. _After all this time..._ her mind had been filled with nothing but questions, but _now…_ Nathalie had a pretty good idea of what was going on, but she didn’t want to think about it.

She stood up and walked out of her room. Her hands were still trembling. Even though she had covered herself in her robe, and her body was drenched in sweat, she was still _cold. Cold_ and _terrified._ She fisted her hands in a desperate attempt to stop the shaky movement. She walked downstairs and headed for the kitchen. She needed water.

And when she got there, she went straight for a glass, pouring some water into it from the jug that stood on the kitchen counter. She chugged it down her throat, before she turned and pressed her hipbones back against the wooden counter, resting some of her weight there. She crossed her hands against her chest after she left the glass back down on the counter. Her hands were still shaking. _Dammit._ A cold drop of sweat ran down her forehead. _Another mental breakdown._ She should have gotten used to these by now.

She never thought such nightmares could frighten her so much.

_“You have to do it!”_

_“I can’t- I can’t kill you, Amelia!”_

_“You have to! If you don’t, and it spreads, everybody’s going to die. You, Nathalie, every single citizen-”_

So, her father was actually _forced_ to kill her mother. It wasn’t just the two of them shouting at each other because they hated each other. Nathalie had spent her whole life believing that her father was a murderer. But why was she remembering these now? What the hell was going on with her memories? It was all such _a mess_.

_“If they weren’t so goddamn primitive here, I could have dealt with it! If only I had a-”_

Maybe her assumptions were correct. Maybe her parents were never born _here_ , behind the walls. They came from the outside. From that same place that Reiner, Berthold, Annie, and the beast titan had come from. But where was that? _Beyond the walls_. That was for sure. But that also meant that Nathalie’s own origins weren’t from behind the walls either. _What the hell am I?_

And maybe that’s why she was _terrified. What am I?_ Because she knew _reading a book_ and _memorising it instantly_ wasn’t normal. _Reading and writing without ever being shown how to do it_ wasn’t normal either. And knowing things on titan biology that hadn’t been proven or discussed in _any book_ just _wasn’t normal._

“Can’t sleep?”

Nathalie jumped in her place. She looked up and she realised it was Levi. He was sitting on the kitchen table, perfectly relaxed with a mug of tea that had probably turned cold. _Wait._

“How long have you been standing there?!” Nathalie cried out.

Levi did not answer right away. He just sipped on his tea but did not stop staring at her with that same aloof, indifferent expression on his face. It was obvious that he had been sitting on that chair just staring at her for several minutes. “Long enough,”

Nathalie groaned as she rubbed her forehead trying to ease that insistent headache. “You seriously need to stop stalking people,”

“I wasn’t stalking. You walked in. I was already here,” Levi stated simply as he took another sip from his tea.

Nathalie sighed. Maybe he was right. He was just too good at being silent, and with all those things in her mind, there was no way she could spot him sitting in the darkest corner of the room. It was still late in the night - _or early in the morning, at this point_ \- and there was nothing but darkness and the faint moonlight that stole in through the windows.

“Can’t sleep either?” Nathalie asked and Levi just shook his head in response.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had _actually_ slept through an entire night without jumping up from the nightmares or the pressure. Most nights he would choose not to sleep _at all_. That’s why he didn’t want her to _lead._ He didn’t want her to become the permanent Captain of the 104th. That’s why he had made sure she would be his Lieutenant and he hadn’t even asked for her opinion on the matter. He knew what her opinion would be. She would bear all his burdens and he wouldn’t even have to ask. But he didn’t want that for her. She had already taken upon her shoulders to figure out things about the titans that were _impossible_ to figure out.

Although, it was no wonder that Erwin had assigned her something like that. Nathalie had always been the smartest out of everyone. If there was anybody who could figure this out, it was _her_. Still, he didn’t want to add any more burdens on her shoulders. Watching her like this, trying desperately to hide the shaky movement of her hands. Fists, clenched, hair, soaked in sweat. He knew exactly how all this pressure could make a mess of someone. It was the last thing that he wanted for her. But how could he speak all these out? How could he form the words? He was never one to speak. He always found more value in _actions_ than _words._ Nathalie knew him. He never _had_ to speak. She just knew what his silence was trying to _say_.

And just like that, she had slipped between him and the table. Even though he knew she was probably mad about before, she was still there to provide him comfort. She was still there to pull him in one of her warm, welcoming hugs. She was the only one he had, and he was still _robbing_ her of her freedom. Not letting her ride a horse on her own. Not letting her decide whether she wanted to be the Captain of the kids that she obviously cared so much about. Not letting anybody touch her. He had no idea why he was being like this. He hadn’t been like this for anyone else before. He just wanted her _with him_ at all times and he didn’t know why in the world he was so, so _in need_ of her.

But he didn’t think about it. He buried his face in her belly and he shut his tired eyes. He couldn’t feel the texture of her bandages beneath. She had probably taken them off for the night. Her fingers found his hair and he sighed in relief. What was he going to do without these? They were just small, _insignificant_ moments that just held so much _significance._ His hands slipped around her waist and he brought her closer, trapping her between him and the table.

He sighed and he knew he was going to regret saying this, but he said it anyway. “If you want to be the Captain of the 104th, go for it,”

Nathalie’s eyes widened and she stopped caressing his hair for a moment. It was obvious to him that he had surprised her. She pulled back just to look at him in the eye and make sure he had _actually_ said that. But in the end, she realised, she didn’t care about holding the Captain’s title. _No._ That was the last thing that she cared about. She just wanted him to _acknowledge_ her, and he had. Telling her this, _right now_ , proved her wrong for being mad at him before. She knew that whatever he did was to protect her.

She was going to follow his lead just like she had always had. He was _her_ Captain and she was _his_ Lieutenant. It had been like this from the very beginning. It would be simply _odd_ to change it now. Nathalie gave him a warm smile and she cupped his face. He closed his eyes when her thumb slipped gently across his cheek. Nobody’s touch could be so warm and tender. He revelled in it. He never had anybody to touch him like this but her.

“You lead, I follow,” Nathalie said and he opened his eyes to look up at her surprised. “It has always been like this, and it always will be,”

His arms tightened around her and he stood up. It was now her turn to look up at him and he, down at her. Had she really just said that? Did she really mean it? He looked at the way she stared back at him and he could tell that she meant it. Was she really willing to put her life in his hands just as much as he was willing to put his life in her own? _Of course,_ she did. She _loved him._ He _loved her._ It was as simple as that.

He never thought he would have that. A precious warm feeling in his chest that he never thought he’d ever experience. He cupped her face and she leaned on his hand, turning to press a kiss on his calloused thumb, showing him just how much _she_ needed _him._ It was such a small simple move yet it meant so much to him. His thumb gently brushed across her lower lip, and before he even knew it, he was kissing her.

He couldn’t hold back. His lips crushed against her own and she tasted the sweet jasmine tea on his tongue. Her fingers clenched in his hair. She needed him closer and he complied immediately to her silent wish. He picked her up. His arms only tightened around her pressing her whole body against his own. Still, he was being as careful as he could manage. Pressing down on her sensitive wound was the last thing that he wanted. Her arms slipped around his shoulders and he only stopped kissing her so that he could bury his face in her neck and carry her back upstairs.

He wasn’t going to let her sleep on her own. Not when he knew she was having nightmares. There was nothing that he could do to prevent those nightmares. All that he could do was be there to hold her. He lied her down, gently on the soft mattress and he tried to pull away but he realised that he _couldn’t_. She was _breathtaking._ Lying there, on his bed, in the faint moonlight of the night. Her white, sleeveless gown barely reached her thighs, and her hair were once again a wonderful mess against his pillow. She wasn’t wearing her glasses. He was sure she had rested them somewhere in her room.

Still, he found himself unable to do anything but _stare_. How could he neglect such beauty all those years? How could he not see the bright blue of her eyes, the gorgeous pink of her lips? It all surpassed the beauty that most women would try to enhance with their _useless_ makeup. She needn’t any of these. She was _perfect_.

He hadn’t realised he was staring till her hands cupped his face, and snapped him back to reality. “Just kiss me, you dork,”

He couldn’t believe she had actually called him that. He opened his mouth to protest, but she let out one of her sweet giggles and he forgot whatever it was that he had to say. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted _so much_ to do to her. He wanted to feel her body tremble beneath his own. He wanted to hear her gasps and whimpers. He wanted to hear her _cry out_ his name and _beg_ for him to claim her and make a _mess_ of her.

But his self-restraint was stronger than that. _Far_ stronger. He wasn’t going to do any of that to her. _Not yet,_ at least. He didn’t want to _hurt_ her. It was going to be her first time. He wasn’t going to proceed and do anything unless she asked him to. 

He still found himself leaning closer and kissing her. Her lips responded right away and her hands found his hair, once again messing them with her thin fingers. She could feel his weight pressing down all around her on the mattress as his body hovered above her own. His hands were everywhere. His fingers snuck beneath her gown and dug a little bit harsher on her thigh than he intended to. She gasped and it only made him kiss her even harder.

Her taste alone was intoxicating. He couldn’t bring himself to imagine about how _the rest of her_ tasted. He bit down on her lip slightly before he pulled back to listen to another soft gasp that she let out. Their eyes met once more. His forehead pressed against her own and their noses barely touched. His breath brushed warm against her lips. His taste, still on her tongue and she wanted _more._ That tight anticipation had gathered in her abdomen. A feeling she had only explored on her own, years back, but never cared to look much into it. She never really had the time.

She had never done this before. She just never cared to _do it._ But if somebody should ever _claim_ her, she wanted it to be no one but him. The man that she had known for as long as she could remember herself. The man that she loved and trusted with her life. Nobody knew her as much as he did.

Before she had the chance to say any of that, he buried his face in her neck and he started pressing kisses and tiny nips. She never thought she’d be so sensitive there. His tongue was hot and slick against her skin. She shivered. He reached her chest, kissing every single part of her. Her body almost trembled in need. His hands were everywhere. Rough fingers snuck beneath her gown and brushed across the soft skin of her stomach, her waist, her thighs. He wanted to explore every bit of her. He wanted her naked and beneath him. She was _his_ to touch and do as he please.

His teeth sank a little deeper in the flesh of her neck. She gasped as he left his first mark on her and it stung, but he wiped the stinging pain with his tongue and the tiny kisses that he laid all around. He was going to cover her in his marks that would keep reminding her who she belonged to. _Him._

His fingers clenched on her gown. He wanted it off of her. He wanted her naked and exposed. But before he had the chance to pull it off of her, she grabbed his hands and stopped him. He looked back up at her, almost terrified at the thought of doing something wrong that had hurt her in any way.

“W- Wait, I’m… I’m not-”

These were enough to let him know what she was trying to say. Nathalie never considered herself _beautiful._ She never _liked_ her body, and that was probably the reason why she hadn’t tried anything with anyone. She was scared of being exposed like this to someone, even Levi. Even if it was the man that she had grown up with and probably knew better than herself. He cupped her face and cut her. He didn’t want to hear her speak about how much she _hated_ herself and her body. He just wanted to let her know that she was _loved._

“You’re beautiful, Nat,” He cut her firmly with this, and her eyes slightly widened in surprise. Was he really saying that? If only she could see herself the way he saw her. He caught her lips in his own once more, just to show her how much he felt for her, even though he knew, a kiss could barely describe the intensity of those feelings. _Emotions_ that he hated so much a while back, he was now embracing them just because she needed him to. He pulled back from the kiss just to see the look in her eyes as she met his own. “I love you. No matter what you see in your reflection in the mirror, I still see the woman I love,”

She never thought he’d tell her that. It was now time to swallow back her fears, and insecurities. She could never hide anything from that man. She trusted him with her life. He wasn’t going to hurt her. He wasn’t going to _break her heart._ Maybe that was what she was scared about the most. She always got easily attached, which meant that she could get easily hurt as well. But this was Levi. He loved her. And she believed it wholeheartedly because he had proven that countless times.

And when he pushed off her gown, she actually let him this time, but now her cheeks were so warm, that she was sure, if there was light, there was no way he’d miss it. Still, she thanked the darkness, but her hands had instinctively wrapped around her shyly. Levi’s eyes locked upon her own as he gently pushed her hands away in pinned them beside her head with his own before he leaned in and trapped a nipple in his mouth.

He sucked and bit hard enough to elicit those sounds of her that he’d never get tired of hearing. He allowed her hands to find his hair again, but this time her own fingers snuck beneath his shirt and traced his skin. It wasn’t fair. He pushed off his shirt, revealing the perfectly built body beneath that he had earned through all those fights and all that _running._ Her fingers traced his back, his shoulders, his scars. Souvenirs from Expeditions and missions in the Underground. She had stitched up those wounds herself back in the day. It wasn’t the first time she’d see him shirtless.

But she had never touched him like this. Touching every bit of his body whilst he kissed and sucked and licked her own. His tongue was warm and slick. He reached her belly and found her wound. He pressed a gentle kiss on top of the torn flesh. It was going to leave a terrible scar, but he didn’t care. He kissed it again and again just to let her know that _he didn’t care._ He _loved_ her. It wasn’t the only scar that she had. She had _many_ , just like him. Those scars were always there to remind them the hell that they had been through. But they had been through that hell _together._

And then, he reached her lower abdomen. He caught the soft fabric of her knickers slipping it down her legs and finally revealing her sweet, glistening heat. She was so wet. So wet for _him._ He dove right in like a starving man in a buffet. She let out a small cry and her whole body clenched. Her back arched up as she brought her body closer to whatever he was doing to her with his mouth. She’d tease her clit with her fingers but she never had to dive deeper. She only needed this to release the tension or indulge the outburst of hormones during adolescence, but what he was doing to her now was in no way something she had felt before.

His skilful tongue lapped against her clit and he found that he couldn’t stop tasting her. He couldn’t stop eliciting those gasps, and moans, and whimpers out of her, and he knew if he kept this up, it’d be too difficult for him to hold back. Her hands fisted in his hair just before he pushed a finger inside of her and her whole body tensed. He looked up at her. Her chest rose and fell, matching her heavy breathing. Eyes shut. Her lips bitten and swollen by him.

Her fingers clenched in his hair and urged him to come back up at her. She caught his lips and tasted herself on his tongue. He growled in her mouth and his fingers started working on insanely tight circles around her clit. She gasped and he broke the kiss just to stare at her. Levi kissed his way to her ear. He grazed her earlobe whilst his hands kept rubbing mercilessly against her sensitive nerves. Her hands found their way around his shoulders making sure to keep him close.

“L- Levi, I’m gonna-”

“Come for me, Nat,” His breath brushed warm against her ear.

It wasn’t a request. It was an _order_. Nathalie buried her face in his shoulder. Her short nails dug in his flesh and she bit on his shoulder muffling her scream when she came. He whole body clenched as he brought her hard down the edge of ecstasy. He traced his wet fingers on her thigh and he kissed her again. He muffled her heavy breathing as he forced his tongue in her mouth and down her throat. She groaned. Her hands tightened around him forcing their chests together to feel his heartbeat on top of her own. If it weren’t for his hands keeping him up, he would’ve crushed her.

His pants were getting tighter, and tighter around his erection. He wanted to take her till he’d hear her scream. He wanted to watch her while her body would tremble beneath him and his name would hang from her lips like a prayer. _Dammit._ He rubbed his clothed bulge against her thigh. He was so _damn_ hard it almost hurt. But he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her, but he was beyond restraining himself at this point.

He pushed off whatever piece of clothing he was still wearing, kicking it away with his feet. He caught his erection in his hand and it was all he could do to hold back a groan. He was already soaked in precum. His cock brushed against her belly. He guided himself to her opening. His tip pressed slightly and she gasped. Wide eyes met his own.

“L- Levi, I’ve never-”

“I know,” He said and he cupped her face. He pressed his forehead on top of her own. Eyes, locked. “Say the word and I’ll stop right now,” Although he had no idea how he’d bring himself to _stop_ and he hoped she wouldn’t ask him to.

But she found she _didn’t want him to stop_. She wanted him to _take her. Claim_ her as his own. She didn’t want anybody else to do it. She would never muster the courage for anyone else. She didn’t _want_ to. She was ready to completely submit to this man. _Who am I kidding?_ She already had.

She cupped his face and she looked up at that look of anxious anticipation. “Take me,” She whispered gently against his lips.

He stared at her for a short moment making sure she meant that. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” She gave him that warm smile and he was relieved.

He pressed the tip to her opening and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s going to hurt,” He said warningly and she buried her face in his neck. Her hands tightened around him, bracing herself. It was alright. She could handle it. She had handled worse.

He pushed in, slow and careful, but her body still tensed. Her fingers clutched on his shoulders and her legs closed around his waist tightly. She let out a muffled cry and her head rolled back against the pillow. Her eyes shut and an expression of pain caught her features. He looked down at her. His hands clenched around her. It was the first time he had ever caused her pain. He hated every single second of it. He pushed all the way in and she let out a strangled sob that broke his heart.

Nathalie’s body clenched tightly around his _impossible_ length that filled her all the way. She hadn’t realised she had a tear running down her cheek until he leaned in and kissed it away. He pressed tiny kisses around her lips and he let her adjust. She was so tight, and warm. Her walls clenched around him greedily, it almost drove him _insane_. The pain started to subside and he looked down at her waiting for permission to go on. He may have been on top and the one to do it, but it was all down to her in the end.

Nathalie nodded and he pulled out, thrusting slowly back in. They both sighed in relief. He did it again and the pain had almost started to disappear. All she could feel was his movements. His hard length as it massaged her insides giving her pleasure that she never thought possible. He pressed his forehead against her own. He wanted nothing but to look at her while he took her again, _and again,_ till his hips were almost crushing against her own. Her eyes shut, and her head rolled back. He buried his face back in her neck.

He bit hard on her flesh, marking her once more, and she gasped. It only urged him to thrust harder into her. His hand found a nipple, trapping it between his fingers and pinching hard enough to make her shiver. She was so tight. So beautiful. So kind, and smart, and unique. So _perfect._ She was all _his._ He could hardly believe that someone like _him_ _owned_ someone like _her_. He was going to put his marks on her, to let everybody know that.

Now he was pounding inside of her, hitting a spot that made her back arch and her fingers clench in his messy hair. A cry erupted from her throat. _Good._ He wanted her to cry out again. His hands found her own, he pinned them beside her head and he laced their fingers together, bracing himself to go faster. He hit mercilessly against that spot again and _again_ till she could no longer take it. Nathalie came with a shout. Her whole body clenched around him and her fingers tightened around his own. Her wetness pulled him deep and he growled in her neck when he came. His warmth coated her insides and he took a moment to let them both catch their breath.

He buried his face in her neck and breathed her in. She was going to _kill_ him tomorrow after a look in the mirror, and he was sure it was going to be _amusing_ just watching her get mad at him. Her fingers found his hair, caressing softly. He pulled away from her neck just to look down at her. She looked tired, but _happy._ Her lips had curled up into a smile and she cupped his face. His hair fell messily on his forehead and he leaned it just to catch her lips again.

No matter how many times he’d kiss her, it was just never _enough._ His tongue danced gently against her own and she sighed contently in the kiss. He never thought he was capable of making someone happy. Levi didn’t think someone was capable of making _him_ happy. _Oh,_ but _she could._ There was nothing that made him happier than the idea of holding her. And thus, he pulled out of her and lied down on his back. His hands reached around her and he settled her limp body on top of his own.

Nathalie pressed her cheek on his chest. Her nose nuzzled in his neck and she closed her eyes. He covered their bodies beneath the warm blankets and his arms slipped around her waist, keeping her close. And at this moment he realised _he never thought he’d have this._ Somebody to love? That was something that he always thought impossible in his life. He’d never _allow_ himself to fall so deep for anyone. But he had fallen for her. He had fallen, and he hated himself for that. It felt like both a curse and blessing, because he could lose her. He could lose her any moment, in every Expedition, in every mission. And if he did, it would break him and he didn’t know what kind of unspeakable things he’d do if it happened.

His hands slightly tightened around her protectively. He was never going to let this happen. They were living in a cruel world, but if anybody could protect her, it was him. So long as she was beside him, she was safe. He was never going to get his eyes off of her. _Never._

He pressed a kiss on her forehead and she pressed a kiss on his chest in return. He _smiled._ But thank goodness it was too dark for anybody to see. But he _smiled._ He was holding the woman that he loved. After the _shit_ that they had been through all these years, she was still there. She was still alive. She gave him reasons to hope. She gave him reasons to live. For once, he was _happy._ And he could tell she was happy too.

He pressed his cheek against her temple and he allowed himself to close his eyes and rest. She was safe. He could rest knowing that. “I love you, Nat,”

He could almost picture the smile on her perfect lips. “I love you too, Levi,” 


	36. Looking for Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is the next chapter!!! Just wanna thank you all for the awesome support!!! I love you, guysss!!! ❤🥰
> 
> And here's also me babbling biology stuff that I'm not even sure if they're correct and make sense. I'm not even sure whether I've used the right terms 😅😂 but my bio geek self is trying to figure out how the hell titan biology works 😂😂
> 
> Enjoy!! ❤

The morning light that entered through the windows, slowly started to penetrate her eyelids. Nathalie could once again focus on nothing but Levi’s rhythmic heartbeat beneath her ear. Her head rested on top of his chest. A hand was thrown around his belly. She felt his arm was around her waist, keeping her against him. The breeze brushed cold against her exposed shoulder, right before he drew the blanket further up to shield it.

Levi pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He had probably awakened before she did. Nathalie looked up at him with a smile. Their noses touched as he turned and looked at her. He could feel the weight of her chin on his shoulder as his eyes met her own, and he realised, he didn’t want to look anywhere else. She couldn’t believe it. He was smiling too. She had seen him smile before. It was a pretty rare thing for him to do. She always forgot how much it suited him. She couldn’t believe she was probably the reason he was smiling for.

She cupped his face, returning his smile with one of her own. “It suits you,”

He hadn’t realised he was _smiling_ until she told him that. He sighed. He couldn’t hide anything from her, _could he?_ “We slept in,” he chose to change the subject.

Nathalie buried her face in his neck. “No wonder why,” She chuckled. Although, it was no problem. They didn’t have anywhere to go and they had nothing to do until next week when Jean and Mikasa would have fully recovered, and they’d be moving to a new HQ for the new Special Operations Squad. Still, she wouldn’t believe what happened last night if she wasn’t naked now.

 _Wait. NAKED?!_ Nathalie panicked. She was _naked_ and pressed against his own _naked_ body. _OH, MY FUCKIN’ GOD!_ She couldn’t tell how red her face must’ve been when she pulled away from him with her hands grasping the bedsheets tightly around her body. Levi got in a sitting position just to turn and look at her with both a worried and a surprised look on his face. His eyes almost widened.

“Uh… I- I need t- to… get some clothes,” Nathalie stuttered as she looked at his now exposed chest. The perfectly built muscles and abs that spread beneath that were brought to light by her pushing all the bedsheets to herself. A few scars spread on his body. She had seen him shirtless before but that was _a whole different_ feeling.

“Oh,” Levi sighed in relief. His shoulders visibly relaxed. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked, _just to make sure_.

“No, not at all, you’d never-” Nathalie tried to say before her hand traced her neck absentmindedly. She lost her words and her eyes widened. She jumped off the bed and with a little effort, she stood in front of the nearby mirror. She gasped upon seeing the bitemarks and the swollen hickeys. She groaned. “Looks like I’ve been stepped on by a carriage,” she whined.

It was going to be a pain trying to cover these. Maybe she should _follow Mikasa’s lead_ and put on a scarf. She turned around to walk. She hadn’t realised how unstable and wobbly her legs were. She let out a yelp. She would have collapsed on the floor if Levi hadn’t caught her. An arm found its way around her waist, pressing her back against his bare chest, and keeping her up on her feet.

Her hands reached for his own that was tightly wrapped around her waist for support. “Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?!” Levi asked again. He had already put his pants on, so she didn’t panic as much as before.

“Not so sure anymore,” Nathalie teased as she turned and looked at him and he sighed before he picked her up. She let out another yelp. Her hands reached immediately around his neck and let go when he placed her back down on his bed.

“I’ll go grab you some clothes,” Levi exited the room and headed for her own, whilst Nathalie just lied down and she groaned when she remembered she _did_ have something to do for today.

_How am I supposed to go to Ragako and run tests if I can’t walk?!_

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“You okay?”

“I’m _great_. _Terrific._ Why you ask?”

“You’re _limping_ ,” Hange pointed out.

Nathalie’s eyes widened, her cheeks, once again engulfed in red and she turned her back at Hange trying to hide her face and think of something to say. Moblit spoke faster than her, though. He was a _life-saver_.

“Oh my God, Hange, you can’t just ask the poor woman why she’s _limping!”_

“What? Why?” Hange asked obliviously and Moblit groaned rubbing his forehead, trying to find a way to explain _it_. He didn’t have to.

Levi finally approached and unmounted his horse. “Is that the village?” he asked looking around only to notice Hange staring at both him and Nathalie who still had her back turned at her.

Hange burst out laughing when the idea struck her. “Fucking FINALLY!” A hand clutched on her stomach trying to ease the laughter. She pushed her goggles on her forehead and wiped the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

“Section Commander! What the hell!” Moblit cried out.

Hange pressed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t ruin it, Mobby. I’ve been rooting for those two four years now!”

Nathalie turned around to face her. Was it that obvious _all this time?!_ “Four years?!” she cried out and before Hange had the chance to explain, Levi cut her.

“Aren’t we here to see a titan, or what?!” He seemed as annoyed about this conversation as Nathalie was.

“Oh, right,” Hange pulled her glasses back on and she turned at Moblit. “Lead the way,” she said and he nodded.

When they reached the titan, Connie, Sasha, and Jean were already there with the rest of Hange’s Squad that kept watch. Connie’s hand pressed on the titan’s forehead and Nathalie could tell he was crying. Sasha’s hand was on his shoulder, and Jean was talking to him trying to make him feel better. Jean still had a tight bandage around his head, and Nathalie noted to herself that she should scold him for being here whilst he _should be in bed_. _Stubborn as ever._ The titan was lying face up in the sky. The rubble of Connie’s home was beneath it. It had the same golden eyes as Connie and it was staring at Connie. It was truly heartbreaking. 

Nathalie hurried over at Connie, Sasha, and Jean. “Captain!” Sasha cried out and Connie with Jean turned around.

“Hey, kids,” Nathalie pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Connie. “There,” She said and he took it before he pulled her into a tight hug.

“Glad to see you here, Nat,” Connie unleashed a sob and Nathalie patted his back as he buried his face in her shoulder.

“Hey, we’ll figure this out,” Nathalie said as she caressed Connie’s back and he finally pulled away, using her handkerchief to wipe his cheeks. She cupped the kid’s face and looked at him. “I will only take a sample. We’re in no way going to harm her, okay?” 

“Okay,” Connie nodded.

“Never seen you wear a scarf, Nat,” Jean said and Nathalie tensed up.

“Uh… it’s c- cold, today,” Nathalie said as she tried to ignore the kid and approach Connie’s mom.

“No, it’s not,” Jean raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

Nathalie gritted her teeth. “At least I take care of myself! You should be in bed!” She scolded him.

Jean groaned irritatingly. “Don’t go reminding me my mom,”

Before Nathalie had the chance to throw something back, Sasha spoke. “Seriously, it ain’t really cold. Actually, today’s a pretty good day for hunting,” She pointed out before she passed a hand around Connie’s shoulders.

“Not until we make sure Wall Rose is absolutely safe,” Levi said and they all tensed up when Levi showed up.

“Sir!”

“At ease,” Levi said before he approached the titan with Nathalie, ready to pull her out of harm’s way should anything happen. Nathalie and Hange were approaching that thing pretty close and he could tell Moblit was just as worried about protecting Hange as he was worried about protecting Nathalie.

“Section Commander! You’re too close!” Moblit cried out.

“Relax, Mobby, she can’t move with those limbs,” Hange said.

“She can still bite your head off,” Levi said as he and Moblit loaded their blades and got in their stances.

Nathalie turned at Hange and she nodded at her. “Hange, do what you do best,” she said and Hange’s smile grew, Nathalie could have sworn it had almost reached her ears.

Hange jumped on top of the titan’s belly, catching the titan’s attention, and Moblit tensed up right away. “Section Commander!” He cried out and joined her on the titan’s belly. Hange ignored him.

“Hello, Mrs. Springer. I’m here to tell you a story. It’s a very interesting one, really. It’s about a man called Timothy Bernstein. He was a trusted advisor of the king about hundreds of years ago. It’s thanks to this man we have now those effective _torturing_ techniques…” Hange started and Moblit cringed.

_Not again._

Whilst Hange continued talking about _torturing techniques_ and making everybody puke their guts out, Nathalie was approaching closer and closer to the back of the titan’s head. Levi’s eyes widened and he followed her cautiously. _So,_ Hange was going to be the distraction while Nathalie was going to take the _sample._ But what was that sample really?

Nathalie slipped slowly beneath the titan’s head whilst the titan was too occupied with whatever the hell Hange was saying. But Levi could not focus on anything but Nathalie. Those tendencies of getting herself in danger were - _frankly_ \- _exhausting._ Levi frowned deeply and braced himself to protect her should anything go wrong. He was glad he had offered to come. There was no way he would ever let her out of his sight again.

She was now beneath the nape. Nathalie took out a large, glass syringe with a sharp, fat, iron needle. Levi had never seen anything like it. _When did she get the time to order something like that?_ He had no idea. He just watched her as she gently stabbed it right into the titan’s nape, filling the syringe with a liquid that rested beneath the skin. The titan didn’t even budge like it wasn’t even feeling any pain at all.

Once the syringe was full of that liquid, Nathalie pulled out the needle, and the skin started regenerating and closing back again. She carefully slipped away, and once she was no longer beneath the titan’s head, she stood up, signalling at Hange.

“I got it!”

“You did?!” Hange jumped off the titan excitedly, and Moblit with Levi approached the other two. Levi let out a sigh of relief and he placed his blades back in their cases.

“So that’s the spinal fluid. I will get it for testing right away in the Survey Corps labs,” Nathalie said and Hange nodded.

“Let’s get going then!” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie spent the next _ten_ hours _sitting on her ass_. Her whole body _ached_. Her muscles were not used to sitting down all day, but she had a reason. She had been doing nothing but staring at the tiny drop of that liquid that she had trapped between two thin glass slides and she had placed them beneath the microscope. Their microscopes could not magnify too much, but she couldn’t help but _stare._ She recognised that it was some kind of protein.

It was only one, and that liquid was filled with it. She had sent Hange to go find a prisoner. To find a scum that nobody would cry about should anything happen to them and Nathalie was planning to inject them with that spinal fluid. She had filled an entire bottle of it, so there was enough for a normal-sized syringe.

Nathalie barely knew what she was doing. But she knew what that protein was going to do to this prisoner.

_Eldians have genetic material, double in amount of all other species. The second half of their genes is being activated by a certain protein composed in the spinal cord of titans. That protein works as a transcription factor. It attaches itself to the instigator which then activates those other genes and then turns a person into a titan._

Nathalie’s eyes widened. These were her thoughts, but _what are Eldians? What’s an instigator?! What’s a transcription factor?!_ Where these thoughts really _her own?_ She stopped staring behind the lenses of her primitive microscope, and she started scribbling that down in her notebook.

These were terms she’d never heard of before. These were terms she’d never seen in a book, she’d never read them somewhere, and in all those years she studied medicine in the hospital of Trost, she never encountered any of that. _Could there be alternate genes that can be activated?_

If that was true, then that protein in the spinal fluid could _activate_ them. If that was true, then those genes could be _deactivated_ as well _. It attaches itself on the instigator which then activates those other genes…_ so, if she could find another protein that would detach that protein from the _instigator_ then those genes would stop being transcribed, and the person would turn back into a normal human.

Nathalie was scribbling down on her notebook like a maniac. The lab was empty, and so was the building. Everybody had retired for the night, but she was still there, and she knew she would be there till sunset _at least._ No, _the entire night._ She couldn’t go to sleep without figuring this out.

“Nathalie…” it almost sounded like the sound of her name was coming from _far, far_ away. But then, it came again, harsher, and louder. “…Nathalie!”

She snapped out of it and she looked up only to see Levi with a concerned look on his face. He had been discussing plans and the location of their new HQ with Erwin all day. He had now returned to pick her up and take her back home with him, but she seemed distracted. He knew Nathalie was always distracted when it came to research.

Still, Nathalie turned at him and grasped him by the collar pulling him close with wide eyes filled with excitement. “I got it!” She cried out and before he even knew it, she was kissing him. She had never initiated a kiss before like this. He -more than- liked it. His hands slipped tightly around her and he kissed her back with a groan. He wanted to kiss her more, but she pulled back and escaped from the tight hold of his arms and she rushed towards the green board that hung on the opposite wall.

She grabbed a piece of chalk and started writing and drawing shapes. “Get Erwin and Hange, can you?”

Levi was still standing dumbfounded, with her taste still on his lips and he could do nothing but stare at her. He licked his lips and he turned around to exit the room.

“Uh… sure,” 


	37. Finding Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no idea where I'm actually going with this...
> 
> We'll figure it out together, y'all 😂😅 pls try to ignore me spouting bio bs 😂😂😂
> 
> Enjoy! ❤

“So, there’s this thing that’s called **d** eoxyribo **n** ucleic **a** cid -or else- DNA. We don’t know this yet, but I do, and don’t ask me how, I don’t know,”

Nathalie started and she realised she was _terrible_ at presenting and explaining stuff. But she had _lots_ of stuff to say. She drew two pairs of parallel lines on the board with the chalk and she connected them with vertical other lines, splitting the genes.

“And the DNA is our genetic material. It’s all of the genes we have inherited by our ancestors. Hair colour, eye colour, height,” She gave Levi a look and he shot her a glare. “Whatever,” Nathalie turned her attention back on the board. “But the thing is, the amount of DNA in our cells is double than the one of the other people out there. And _yes_ , there are other people out there, I don’t know how I know, but I do know,”

Nathalie was getting harder and harder to understand. Levi had absolutely lost what she was talking about and he could tell Erwin and Hange were keeping quiet trying their best to _understand._

“So, our second half is the one that can turn us into titans if we get the titan spinal fluid in our blood. The question is: how can spinal fluid activate those genes?” She drew a circle on a spot between the lines that she had drawn on the board. “The titan spinal fluid has a protein that we’re not familiar with in any way. This protein has the ability to attach itself to an instigator. Instigators are spots in our DNA. Every single gene in eukaryotic organisms has its own instigator, and the instigators choose whether they’ll let their gene be transcribed and therefore, expressed, but the thing here is-”

Levi cut her. He stood between her and the Commander and he offered her a glass of water. “Take a breath, Nat. Here,” Nathalie grasped the glass and chugged it down, emptying it right away, because she turned back at whatever she had drawn on the board.

“So, the second half of the genetic material that turns us into titans, has only one instigator. The protein from the titan spinal fluid, attaches itself to the second half’s instigator, and thus people turn into titans. But then it’s Eren,” Nathalie drew two figures of people on the board. One big, and one small. A titan, and a human. “Eren has the ability to turn into a titan, and then from a titan to turn back into a human,”

“But Eren’s body doesn’t change. His titan body just shows up out of nowhere,” Hange said.

“Exactly. Eren’s body doesn’t change. It’s not being harmed _at all._ I’m guessing, that Eren’s spinal cord produces another protein. One that keeps the second half _deactivated_. If I find what that protein is, I could produce it in a lab, and if I transmitted it into a titan, I’m one hundred percent positive that it will turn a titan back into a human,”

Levi raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t believe she had actually figured it out in such a little time. “Are you sure?” Levi asked.

“Yes!”

“So, there are people out there,” Erwin’s hand found his chin. His other hand, finally released from the bandages, fully recovered. “And they use titan spinal fluid to turn other people into titans, and they set them loose so that they can come here and terrorise us,”

“The world is full of enemies out there, Commander. It’s not just a gut feeling, _I know it._ They hate us out there, and I don’t know why, but I’m sure it has something to do with our genes and our ability to turn into titans,” Nathalie said. She was absolutely sure about all of this. None of the things going on in her mind was her own. All that information was someone else’s. She was sure of that.

“We need to think far ahead,” Hange said.

“Say we get to turn the remaining titans into humans, save them, and ride beyond our walls to find our enemies,” Levi turned at Erwin. “What then?”

Erwin took a moment to think and he realised they were right. They needed to think _far, far_ ahead. Nathalie knew too much, and she looked sure enough to trust her. He never questioned her loyalty.

**_“…never thought the Burgesses would survive…”_ **

Maybe those words meant more than they had realised. Nathalie’s origins were not from inside the walls, and maybe it was in her blood to know things that others didn’t. It was time he used that. Erwin looked back at the three who were waiting for orders.

“Hange,” Erwin turned at Hange. “Get Moblit, we’ll need all the brainpower we can get,” Hange nodded and she rushed out of the room. Erwin turned at Nathalie. She seemed so sure about all this. “Nathalie, you clearly speak of things we’re not supposed to have discovered _yet._ Tell us _everything_ ,”

Nathalie realised that she _indeed_ had _much more to say._ It was all coming to her now. _Why?_ She didn’t know. She didn’t have the time to figure it out either. She just had to do as her Commander had asked. “Yes, sir,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It took hours and hours of talking and planning. But after that, Nathalie did not miss the chance to check up on the kids that were still hosted in the hospital. Jean and Mikasa were brought in the same room and Connie, Sasha, Armin and Eren were beside them at all times. Nathalie had cooked them mashed potatoes with chicken this time for dinner. She knew how terrible hospital food could be, but she also knew she shouldn’t spoil them too much. Alas, she couldn’t stop herself.

She pushed the door open with her back and she walked in with the tray and food. Everybody cried out and approached her right away. “Captain!” Sasha cried out as she grabbed two bowls of food and started stuffing her face with both.

“Hey! Sasha got two! Not fair!” Jean cried out as he jumped off his bed and tried to grab the one from Sasha’s hands but Sasha resisted.

“IT’S MINE!” Sasha growled. Her mouth, full.

Nathalie laughed. “Calm down, Jean, there’s enough for all,”

She handed another bowl to Jean, then Connie, Armin, Mikasa and Eren. She was more than happy to see Historia there too. She seemed to be doing better than the last time she had seen her. But she was sitting alone at a corner and quiet. Nathalie’s hand reached for Mikasa’s forehead searching for temperature. It caught Mikasa by surprise. It almost reminded her of her mom. 

“Dr. Clifford told me on my way here, you were having a fever last night,” Nathalie said but she pulled her hand away and sat beside her on the bed “Now you seem to be at a normal temperature,”

Mikasa gave her a smile and tried to speak but Eren cut her. “What?! You were having a fever and you didn’t tell me?!” He cried out worriedly.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Mikasa admitted.

“You shouldn’t think twice about worrying me, this is about your health!” Eren cried out again and Nathalie placed a hand on his shoulder. He was reminding her of a certain _someone_ who would get worried sick every time Nathalie was having a cold.

“It’s alright, Eren. Mikasa’s in good hands, I promise you that,” Nathalie reassured him and Eren sighed. “Now eat your food,”

“CAPTAIN!!” Sasha cried out before she rushed towards her. Drool was running down her lips, eyes wide. She grabbed Nathalie’s sleeve. “CONNIE STOLE MY FOOD!”

Nathalie turned only to see Connie stuffing his face with the contents of the second bowl that Sasha had snatched off the tray. She chuckled. “It’s alright,” Nathalie handed Sasha her own bowl. She wasn’t hungry anyway. “Here,”

“B- But what about you, Captain?!”

“I’m not hungry,” Nathalie stood back up and stroked Sasha’s hair as she _attacked_ on the bowl that she handed her. It just made her so happy seeing how much they enjoyed her cooking. “I’m your Lieutenant from now on. Captain Levi and I will be taking you kids as our new Special Operations Squad,” she informed them and everybody stopped stuffing their faces turning to look at her in surprise.

“Really?!” Armin asked surprised.

“So, like, we move to a whole other HQ or something?” Eren asked and Nathalie nodded.

“Commander Erwin will let you know where that is. We leave in Monday,” Nathalie said. It was still Wednesday so the kids had enough time to rest and recover till then. “You kids focus on resting and recovering till then,” She stood up and gave them all a warm smile. They nodded.

“Alright,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Seeing Hange and Erwin in clothes other than the Survey Corps uniform was a very rare occasion. But since they had _figured it all out,_ it was time they wiped the headache off with some ale. There was a bar nearby the Survey Corps HQ. Still, it was too crowded in the bar, and having the Commander of the Survey Corps, the Section Commander, Captain Levi and Lieutenant Nathalie, it wasn’t going to give them a moment’s peace.

Hange and Moblit showed up with five bottles of beer. They climbed at the top of the Survey Corp HQ building. The rooftop was quiet and peaceful. Erwin found Levi’s idea an excellent one. He could use some peace and quiet, but after months, his head was finally at _peace_. They knew _exactly_ what they should do. _Every single step_ planned to the _very end_. Erwin knew they wouldn’t have planned it all if Nathalie didn’t know _all of this_. He knew their technology and their knowledge on sciences were more than just primitive, yet Nathalie had figured it all out. He watched her as she rested her head on Levi’s shoulder.

Erwin listened to her as she explained it all once more to Moblit. Both Hange and Moblit were sitting on the floor with their backs against the wall and their beers in their hands. Moblit and Hange seemed to finally get what Nathalie was talking about, but Erwin knew that it was him and Levi the only ones who hadn’t understood much. But Erwin trusted Nathalie.

He looked at her whilst she laughed and talked and had her drink. Her glasses were hanging from a rope around her neck. Her hair barely touched her shoulders. She was wearing a grey shirt and a black, long skirt that reached her ankles. Erwin took another sip of his beer. The bittersweet liquid ran down his tongue.

It all almost felt like back then. Erwin would spend hours trying to convince Nile to join them. Erwin, Mike, and Nile would gather at the rooftop of the training corps facilities, and they’d talk all about _fixing_ the world. Making it a better place, and in the end, finally gazing above that _better place_ and knowing that their children wouldn’t have to fight ever again.

That was the world Erwin, Mike, Hange, Levi, Moblit, Nathalie and so many others dreamed about. Erwin was _done_ stepping on a pyramid of corpses and listening to their relatives shouting and blaming him rightfully for their deaths. He was _tired_ of losing comrades. But after today, he wasn’t going to lose anybody _ever again_ , and it was all because of _her._

Nathalie was _fascinating._ Her smile, a sight that he always wanted to see on her face. But he could tell she and Levi were something more now. Her head was resting on top of Levi’s shoulder and her hand was tangled around his own. Even Levi seemed happier than ever. Moblit and Hange stood close too. They all looked happy. Erwin only wished he’d get to see them like this more often. After they’d carry out their plan, he knew he’d get to see them like this every day.

His friends.

His comrades.

“So, imagine, five years from now, when the full plan is carried out and we have peace, where do you all see yourselves?” Hange asked as she sipped her beer. She put everybody on thought.

No one out of the five had ever thought of living a life _just for themselves_. A life without the fear of dying, or losing someone, or failing someone. A life without _terror._ Levi had never thought that far ahead. It was always Erwin’s job to think far ahead for them, and he had always left it at that. Nathalie hadn’t thought of that either. What was she going to do after she was done fighting?

“Well, I know,” Hange started before she tangled her hand around Moblit’s and brought him closer. “I’m gonna get married to that wimp over here,”

Moblit’s eyes widened. His cheeks flushed a bright red, that thank goodness the darkness of the night covered, and his whole body stiffened. “W- What?! W- When did we-?! We’re not even-”

“Shut up, I just decided it,” Hange turned and gave him a frown before she turned at all the others. “What about you all? Let me guess. Levi and Nat are gonna get married as well if you haven’t broken up till then…”

Nathalie and Levi both tensed up.

“I- uh…”  
“W- We haven’t… uh…”

“…and Erwin will finally settle down. Find a good girl, huh?” Hange finished.

Erwin chuckled. “I’ll be too old for that,” He sipped on his beer. “But it’d be nice. It’d be nice to just watch the future generations grow, without any wars to fight. No dangers to be afraid of, and most of all, live _free_ and have things that we didn’t. Being able to go far, far away from the walls, and find and see things that we haven’t even imagined. That is the future that we have devoted our hearts to,”

Nathalie could tell they were all smiling. Even Levi was letting his lips curl up a bit even though there were still people around that could see it. Nathalie lifted her bottle up. Her eyes met Erwin’s.

“To freedom,”

“To freedom!” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie was on her way to the stable where she knew Levi would be waiting for her to ride back home. He never let her get back home on her own. He knew there were no dangers out there that Nathalie couldn’t fight off, but he still couldn’t let her ride back home _on her own_. But she stopped walking when she heard footsteps and no long after, came the voice of the man who was following her.

“Nathalie,”

She turned around only to see Erwin. It was still odd to see him without wearing the Survey Corps jacket on top, and it was still odd to see her in a skirt. He couldn’t deny it. It suited her. His hair were a small mess that was clumsily tucked to the side. His white shirt slightly unbuttoned. Light came from the lamps around the streets that surrounded the Survey Corps HQ. The entrance of the large building was no further away, but she could tell from the way he was panting that he had chased her all the way to the sidewalk.

He had a smile on his lips and he a took a step closer. Blue eyes met her own. “Thank you,” He said in absolute honestly. “Figuring all these out… nothing would have been possible without you,”

Nathalie returned the smile and she approached him. “Don’t thank me. You’re the mastermind behind all this,”

He shook his head. “No. It’s you,” he took both her hands in his own and it caught her by surprise. “You know what’s going to happen in a few days. If I don’t make it out-”

“You will,” Nathalie cut him. She knew what he was talking about. Erwin was plotting a coup to overthrow the government, but he could get _hung_ in the process and of course they had taken that into consideration, _but…_ “We have thought this through to the tiniest detail,” her hands let go of his own and grasped his shirt moving a little closer, making sure she had his full attention. It was then that she realised, he was _way_ taller than her. “You _will_ make it out, Erwin, we need you,”

Erwin gave her a smile, but he still shook his head. “You don’t. I’m easily replaceable-”

“You’re not,” Nathalie cut him again and finally that smile faded away from his lips and he only looked at her.

He knew whatever he’d say, he wouldn’t change her mind. Nathalie had always been _too_ stubborn. He could never tell whether he liked that about her or not. Maybe he liked it after all. The more he thought about it, the more things he found that he _liked_ about her.

Nathalie realised she was too close to him. Her fingers were tight around his shirt. His hands still tight around her forearms. He was staring down at her and she was staring up at him, and it was all so, _so, so_ wrong.

Nathalie pulled away immediately. _No! No, no, no, no, no…_ She spent years of avoiding to form relationships, afraid of getting _hurt._ She couldn’t be that someone who was going to hurt someone else. Especially if that _someone else_ was _Levi_. Her heart _belonged_ to him. It belonged to him for so long, there was no taking it back now. She didn’t _want_ to. _Gosh,_ she knew having so many bottles of beer would be a bad idea. Her body wasn’t used to alcohol since Levi would allow her to drink nothing _but tea._ She took a couple of steps back right away.

“I’m sorry for the intimacy, Lieutenant,” _Of course_ , Erwin caught up with whatever she had storming around her mind. He was too smart, and he never stopped reminding people of that. Nathalie trapped her hands behind her back and she gave him a kind smile.

“It’s alright, Commander,” She shook her head. “Just do me a favour and promise me one thing: you _will not_ die. We need you, Commander,”

She had no idea _why_ she needed him to promise her that. _Don’t be absurd!_ Of course, she knew why. The Scouts were nothing without Erwin. Only with Erwin on the lead they had managed to get so close to the truth. For all she knew, without Erwin, Eren would be dead now, and a traitor would still be in their ranks. _No._ More than _one_ traitors would be in their ranks. Erwin was an excellent Commander and strategist. Nobody ever doubted that.

“If it is a favour that you ask of me, Lieutenant, then I _will_ promise this to you. I will not die,” Erwin said. His lips slightly curled up into a sad smile, knowing that he couldn’t _really_ promise that.

But she still gave him _that_ smile and she nodded. “Thank you, Commander,” Nathalie said before she turned around and walked towards the stables.

Erwin knew Levi was waiting for her there. Everybody knew how close Levi and Nathalie were. They knew each other ever since they were little. Erwin knew it’d be totally foolish of him to hope to stand a chance. Still, her smile was a reason he didn’t want to join his fallen comrades.

 _Nathalie…_


	38. Unrestrained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT AHEAD you lucky gals and boiz
> 
> I tried to make it spicy, but I have a feeling the next smuts are gonna be even better eeheheheh  
> Lemme know what yall think! 
> 
> Enjoy!! ❤

The sky was clear. The stars were spread up above them as Levi and Nathalie rode their way back home. His hand was always tight around her, whilst the other guided the horse. He couldn’t tell why. Maybe he was afraid that she’d fall and get herself injured. She was still wounded and _fragile._ Even though, he knew that Nathalie _falling off_ was _impossible._ Nathalie wasn’t a novice at horse riding. She wasn’t a novice at fighting titans or people in hand-to-hand combat. She was so good at _everything._ So smart and _perfect_ in whatever she did, whether that was cooking or _torturing people._

He still wasn’t letting her ride on a horse on her own. He wanted her back pressed against his chest, and the weight of her head on his shoulder. He wanted to feel the tip of her nose as she’d nuzzle in his neck through the entirety of their short journey. He wanted _her._ And he wanted her _close._

And when they entered in their huge, lonely, cold _castle_ that was still their HQ, he picked her up. Nathalie let out a yelp of surprise and her hands reached for support around his neck right away. He carried her upstairs and she raised an eyebrow.

“You know I’m perfectly capable of walking on my own,” She protested.

Levi hummed as he pushed the door of his room open with his back. The place was dark. They were not going to light up any torches or candles, or lamps. He was taking her straight to bed. “I know,” he said, before he placed her gently down on the soft mattress of his bed. “Just making sure you’ll sleep beside me,” He leaned down to her. He took off her glasses, placing them on the nearby bedside table. Knees and hands sunk on the bed all around her. His body hovered above her own before he caught her lips in his own.

There they were, those _butterflies_ again. It was starting to get annoying, but she still couldn’t get enough of that feeling. She kissed him back and her hands reached for his face. He groaned when her fingers tangled into his hair. His tongue brushed a little bit harsher against hers making her moan. His hands found her waist, feeling her bandages beneath. She was still wounded. Still _fragile,_ and _precious._ He still had to go easy on her.

He broke the kiss and buried his face in her neck, planting soft kisses and tiny nips, but he realised, he just wanted to be close to her. He just wanted to kiss her soft skin and breathe her in and close his eyes. It had been a tiresome day, even though they had been through so much worse than that. 

Before he even knew it, she was pressing kisses on his own neck. Her warm lips traced the few scars from knife-cuts that he had there from back when they were encountering the _scums_ of the Underground. His hands slipped around her and he picked her up. He sat back on the edge of the bed, settling her body on his lap, facing his own. Her legs, parted. Knees, planted on each side of his waist as she straddled him, bringing their bodies close.

Her fingers blindly started untying his ascot releasing his shirt. She barely knew what she was doing. She just wanted to kiss every single part of him. She unbuttoned his shirt and moved over to his chest, pressing kisses on all parts of skin that she had unclothed. Levi could do nothing but stare at her. It wasn’t the first time somebody was doing that to him, but this time it was _her._ It was _Nathalie. His_ Nathalie.

Her kisses were sloppy, and messy. She was so _gorgeous_ there on his lap, with their bodies pressed and her legs parted around him. His hand reached back for her hair. He pulled her head back a little bit harsher than he intended to. There was no way he could hold back. Nathalie gasped at the sudden sting in her sculp, and then came another sting from her neck. He let down a bitemark on her soft skin, but he licked the sting away. He licked his way to her ear.

“Strip,”

She shivered. An order that she was more than willing to comply. She never thought such harshness in his voice would be something that she actually _liked._ Her hands reached for the buttons of her shirt. He pulled back to watch her. His tongue flashed across his lips. Grey eyes shined in anticipation. Before she had the chance to undo her shirt, he tore it off of her and tossed it on the floor. One hand reached back. Skilful fingers blindly unclipped her bra, and he wasted no second.

He pulled a breast into his mouth and she gasped. Her fingers clenched in his hair as his warm tongue slipped messily around her peaked nipple, and he set off to do the same to her other breast. _Damn him._ He really knew what he was doing. _Of course,_ he did. She couldn’t imagine how many women he’d been with before. She felt a slight feeling of jealousy pooling in her stomach. _No matter._ He was _hers. Hers alone._ She was going to keep it that way.

She could feel his bulge growing beneath her. Hands pressed down on his shoulders as she supported herself to rub her body against his. Levi groaned. His body tensed. His hands tightened around her. She did it again. A wave of pleasure coursed through her as her clit pressed down on his bulge just right. She let out a moan and his fingers clutched painfully around her thighs.

He pulled away from her breasts and looked up at her. “Keep this up and I might do something we’ll both regret,”

“Go ahead and do it,” She challenged. She had a playful look in her eyes and he let out a low and amused chuckle.

Was she really asking for this? Did she have any idea of _what_ she was getting herself into? “Are you sure?”

He knew she had had more beers than what she was supposed to. She cupped his face with both hands and she leaned closer. Her breath brushed across his lips and he leaned forward to kiss her, but she pulled back with a giggle. She was teasing him now? _Well then_ , she was asking for it.

His hand reached for her hair again, pulling her head back with force and she gasped. Her hands clenched around his shirt, afraid of falling off, even though he would never let her. His other hand was still tightly and protectively around her. Her back arched slightly and her sculp stung.

“Rub yourself till you come on my cock, Nat,” He growled in her neck.

 _Shit._ She was so wet, she didn’t remember herself being so wet in _her life,_ and all he had done to her was _talk._ His low voice veiled in a dead serious harshness that let her know he wasn’t taking a _no_ for an answer. She had to submit. She had to accept it: _he was the one to lead_. Whatever they’d do, it was his word that would either allow or keep something from happening. She was his to command and there was naught but to obey.

And she did. She braced herself on his shoulders and she started rubbing herself on his ever-growing bulge. _Fuck._ She was going to make a wet mess on his pants. Her skirt was trapped between their bodies and she cursed every piece of clothing that she was still wearing. Her clit pressed flat down against his clothed bulge and she gasped with every single stroke that she made against his body.

Levi wasn’t moving. Her breasts were only inches away from his face, but he could stare at nothing but the pleasure that twisted upon the muscles of her face. Her lips, parted, and bitten, and swollen by _him,_ and _him alone._ Her eyes, shut closed, and when open, too shy to look at his. His hands slipped beneath her skirt. Fingers clutched around her rear, sneaking beneath the soft fabric of her knickers. His hands supported her movements.

She pressed her forehead on his shoulder. Her soft pants brushed down his neck warmly. Her hands clutched around the black jacket that he was still wearing. “Let me touch myself, Captain,” She pleaded in his ear and his hand came down on her buttcheek with a sharp blow that made her whole body tense up and thrust forward. She gasped.

“Is my cock not enough for you, Lieutenant?” He growled in her shoulder before he bit down on her skin hard enough to make her squirm. His hand landed back down on her ass harshly and she groaned at the painful sting.

She couldn’t believe he had actually hit her. _She couldn’t believe that she had actually liked it._ It only took a few more thrusts. Her clit rubbed _and rubbed_ against his bulge and she came. She came with a silent cry and her face buried in his neck. Her body tensed against his own as a wave of ecstasy washed all over her. His hand reached for her chin, trapping it between two fingers and guided her face back up. Forehead pressed against his own. Eyes, met.

“Breathe, Nat,” He whispered softly against her lips and only then did she realise she had been holding her breath at least a minute now. She released that breath and she started panting. His hands reached for her skirt, pushing it up and off of her from her shoulders. She lifted her hands to help him discard of the useless piece of clothing, and then she set off to push his jacket down his shoulders. She caught his lips whilst her fingers worked blindly on the buttons of his shirt.

Before she even knew it, her back crushed back down on the mattress and knocked her breath out of her chest. She watched him as he stood up between her legs. He unbuttoned clumsily the few buttons left on his shirt and he dropped it on the floor. His hands worked on his belt. She was so beautiful. Naked and needy. There was no way he could go easy on her now. Not like the first time. He kicked his pants down his feet. He rubbed his erection, already coated in precum, before he grabbed her legs. Fingers clutched painfully in her thighs as he thrust in. Nathalie’s eyes shut. Her whole body arched as he filled her all the way in and she cried out.

She was so warm, and wet. Her walls clenched around him. He did not hold back a groan that reached his throat. Just looking at her let him know that he could be taking her all night and still he wouldn’t get enough of her. She still had her bandages around her waist, but he wasn’t intending of taking them off of her. They were tight enough to press down on his cock that would otherwise bulge in her lower belly.

He started thrusting into her. He wasn’t giving her any time to adjust. He needed that release more than he had realised. Nathalie cried out. Her body tensed. Hands reached for somewhere to grab on. Her fingers fisted around the bed sheets as he pounded inside of her. He settled her legs on his shoulders, giving himself more space to thrust further in. His impossible length stretched her tight walls wide open with every single thrust. The whole bed shook, reminding her just how much he overpowered her in strength.

And when his tip hit harshly against a sensitive spot, she just about screamed. Hands reached for his hips and she didn’t know whether she was trying to stop him or encourage him to keep taking her like that. He pushed her body further off the edge of the bed, till her ass was hanging and the only thing keeping her up were her legs on his broad shoulders. His thumb found her clit, and did nothing but overwhelm her.

Nathalie came with his name on her lips and a gush of liquids that pulled him deep enough to knock a growl out of him. Her walls clenched deliciously tight, and her body arched. Levi’s hands reached around her, gathering her trembling body back on top of the bed. Hands and knees sunk all around her on the mattress as he leaned close and caught her lips in his own.

He muffled her panting and he forced his tongue down her throat, revelling in her taste. Her fingers found his hair again. His hard cock still inside of her, begging for release. He pulled out and thrust all the way back in with force. Nathalie broke the kiss and she cried out.

He wasn’t done with her, was he? How many times did he hope he could make her come? Her body was already too exhausted. “L- Levi-” she gasped when he bit harshly down on her lower lip, pulling on it till it was rosy and swollen.

“Mine,” He growled as he finally released her lip and his hand reached between their bodies. He gave her clit a harsh slap that made her body tremble beneath his own. “Who do you belong to, Nat?”

Short nails dug on his shoulders and she found she couldn’t look anywhere but him. “You,”

And it was true. She wasn’t just saying it to satisfy his expectation of what he wanted to hear from her. She had always been _his._ She had always followed his orders. She had always followed his lead. She had always stood by him and she had never left. She didn’t have to kiss him back that day to say now that she was _his._ She had always been, and now they had just sealed that bond and there was no breaking it in any possible way.

He cupped her cheek. His forehead pressed against her own. Their bodies were still joined, and it felt so right for them to be. “Say it,” he _ordered_ even though, it did not sound like a command. It sounded like a _plea_.

He never thought he longed for that belonging _so much._ He never thought he’d _need_ somebody so much. Alas, he _needed_ her. He needed her to _say_ and _admit_ and _promise_ that she was his and _his alone_. He did not deserve her. That much he knew. But there was no one out there who deserved to have this woman in their arms.

She cupped his face with both arms and he found himself sighing at the tenderness of her soft fingers on his skin, as she stared up at him lovingly. Her nose met his own and their eyes, locked. “I’m yours, Levi,”

And before she had the chance to repeat it, he caught her lips, and his tongue breached in and met her own. His hair messily touched her own forehead and his hands found their way around her once again. His body started moving again. He pulled out and gently back in. She moaned against his lips, and he did it again. He let go of her lips and slipped down her neck. He pulled out and snapped back in knocking a cry out of her. _Good._ He wanted to hear her _scream._

He did it again, and again till his pace quickened, and quickened. He was once again hitting hard inside of her and she couldn’t believe she was ready for another release. He caught her hands. Fingers laced tightly as he pinned them above her head. There was nothing but the wet sound of his cock burying deep inside of her and his hips slapping against her own. Teeth sunk in her neck, giving her another mark, and she came. She came with a cry around his pumping length, but he kept taking her through her orgasm till she forgot how to breathe. Levi growled in her neck when he reached his own edge and spilled deep inside of her.

His warmth filled her and he buried his face in her neck, catching his breath. Her hands found his hair, caressing softly, and pressing kisses on his temple. Levi only lifted his face up to kiss her again. Tongues gently danced sloppily, before he pulled from the kiss and pulled out of her.

By the time he reached his side of the bed, Nathalie had already passed out from the exhaustion. He settled her body properly on the bed with her head on a pillow and he lied beside her pulling the blankets above both their bodies. Nathalie turned and buried her face in his neck. Her hands found his chest, and both his hands slipped around her, settling her body close.

He pushed a strand of hair away from her face. She looked so peaceful when asleep. Soft breaths escaped her nose. Eyes, closed, lips, slightly, parted. Her hair, a wonderful mess in his fingers. She buried her face in his neck unconsciously. Her nose nuzzled warmly against his skin. _So beautiful. So precious._ He pressed a soft kiss on her forehead before he nuzzled his nose in her hair and he closed his eyes.

His hands slightly tightened around her. _Mine._


	39. The New Special Ops HQ

Hunting required silence and discretion. There were a number of twigs and withered leaves that had abandoned their branches, that could blow their cover. But if Nathalie had gotten good at something during her time in the Underground, it was being _quiet._ Although, there were no trees and no twigs and no withered leaves in the Underground. She hadn’t gone hunting before, but she trusted Sasha. Sasha was really a _mastermind_ at spotting a creature either following its footsteps or clumsily eaten bushes, or scathed soil where usually the boars dug and dug deep trying to find roots of plants to feed on.

Nathalie had no idea how to spot a boar until _today_ when Sasha actually showed her how to. There was always no need to go for hunting, since during the Expeditions, it was too dangerous to stray far from the squads, not to mention the titans that could sneak up on anyone who would _try_ to catch an edible animal. The Scouts relied almost entirely on their rations during Expeditions. There was no point in hunting.

But still, Nathalie found that she actually enjoyed it. She had given Sasha a rifle, although Sasha had complained that she could hunt just as good with just a bow and arrows. Still, _boars have a thick skin_. An arrow wouldn’t be able to breach it as good as a bullet. But in the end, Nathalie found out that she was just worried about having Sasha get hurt. Even though, Sasha knew much more on the matter than Nathalie herself. 

Now they had it cornered. The bush that they had been hiding behind was thick enough to cover them from the boar’s sight. It had been munching on the thick leaves of a plant, that Nathalie was sure Sasha had recognised. She and Sasha pointed their rifles at the creature. Nathalie couldn’t really tell what Sasha was waiting for. She looked over at the girl who was staring through the targeting lenses of her rifle. Fingers found the trigger slowly. It almost looked like she was taking her time with this.

“I shoot, you shoot?” Nathalie whispered, raising an eyebrow, but Sasha lifted her hand up urging her to keep quiet.

Nathalie did as she was asked and she waited until Sasha finally pulled the trigger. The bullet pierced straight through the boar’s eye, and eventually, its brain. The creature fell down, instantly dead. Nathalie was impressed by the precision of Sasha’s target. Her eyes widened.

“Yes!” Sasha threw a triumphant punch in the air as she jumped on her feet and approached the boar. 

“Well done, Sasha!” Nathalie followed her and helped her wrap their ropes around the boar and start dragging.

It took a couple of minutes of dragging the heavy boar through the dense forest. The sounds of insects and the shrieks of wild animals. The small, satisfying sound of withering leaves, crushed beneath their feet. These were the sounds that they had focused on entirely. But Sasha finally spoke, breaking the silence.

“So… Captain-”

“What have I told you about this?”

“L- Lieutenant?”

“Aw, Sasha, no need for that,” Nathalie’s hand found Sasha’s hair, caressing slightly trying to ease the tension in the girl’s face. “ _‘Nathalie’_ or _‘Nat’_ , whichever you like,” Nathalie said with a smile and Sasha returned the smile hesitantly.

“Alright, Lieut- er- I mean, Nathalie, you said you and the Captain grew up in the Underground. How was it like down there?” Sasha asked curiously.

Nathalie sighed. “Horrible. It’s not healthy staying away from sunlight for too long, you know. Sunlight provides us with a vital vitamin for our limbs that helps us walk and move,” Nathalie looked around her at the wonderful greenery. “And we didn’t have this. Trees, birds, the wind,”

Sasha sighed heavily. “I can’t imagine how that’s like. I grew up in the forests surrounding Ragako. Dad taught me all I know on hunting,”

Nathalie smiled. “Then your dad must be a great teacher. He must be proud of you,” Nathalie said and Sasha smiled.

“He is!” Sasha sighed. “Everything was great, until the fall of Wall Maria. People came storming in our forest seeking refuge. Suddenly the forest that we’d spend generations living in, it just wasn’t ours anymore,” Sasha finally seemed comfortable enough to open up.

Nathalie gave her a sad smile. “I don’t know how it must feel like. Being pulled out of your roots. But things change, and they change constantly. Believe me, I’m not fond of that change either,” she said.

Sasha sighed. “Yeah,”

“Hey,” Nathalie drew her attention. “We’re going to plug that hole in Wall Maria and people are going to return to their homes,” Sasha’s face brightened. “Everything’s going to work out. You’ll see,” Nathalie gave her a reassuring smile.

Sasha nodded. “Yeah… thank you, Lieut- er- I MEAN- _Nathalie_ ,” Sasha let out a nervous chuckle and Nathalie laughed, until she realised, they had finally reached their new HQ.

“We’re here,”

The new HQ was a small cabin further away from the eyes of people in Wall Rose. It was surrounded by valleys and greenery, giving enough space for Nathalie and Hange to work on Eren’s ability to harden his skin. It was the Commander’s initial plan, to utilise that ability and plug the hole in Wall Maria.

Jean and Connie were already outside, carrying bags of flour from a cart, and back into the building. When they spotted Sasha and Nathalie approaching with the boar being dragged from behind, they hastily ran towards them.

“Nat!”

“Sasha!”

When the two boys reached them, they grabbed the ropes from Nathalie’s and Sasha’s hands and started dragging the boar on their own. “It’s alright, girls,” Connie said.

“Let the men handle this,” Jean said with a smirk and Nathalie raised an eyebrow.

“ _Sure_ ,” Nathalie said sarcastically, messing his hair badly enough to make him groan in irritation.

“Hey!” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Did you guys wipe the mud off your shoes before you came in?!”

“Huh? Are you kidding me?! Do you not see all this stuff that we’re carrying?”

Eren’s voice was the first thing they heard when the four of them walked in. Eren had a cloth wrapped around his hair. His hands were tight around a broom that Nathalie assumed he used to scrub the wooden floor. Nathalie could have sworn, he reminded her of a younger version of Levi. Dark hair covered beneath a cloth. A white apron covering his clothes. The only difference, the green, blueish eyes. Eren and everyone else panicked when Connie and Jean placed the dead boar on top of the table.

Eren’s eyes widened in alarm as he stared at the dead animal that now stood on the top of the table that he had tried so hard to clean. “WHAT THE HELL-”

“Relax,” Nathalie cut him. “We’ll skin this first, and then we’ll think about the floor,” She could have sworn. Eren was about to explode.

“But, Nat! Do you- Do you guys have any idea what’s going to happen if Captain Levi shows up and sees this mess?!” Eren turned at Jean. “Wasn’t it enough that I had to make your bed this morning and now this!?”

“Oh, shut it! What are you, my mom now? I thought Nat pretty much fills that role in here!” Jean cried out.

“We’re back,” Mikasa and Historia walked it with an axe in one hand and wood in the other.

“Wait! You were chopping firewood?!” Armin cried out.

“Gotta stay in shape somehow,” Mikasa shrugged.

“Mikasa, you got grabbed by a titan, you should be in bed recovering!” Nathalie cried out.

“I think you’re wasting your breath. I caught her doing sit-ups earlier too,” Eren said with a heavy sigh.

Nathalie’s eyes widened and she turned at Mikasa. “You were doing what?!”

“Oh! So, you’re an idiot AND a spy!” Jean continued and Eren threw something back. Nathalie rolled her eyes. _Oh my God, those two._

“Mikasa, you know you’re only human, don’t you?” Armin asked turning at Mikasa worriedly, but she ignored him as she and Historia settled the firewood beside the fireplace.

“Funny, it almost feels like we’re back in the cadet corps, doesn’t it?” Sasha said nostalgically.

Armin nodded. “Chaos. Makes you wonder why they chose us as the new Levi Squad,”

Sasha and Connie were working on the boar. Nathalie grabbed a large dagger and helped them out. She shrugged. “Well, you kids got more experience than any other member available in the Scouts right now,”

“Really?!” Armin asked surprised.

“Whoah, you can’t be serious!” Connie said.

“It’s true,” Nathalie said. “Half of our veteran squads have been wiped out. And besides, we make a good team,” She gave them a smile, even though, Jean and Eren were still shouting at each other.

“Hell, yeah we do,” Connie smirked before the three of them got their attention back at cutting and skinning the boar.

But Sasha did not miss the chance to grab a potato from a nearby box and stuffing it in her bag that was hanging from her shoulder. Nathalie just shook her head and chose not to say anything about it. She just chuckled.

“Sasha, what did you just shove into your bag,” Armin noticed her, of course.

“Something that’s definitely not bread,” Sasha said right away.

“Really, Sasha?!” Jean cried out.

“C’mon, put it back,” Connie said.

“Can we focus here?! We have to finish cleaning before the Captain gets back!” Eren cried out.

“What’s all this commotion?” Levi’s voice finally came as he walked in and everybody got quiet right away. Everybody tensed, and stared worriedly and frightened at the Captain’s face. Levi turned at Nathalie and he raised an eyebrow. “Nat, why’s there a dead animal on my kitchen table?”

The only one that didn’t seem scared of Levi was Nathalie. She rested a hand on her waist and she turned at her Captain. “That dead animal is gonna keep our bellies full for at least two weeks,”

Levi sighed heavily. His hand reached for beneath the table, making sure if the brats had at least cleaned it up thoroughly. The dust beneath the table was _immense._ He held back a groan of irritation and he turned at the kids who were all so scared of him at that moment.

“I’m quite certain I gave you enough time,” Levi said.

“Oh c’mon,” Nathalie said as she wiped the boar’s blood off her hands on her apron and she approached Levi. “I’ll take care of this afterwards,”

Levi sighed once more before he pulled out his handkerchief and started wiping the dust off his hand. Nathalie was _really_ spoiling those kids. “Never mind, we’ll discuss your utter failure at a later date,”

“E- Excuse me, sir, I believe the rooms aren’t enough,” Eren said taking a step forward hesitantly. “We’re nine, sir. The rooms are eight,”

Eren had a point. Nathalie had cleaned the Captain’s room first thing in the morning when they got there, only to realise that the bed was double. _Of course,_ that was Levi’s doing. He was the one to request how their proper HQ should be like and, _of course,_ he had added that on the list.

“Nathalie will be staying with me,” Levi said with that same aloof look on his face. Nathalie’s cheeks, engulfed in deep red as the kids gave them both confused and suspicious looks.

“Right!” Nathalie changed the subject as she turned at Levi. “Has Hange arrived?”

Levi sighed. “Unfortunately,” He turned around to leave the kitchen. He gave Eren a look. “Eren, Hange, and Nat anxious to get started with the experiments,”

“R- Right, yes, sir,” 

Nathalie approached the boy and passed a hand around his shoulders. “No need to worry. We just need you to transform and try to harden your skin,”

Eren nodded, slightly relieved now that he knew what they had in mind for him today. “I’ll try my best, Nathalie,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

By the time dusk arrived, Eren had already transformed three times, but he had failed all those three times to get his skin to harden. Nathalie couldn’t understand what went wrong. He was supposed to be able to do this at will. _Right? Right???_ A hand found her chin as she thought, and _thought, and thought_ till her forehead ached. Still, there was _one good_ thing they had gotten out of this. She had filled _bottles_ of Eren’s titan spinal fluid, which surprisingly was vaporising.

Nathalie couldn’t hope to extract spinal fluid from Eren’s _spine._ The cerebrospinal fluid was surrounded by bones and tissue that she could not breach with _any needle._ She’d have to _snap his neck_ which wasn’t an option.

She had been standing on the top of a hill with Hange, Levi and Moblit staring down at Eren’s titan as it collapsed back down unconscious. There was no way it would move right now. Eren must have been exhausted, and Nathalie wouldn’t blame him. They had overworked him for the past couple of hours with no outcome whatsoever.

“Eren! What’s wrong, Eren?! GET UP!” Hange screamed whilst Moblit scribbled down the results of the experiments on his notebook. “The future of humanity depends on you, dammit! GET UPPPP!”

“Third time. And his form changed again,” Levi frowned. “He’s not even ten metres tall, and some of his body lacks muscle. Not mention Eren’s scrawny ass is hanging out,”

“I can see that!” Hange cried out. “Eren! Think you can still move?! Give us a signal or something, will you?!”

“Eren!” Mikasa cried out as she jumped off her horse and climbed on top of the unconscious titan. Nathalie cringed.

“Mikasa! Wait up!” Jean cried out.

Levi sighed. “Great. The brat’s at it again. Off to the rescue. She never learns, does she?”

“Oh jeez, if I was in Eren’s position you’d be acting the same -if not worse,” Nathalie said only for him to shoot her a glare. Still, Eren wasn’t moving. There was no point. Not to mention that Nathalie was too anxious to get Eren’s titan spinal fluid samples examined in the Survey Corps labs in Trost. “We’re done here. He’s too exhausted to move,” Nathalie said as she drew the handles of her ODM ready to jump down.

Hange groaned, kicking the floor. “We need to get this to work, dammit!”

“Calm down, Section Commander. We will find a way,” Moblit’s hand found Hange’s shoulder but he didn’t seem to be succeeding in calming her down.

Hange sighed heavily and she turned at Nathalie. “Ready the bottles,” Nathalie nodded before she, Hange, and Moblit jumped off the hill on their ODM and landed on the titan’s back.

Before Nathalie had the chance to grab Eren, Hange was already there trying to pull him out of the nape. “HOT!” She cried out. “Do you think you can ease up on the steam a little?!” She cried out at Eren but he did not respond.

“Hey! Be careful with him! Can’t you see he’s bleeding?!” Mikasa cried out worriedly.

Nathalie and Moblit leaned down to look at Eren’s face only to see the skin missing. The eyes, _missing_. The tongue, hanging out in the open. Hange let out a scream of panic and Nathalie’s eyes widened.

“AAAH MOBLIT, NAT, YOU SEE HIS FACE?!” Hange cried out in terror.

“HANGE-” Nathalie growled. Eren must’ve been in _immense_ pain.

“Section Commander! Have you no compassion at all?!” Moblit cried out scolding her.

“Oh- for crying out loud!” Nathalie loaded a blade and she cut off the titan skin that was connected to his face, finally disconnecting the kid from the titan body. She looked at the face of the kid. It was nothing but the bones and tongue hanging out. “Oh my God,”

“Uh… Eren… sorry about that,” Hange said still holding the kid against her.

“Stop tearing his face apart, and help me gather more samples,” Nathalie growled and Hange gulped.

“R- Right,” She turned at her soldiers that had gathered all around and Hange gave the order. “Experiment’s over! All troops, withdraw at once! Make sure we weren’t seen!”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

**Same night, in Trost.**

“I see. Another failure then,” came Erwin’s voice.

He’d been staring out of his window. Levi had visited to report today’s experiments, whilst letting Nathalie run her tests on the samples in the labs of the Survey Corps HQ. She was in the same building, only a couple of floors below. He’d pick her up afterwards and return back to HQ.

“Imagine if it had worked. We could have plugged the hole in Shiganshina in less than a day,” Erwin said.

“What we need is information. It’s not like there are books in the subject,” Levi frowned. “We do have Krista- no, Historia Reiss. Maybe she can give us some insight into the nature of the walls,”

“I did some digging and found a report about her life before the cadets,” Erwin said. “The illegitimate daughter of Lord Reiss. This was not a happy childhood. Rod Reiss is the secret to all this somehow. Why would a mere regional lord know the secrets to the nature of the walls?”

Levi sighed. “Nat will figure something out,”

He hated saying that. He didn’t hate anything as much as he hated placing burdens on Nathalie’s shoulders. But she was the only one who _could figure something out._ A few nights ago, when they came up with _the_ plan, Nathalie had told them things about titans that they hadn’t even imagined to exist. It was because of her that they knew now _exactly_ what to do and how to _act._

“I’m sure she will,” Erwin said and the corners of his lips curled up for just a little. Levi frowned even more. “The people who know are in danger,” Erwin turned and looked at him deep in the eye. “Keep her safe, Levi,”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Where is she now?”

Levi’s eyes widened. She was in the City, and if anything, she _wasn’t safe in the City_. She was in the very same building. _Isn’t she?!_ Sure, these were the Survey Corps Headquarters, but that didn’t mean that somebody couldn’t sneak in either as a soldier or even as an MP officer. Erwin’s eyes widened as well. He bit his tongue slightly.

“She’s not in this very building, is she?!” Erwin cried out.

 _No._ They couldn’t let anybody take her. She was just as important as Eren and Historia for carrying out the plan. If Nathalie wasn’t there to figure out the true nature of the walls and the titans. If she wasn’t there to figure out how to turn titans back into humans, then there was no way his plan would work. But Erwin realised, it wasn’t just that. Just the thought of something happening to her…

Before Erwin had the chance to start running out of his room and back downstairs where he knew the labs were, his back crushed against his wooden bookcase behind him. Levi’s hands fisted around Erwin’s shirt. His eyes burned in anger and _terror._

“ _You’re_ the one planning to overthrow the government. She’s not a goddamn pawn in your fucking _masterplans_. Leave Nathalie out of this!” Levi growled behind his gritted teeth.

He didn’t give a _fuck_ whether the man that he had cornered and threatened was his Commander or not. Erwin _used_ _everyone_ to fulfil his plans and achieve the things that he wanted. Levi was in no way going to let Erwin _use_ Nathalie just like he used everyone else. But he had no time. He had to find her.

He let go of Erwin and he rushed out of the room and downstairs. He ran as fast as he could. His heart hammered loudly against his chest. They could have hit her, and abducted her, or even killed her, and he’d be too late, and it was all going to be his fault. _No, no, no, no, no…_ The building was empty. It was night and it made sense to be empty, but it also made sense it’d be easier for someone to sneak in. It was his fault. He should have never left her out of his sight. He should have never brought her in Trost with him.

_So naïve._

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie wouldn’t have been able to snap out of this if she hadn’t heard footsteps. It was dark in the lab, but she had a couple of oil lamps and candles that helped her see and scribble down notes on her notebook. Her glasses rested neatly on top of her nose. Her eyes stung from the overuse, and her limbs ached from sitting _on her ass_ for the last few hours.

She had only added a drop of Eren’s titan spinal fluid to the spinal fluid that she had retrieved from Connie’s mother. It didn’t just decompose the protein. It destroyed completely the genes that turn people into titans as if they were never there. Her theories were proven correct. If she injected Connie’s mom with Eren’s titan spinal fluid, then she wasn’t only going to turn back into a human, but she wouldn’t be able to turn back into a titan _ever again_.

She had used a drop of blood of her own. She needed to see how Eren’s spinal fluid was going to react with human blood. But she never got to do it when she realised the door of the lab creaked open but no one walked in. _That is strange._

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “Levi?”


	40. Runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chap is like... so damn soft, like, I was writing it and it almost felt like I was lying on a fluffy cloud and I suddenly wanted to sleep and I almost passed out on my desk LMAO 
> 
> Wanna thank y'all for the awesome comments and the awesome support!!! You guys really, really help me out to continue this story, thank you so muchhhhhhh and feel free to suggest songs and OSTs that you might find relatable to the story!! 
> 
> Fun Fact: the story till now might be 106k words, but my word document is at 132k words ahahaaha _I'm writing this so fast_
> 
> Thanks for reading!! Enjoy!!! ❤

She knew it wasn’t Levi when a bullet came flying her way. Nathalie’s reflexes kicked in. She jumped out of the way. She looked at the table where she had all her samples. Her eyes widened. _No!_ There was no way she was going to let it all go to waste. She had to protect those samples. She had to protect her notebook. It had all the answers. It had everything they needed.

Nathalie saw two soldiers from the Military Police barging in with their rifles in their hands. She kicked her chair to their way. They moved out of the way and pointed their rifles at her. She heard footsteps from behind her and before she even knew it, a hand was around her neck from behind, choking her. Nathalie gritted her teeth. _Bastards._

She stepped on the man’s leg powerfully with her own. He winced. She elbowed him on the jaw and the other two started firing. She grabbed the man that she had elbowed and she used him to shield her body from the bullets. The man’s blood spilled on her clothes. _Dammit._ Her skirt was ruined.

“Just take her out already!” One of them shouted to the other, but before they had the chance to place down their guns and attack on hand-to-hand combat someone else attacked them from behind.

Levi’s punches and kicks were sharp, fast, and precise. It only took a few of them for the MPs to fall down unconscious. Nathalie let down the man that had been shot at many times only for Levi’s hand to find its way around her waist and pull her protectively against him. His eyes, wide in alarm, met her own.

“Those bastards didn’t hurt you, did they?!” Levi asked worriedly. His thumb found her cheek making sure he had her attention. He was breathless. He must have been running.

Nathalie shook her head. She escaped from his arms and she started stuffing her samples back in her bag as hastily as she could, and most important of all, her _notebook._

“We need to get you out of here,” Levi grabbed her hand and started dragging her away with him.

“Why would the MPs attack me?!” Nathalie asked as they ran downstairs. His fingers were almost painfully tight around her own.

“Because you know things you’re not supposed to,” Levi answered but he heard footsteps.

He urged her to get into one of the many offices around the hall that they were now in. The offices were empty and dark, but the halls had torches all around that were bringing enough light in the Survey Corps HQ. That office was empty and dark as well. They should be able to hide.

There were more MPs. _Of course,_ they’d send a battalion for Nathalie. Word had gone out that she had fought titans with mere _daggers._ There’s no way three MPs would be able to take her out. And Levi’s assumptions were correct. A hand was thrown around her protectively as he leaned and peeked through the keyhole.

“Do you think they got her?”

“I did hear a couple of shots, sir, but I’m not so sure,”

Levi was right. They were many. He could take them out on his own empty-handed and he wouldn’t break a sweat, but he had to take her out of there as fast as possible. He turned at Nathalie. Her back pressed against the door. She tried to whisper something, but his fingers found her lips, sealing them back closed. They had reached the ground floor. They would be able to escape through the windows.

He nodded his head at the direction of the windows in the office and she nodded. If she didn’t know him as well as she did, he wouldn’t be able to _tell_ her an entire plan through just a look. His fingers were still tight around her own and they approached the windows. Much to their luck, the stables were right beside that part of the building. He pulled the window open and he jumped out. She jumped out as well, careful not to make a sound. It wasn’t too high, but high enough to make her doubt herself.

But he caught her. Levi’s hands were tight around her, and he cursed when he realised that footsteps were once again approaching. _Of course, they’d check the stables._ It was still dark. There were no lights at the back of the building and anybody could grab a horse and sneak away.

Levi turned only to see that they were actually very close. There was no way they had enough time to grab a horse and start riding away without having the _damn_ MPs chasing them. Maybe he’d have to fight after all. But Nathalie had a better idea in mind. Her hand found his shoulder, drawing his attention.

“Kiss me,”

Levi turned and looked at her confusedly. “Nat, this is no time for-”

But she grabbed his black jacket bringing him closer and before he had the chance to finish what he had to say, her lips crushed against his own and he instantly _forgot_ what he had to say. She had never kissed him so ferociously before. Her tongue met the back of his throat and he groaned. _Shit._ He was beginning to catch up on what she was trying to do. But still, this was _too risky_ and _too exciting,_ but _brilliant_ nonetheless.

His hand found her hip, settling a leg around his waist and he kissed her back just as ferociously as she did. He knocked her back against the brick wall. His fingers clutched in her thigh. Levi bit down on her lip and she let out the _filthiest_ moan he had ever heard. It made his blood go south. _Fuck._ If they kept this up, they’d be putting _more_ than a show outside the _freaking_ stables.

“Everything clear, officer?”

A superior’s voice came from behind and the officers found themselves unable to come up with a clear answer. All they had were two people making out at the back of the building and they doubted if the woman was _Nathalie Burgess_. Nathalie Burgess _should_ _be_ on the run by now. These two were probably drunkards from a nearby bar and they had just ended up out there.

“Everything clear, sir!”

“Get your asses back here!” 

“Yes, sir!”

The MPs left fast enough, but Levi wouldn’t stop kissing her until she actually pulled back. Her taste, still on his lips. His hands still too tight around her, but she still managed to get away. How could she always know how to do that? It frustrated him. She still caught his hand and guided him over to the stables to get a horse and ride away.

“Let’s go!” She whispered.

“R- Right,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It wasn’t news that she was going to like. Moblit didn’t like this. It was in the middle of the night and he barely had any idea how it had happened. He couldn’t think of any possible way of how the intruders got in and killed off Pastor Nick. The room was guarded at all times by soldiers.

Moblit was the only one with a key for Hange’s door. She would be sleeping, but she would skin him alive if he didn’t let her know right away. He unlocked the door of her apartment and he walked in. It was dark, but he had an oil lamp in his hand that was enough to light his way. They were staying in their apartments. A building beside the Survey Corps HQ that housed most superiors of the Scouts.

She was indeed sleeping. A rare occasion for her, since she never slept and she only spent nights after nights in the labs. But this time, she was actually sleeping. Her hair were a mess against her pillows and her goggles were resting beside her on the bedside table.

Moblit almost hated himself for waking her, but he had to. She’d never let him see the end of it if he didn’t. His hand found her cheek, cupping gently. His thumb brushed across her soft skin and she finally opened her eyes looked up at him with a sly smile.

“Aww, hey, Mobby,” She stretched out her arms as she lied down on her back. “Here to have some _fun?”_ She raised an eyebrow with a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

Moblit tensed up right away. He could not deny the heat on his cheeks, but he proceeded to do what he did best. _Scold_ her. “Oh my God, Hange, we’re not even together for crying out loud!”

“But you’d like for us to be, right?”

“I- I- t- that’s IRRELEVANT!” Moblit cried out. He was so thankful that it was dark enough for her not to be able and see the blush that had spread across his entire face.

Hange laughed amusingly before her hand reached for her goggles and she put them on. “So, if you’re not here to have fun, then what are you here for?”

Moblit sighed and braced himself for the reaction. “Pastor Nick… he’s been murdered,”

Her eyes widened. The smile disappeared right away. “WHAT?!” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

The kids were asleep by the time Levi and Nathalie reached the HQ. It was silent and dark, and they headed straight to bed. Some rooms were upstairs and some others were downstairs. The Captain’s room was upstairs. The two of them walked into Levi’s room. It was large enough for the two of them. The bed was a double, and there was a large desk to serve as an office. There was a fireplace as well and Levi got the fire going to bring some light in the room.

Nathalie sighed, pressing her back against the closed door of the room. _That was close._ She let her muscles finally relax and she sat by the edge of the bed to take off her boots. She stood back to place her bag on top of the desk and she started taking out the samples that she had saved at the last minute. It was nothing but bottles with liquids.

“Is it okay if I put these here?” Nathalie asked turning over at Levi as he fixed the fire with a twig. He had knelt down on one knee. The light that came from the flame graced his sharp features and Nathalie only found herself staring at him longer than she was supposed to.

“It’s _our_ desk. You do as you like,” Levi said as he stood back up. A finger reached for his ascot, loosening it from around his neck with a single move as he approached her. His raven hair fell messily on his forehead. Sharp eyes stared down at her softly. “You’re not hurt, are you?” Levi asked again when he noticed the blood stains on her shirt and her skirt. Nathalie just shook her head and gave him a reassuring smile. If it wasn’t for him, she had no idea where she would be right now. His hand reached down around her waist. He brought her body closer. He could feel the texture of her bandages beneath the fabric of her shirt. She was in a white buttoned shirt, and a grey long skirt. Her glasses were hanging from a rope around her neck. He took them off for her and placed them beside them on the desk. “How’s your wound?”

Nathalie’s hands reached for his ascot, untying it with delicate moves. “It’s almost gone,” She frowned. “It’s going to leave an ugly scar though,” She placed the ascot on the table beside her glasses and her palms rested flat on his chest, right on top of that white buttoned shirt that he was wearing beneath the black jacket.

She pushed off that black jacket down his shoulders, and she set off to place it in a nearby coat-stand. She turned around to approach him, only for both his hands to slip around her waist and bring her close once more. Nathalie smiled up at him, but he seemed deep in thought _as always._

He had almost thought he lost her, _today_. _Thank goodness,_ he was fast enough to get there on time. He did not doubt her skills though. She had already put up quite a fight against the MPs. Still, one wrong move could’ve ended her life, and if that had happened, she wouldn’t be there, staring with those bright blue eyes up at him. He wouldn’t have the chance to hold her like he was holding her now and he would be sinking in his misery, and the depression, deeper than ever. His hands tightened around her. _So, so precious._

“Stop thinking,” Nathalie said as if she had read his mind.

Both her hands found each side of his face and he sighed at the instant relief that she brought him. He closed his eyes and rested his face in her soft hands. He complied to her words and stopped thinking. He didn’t say anything. He just buried his face in her neck and he picked her up. He always picked her up _so easily_ , as if she weighed next to nothing. Her hands tightened around his shoulders. Gentle fingers found his hair. He sat down on his chair with Nathalie in his lap and his face still buried in her neck.

He didn’t know how long he held her there, or how long her fingers were gently caressing through his hair. Her skin was warm. He nuzzled his nose in her neck and breathed her in. Eyes closed. They just sat there in a large moment of comforting silence. There were no words to be exchanged. He just wanted to know that he was holding her and that she was safe because of that. It was only in such moments that he could close his eyes and his mind could know _peace._ Or at least, the closest thing to _peace_ that he’d ever known.

Nathalie pressed silent kisses in his hair, his temple, his forehead. He hummed and sighed in satisfaction. What was he going to do without her? Without these? Her gentle touch, her kisses, her warmth. He never thought he was so _touch-starved._ Yet again, it made sense that he’d be. The tender way his mother would hold him as she’d kiss his forehead. Memories that were so long-gone and forgotten were now brought back that Nathalie was kissing his forehead with that very same tenderness. She was so _precious_. _So damn precious_. And she was all _his_.

He couldn’t allow to lose her. _Never again_ was he going to let himself suffer through the same pain that he did as he watched the corpse of his mother rotting. Still, in the end, he realised he didn’t care about himself _suffering_. He had done horrible things. He’d deserve to suffer. But _not her._ She deserved to live and be happy and he would do anything to achieve that. 

Nathalie wasn’t going to let him fall asleep in the chair. She had let him multiple times before just because she knew he’d _shout_ at her for waking him. She would cover him in blankets even when he’d pass out in uncomfortable positions on his office. But she wasn’t going to let him torment his body like that.

“Levi…” Nathalie whispered softly in his ear and he finally lifted his head off her neck and looked down at her with tired eyes. “…we need to go to sleep,” 

Levi nodded in agreement. He was about to stand up and carry her to bed, but he just stopped to look down at her, and realise once more how _breathtaking_ she was. Soft, white, porcelain skin. Pale-brown hair that barely touched her shoulders. Bright blue eyes. Soft, pink lips. So simple, yet so _beautiful._

He kissed her. He had to. He wanted to meet her taste. He wanted to feel her fingers as they tightened around his shirt. His tongue met her own and she sighed in satisfaction. “I love you,” He moaned in her mouth before he let go of her lips and he trailed kisses down her chin, her cheekbone, her neck. His fingers clutched around her clothes as he pressed kisses and nips on her soft skin. Nathalie’s hands found his hair again. She stroked them tenderly and it made him sigh against her skin. “I love you so _damn_ much,”

Nathalie’s heart fluttered beneath her chest. A bright blush spread across her face. _I love you._ She couldn’t believe this was coming from him. He had told her lots of times since that day in the hospital but just listening to him saying it, made her heart burst and she knew that was it. He was the one. Him and no other. She wanted no other. Ever.

“I love you too, Levi,” She pressed kisses on his temple. “I really, really do,” 


	41. Hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EHEHEHEHEHEE 😈
> 
> *clears throat*
> 
> Don't mind me, enjoy!! 😘

**Same Night.**

Hange couldn’t believe it. Nails torn off. Body, knocked on the floor. Blood had already started drying off on the wooden floor. It looked like he had been beaten. _No-_ tortured. Somebody had tortured him. Still, the door was guarded, not by Survey Corps soldiers, but two of the Military Police. And not just any.

“Hey! Messing with our crime scene, Scout?! Don’t get any closer. This isn’t your jurisdiction. Assemble robbery-murder. There has been a string of them lately,”

Hange gritted her teeth. “I’m not buying it! His nails were drawn out!” She growled, taking a step forward only for the MP to grasp her by the shirt and threaten her.

“Which unit are you in?!” The soldier said leaning close.

Moblit’s hand caught the soldier’s wrist tight enough to make the man wince. No one was allowed to treat Hange like that. _He_ wouldn’t allow it. “This is Section Commander Hange, 4th Squad. And I’m Excel Moblit Berner,” just before the soldier let out a wince, Moblit released his wrist that he was sure he bruised well enough.

“Knowing your whole branch smells garbage, being high-ranked doesn’t make you smell any sweeter,” The soldier said. “Listen, that man wasn’t killed by a titan. One person killed another. This isn’t Scout business!”

“You’re with the first interior squad,” Hange said and by the way they both tensed up, she could tell she was right.

Moblit raised an eyebrow. “Funny. What are the Capital’s MPs doing down here in Trost?”

“What’s so strange about it?! Somebody has to get the real work done while you people run around playing soldier,”

“Yes… you’re completely right!” Hange started and Moblit raised an eyebrow. He could tell she was putting up an act. “I see now I’m worthless compared to you! Simply being in your presence is an honour. Allow me to shake your hand!” Hange grabbed the man’s hand and suddenly her assumptions were proven correct. The flesh of the knuckles was torn. These were the men who had beaten Pastor Nick to death. “Alright. You said it was a robbery? Poor Nick. I didn’t realise he even had anything that was worth stealing,”

“Of course, he did! Everyone knows the church makes out all its little trinkets out of iron,” 

“Huh?! Are you saying Nick was affiliated with the Order of the Walls?!” Hange cried out. Of course, she knew that already. She was only making sure.

“What are you playing at?!”

“He was a friend of mine, that’s why I rushed down here. Except, I thought he was a craftsman. Making chairs or something. I even put that to his application to board here…” she started rubbing on the torn flesh of his knuckles, hard enough to hurt.

“Let go!”

“…still,” She ignored him. _Bastard._ “I suppose this is a reminder that we don’t really know people as well as we think we do,”

“Enough! Let go!” The man pulled his hand away and Hange got back to pretending.

“Whoah! Of course! Sorry! Well then, I wish you luck with the investigation. When you catch the culprit, will you tell them something for me? You may feel that what you did to him was justified, perhaps even righteous. Well, I don’t give a single shit _what_ your motivation was. I promise you, I will personally see to it that you are tortured, and the horrors visited upon you will be greater than anything my friend suffered. Yes! _Far_ greater,”

Moblit was sure, she had scared _the shit out of_ them. He smirked.

“Pass that along. We’ll leave you to it,” Hange finished before she turned around and started walking away with Moblit following closely from behind. She was suspecting them, wasn’t she? Why else would the Interior Squad leave the Capital to come down here, if it wasn’t for _silencing_ the people who could compromise their secrets?

“The Pastor. You think they killed him?” Moblit asked once he made sure they were further away from the other two as they started walking down the hall.

“Yes,” Hange answered. “I do. That man’s name was Djel Sannes. The skin on his fist was split open. Nick was tortured by the Interior Military Police, and then murdered,” 

Hange’s fists were clenched. Her nerves almost _burned_ in anger. _Of course,_ this was the reason pastor Nick was trying his best to keep quiet. He knew they were coming to kill him. Hange had that look in her eyes that Moblit instantly recognised. It was the one of pure anger. She’d get that look before she’d do unspeakable things.

She groaned and she tried to turn around and get back to those men. Give them a piece of the pain that they had brought to Pastor Nick. The only man who had given them a clue and tried to help them. If there was something that she hated the most it was _injustice._ But Moblit grabbed her. His hands slipped around her tightly keeping her in place.

“Hange, you’re not thinking straight!” Moblit cried out, still, she didn’t calm. Her hands smacked across his chest.

“Let me go!” Hange growled.

“You can’t harm Interior Police Officers out here in the open. It will be considered an act of treason and you’ll be hanged. I can’t allow this, Hange!” Moblit cried out. His arms tightened around her. Just the thought of something happening to her set a shiver of terror down his spine. He _couldn’t_ allow this.

Hange had to restrain herself. Moblit was right. They _would_ get those two in their custody and _she would_ get to torture them as much as she would want. _Not here. Not now._ She sighed and she pressed her forehead against his chest, shutting her tired eyes.

“You’re right,” Hange admitted and she listened to him as he let out a sigh of relief. Moblit always kept her from doing impulsive, stupid things like that. What was she going to do without him? She pulled her head to look up at him. “We need to inform Nat and Levi,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

The next morning, Levi had everybody gathered in the dining table and he asked for Historia to tell them her story. Erwin was right -as always- it was not a happy childhood. Still, Nathalie was there, seated beside her, to hold her hand and pull her into a comforting hug when Historia was done telling them her story. Historia was stiff at first, she did not hug her back, but she eventually gave in, burying her face in Nathalie’s shoulder and allowing herself to accept the warmth and comfort of Nathalie’s hand as it brushed gently on her back and in her golden hair.

Historia never had that before. She never had somebody to _pull her into a hug_ and _caress her back_ and make her feel _comfort._ Her mother had pushed her away and it had made her happy because it was the first time she had acknowledged her. _If only you had never been born._ Her mother’s last, _poisonous_ words to her. Her own mother wishing she wasn’t alive. It all hurt so damn much, Historia hadn’t even realised she was wetting Nathalie’s shirt with her tears. Her fingers clutched around Nathalie who just kept stroking her hair.

“It’s alright. You have us now,” Nathalie said reassuringly as she pressed a kiss on Historia’s temple and she pulled back to wipe her tears with the back of her fingers.

Historia nodded, cracking a weak smile. “Yeah,”

“Hey,” Eren’s hand found Historia’s shoulder drawing her attention. He gave her a smile. “We’re all here for you. Besides, we’ve all had our fair share of tragic backstories in here,”

Connie chuckled. “Yeah,”

“Except maybe Jean,” Eren said turned at Jean and Jean glared at him.

“Hey!”

“The only tragic thing about Jean is his face,” Eren said with a sly smile.

“And omelettes. Don’t forget the omelettes!” Sasha added.

Jean groaned in irritation. “You guys-!”

“Stop bullying Jean,” Nathalie rolled her eyes. She did not get the _omelette_ reference, but she mentally noted to herself to ask the kids about it later. Her hand found Jean’s hair and started messing them slightly. He was sitting beside her. “What’s wrong with his face? He’s a tall, handsome young man,”

Levi raised an eyebrow. _Tall, huh?_ Everybody started laughing. Jean smacked Nathalie’s hand off his hair and he turned shooting her a glare. “Will you stop doing that?!” Nathalie just gave him a smile that spelled _nope._

Before Levi had the chance to make his brats _shut up,_ the door snapped open and Hange walked in with Moblit and another member of her squad. Everybody stopped fooling around and they stood up.

“I have bad news,” Hange said as the three of them walked in and the kids gathered around them. Nathalie and Levi stood up, all looking at Hange waiting for whatever she had to say. “I’m sorry… Pastor Nick… he was murdered, today in the Trost barracks. I figured the church would want to get their hands on Nick when they figured he’s been cooperating with the Scouts. That’s why I hid his identity and had him stay in the barracks. I never imagined they would use soldiers to kill him,” Hange sat down in a chair and her hand reached for her forehead. “It’s my fault,”

Nathalie’s hand found her friend’s shoulder. “It’s alright. You couldn’t have known that the MPs would get there,”

“They’ll try to silence everyone who knows,” Levi said. “They made an attempt on Nat’s life last night,”

Everybody’s eyes widened.

“What?!” Jean cried out.

“Are you okay?!” Sasha cried out turning at Nathalie.

“You’re not hurt, are you?!” Connie cried out.

Eren gritted his teeth. Fists clenched. “Those bastards!”

“When did this happen?!” Historia asked.

“I don’t understand. Armin and I have been keeping watch outside all night,” Mikasa said.

“It wasn’t here. The MPs attacked me whilst I was running tests in the Survey Corps HQ labs,” Nathalie explained.

Hange gritted her teeth, frustrated. “Those bastards got the gal to attack a Survey Corps Lieutenant in the very Survey Corps Headquarters,”

“They don’t give a shit, at this point,” Levi sipped on his tea.

“I never finished running those tests. I need questions answered. I can’t figure out how to turn titans back into humans if I can’t get my hands on lab equipment,” Nathalie said. Her fingers fisted. It was true. She was just so, _so close_ to figuring this out, but she was stopped, and that was exactly what they wanted to do. The city wasn’t safe for her. _No District_ was safe now.

“Make a list of things that you need. Moblit and I will ride back in Trost and bring them to you,” Hange suggested and Nathalie nodded.

“Captain Levi, sir!” The door slammed open and Nifa walked in. It was the redhead girl from Hange’s squad and she rushed towards the head of the table where Levi was sitting. “I’ve got a message for you from Commander Erwin,” She handed the letter to Levi and he started reading it. “I went to inform him about Pastor Nick, but he gave me this and sent me off,”

Levi’s eyes squinted. Fingers clenched around the paper. “Get your gear, now! We’re leaving,” He stood up. “Make it look like we were never here,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It was by dusk when they had abandoned the HQ and the Levi Squad was now on top of the hill right above it, only to see the MPs barging in and looking for them. Erwin was right. They had come searching for Eren, Historia and Nathalie.

“That was close,” Connie said. Eyes wide in terror. “What if they had caught us? Would they torture us too?”

Nathalie passed her rifle around her arm, and she placed a hand on Connie’s shoulder. “The Captain and I would never let this happen,” She reassured him.

“How did Commander Erwin know they were headed here?” Armin asked turning at Levi.

“The government’s passed down some new orders. There’s been a freeze on all Scout activity outside the wall,” Levi said. It was all going precisely as Erwin had planned. “We’re to hand over Eren, Historia and Nathalie,” Everybody gasped.

“Captain, I didn’t have time to tell you,” Nifa said. “But some MPs came for the Commander right after I left him,”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. Hange’s fists clenched. “What?! Like he’s some kind of criminal?!” She cried out.

“We’re the ones risking our lives daily, _for them_ , and they treat us like this,” Nathalie groaned, kicking angrily on the grass beneath their feet.

“They’re bringing this fight out into the open. No more working through the shadows,” Levi said.

“They’re going to protect the walls’ secrets at any cost,” Hange said.

“We keep Eren and Historia safe until Erwin’s plan is through,” Nathalie said.

Hange nodded but she sighed. She turned at Nathalie. “I can understand why they’re after you, but I don’t understand why they’re after Eren and Historia. It’s clear they don’t want them dead, so what are they planning?”

“Who knows. But they want these two and they’re not being subtle about it,” Levi said. “They want Nathalie dead. That’s clear. She knows too much. She’s too dangerous to be left alive,” He was in no way going to let this happen. “Lingering here is dangerous. We move Eren, Historia and Nathalie back in Trost,”

 _Oh no._ Nathalie knew exactly what he had in mind. He wanted to set a bait just lure the real enemy out and figure out their identity. It was risky. _No-_ it was risky _as hell._ But they didn’t really know who they were up against. Was it the MPs? Or someone _working_ _with_ the MPs?

“We’re taking them to the same District where Pastor Nick was just murdered?” Moblit asked confusedly.

“Heading toward the Interior would be worse. With Trost in a panic it should be easy to slip in. And if things do go to hell,” Levi pushed his cloak aside revealing the ODM beneath. “we can use these in the City,”

“That’s true,” Armin said.

“We don’t know the identity of our enemy yet. I have an idea of how we can change that,” Levi said, proving Nathalie’s assumptions correct. He really _was_ planning on setting a bait. “Hange, I need you to lend me some of your squad,”

“No problem,” Hange nodded. “I’m going after Commander Erwin,” Hange turned at Nathalie. “You still got the samples?” Nathalie nodded. “Give them to me. I’ll keep them safe till the plan is carried out,”

It was a good idea. Nathalie trusted that Hange could put these somewhere safe. She reached for her bag beneath her cloak and she took it off of her shoulders handing it to Hange. “Whatever you do, do not mix the titan spinal fluid with human blood,” Nathalie instructed.

Hange nodded. “Alright,” She turned at the other members of her squad who were standing beside her. “Moblit, with me. The rest of you will go with Levi,” Hange said before she and Moblit turned around and mounted their horses.

“Roger!”

“Nathalie,” Eren said, drawing her attention. He had a piece of paper in his hands. “I have the conversation between Ymir and Berthold that you asked for,”

Nathalie nodded as she took the paper. “Thank you, Eren,” She headed towards Hange and she handed it to her. “It’s not safe with me. I’ll leave this up to you,” Nathalie said and Hange took the paper stuffing it in her pocket.

Hange looked down at Nathalie, as she grasped the reins of her horse. “Don’t die,” Hange said and Nathalie chuckled.

“I’ll try my best,” Nathalie said and Hange returned the smile, before she kicked her horse and she urged it to start riding away, with Moblit riding beside her on his own.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

They camped out in the woods for the night. They should be able to hide there decently. The three members from Hange’s squad offered to keep watch for the night and the kids laid down their sleeping bags and they were already snoring. Nathalie just looked at the kids. The rifle was still in her hand, ready to shoot at anything or anyone that would threaten them, but she could tell it was quiet, and late in the night. Something told her they were safe for now.

It came sudden. Nathalie’s eyes widened when the realisation hit her. She wanted to puke. She had no time to figure out why. She jumped on her feet. A hand clamped around her lips till she ran to a nearby river in the woods. She dropped on her knees and she allowed herself to vomit. Fingers fisted around the grass beneath her. Her body tensed. After she had emptied her stomach and washed her mouth with the water that she had in her pouch, Nathalie stood there and tried to think.

 _What the hell?_ She wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve. _Could it be the crackers?_ She knew they were probably far beyond their expiration date, but still, they didn’t have anything else to eat at the moment, and going to the City for supplies was a risk that they didn’t want to take yet. Nathalie stood back on her feet and tried to forget about this. _Probably the crackers._ Or at least, she wanted to believe that it wasn’t anything worse than food poisoning.

Nathalie stood up on wobbly legs. She felt tired. _No-_ she felt _exhausted_. She couldn’t remember doing something particularly tiring today. _Could I be- No._ Nathalie shook her head and she returned back to camp. She sat back down around her kids and shot the thought away immediately. Her back rested against the bark of a tree. She let her head roll back tiredly. She pulled off her glasses and she let them hung from the rope around her neck. There was no use. It was too dark to see anyway _._ Still, the moonlight stole in through the trees, and it wasn’t _totally_ dark.

“You should sleep,” Levi approached her.

He wasn’t planning on taking off his ODM and she was still wearing it too. Somebody could attack them at any moment and Nathalie’s life was in danger. He couldn’t rest. He couldn’t close his eyes at all. He sat beside her on the soft grass. The tree trunk was large enough for both of them to rest against it.

“And what about you?” Nathalie asked. A warm arm slipped around her waist and brought her close. She rested her cheek on his shoulder. Her nose nuzzled in his neck. Levi pressed his own cheek on top of her head. He buried his nose in her hair and breathed her in. Instant relief washed over him from just holding her.

“I keep you and our brats safe,” He said reassuringly.

Her hand found his chest and rested there. She felt his warm lips as he pressed a kiss on her temple and his other hand tightened around her slightly. Just knowing that he was there was enough to allow herself to close her eyes and slip into the sweet unconsciousness of sleep. It should be infuriating her, knowing that she was so easily handing him her life on a silver platter. Still, he was the only one she could ever trust _that much_. 

He really was all that she ever wanted. Smart, kind and reliable. Sometimes she was convinced she knew him better than she knew _herself_. _Goodness,_ she loved him. She loved this man too much for her own good. She felt so safe there, in his hug that slightly tightened. She buried her face in his chest. A hand was thrown around his belly. She closed her tired eyes and she remembered herself falling asleep with a smile on her lips. 


	42. Old Affiliations

“Try not to walk clustered together. We’ll stand out. Eren and Historia, just act normal,” Levi instructed.

The streets of Trost were busy and crowded. The plan was going smoothly for now. People would be showing up to abduct Eren, Historia and Nathalie any moment now. Or at least, _Jean,_ _Armin,_ and Nathalie _._ It was annoying for both. Jean acting to be the guy that he hated and rivalled almost _all the time,_ and Armin acting to be a girl. His blonde hair and bright blue eyes helped perfectly. Nathalie had to lend him one of her skirts and shirts since Mikasa’s and Sasha’s were too big for him to wear. Nathalie could easily sew them in his size, but she didn’t have the proper equipment and neither the time at the moment.

The three from Hange’s Squad had taken upon themselves to guide Eren and Historia to safety in a carriage that covered them and helped them slip through at the moment. Nathalie was wearing her hood, even though she knew they’d still recognise her and abduct her. But that was in the plan.

“Why’s the royal flag hanging everywhere?” Connie asked.

“Today must be the anniversary of the King’s coronation. Once a year they hand out extra rations to celebrate it,” Sasha answered.

“Huh,”

“All that food and he’s just giving it away?” Mikasa asked surprised.

“It’s not as if he needs it all. He’s here to control people when they’re not starving,” Levi answered.

“You’ve no idea on what lengths people can go to achieve power,” Nathalie said.

The seven of them continued walking down the street until Levi suddenly stopped. No matter how far, he had learned to recognise well the sound of a carriage as it approached. He could tell Nathalie had heard it too. Maybe her abductors were going to show up after all. Nathalie wasn’t wearing her ODM. She was wearing a casual grey skirt with a white shirt on top, but she had daggers in places no one would be able to spot them in. It almost reminded her of back then, when she, Levi, Isabel and Furlan would get in lots of kinds of trouble in the Underground.

“Behind us! Look out!” Levi cried out, urging the kids to stand out of the carriage’s way and into safety.

There were three men on the carriage. One grabbed Armin, the other, Jean, and the other, Nathalie. Nathalie just looked over at Jean and Armin, making sure the two were safe and she allowed the man to tie her hands behind her back. _Patience._ She reminded herself. She trusted Levi’s plans. She always did.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Now they were tied in chairs in an old abandoned warehouse they were hiding in. The ropes were uncomfortably tight around Nathalie’s hands as she watched one of the men who had abducted them approaching them. He was supposed to keep an eye on them. Those men seemed like _total_ amateurs. They hadn’t even searched them for guns or knives or daggers. They had them tied in _ropes._ Professionals would tie them in _chains._ Not to mention, that she could easily reach for her dagger beneath her shirt on her back. Nathalie was willing to bet they had been hired by someone else. _But who?_ She had no idea at this point.

Still, she couldn’t stand to watch the guy playing with Armin’s _fake tits._ Both Armin and Jean were tense. They hated this. She couldn’t let their cover be blown either. Nathalie raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, bald guy,” Nathalie drew the middle-aged man’s attention. “How about you stopped touching the little girl and won’t you come over here to get some _real_ action?”

Jean shot Nathalie a look. He was shaking his head telling her _no._ He didn’t want that guy to start touching her. Nathalie just returned a reassuring look, to help him somewhat calm down. But he didn’t.

Still, the guy turned and approached her. He laughed. “Eager, aren’t we?”

“Well, I can’t help it. I’m very sensitive around bald, chubby, middle-aged men,” Nathalie said. _Bald, chubby, middle-aged men_ were the exact opposite of what her actual type was.

But she was good at pretending, Jean had to admit that. It wasn’t the first time she was seducing someone for the sake of a job. Nathalie had done this again. Levi’s plans always required some _bait._ He hated _using_ her as the bait, but he would always come to her rescue. That was until he taught her enough to not _need_ his rescue.

“I’ve never been with a doctor before,” The man leaned close. His hand found her breasts massaging uncomfortably.

 _It’s nothing you haven’t done before._ Nathalie reminded herself and she kept her composure. “Well, I promise you I know _exactly_ where to touch,” _Finally._ Her hands were freed. She had just finished chopping off the ropes with her dagger, and with a swift move she cut off a finger from the hand that was cupping her breast. The man screamed in pain. The finger landed on the floor. She punched the man hard in the face whilst Mikasa dropped from the rooftop and cut off Nathalie’s restraints.

The man tried to pull out a gun, but Nathalie kicked it away from his hand. Her foot slipped beneath his own, making him lose his balance and fall down. Nathalie straddled him. She wasn’t going to kill him. They needed information from that man.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, our _fucking_ session will have to wait,” Nathalie grunted as she elbowed him hard enough to knock him half unconscious. By the time she got back on her feet, Jean and Armin had been freed off their restraints by Mikasa and Sasha.

“Dad!” Another man came running towards them with three other men following from behind.

Sasha shot an arrow on one man, pinning him from his shirt on a wooden nearby box. Mikasa attacked the other, and Jean with Armin knocked another one out. Nathalie realised she didn’t have to do anything. Her kids had it all covered.

“Don’t even think about moving,” Jean threatened as he tied one down.

“Connie,” Nathalie looked up only to see the kid who was keeping watch from the rooftop. “This is all of them, right?”

“Yeah! That’s all! No one else in the area,” Connie answered.

Nathalie knelt down looking at the man whose finger she had cut off. She recognised him. “Dimo Reeves, correct?” The man tried to take out a gun, but Sasha’s arrow stabbed his sleeve, keeping his hand pinned down on the wooden floor.

“Move again and you won’t like where the next shot hits!” Sasha threatened.

“It’s not nice to ignore a lady when she asks you a question, you know,” Nathalie teased.

“Just what the hell do you want with us?!” Dimo cried out, visibly frustrated.

Nathalie frowned. “For now, stand still,” She turned at the kids and she pulled off her skirt revealing her pants beneath. Armin approached her with her ODM gear and Nathalie started putting it on. She turned at Jean, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, and Connie who were waiting for orders. “Jean, Armin, gear up. Tie Dimo and Flegel Reeves down and do not let them escape,”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Nathalie checked the buttons of the handles of her ODM. It was ready to go. But before she had the chance to climb at the rooftop of the building, Mikasa cut her. “Wait, Nathalie. The Captain left a message. He said it’s not just titans. We’re fighting against people too,”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. _No. No way…_

“We need to meet up with the Captain-” Mikasa tried to say.

“No,” Nathalie cut her. “You kids stay here, stay safe. That’s an order,” She said and before they could say anything, she had already hooked herself on the rooftop and she was out of the building and on top of its ceiling.

She knew what that meant. _No. No, no, no, no, no…_ They hadn’t thought of that _variable_ in the equation that made their plans. _Anti-personnel ODM Gear_ was specifically designed to take out the Scouts. They didn’t have swords. They had guns, which made them extremely dangerous.

For all she knew, the kids couldn’t kill and she wasn’t intending to make them to. She knew that’s what Levi meant. Levi meant for them to go for the _kill._ It wasn’t the same as killing off the titans. These were _humans._ These were people. She didn’t want to stain her kids’ hands with blood. _Not yet_ , at least. They were too young for that. She didn’t want them to get hurt either. They weren’t trained to fight against people with _Anti-personnel ODM Gear._

Nathalie jumped from ceiling to ceiling. She hooked herself from house to house. She had to reach Levi, _fast_. If their enemies were really using anti-personnel ODM gear then there was no way she was going to let Levi deal with this on his own. It was clear, the real enemy here had predicted all their moves. They had hired those amateurs, to react to the bait, and fool them that their plan has been successful so far. This felt _so familiar_. _Someone who wouldn’t care to use amateurs_ … It sounded so _damn_ familiar.

Her breath was caught halfway her throat when she realised who that might’ve been. _No way._ She spotted Levi and Nifa sitting by the rooftop of a building. She landed on that same building. Levi’s eyes widened upon seeing her there. _What the hell_ was she doing?! She wasn’t supposed to be there! She was supposed to be _somewhere safe!_

But he didn’t get to react. A bullet came for Nifa, and Nathalie grabbed the girl just in time. “Nifa, get down!” Nathalie cried out as she grabbed the girl and they rolled down the building together. They landed unceremoniously on the street. “Get Keiji and Don out of here. Get back to Hange and tell her, it’s Kenny the Ripper,” Nathalie spoke hastily but the girl’s eyes widened. She nodded.

“Yes, ma’am!” She said and she started flying away on ODM with the rest of Hange’s squad

Nathalie hooked herself back on the rooftop of the building, but Levi caught her, settling her beside him. Her back crushed against the wall that was going to serve as a shield from the old man’s bullets. Nathalie’s eyes widened. It was really him. _Kenny._ Levi’s fists were clenched. Teeth, gritted painfully against his jaw. He was _furious_ and Nathalie wouldn’t blame him. _After all this time…_ And Nathalie was there, and he had to keep her safe. He growled. She _shouldn’t be here._ But still, he knew he wouldn’t be able to get through this on his own.

“Long time, Levi,” The man approached with heavy steps on the other side of the building. “Still wonder if you’ve outgrown Nat’s height,” They had them surrounded. All on their anti-personnel ODM gears. They were everywhere. In every rooftop of every building. Kenny hooked himself on the wall, coming flying towards them with his guns pointed at them both. “No. Don’t look like you’ve changed much at all, boy!”

Levi drew out his swords. He cried out furiously enough to scare even Nathalie. “KENNY!” He sent a blade flying straight towards the old man’s head, but Kenny dodged it, before he started firing with his guns. Levi’s hand found Nathalie’s waist right away, shielding her with his body, before he threw off his cloak, blocking the view of their bodies from the old man’s target and he urged Nathalie to slip off the building.

Nathalie and Levi dodged the bullets that came their way, and they switched on ODM, jumping from building to building. They finally found Eren and Historia. They had both passed out on the carriage, and one of Kenny’s soldiers was now on the front seat leading the horse to a different direction. Nathalie gritted her teeth. _Eren, Historia…_ they had probably been drugged.

“Nathalie!” Levi cried out and she turned her attention ahead only to see three more of Kenny’s soldiers attacking them at once. Nathalie moved out of the way just in time. That large bullet could have knocked her skull open. _Nothing we’ve never faced before._ She reminded herself once again, and the two of them maneuvered back, avoiding all bullets. “Follow me!” Levi ordered.

The chase was intense. If the two weren’t so skilled, they wouldn’t have made it through this being chased like that. A bullet came flying towards Levi’s way and Nathalie maneuvered towards him. She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the way. Levi sent the hook towards a soldier that was heading for Nathalie. He stabbed him in the chest before drawing the hook back. Levi caught Nathalie’s hand and tossed her with a grunt towards two more soldiers whose necks Nathalie sliced at once with her swords thanks to Levi’s powerful throw.

They had been fighting like this ever since they were children. One saved the other. One _completed_ the other. He was right. He wouldn’t make it out of this mess without her. They passed through buildings and apartments trying to lose them. It was no use. They could predict their moves. Of course, they could. They were Kenny’s soldiers, and Kenny was the one who had raised them. Levi had an idea.

Nathalie noticed he was heading towards a pub. She knew instantly what he had in mind. Pub owners were allowed to use rifles to protect themselves from street gangs. They could use a rifle right now.

The two of them blasted the door of the pub open and they landed in. Nathalie tried to ignore the stinging pain that came from a bruise in her hand. Not to mention the wound in her stomach whose pain was starting to come back slightly. _Dammit._ She hadn’t maneuvered like that ever since they were children.

“It’s Levi!”

“And Burgess! Of the Scouts!” The men inside the pub whispered. The pub owner was shaking in terror as he looked at the two.

“Make yourself at home!” He said frightened.

Nathalie looked at Levi as he pulled something out of his bleeding eye. She gasped. “You okay?!” she asked worriedly.

“It’s just a glass,” Levi reassured her. “Shit…” he cursed. “…if this keeps up, we’ll lose Eren, Historia, and our team, _again,_ ” He gritted his teeth.

“That’s not going to happen,” Nathalie reassured him right before she heard the familiar footsteps and she grabbed his hand, urging both him and herself to hide behind the counter of the bar. 

“I seem to be smelling two rats in this fine establishment. C’mon out, kids! Your papa is here, and I aim to exterminate all the vermin I can find!” Kenny cried out, barging in the bar with his armed guns.

“You know, calling us rats and then calling yourself our _papa_ makes you a rat as well,” Nathalie said raising an eyebrow. “Simple biology really,”

“Aw, Nat, I missed that pretty little mouth of yours spilling out absolute bullshit,” Kenny laughed.

“Been a while, Kenny,” Levi said. “I really thought you’d be dead by now, with all the MPs you were butchering. But now you’re great friends, huh?” Levi asked. His hand reached for the rifle beneath the counter.

“Yeah, well, adults do plenty of things kids like you two can’t understand,” Kenny said. “Oh right, my mistake, you’re supposed to be adults now, but you’re both so goddamn short, it’s hard to tell,” He chuckled. “I always hoped that I’d get to see you two in action someday. I can’t say I’m disappointed either,”

“Oh really? Are you saying you’re proud of us _papa_?” Nathalie said sarcastically and Kenny laughed amusingly.

“Well, you two put up quite a chase. Seems you both still remember every trick I taught ya,” Kenny said. He loaded his guns once more. “But didn’t I ever tell you what happens to two cornered rats? Cause if I had you’d know that wherever you run you’d find a bullet waiting,”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, this is no way to treat your kids, pops,” Nathalie teased before a chair came flying over the endless bottles of liquor that were settled on the shelves behind the bench. All bottles broke, all liquor went to waste. Nathalie sighed as she watched the alcohol being wasted like this. It was _sad_.

“Ohoho it is. Especially when my kids had been acting naughty. Word’s gone out you know things you’re not supposed to, Nat. Of course, I should’ve killed you when you first spelled me your last name. It would have saved me a lot more trouble,” Kenny spat.

“Maybe you should’ve, but you didn’t. How did you explain this to your MP buddies?” Nathalie asked. She knew Kenny knew a whole lot more about her and her origins, but he would never speak. There was no point in making him spill it out.

“Those useless assholes don’t know jackshit. You two must have become Scouts for a reason, and I think I know what that is. We were forced to survive in that little hell hole, giving everything we had just to stay alive. So, when we found out just how big the world really was, you can bet it hurt like hell. But you know what saved us? We found something we enjoy doing. It’s just that simple. Everyone needs a hobby. It’s the only sense of fulfillment we’ll ever find in this wretched world,”

“Oh, I see. Is that why you slice people’s throats then? Because it’s _fulfilling?”_ Levi asked, but she could tell he was only trying to buy themselves some time. His hand reached for a bottle. He turned it slightly to reveal the man’s reflection before he finished arming the rifle.

“Yup. To achieve my grand goal, I’ll kill as many as they get in my way. You two are no different. I taught you to kill too when it benefits you,” Kenny said as he picked up another chair, ready to throw it again at their way.

“Yes… you did,” Levi said as he shot at the man with the rifle upside down. A perfect shot. Nathalie was impressed, even though, she knew that she shouldn’t be. She should expect nothing less from Levi. “Thanks, old man,” Levi tossed the rifle back to the owner and he turned at Nathalie. “Let’s go,”

Levi jumped out of the window as a distraction, and before the man standing on the rooftop had the chance to shoot at him, Nathalie sent her hook right into his stomach, stabbing him to death, before drawing her hook back. Levi shot his hook right to the stomach of another one. He carried the dead body as a shield for both him and Nathalie. The two of them ran on the rooftop of another building towards the two men who were shooting at them.

Levi and Nathalie got close enough to slice their heads off with their swords. They got back into maneuvering, from building to building till they finally spotted the cart with Eren and Historia. Nathalie gritted her teeth. They were still unconscious and they were still being carried away.

Another guy came attacking them. Nathalie dodged the bullet and Levi stabbed him with his hook only for Nathalie to slice his body in half. “They’re here,” Levi said and Nathalie turned to see Jean, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, and Armin flying towards them. Levi and Nathalie rested on top of a building to give their orders. “Get on the wagon!”

“Right!” Mikasa was the only one to respond as Levi and Nathalie continued chasing.

“Listen up. These soldiers were trained to fight other people. They almost took out three of ours. If you hesitate for so much as a second, you’ll be dead,” Levi said. “The moment you see an opening, go for the kill,”

“Yes, sir,” Mikasa was the only one to speak. Nathalie could tell the others didn’t like this. _Of course,_ they didn’t. Levi was asking them to _kill._ Nathalie didn’t like it the first time she did it. _But this is a cruel world._

Levi took out one of the two soldiers on the cart, and Nathalie took out the other. There were still many soldiers all around the buildings and they’d come attacking them any second.

“Armin! Secure the wagon with Jean!” Levi ordered.

“Sir!” Armin said.

“T- They killed them…” Jean said shocked. He could believe it about Levi, but he could never believe that someone like Nathalie could actually take a human life.

“C’mon! Let’s go!” Armin urged him to snap out of it.

Nathalie sent her hook over another soldier, stabbing him and drawing him close enough for her to slice with her swords. She did it again with another one. If they kept this up, they’d have no gas to keep chasing Eren and Historia. Nathalie looked down at the wagon only to see the woman pointing the gun at Jean’s head. Nathalie gritted her teeth as she rushed towards him. “Jean!” _No, no, no, no…_ She landed between him and the gun, shielding his body with her own. There was no way she was letting Jean die.

_Bang-bang._

Levi’s eyes widened.

“NATHALIE!”


	43. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if you guys are caught up with the manga BUT WTF IS ISAYAMA DOING IN CHAP138 LIKE WTFFFFFFFFFFFF
> 
> Just letting y'all know that THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY that I follow the canonical plot when I reach season four. I've no idea what I'm going to do, but I won't follow canon after the finale of season 3, and I'M SORRY IF YOU'RE HERE FOR THE CANON STUFF, BUT I JUST CAN'T FOLLOW ISAYAMA'S BS ...now excuse me while I go cry my eyes out😭😭
> 
> Please, enjoy! If you're suffering with me right now, I hope this chapter helps you cope somehow ahhahah, also thanks for the support!! Thank you for the awesome comments and all those kudos!! I promise I WON'T KILL ANYBODY and I'LL MAKE SURE no one gets TITANISED, and I'll make sure my version of the story will have a happy end and everyone is going to live LONG HAPPY LIVES !!! 
> 
> ~~FUCK!~~
> 
> Also, this chap is 5k words, you guys enjoyyyyyy!! 😘😘

_“Oi,” The boy approached her. He had a clean handkerchief in his hands. He wiped her tears with the soft fabric and he frowned. “Is crying all you do?” He handed her the piece of cloth before he let out a heavy sigh. “I know a place. Follow me,”_

_She couldn’t believe this. He was actually helping her? That was the most anybody had spoken to her. She couldn’t help it. She pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-”_

_“Shut up, already,” The boy said harshly before he pushed her away till her back crushed against the wall of the building behind her. The air was knocked out of her chest and she almost fell on her bum, but she didn’t care. That boy was actually going to help her._

_She extended her hand. “I’m Nat,” She said with a wide smile on her face, and her eyes shined bright with hope._

_It was the first time he had made somebody smile, and quite frankly, he hadn’t even tried, if anything, he was trying his best to be rude and get rid of her, yet she was still smiling. What the hell’s wrong with that girl?! He shook her hand just to avoid her whining._

_“Levi,” He said dryly before he turned around. “Follow me,”_

_He seemed to know his way around the Underground. Nathalie was walking through streets that she had never seen before. Men were all around, staring at her with hungry eyes. Nathalie cowered behind the boy who was still holding his dagger tightly in his hands, making sure that everybody could see it._

_They finally reached a building. A man was sitting by the steps, with a bottle of alcohol resting beside him. He was wearing a hat, even though there was no sun in the Underground, and he had a cigar, dancing between his lips. He laughed when he saw them approaching._

_“Already bringing girls home, boy?” Levi did not give an answer and the old man was forced to pull his hat away and make the questions himself. He turned at the girl. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”_

_“Nathalie Burgess, sir,”_

_The man’s eyes widened. Fingers clenched around his cigar, smashing it in half. Nathalie was afraid that he was going to beat her. She was used to violence. It was a frequent thing back in her home. But the man did not hit her. He lit another cigar, finally reaching a decision in his mind, and regretting every single bit of it. He was in no mood for babysitting. Becoming somebody’s dad was a pain in his ass already with Levi around. But **that name** … He should probably lift his gun up right now and plant a bullet in her head. _

_Yes. That’s what he should do. His hand reached back for his gun. Fingers fisted around it tightly. Levi got in the way immediately. He pushed Nathalie behind him and he threw a hand protectively in front of her._

_“Get out of the way, boy,”_

_“I did not bring her here for you to kill her,” Levi growled._

_But then an idea struck Kenny. It would be a shame to kill a Burgess. He couldn’t even imagine how much that girl would be worth to the King one day. Not to mention that the girl would wake up one day and know things that the King wasn’t telling him. It’d be wiser to use that._

_Kenny let go of his gun and he pulled out a smile. “Kill her? What makes you think I’d do that?”_

_Levi frowned. His shoulders slightly relaxed._

_“Welcome to the fam, Nat,”_

_Six years. He promised himself. Six years he’d give those brats and he’d let them go. He couldn’t be anybody’s dad. Not with his current profession. And true to himself, he did abandon them in the streets of the Underground six years later. The boy was twelve, and the girl was eleven. He had taught them to survive. They’d be fine making it on their own._

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“NATHALIE!”

The body crashed down on the cart, dead and lifeless. But it wasn’t Nathalie’s body, nor Jean’s. It was the woman’s who was holding the gun. She got out of the way, only to reveal Armin with another gun in his hands. He was the one who had shot her and who had saved both their lives.

But three more came from behind. Levi gritted his teeth. “Armin! Jean!” He grabbed Nathalie, and Mikasa grabbed Jean, whilst Sasha grabbed Armin. They pulled them out of the way before the bullets could’ve hurt them. The three soldiers got on the wagon and drove it away, with Eren and Historia still on top.

Mikasa tried to go after them but Levi stopped her.

“Let them go,” Levi ordered. “We’re running on fumes,”

Mikasa tried to fight against him. “No!” She shouted. “EREN!”

Armin’s hand reached for his mouth. He had just taken a life. He wanted to puke. Nathalie grabbed his hand and led him towards the river. Armin dropped on his knees and started crying and puking his guts out. _That’s why_ Nathalie didn’t want them to _kill._ The guilt was always _immense_. No one can be the same after the first time of taking a life.

Nathalie held his hair back and she knelt beside him. It was her fault. She should’ve taken that woman out herself. She was just so scared of losing someone. She had lost _everyone,_ and _now_ she couldn’t lose anyone else again. Not those kids. _Her_ kids.

“I’m so sorry, Armin,” Nathalie said. She took out a handkerchief and she handed it to him. Armin turned and looked at her with tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“Was it… the same for you… when you first-”

“Yes,” Nathalie cut him before she pulled him into a hug, letting him sob on her shoulder and clutch on her clothes. Her hand found his hair, caressing comfortingly. “That’s why I am no doctor… and I can never be,”

That realisation hurt her more than she had realised. She could never be a doctor. She could never take the _oath_ that she’d never take a life. _This is a cruel world._ She didn’t have to keep reminding herself. The _cruelty_ and _the violence_ were _everywhere._ They were all around them, surrounding them and oppressing them with _fear._ She wanted to see this end. She wanted to see people grow, and they wouldn’t have to ever take a life. And she wanted to atone for taking all these lives by helping this world become a better place. They all fought for that.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Armin whispered against her wettened shoulder and Nathalie held him for a moment more.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Nathalie said, stroking his back. Hands slightly tightened around him, before she pulled back and wiped his tears with the back of her fingers. “Let’s meet up with the others,”

Armin nodded and he stood up to walk back to the street. Nathalie stood up as well but it almost felt like the world around her was spinning. She shut her eyes. Her hand found her forehead. _What the hell’s wrong with me?_ Did all that maneuvering cause her to get dizzy? It was possible, but she slipped back to her senses when Armin’s hand found her shoulder.

“Are you alright, Nathalie?” The boy asked worriedly.

Nathalie gave him a reassuring smile. “Aw, it’s nothing. Probably all that maneuvering got me dizzy,” She said and the boy nodded. Part of her _screamed danger_ , but the other part just tried to ignore it. _It’s nothing._ “C’mon,” she gave Armin another smile.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nobody could munch on their crackers. They had settled on wooden boxes, that served as benches, that they had found in the abandoned warehouse where they found shelter for the night. They were sitting around a lantern that brought enough light, but there was nothing else to eat but those crackers that the Scouts would normally bring in their Expeditions. They were high calory and did not need any specific environment to be conserved in.

Still, no one had the appetite to eat after what happened today. Except maybe for Levi. Nathalie couldn’t eat her cracker either. It wasn’t all that blood and death that had bothered her stomach. She had been puking the crackers out last night and now she felt sick just looking at them. She sighed and she stuffed the cracker back in her bag. _What wouldn’t I give for a little bit of chocolate right now?_ Her stomach growled. She hadn’t had chocolate for a _while._ But she wasn’t going to complain no matter how much she needed that chocolate right now.

Levi and Nathalie were just so used to that kind of life. It had been their everyday life for so many years. Being on the run, and being forced to kill and do _unspeakable_ things to survive. That had been their life for more than a decade. But the kids were new to this. They were quiet, and their cheery attitude, long gone. There were no jokes to go around. Eren and Historia had been abducted. Mikasa had been a mess.

Nathalie hated that she and Levi were the ones to introduce them into this cruelty. Armin’s hand was shaking as he brought the cracker up, to take a bite. His lips wouldn’t part. Nathalie’s steady hand met Armin’s. She stopped the shaky movement of his hand and he turned and looked at her with eyes of terror and disgust, and sorrow. Nathalie pushed his hand down on his lap and she took the cracker from his fingers.

“Best not to eat after vomiting like that,” Nathalie said as she tossed the cracker back in her bag. 

“What’s wrong?” Levi asked, breaking the silence and attracting their attention. “Did all this filth kill your appetite?”

Levi had been shooting Nathalie the _I will scold you so fucking bad_ glare, but he was keeping quiet for now. That was probably because she had risked her life getting in the way to save Jean. Still, Levi would’ve done the same for Jean and for every single person in his squad. But for a moment he thought he had lost her, and that thought was _terrifying._

“No,” Armin said. “Jean. There’s something I don’t understand,”

“What’s that?” Jean asked. Equally as shocked as Armin was about today.

“When I turned around and tried to save you, that woman already had her gun to your head. It’s… funny. How could I have shot before she did?” Armin asked, even though, he knew the answer.

Jean tensed up. He gritted his teeth. Hands fisted in his lap. The woman didn’t want to shoot him, and he didn’t want to shoot back. But they were on different sides, and they had to. _If only things weren’t so fucked up._ “I don’t know,” Jean choked out. Nathalie’s hand found his shoulder and she opened her mouth to speak, but Levi spoke first.

“You shot first because she hesitated,” He stated. “It’s simple,”

“I’m sorry, Armin. I’m sorry Nathalie. You two wouldn’t have had to save me if I’d just done my job,” Jean gritted his teeth.

“Hey, it’s only natural to hesitate at first,” Nathalie said but she could tell she wasn’t doing a good job at reassuring him.

“I know what it is…” Armin spoke. “…the woman I shot back there… I bet she was a really kind person. She must’ve been more human that I could ever hope to be. I pulled that trigger so easily… without a thought. I’m-”

“A killer,” Levi stated coldly.

Nathalie sighed. She knew Levi was having a hard time being sympathetic with people _but_ “Levi!” she scolded him but he ignored her.

“And now that your hands had been soaked in blood, the person you once were is gone for good,” Levi said.

Mikasa gasped. “Why would you say that?!”

“You shouldn’t regret it for one second, because if you’d chosen to keep your hands clean, Jean would be a corpse on a cart right now,” Levi said and everybody fell quiet. Nathalie chose to let Levi do the _talk._ “I’ll tell you why you pulled the trigger. Because your comrade was about to die. Armin, everyone on our squad survived today, because you got blood on your hands. Thank you,”

“Captain Levi,” Jean said shakily. “I- I thought it was wrong for us to fight other humans, sir. I thought it was wrong that you ordered us to do it. I mean… we became soldiers to protect people. But now, I see that I was on the wrong, sir. Next time, I swear, I’ll shoot,”

“I never said anything about what was right or wrong,” Levi said, and Jean looked at his Captain surprised. “Mine and Nat’s moral high-grounds are shot to hell. We’ve no idea who’s in the right at this point,”

Nathalie sighed as she stood up and placed her cup down. He was right, but it was time they changed the subject. “Let’s see what dear Mr. Reeves has to say,”

Levi, Nathalie, and Mikasa stood up and approached the man that was tied on a pole. Nathalie pulled off the cloth that they had tied around his mouth.

“Mercy! Please! I’m just an old man that used to move cargo, I wouldn’t-”

“Dimo Reeves, right?” Levi asked.

“This damn job was forced on us by the Military Police, and now that we’ve fucked it, they’ll plunder the Reeves Company for everything it’s worth,” Dimo said. “First they’ll kill me. Then they’ll set up accidents for all my employees, my dumb son too,”

“Boo hoo,” Nathalie mocked. “So what? You’re just gonna lay down and take it? If I’m correct, you’re the reason Trost recovered from that titan attack,”

“Tell me, if your company were to disappear, how many will survive the coming winter?” Levi asked, resting a hand on his waist.

“So, what? You want me to join you?” Dimo asked.

“We just need to know where Eren and Historia are,” Levi said. “If you’re in contact with the MPs, I think I have a plan,”

“And will you give me your word that the people of Trost won’t end up starving to death?” Dimo asked, and Levi knelt down on one knee.

“I can’t guarantee it, that said, I believe they’ll have a better chance with us than without,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Our situation just got worse!” Hange barged into Erwin’s room with Moblit behind her. Her three members had just told her about Kenny and the Reeves Company. “I have three things to report, Commander. First, Eren and Historia have been abducted by the enemy,”

Erwin’s eyes widened. He stood up right away. Fists clenched. Heart beat fast. “What about Nathalie?!”

“Nathalie’s safe for the time being,” Hange said and Erwin’s shoulders relaxed slightly. “I’m about to meet Levi and Nat and help them follow a lead that they’ve got on Historia’s and Eren’s current whereabouts,” Hange said.

“Understood. What else?”

“Nathalie asked Eren to remember a conversation between Ymir and Berthold back when they had him abducted,” That insistent headache struck Hange once again. Her hand reached for her forehead and she groaned. “But if this is actually true then- SHIT! Nathalie’s theories were correct, I can’t fucking believe it. I feel like my head’s about to explode. How did she even know that-”

“Are you okay?!” Moblit asked worriedly. His hand found her shoulder and Erwin offered her a glass of water.

“Here,”

Hange snatched the glass off Erwin’s hands and she chugged it down her throat. “Nathalie was right. If an unintelligent titan consumes an intelligent titan, then they inherit their abilities and they turn back into a human. That said, unless we recover Eren quickly, he is going to be devoured,” 

Erwin gritted his teeth. “Nathalie foretold us all this. You know what to do,”

“And one last thing, Commander,” Hange said. “Moblit and I have been checking Nathalie’s samples in the labs. We continued her research. I tried the titan spinal fluid onto an almost dead rat, and healed the rat from the brink of death. Of course, the rat didn’t turn into a titan because it doesn’t have the genes that Nathalie’s been talking about,”

“I remember Nathalie wanted to try it on a human subject,” Erwin said.

“The MPs won’t let me access any prisons to retrieve one, that’s why I ran the experiments on rats. I’m positive that if we inject Mrs. Springer with Eren’s titan spinal fluid, she will turn back into a human,” Hange said.

“That said, if we combine both Eren’s titan spinal fluid and a normal titan’s spinal fluid, the outcome will be a serum that can heal somebody from the brink of death,” Moblit finished for Hange. 

Erwin nodded. “Excellent work. We’ll make big amounts of that serum for the mission in Shiganshina,”

The others nodded. “Yes, sir!”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

After using Dimo Reeves to lure out in a carriage two MPs from the Interior Squad, they took them further away from the city and into an abandoned cabin in the woods. Levi and Nathalie got right into work. She hadn’t tortured somebody in so long. She was going to enjoy this. Levi and Nathalie could be _very_ scary if they wanted to. After all, they have had the best teacher around.

Still, they had taken out all nails, beat him to near death, and the man wouldn’t talk. Nathalie was almost feeling sorry for the guy. But it didn’t take long when Hange and Moblit barged in.

“I made it! You guys haven’t finished yet, have you?!” Hange cried out as she approached the two and the man who was tied in a chair.

“No,” Levi said.

“Haven’t even gotten our feet wet,” Nathalie said pulling on the glove in her hand. 

“Sannes!” Hange growled. “I’m only a novice at human torture, but while I like experience, I plan to give this job my all,” She grabbed the pincers and went straight for a tooth.

“Hold on! At least, tell me what you want! Who the hell tortures without asking questions!” Sannes cried out and Nathalie realised he was right. They hadn’t asked _anything_.

“Oh shit, did we forget to ask?” Nathalie turned at Levi and he shrugged in response. She grabbed another set of pincers and she pulled out another tooth. “Where’s Eren and Historia?!” Nathalie demanded, but the man was too occupied with screaming in pain.

“What do you want with Historia? What is the Reiss family?” Hange asked.

“C’mon! Can’t you see that we’re in a time crunch here?!” Hange cried out giving him a harsh slap in the face that made Moblit cringe. _Whoah._

“What’s the deal with the Burgess family anyway?” Levi asked. If anybody knew, it’d be them.

The man’s eyes widened. “Burgess…” he turned and looked at Nathalie. “You’re… Nathalie Burgess… the Outsider,”

So, her origins really were from _outside_ the walls. She had known it for a while now, but now she was sure.

“How long do you think _you’ll_ get to avoid being tortured like this?” Sannes asked turning at Nathalie. “You know things… things _he_ wants to extract from you… they’ll try everything to make you talk,”

“I know nothing,” Nathalie stood her ground.

“Oh, but you do… can’t you see their memories? Your father’s memories. Your grandfather’s memories… and so on. You know everything, and he needs it,” Sannes said before Levi punched him hard in the nose, breaking the bone beneath and the man screamed.

“Who is **_he_** _?!”_ Levi growled.

He grasped the man by the shirt. Fingers fisted painfully around the fabric, threatening to rip it off. _They’ll try everything to make you talk… No._ He wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. He wasn’t going to let anybody lay a finger on her. Levi let go of the man’s shirt and he started hitting, and punching, till the man’s face was covered in nothing but blood and bruises. It almost felt like forever. Even his knuckles beneath the gloves were starting to hurt. But Levi didn’t care.

No one was going to _touch_ Nathalie. _No one._ He’d track down whoever wanted her, and he’d skin them alive. He’d rip them apart. Nathalie was _his_ and no one else’s. He didn’t care what they wanted from her. He only cared about her safety. Nathalie grabbed his hand to stop him. He didn’t _give a fuck_ whether they needed the man alive to _speak._

Still, soft eyes met his own, and hands grabbed his own, letting him know that he had gone too far. He hadn’t even realised he was almost breathless from all the punching and kicking.

“We’ll call this a break,” Levi said coldly before he shook away Nathalie’s hand and he took off his gloves, storming out. Fingers, clenched. No one was going to even lay a finger on Nathalie. He wouldn’t allow it.

Hange had a different idea of how to make Sannes speak. The poor man kept talking about how he believed in the peace behind the walls, and his loyalty over the King. He told them about silencing all those people who tried to bring change in this world. Killing them no matter how much they begged, all actions justified just to keep the peace. Nathalie could finally tell why they were so primitive technologically and scientifically. It was because the King had his Interior MP Squad to kill everyone who tried to bring something new to light.

That wasn’t peace. That was _oppression._

Still, Hange’s plan worked. They had the man’s subordinate, play the act of the guy who had given in and talked. Then the words slipped right out of Sannes’s mouth. _Reiss is the true Royal family._ It all started to make sense.

“You mean, the rightful heir to the throne is…” Armin tried to say. “…Historia?”

“That’s correct,” Hange said. “And based on that knowledge, we assume that Eren and Historia have been taken to Lord Reiss,” Hange turned at Moblit who took out a sketch that he himself had made.

He unrolled the piece of paper. “That’s him,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie remained quiet. She watched Levi as he washed the blood off his gloves from the water they had gathered in a barrel. His knuckles were close to a deep purple colour. Probably from all that punching and hitting and kicking. She had seen Levi hurt somebody that hard before. Sure, he had hurt Eren harder back in that courtroom, but that was all staged. This one… it was pure anger. A part of Levi’s that always frightened her. He never let that part of himself out. At least, not when she was around.

But she could tell he was furious. She could tell his teeth were gritted. His hands were rubbing almost harder than needed on the soft fabric of the blood-stained gloves. He had already washed out most of the blood, but he was still rubbing against it. She could tell he was still angry about before. About what the soldier had said. _They’ll try everything on you to make you talk._ And her assumptions were correct. He would have wrecked the small room to pieces if she wasn’t there to watch him.

His self-restraint never failed him though. He still had that dead look of boredom on his face, even though she could still tell everything that he was thinking. Nathalie was hesitant. She didn’t want to get on his nerves. She didn’t want to have him shout at her. What she realised in the end, was that she was slightly _scared_ of him. She had learned how to deal with all his attitudes, but this one, she wasn’t familiar with.

“Levi-”

“Shut up, Nat,”

Nathalie bit her tongue. He’d never cut her firmly like this. Surely, she loved the harsh, authoritative tone in his voice, but not _like this._ His hand found the thick, fat wood of the barrel. Fingers clenched around it, snapping the wood to pieces beneath his grasp.

“You stupid fuck,” He whispered beneath his breath, and she couldn’t tell whether he was addressing to himself or her. But he turned around and looked at her, and before she even knew it, her back crushed against the brick wall, and his hands had trapped her there. “We shouldn’t have gotten along this _fucking_ plan. You shouldn’t have opened your stupid mouth that day,” Levi growled.

She knew what he was talking about. He was talking about a few nights ago when she asked him to call for Erwin and Hange and tell them all about what she had figured out. It was the night they had come up with the plan that was now in motion. A plan to save _everybody._

“If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be having this plan-”

“A fucking plan that’s going to FUCKING KILL YOU!”

Levi shouted at her, unlike any other time. Nathalie took it. She’d take everything he’d throw at her, and in the end, she would know, that he was just worried. He was worried, and it drove him insane, and now he was making her see that one part of himself that he was letting out only when he’d been murdering people in cold blood back in the Underground whenever she wasn’t watching.

She couldn’t tell how long she remained silent, or how long he stared at her while she tried her best to avoid his gaze. He had scared her. He saw it in the slight way her hands trembled. _No._ He didn’t want this. He didn’t mean for this to happen. She was supposed to feel safe around him, not scared. What the hell was wrong with him? Where the hell was his self-restraint? He had just managed to scare the one person he cared about the most.

“I’m sorry,” He knew these words weren’t enough. They meant _nothing_.

“It’s alright-”

Of course, she’d say that. And she was going to say it again, but he wasn’t done. “I’m so sorry,” He was just a weak, _terrified_ man who couldn’t stand the thought of losing her. That was all that he was. He was nothing more. Levi buried his face in her neck, seeking for comfort. Comfort that only she could provide. His hands slipped around her. Her own hands found his hair. Fingers slipped lazily and soothingly on his tormented head, bringing him nothing but relief while he had done nothing but scare her.

“It’s alright, Levi,” She pressed a kiss on his temple. His breaths brushed warm against her skin on her neck. Hands tightened around her almost painfully, but she wasn’t going to complain. “I know you’re worried, and scared-”

“I’m not scared,” He cut her. Levi pulled back. Hands cupped her face. “I’m _terrified,_ ”

“Well, you shouldn’t be, because whatever happens, I’ll always come back to you,” Nathalie said shakily. A tear ran down her cheek and he kissed it away immediately.

“You can’t know that,” He pressed his forehead against her own.

“I’ve always been beside you, Levi, I promised you I’ll never leave,” Nathalie’s eyes met his own. She could tell he too had tears that he wasn’t letting come down. But she had promised him. She had promised him after the 57th Expedition, where they lost their first squad, he had made her promise him she’d _never leave his side._ “I promised… I promised I’ll never-”

His lips clashed on top of her own, and he stole her breath and the unnecessary words. _Yes,_ she had promised. She had promised she’d let him protect her. She had promised she’d let him take care of her, and hold her, and keep her safe. But he should make her _feel_ safe around him. He should make her able to trust him with no second thoughts. 

He kissed her like there was no tomorrow. His tongue dominated against her own and she let him, gladly. She would let him do anything to her if it meant _pleasing him_. His hands tightened around her again. It almost hurt. Nathalie squirmed in his mouth, but it only made him kiss her harder. His hands were all over her body, clutching on her clothes. Fingers dug harshly enough into the flesh of her hips to leave behind bruises, giving her just the right amount of pain, and pleasure, and _love_. She didn’t care. _Love can hurt sometimes_. She’d take it all, so long as it was coming from him.

His hand slipped beneath her shirt. He released a breast from her tight bra and he trapped a sensitive nipple between his fingers, pinching hard enough to send another stinging pain. _Dammit._ She never thought she’d enjoy _pain_ so much. Nathalie gasped. His tongue forced its way down her throat. Her body was knocked harshly against the wall once more. She gasped again. The air, knocked out of her. Her hand reached for him, to sneak beneath his shirt and touch him. He did not allow her. He caught her wrist, pinning her hand on the wall at the level of her head, showing her exactly who was in charge. Showing her that she couldn’t move and do and say anything without his permission. It had always been that way. It had always been him the one to guide her, and she had wholeheartedly submitted to him.

He bit harshly down on her lip and Nathalie squirmed. He loved those helpless sounds that were knocked out of her. He loved having her at his mercy. She was his to dominate and kiss and bite and touch. She was all _his._ He buried his face in her neck and he started biting and feasting on her skin like a wild animal, eliciting gasps and moans that drove him insane. He wanted so much to do to her here and now. He wanted to hear her _scream_ his name. He wanted to make her _beg_.

He could have had her right there, and he wouldn’t care less about the brats listening. They could learn a thing or two _or ten._ But the loud sound of something breaking came from downstairs. It was either the sound from intruders, or just the brats had gone insane. They pulled back only to stare at each other with knowing looks. They had to check this out.


	44. An Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EHEHEHE I've been waiting so long to post this chapter and ~~make y'all cry~~ Er- I mean, see your reactions ehehehehehehhe 😈😈😈😈
> 
> Also, imagine Levi saving you from scary insects omg 😩👌😍
> 
> This is 3k words. The next few chaps including this one are just gold 👌👌 _yes I am not ashamed to brag_ 😂😂
> 
> Enjoy! 😘

A table came flying and crushing on the stone floor. Nathalie and Levi were just walking downstairs to check out _what the hell_ had broken and made a sound like that. Hange and Moblit had taken care of locking the soldiers up, but something must have happened that had infuriated Hange enough to kick on that table.

“I’m sorry, seems I made a mess,” Hange said.

“Are you okay?” Nathalie asked turning at Hange, but Hange just put her goggles back in place and Moblit shook his head _no_ from behind. Nathalie got the message.

“I encountered a large cockroach,” Hange said, it was obvious she was lying, but Nathalie’s eyes widened anyway.

“COCKROACH?!” Nathalie cried out, and before Levi even knew it, he was holding her bridal style.

Her body, shaking in terror. Levi sighed. He could never understand how Nathalie could approach _ten-metre titans_ and experiment on them and even _smile_ at them, whilst she could never approach a _goddamn cockroach._ He wouldn’t complain though. She was so _cute_ when scared of insects. Levi had always been around to deal with them. Nathalie’s hands tightened around his shoulders and she scanned wide-eyed the floor, trying to find the small insect. Even though, a more logical part of her told her that there was no cockroach at all.

“A large one too?!?! HOW BIG?!”

“Relax,” Levi said. “I bet she kicked it hard enough to learn its lesson,” He let go of her, and Nathalie’s feet found the floor again, even though, she still cowered behind him. Hands slipped around him and she was still searching for something on the floor. “Nat,” Levi caught her attention. “It’s time you filled them in,”

Nathalie sighed in relief. _There’s no cockroach_. “Oh! Right,”

The four adults walked into the other room, where they found Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Jean, and Connie sitting around a table and waiting. Nathalie and Hange had taken a moment to talk about the things that Hange had figured out about the titan spinal fluids, and the serum, and about Eren being devoured. Nathalie had theories about all these, and Hange was just providing her the evidence.

“So, they plan to eat Eren?!” Armin said, wide-eyed when Nathalie finished explaining.

“I’m afraid so. My previous theory was, that when an unintelligent titan consumes an intelligent titan, then the intelligence -or else- _the ability to change back into human form_ , is passed down to the unintelligent titan along with the specific power,” Nathalie said.

“It’s been proven by a conversation that Eren remembered between Berthold and Ymir,” Hange added.

“B- But how did you know this, Nathalie?” Armin asked.

“It’s simple, really. Eren has a protein in his body that deactivates the genes that turn people into titans. If an unintelligent titan was to consume that protein, then they’d too turn back into a human. That’s what I’ve been meaning to try on Connie’s mom,” Nathalie explained and Connie tensed up. Nathalie turned at the kid. “With your permission, of course,”

Connie nodded, but Armin continued with the questions. “Yeah, but how did you know about Eren having that protein?”

Nathalie parted her lips to answer, but she realised, she _didn’t._ At least, when she first started working on her theories, she wasn’t sure about Eren and that particular protein and how it worked. She _just knew_.

“W- We found out from the samples that we got the other day during the experiments!” Hange saved her. “But the thing is, if the government has a titan of their own, they’ll use it to eat Eren,”

Mikasa growled. She jumped on her feet, ready to storm out, but Levi’s hand found her shoulder, stopping her. “Calm down. I know you want to get Eren back, but going on a rampage won’t help,” He reminded her and Mikasa sighed deeply. Levi turned back at the others. “We head for Rod Reiss’s Estate. Prepare to leave at once,”

“Sir!” The kids left to go get ready.

“I’ll go tell Erwin everything we’ve learned about the Reiss Family,” Hange said. “I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to know that everything’s going according to plan,”

“Right,” Levi said.

“You better leave quickly after you tell him. I’m willing to bet they’re already trying to frame him and take him into custody,” Nathalie said. _All according to plan._

Moblit sighed. “Reckless plans as always,”

“Tell me about it,” Hange sighed. “You two take your squad and head to Reiss’s estate. We’ll come find you with my squad when we can,” Hange said.

“Did Nifa and the others find you safely?” Nathalie asked and Hange nodded.

“Yes,” Hange pulled on her cloak, giving her friend a smile. “Thanks, Nat. For keeping them safe,”

Nathalie nodded. “Of course,”

Nathalie and Levi followed Moblit and Hange as they walked out of the small building. It was late in the night, and Nathalie could tell, the new day would be dawning soon. Before Hange and Moblit had the chance to mount their horses, gunshots came and bullets buried deep within their horses’ legs.

“Shit!” Levi cursed. He threw a protective hand around Nathalie, urging her to move behind him.

“What the-” Hange tried to say, but Moblit pulled her out of the way of a bullet that could have injured her badly in her chest.

“Hange!” Moblit cried out. His hands tightened around her. Her back pressed against his chest.

Levi was finally beginning to see. It was so late in the night, but clouds finally moved away allowing the moonlight to shine through and reveal Kenny and his squad. Levi gritted his teeth. He was armless. He only had a knife on him. Hange and Moblit were wearing their ODM but still, the men that came out were many. All in their thick, black coats that hid the Anti-personnel ODM gear beneath.

And then it was Sasha, Connie, Jean, Mikasa and Armin, all made to kneel down with daggers in their necks. It only needed a move to slaughter them all like animals. Nathalie’s and Levi’s eyes widened. She couldn’t believe this was happening. _No._ She could hear nothing but the sound of her heartbeat, and her kids squirming.

“Levi… o- our kids…” Nathalie’s voice trembled. She wasn’t armed either. She had no daggers on her. She didn’t have her ODM. _How did they find us?!_ They weren’t ready. They didn’t expect to be cornered like this. Nathalie’s fingers fisted painfully.

Levi gritted his teeth. “Kenny,” he growled.

“What is it, boy? Surprised to see me?” Kenny smiled wickedly.

“Let them go!” Nathalie shouted.

“Now, now, why would I do that?” Kenny leaned and took a better look at Jean, Armin, Sasha, Mikasa, and Connie who were standing in line, with both knives in their throats and guns in their heads. There was nothing that they could do. “They happen to be in perfect _throat-slicing_ position,”

“You son of a-” Hange growled. She and Moblit pushed their cloaks aside and tried to use her ODM but Kenny stopped them.

“You might regret moving, Section Commander. All they need is a notion of my hand and the poor kids will bleed out before you know it,” Kenny said.

“What the fuck do you want?!” Levi cried out. He was furious. He couldn’t lose another squad. He had lost a squad. He had lost his friends. _No more._

“I’m just a simple man trying to fulfil my dreams, boy. What I want is dear daughter to come back home with daddy,” Kenny mocked pointing his gun at Nathalie, but Levi got in the way. It was all the same. Just like back then. The first time Levi had brought Nathalie to this man. He was standing between her and a gun. 

_No, no, no, no, no…_ Levi’s eyes widened. He urged Nathalie to make another step behind him. Now he had to choose between his kids and _her._ No. _No. Why?! Why_ did this have to happen?! Their hands were tied. There was nothing they could do. Hange and Moblit, even with their ODM, couldn’t do anything. A wrong move could have them splitting the kids’ throats open.

Levi knew what Nathalie was thinking. He knew exactly what she was going to do. He wasn’t going to let her. He wasn’t going to let her get herself killed. That wasn’t in the plan. No one was supposed to die in their plan. Kenny showing up _here_ and _now_ wasn’t in the plan. What were they going to do to her once they’d take her? They were going to torture her. They were going to pull her nails out. They were going to beat her up and then kill her.

He couldn’t let this happen. She shouldn’t expect him to let her. He couldn’t let go of that one person in his life that made that wretched life of his _bearable._ Nathalie tried to push his hand away from around her, but his hand only tightened.

“No,” Levi said firmly.

“Please, Levi, you need to let me-”

“No, dammit!” Levi growled. He turned to look at her. “You can’t trust that he won’t kill them even if you do as he asks,”

“I can, watch me,” Nathalie said. Before he even knew it, she escaped his grasp. She grabbed the dagger that he had fitted in his belt and she pressed the blade slightly at her one wrist. She lifted her hand up, threatening to cut her wrist open and bleed to death.

Kenny and everyone flinched slightly. “What the hell are you doing, kid?!” Kenny cried out.

“I’m making a bargain,” Nathalie spat. “My life, for theirs,” If all they needed is to bring her in alive, then she could take away from them just that. The only way she could bring herself to trust Kenny, was to hold something that he needed right now, and right now he needed her alive to bring her in to his superiors. If he was going to slit the throats of her kids, she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of succeeding on his _stupid_ mission.

Levi’s heart was about to burst. Was she actually doing this?! Was she actually threatening to commit suicide to save the kids?! _Of course_ , she was. She loved each and every one of them as if they were her own. But those tactics were going to get her killed. He couldn’t let this happen. He couldn’t lose her.

“Put the goddamn knife down, Nat,” Levi growled.

“Are you fucking crazy!” Hange growled.

“Lieutenant, don’t do it!” Moblit said.

“Nat! Don’t!” Connie cried out.

“No! Nat!” Jean tried to fight against his captor.

“You’re not thinking clearly! Stop!” Sasha cried out.

“Listen to them!” Levi growled. His hand reached for the knife to snatch it off her hand, but she took a step away from him.

“Don’t try it, Levi, I’ll do it,” Nathalie said. She was serious. Her strong act wavered when she met his eyes. They were wide. Shocked. It was only a few times that she had seen Levi shocked. Frightened. _Desperate._ She wasn’t bluffing like he had hoped. He knew she was _insane_. She had done lots of things to prove it to him. But he wasn’t going to let her _self-destruct_.

“I can’t let you go, Nathalie,” Levi finally spoke out. Grey, the usually dead eyes now burned with emotion and shined with tears. “Not you, you hear me?!” Hands fisted. He wanted to touch her. Pull her into his arms and hold her and keep her safe. It was all that he ever wanted. Why wouldn’t she grant him that _one_ thing that he wanted? That _one_ thing that was bringing a smile to his face. _Why?!_ Did he have to watch her as she would leave him? Just like he had to watch his mother? _Why_ was it all so _goddamn unfair?!_

“I can’t let him kill them, Levi,” Nathalie’s voice trembled. “I’ll never be able to smile if I know they died for me,”

Finally, her act started breaking. Her own tears overflowed her lower eyelids and streamed down her cheeks. The hand that was holding the dagger against her wrist started shaking. She would never be able to sleep in the nights, knowing that those kids had died because of her. _No._ She didn’t want to feel it all all over again. It was just like when Furlan and Isabel died. It was just like when Oluo, Petra, Eld, and Gunther died. It was just like when Nanaba, Mike, Gelgar, Lynne and Henning died. She had lost _so much_ , and now she was going to lose Levi too.

 _It’s alright._ She’d at least know he’d be safe. He was safer without her. That was the bitter truth, and it always had been. She was a _weakness_ to him. The only person that their enemies would use to get to hurt him. _It’s time this ends_. Levi knew she didn’t want to be the reason that Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha and Connie would die. He knew those kids were important to her. _But she’s important to me too._

“I can’t let you die,” Levi repeated. “You made a promise,” A tear slipped down his cheek and he didn’t give a _single fuck_ if anybody was going to see it. Nathalie never broke her promises. She never did. _Why_ this time? Why did he have to lose her?! “You promised!” He shouted.

Nathalie sighed heavily. She had made a promise. It wasn’t a few minutes back when they talked about this. And now she was _breaking_ that promise. That one thing that he clung onto. She was hurting him. She knew those tears on his cheeks were because of her. He was mourning for her. She was going to die if she let them take her. She knew it. A tear slipped down her cheek as she watched him. _I’m so sorry._

“I can’t let you go, Nat,” Levi extended a hand forward for her to take it. She wanted to take it. She wanted it more than anything. But her body didn’t move one bit. There was chaos all around with Hange and Moblit, and the kids screaming at her to not give in. But Kenny had a smile. He knew she would give in. He knew her well enough.

She knew Levi wasn’t going to let her. Levi would gladly jump in her place if he could. She would do the same for him. She shook her head. No matter how long she stared at him, trying to create a good picture of him in her head, because she knew she would never be seeing him again, it still wasn’t enough. She never thought it would end like this, _so fast_. They hadn’t gotten to do anything. She had at least gotten to let him know that she loved him.

 _No._ That was worse. It was going to hurt even more now that he knew that. “I’m sorry,” Nathalie felt hands on her shoulders. She knew they were Kenny’s soldiers. She let go of the dagger and allowed them to tie her hands behind her back.

“NO!” Levi cried out. He went for the dagger, but Hange caught him. The kids caught him as well. They kept him in place. Kenny had taken the bargain as it seemed. He had let the kids go. He just wanted Nathalie. He just wanted that one person that mattered the most to him.

Levi cried out and fought against the tight hold of his comrades whilst he watched Nathalie being dragged away. And as if she had regretted it, her hand reached for him as well and she cried out his name and he cried out her own. It almost felt like a vital piece of him was being ripped away. And he was failing to protect her. Once again, he was being absolutely _useless_. He was failing. He was _useless._

“She doesn’t pull harsh bargains, does she?” Kenny chuckled before he and his men mounted their horses and they left with Nathalie drugged and thrown in a carriage.

 _I’m sorry._ Those were going to be her very last words to him. He was the one who should be sorry. He was the one who had let her. Levi collapsed on his knees. His body, too numb to move. They were going to kill her. They were going to hurt her. Just imagining her shouting in horror and pain, it made his whole body ache.

 _Despair._ He should’ve gotten used to that feeling after all this time. Fingers clenched painfully tight in his hair. Eyes remained widened as he stared blankly at the grass beneath him. That was it. He had lost it all. He had lost everything and everyone. He had lost a reason to live. _The only_ reason that he had. He looked at that dagger in his hands that she was previously holding, and he thought about stabbing it to his chest right then and there. It would end his suffering. It would end it all. It was just a simple, short move, that required no energy at all.

But Hange grasped the dagger away from his hand. Hange and Moblit and the kids were all around him, trying to say something that would put him out of the sorry state that he was in. He couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying. All that he could see was _her face_. The sorrow in her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks, and then, her last words to him. It wasn’t an _I love you._ It wasn’t a kiss. _I’m sorry._ Just that.

And now he was going to live the rest of his life knowing that she had died because of him. She had died and the only thing he had from her were a broken promise and just those two, _damned_ words.

_I’m sorry._


	45. Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem: WARNING! Mention of human torture, blood, and violence (of course, there would be, I'm guessing y'all have noticed how much I love drama) 😂😂
> 
> This chap is kinda depressing, I'm sorry y'all, I didn't include a scene with Levi cuz it's already kinda big and it'd just get bigger. No worries, tho, I've saved loooooootssss of Levi angst in the next two chapters ehehehehehe but I will be putting warnings there too cuz well-
> 
> You'll just have to wait to find out 😁
> 
> Thank you for your Kudos and your Comments!!! All this support really helps me going!
> 
> Enjoy! 😘
> 
> PS: _don't kill me_ 😅😈

_Thirty-six… thirty-seven… thirty-eight…_

_…thirty-nine… Forty._

The lashes came one by one. The questions came loud and demanding. _Where’s Johannes Burgess and Amelia Ksaver?_ Her father and her mother. She’d be damned if she knew. _What do you know about titan biology? Do you know how to turn titans back into humans? Did you figure it out?!_ Her lips just wouldn’t part and say anything, no matter how harsh the pain was. No matter how much blood was running out of the split skin of her back. _Whipping_ was the kind of torture that they would do to prisoners of high importance. She doubted they’d do it to Erwin.

Nathalie’s limp body was thrown on the hard stone floor of her cell. They had dragged her all the way there. There was no way she could walk. Not after all those burn marks and cuts and wounds and bruises. Nathalie stayed on the position that they had thrown her in. Her hands and feet, tied in chains. She couldn’t move much anyway. She was too beaten to move. Her whole body ached and bled. Her blood was making a mess on the floor, but she hardly had the energy to care.

She just stared at the iron bars of her cell. Her bruised cheek pressed painfully against the stone floor, but lying on her back wasn’t an option. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how her backside must have looked like.

Nathalie knew this was coming. She knew it when Sannes said this: _How long do you think you can avoid being tortured like this? They’re going to try everything on you to make you talk._ And he was right about his subordinates. It was the Interior Squad that had taken upon themselves to make her _speak_. _No._ She gritted her teeth. Fingers fisted in their restraints using the last portions of strength that she had left. She couldn’t believe humanity was doing this to her.

She had _fought_ for humanity. She had given it all _for humanity_. She had risked her life, again and again. She had stayed entire nights awake either in the labs, or dealing with nightmares and the pressure as a Scout. She had lost her friends. She had lost her squad, all for the sake of humanity _and for what?!_ To be tortured like this. To be punished just for trying to help _them_.

That injustice burned deep within her chest. It felt like a heated blade digging scars into her skin. If she hated her body before, now she wouldn’t even dare to look in the mirror. She couldn’t even begin to count how many new scars they had given her. But she’d never get to look again in any mirror anyway. She was going to die. After they’d be done trying to make her speak, and they would have nothing else to do, they were going to kill her, and she was never going to see Levi again.

_Levi…_

Tears were streaming down her cheeks before she even knew it. _Levi._ She remembered the look in his eyes while he screamed her name. When he told her _“You promised!”._ She’d never forget the betrayal in those grey pupils, filled with tears. She had hurt him. She had broken the promise that he had asked of her to make. She had promised to _never leave his side,_ but she did, and now she was going to die, and he was going to live knowing that it was _all his fault_.

A sob reached her throat. She didn’t want him to live in despair. She didn’t want him to live knowing that it was all his fault, but she knew him. She knew him well enough to say, that one day, or night, when he was alone, he was going to stab a knife into his chest, and _she was going to be the reason._ All that time, all those years they had spent them in each other’s side, and now, they were torn apart, and it hurt so _damn_ much, because that wasn’t the future that she wanted for him.

She wanted him to find someone that would actually keep their promises. Someone who wasn’t going to hurt him as much as she had. Someone _better._ He never deserved someone so _undeserving_ of him. She wasn’t enough. She _never had been._

Nathalie wept silently, there, in the dark, wallowing in guilt and self-pity. She was going to be the reason that Levi was going to suffer. She hated herself now more than any other time. What wouldn’t she give for the chance for him to hold her just once more? Just _once more._ She wanted to feel his arms around her. His warmth. His comfort. The safety. The reassurance. She could be slipping down the deepest hole of depression and misery, and self-disgust, but all that he’d have to do was hold her and he’d bring her back up.

But she was never going to be seeing him ever again. _Damn me._ She gritted her teeth. _Damn it all._ She had a reason for being _here_ and _now_. She had at least made sure her kids were going to be safe. They were going to be okay. Levi was going to keep them safe. But she was going to die, and he was going to suffer for that. Maybe she did deserve being beaten up like this after all. She deserved all forty of those lashes. She deserved the new scars dug to her skin by the heated blades of their daggers. The unruly punches and kicks that crushed on her weak body. _Yeah._ She deserved it all. 

“Nathalie?”

That was probably coming from her imagination. She wouldn’t be surprised if she was hallucinating. Not with all that blood loss. There was no way this was the Commander’s voice, and there was no way the Commander was there. There was no way Erwin was in that very same cell. _No._ She was alone, and miserable because she _deserved_ to be.

“Nathalie,”

But it came again, and she had to look up to make sure whether her ears were failing her or not. But he was there. Erwin was there, beaten up just as much as she was. His back, against the brick wall. His hands tied in chains, resting in his lap. Missing nails, just like her own. A swollen eye. Bleeding lips. His white shirt, drenched in blood, just like her own.

“C- Commander?”

She couldn’t believe it. He was actually there. She didn’t know what made her, but she tried to crawl towards him, even though her limbs ached. Her wounds burned. She grunted and struggled, but he helped her. Hands were still tied together, but he passed them around her over her head. Her own hands found his shirt, grasping tightly and dragging herself closer. His arms tightened around her and pulled her up against him with ease.

Nathalie found herself burying her face in his chest. Her fingers clenched around his shirt. Her body, so small in comparison, rested on top of his own. All that Erwin could do was look down at her bleeding back. The flawed skin where her shirt clung to the blood that streamed out. She was weak and trembling. Her skin, porcelain white from the blood loss. It hurt him more than he had realised.

It was night. It was dark, but the moonlight stole in through the one window in their cell. “T- They’ve got me, Erwin… I- I’m so sorry,” Nathalie wept against his chest and it broke his heart listening to her and watching her. It was all his fault. It was his fault that she was there, hurt and suffering. That she was being chased in the first place.

“No, it’s my fault,” Erwin said. His hands tightened around her, but careful. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He rested his chin on top of her head and he closed his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Nathalie,”

“I- It’s alright, Erwin, I-”

“I won’t let you die,” He cut her and she lifted her head up to look at him.

He hated watching her cheeks drenched in tears. Shiny bright blue eyes that matched his own, stared back in question. Her hair, a mess, but her face, beautiful. _Breathtaking_ even beaten up and messed like this. Even when she was crying. He felt a sudden urge to kiss her tears away, but he stopped himself. She wasn’t _his_. No matter how he was holding her now. With her small, weak, trembling body on top of his own, and her face in his chest, and her hands, grasped on his shirt. His own arms, around her. This was just a dream that was going to end really fast. She _wasn’t_ his. She could _never_ be.

But he pressed his forehead against her own. His breath brushed warm against her trembling lips. She barely knew what was _happening_ right now. But she had no energy to think. She just listened to him as he spoke. She just listened to the promises that he made. She barely knew why she wasn’t pushing him away _already._ Levi was somewhere _suffering_ right now, and she was allowing this man to hold her. _I am going to die anyway._

“I cannot let you die, Nathalie,” Erwin drew her attention. If Levi could make her smile, then _so be it_. He was alright with it. He didn’t care about his happiness and his life as much as he cared about her own. All that he had achieved was bring her pain and torture, and _maybe even death._ Erwin had brought death to a lot of his comrades. But _her too?_ It hurt so damn much. _No._ He wasn’t going to allow it. He was going to bring her back to Levi, and they could be happy, together. “You will go back to him. You’ll get to see Levi again. I’ll make sure of that,” He promised. “Or at least, I’m going to die trying,”

“No!” Nathalie’s fingers clenched around his shirt. Eyes widened in terror, and she had no idea why she had reacted that way. _Could I… No._ She was too tired to think now. Erwin was her Commander. He was important. She just shut her eyes and she buried her face back in his neck and she hated herself for that, but she was so tired. “You’re going to live. We’re both going to live. We’ll make it out of here,” She found she was only trying to convince herself, but Erwin still stared wide-eyed down at her.

 _Does she… No._ It was hopeless to think that she could ever… They had more pressing matters at hand. Their torturers would be back in just a few hours. They had to get some rest till then. _The body recovers greatly during sleep._ He reminded himself.

Erwin rested his cheek back on top of her head and he closed his eyes. “Sleep, Nathalie. You need rest,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

**Next Morning.**

Hange had been pacing around. Moblit couldn’t tell how long he stared at her as she cursed beneath her breath, and made a few stops to bang her head against the wall of a nearby building. They were hiding in a small street behind a large abandoned building.

 _Nathalie’s going to die… Nathalie’s going to die… Nathalie’s going to die… Nathalie’s going to die… Nathalie’s going to FUCKING DIE!_ “FUCK!” Hange kicked the soil harshly enough to make her leg hurt. She had the rest of her squad, making their preparations for her plan, and the only one there to watch her was Moblit.

“Hange! Try not to be too loud, please!” Moblit reminded her. They were still in hiding. MPs could detect them any moment.

“I don’t fucking care! I will split their fucking skulls open if I fucking have to!” Hange growled.

Moblit sighed. “I’m worried about Nathalie too-”

“No, I’m not just worried. I’m driven out of my fucking mind!” Hange growled again as she approached him and grabbed him by the shirt. “Useless! We were so _fucking_ useless, Moblit! Of course, that idiotic bitch was going to give herself in! But what about us?! What did we do, dammit?!”

 _Nothing._ Moblit sighed. He took her hands in his own. Maybe he should have done something. But they weren’t prepared for an attack like this. They weren’t prepared, they were caught off guard, and acting in the heat of the moment wasn’t a good plan either.

“Shit. That wasn’t in the plan, Moblit. That wasn’t in the plan, if it was, we would’ve known that we’d be-”

“Hange,” Moblit cut her and she finally looked up at him. She had tried to pull away, but his fingers were tight around her wrists, keeping her in place. “We’ll save her. Give me the word and I’ll go find her,” He barely had any idea what he was saying. He barely knew how he’d do that, but he was going to do anything to make Hange fill a little less _guilty_.

Hange looked up at him, caught by surprise. She wasn’t expecting him to suggest that. Still, “No! It’s too dangerous to go on your own,”

“The only dangerous thing I see here is leaving _you_ unsupervised,” Moblit teased and Hange almost laughed. He felt proud of that.

She groaned and finally pulled her hands away from his. “Alright. Say I give the order. How are you going to do it?”

Moblit took a moment to think. “She’s probably in Mitras right now. I bet she’s being tortured and kept as a prisoner in the cells of the Interior Police’s Headquarters,”

“That’s probably correct. How do you plan to get there? Not everybody can pass through the Capital. Especially us. The Scouts are basically considered criminals now,” Hange said.

“But if everything goes smoothly with the plan, then the coup will be successful, and all that’d be left to do is to take her out of there,” Moblit said.

Hange realised he was right. If she remembered correctly, Erwin was going to be brought in front of the king in just a few hours, to have his last words before his execution. Hange smiled.

“Alright. After Flegel makes those stupid MPs confess, and after the government is overthrown, we head straight to the Capital,” 


	46. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! There's pain, blood and violence and lots of blood _yes, I'm aware I'm repeating myself ehehehe_ 😈😅
> 
> There's lots of Levi angst!!! And who knows what happens eheheheheheh 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support and all those Kudos and Comments!! It's so nice to know how you guys feel about my story so far, and I'm glad to know most of you are okay with the love triangle, which honestly, I've no idea where it's going but it's sure as hell going somewhere 🤣🤣🤣
> 
> Thank you for reading! Enjoy! ❤
> 
> PS: _Don't kill me eheheheheh_ 😅😈

The door snapped open and people barged in. Nathalie’s body tensed. _No, no, no, no… not again._ She didn’t want to get dragged in the torture room again. She didn’t want to go through this all over. Her fingers clenched around Erwin’s shirt, clinging onto the only person who could save her. The only person who could keep her safe. Her eyes widened as she met his own. His own eyes widened too. His hands tightened around her. He didn’t want to let go of her either.

“Erwin!” She cried out as the soldiers of the Interior Squad tore her away from him and forced them both back on their feet.

 _No._ She realised, she wasn’t scared about getting tortured. She was scared about Erwin getting hanged. Her body still ached. Her wounds were still open but the bleeding had stopped. Every move that she made was to her disadvantage, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care the least. She couldn’t let them kill him. She couldn’t lose this man. She didn’t know why, but… _No… Erwin’s my Commander. He’s important._ She tried to fight against her guards as the others dragged Erwin back on his feet, and led him out of the cell. No matter the pain, she fought against the guards that were keeping her restrained. She groaned in pain and frustration.

“NO! Erwin!”

Erwin fought against his own guards, just to approach her. He caught her chin between his fingers. His hands, still tied in front of him, but he gave her a reassuring smile. He pressed a kiss on her forehead that caught her by surprise but strengthened her somehow.

“Everything’s going to be okay… we’ll make it out of here, Nathalie… _you’ll_ make it out of here… I promise-”

“Get moving!” The soldiers kicked him hard in the stomach and Erwin coughed harshly. His whole body folded in pain. Nathalie hated so much watching him in pain, but there was nothing that she could do. She felt useless.

A tear slipped down her cheek as she watched Erwin being dragged out of the cell. _No… so,_ so _useless._ Before she even knew it, they had dropped her limb body back on the floor and they started punching and kicking. Most kicks landed on her belly, as if on purpose. It brought excruciating pain in her abdomen. Nathalie screamed. Her hands tried to shield her belly, but they kicked her hands away.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. _Why were they doing this?!_ They hadn’t even asked any questions. What were they trying to achieve by putting her in pain like that? She was lying in a pool of her own blood before she even knew it. The pain in her abdomen, _immense_. Fingers clutched around the bruised flesh of her lower belly. Her blood, running out and soaking her pants and the floor beneath her. It wasn’t supposed to be so much. The pain wasn’t supposed to be so much either.

“I think we killed _it_ ,” One of the guards said to the other. Nathalie couldn’t move. She couldn’t begin to think what they were talking about. _I think we killed it._ She was pregnant, _wasn’t she?_ The _vomiting_ , the _dizziness_. She had thought of the possibilities of being pregnant, but she never got the time to check it out. She didn’t want to believe it.

And just like that the pain started to subside, replaced by emotional pain instead. Worse than the physical. _Far worse._ She had been carrying Levi’s child all along. They hadn’t been careful. They didn’t want to be. Or at least, she thought as much. She didn’t even try to start crying. Nathalie _laughed._ She laughed like she hadn’t laughed before. A combination of blood and saliva slipped down her lips as she pressed her hands on the floor trying to force her body to stand up, ignoring the blood that covered her waist down. The iron taste of blood had been in her mouth all night.

Crying or laughing no longer made a difference. She had no idea what to think. How to feel. She had no idea whether she should just let herself go insane or stand idle and keep _taking it_. It was still _funny_ though. She had just lost her child. She had lost all chances of ever seeing Levi again. She had lost her Commander. And all just because she was trying to help _humanity_. She was so _damn_ stupid for trying.

Trying to save the _unsaved._ It was _hilarious._

“Huh?” The men looked down at her surprised. Having the prisoner to start laughing like this after being beaten up like that, was the last thing that they expected. It was a miracle she had managed to stand up. She kicked the one, harshly enough to make him lose his balance and drop on the floor. The other pulled out a rifle, but Nathalie elbowed him harshly enough to knock a tooth out. She grabbed the rifle with her tied hands, and she planted a bullet in the other man’s head.

The other man passed his hand around her neck from behind. Nathalie grunted as she knocked him against the wall with a cry of pain and frustration. She stepped on his foot harshly with her own. She elbowed him hard in the stomach and before he even knew it, she had passed the chains of her hands around his neck. Nathalie groaned as she put all the strength that she had into choking the panicked man to death.

The man gasped for air and dropped to his knees. His hands reached for the chains, trying to pull them off, but her strength greatly overpowered him and she didn’t even know why. She didn’t _fucking_ care. She was going to kill this man, even if it was the last thing that she was going to do. She straddled him. Her knee pressed against his back. His face pressed against the harsh, stone floor.

“ _Cowards_ … you kill an unborn child…” She growled against his ear. His body shook like a helpless fish. She enjoyed every bit of those gasps, and squirming sounds that he made. “…I’ll make sure to go to hell… just to watch _you_ _burn_ ,”

The man’s body stopped shaking, and finally his final breaths were knocked out of him. His muscles loosened. A dead body, limp beneath her. Nathalie fell back. Body rested against the rough brick wall. Her blood had started drying off on the floor. Pain radiated from her abdomen, reminding her what had just happened. It took a moment for her to fully realise it. The blood in her hands, in her thighs, on her clothes. The blood of her child.

She hadn’t realised it. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She had lost _it_. She had lost it from nothing but her sheer _stupidity_. If she hadn’t given herself in that night, that wouldn’t be happening now. If she hadn’t given in, then a moment would come when she was going to hold her baby in her arms. _No._ Her kids would be dead if she hadn’t. But now, hers and Levi’s child was gone, and she was never going to get the chance to hold it, and it was all _her_ fault. If only she knew it. _Who am I kidding?!_ Even if she had known, she would still sacrifice herself and her child for the others. _That_ stupid she was.

Nathalie let out a loud cry of pain and exasperation. Her hands clutched on her belly. The loss, too big to handle. She could handle losing friends, family… even _Levi_. But _this._ How could she hope to deal with _this?_ It was her fault.

“I’m so sorry, Levi…” she choked out between sobs. Blood-red hands found her face. Fingers dug in her hair. “…I’m so sorry,” she repeated, even though she knew nobody was going to hear her. Nobody was coming to her rescue. Levi wasn’t there. She was alone, in a room with two more corpses. Men who had just obeyed orders from their _scum_ superiors. But it was still _her_ fault. She wasn’t a mother, but she was failing as one _already_.

She could never face Levi after this. She wouldn’t even tell him. At least, she didn’t plan to. But he’d find out. She could never lie to him. She spent the last two days wishing she could be with him, and now she didn’t want to. How could she face him now?

Strong arms picked her up and snapped her back to reality. She hadn’t realised somebody had unlocked the chains from around her hands and feet. Her wrists burned, but not as much as her belly. Her entire attention focused on the pain. She hadn’t even realised Hange was there. She looked up. Moblit was the one holding her. Nathalie felt instant relief washing over her. She closed her eyes. Head rolled back in exhaustion from the blood loss.

“Nat… NAT!” Hange finally drew her attention. “We’ve got you. Everything’s going to be alright. You just need to do me a favour and stay awake! Stay awake, dammit!” Hange shouted alarmed. They were moving now. _No-_ they were _running_. _Hastily_. Hange turned at Moblit. Eyes, wide in alarm. “Moblit, we need to take her to a hospital. Fast! She’s going to bleed out!” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

**Same night.**

He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t eat. But he had to _lead_. He had his _brats_ to take care of. If he didn’t keep them safe, then Nathalie giving herself in would have been for nothing. Levi stopped thinking. He had to _shut her out_. He was never going to see her again. But how does one shut out the most important person in their life?

_How?!_

Levi stared blankly in the distance. His back against a tree trunk. His brats, all around him, sleeping in their sleeping bags. They had lost their cheery attitude. They’d barely talk, and if they would, it would only be for the sake of discussing their plans of survival. The Scouts were being chased and were on the run, but they found decent cover in the woods outside Stohess.

Those kids from the Military Police. Hitch and Marlow had helped them find a member of the Interior Police. They had tied him to a tree. Levi could beat him just fine with his boots. But he did not forget the conversation that he had with the guy.

_“Where did they take Eren, Historia, and Nathalie?” Levi asked._

_“You bastards… you think you’re so brave… that post was kept by recruits. They barely even knew how to wipe their own asses. No one’s gonna think you’re heroes for beating them down,”_

_“Yeah, the guilt’s tearing me apart,” Levi said sarcastically before he stuffed his boot in the man’s mouth. “What really gets me is this mouth of yours. I’m gonna suggest that you start talking while you’re still able to use it,” Levi pulled his foot back, before kicking him hard across the face. He was tired of this. He grabbed the man by the shirt, lifting him up like a feather, and he knocked him hard against the tree. “Nathalie Burgess,” He growled. “Where did they take her?!”_

_The man coughed harshly. “Burgess… the Outsider. She’s not meant to be here. She’s too dangerous to be allowed to live. My subordinates will have already disposed of her. Even if you find her, it’ll only be her corpse-”_

_The man screamed in pain. Now, Levi had him facing the tree trunk, and he had snapped his arm broken. He wasn’t going to hold back now. He snapped the wrist broken too and the man screamed again._

_“That’s right. That’s what you get for not answering my question,” Levi said. His face, dead as always, but his heart hammered against his chest in a maddening pace. He didn’t want to believe she was dead. “Some Scouts’ lives are more valuable than others. Only those dumb enough agree to join us,” Levi left the man to collapse on his knees. This was getting on his nerves. “Again, where did they take Eren, Historia, and Nathalie?!”_

_“I- I don’t know! Nobody told me, I swear! Kenny Ackerman doesn’t like to make his business known!”_

_Levi raised an eyebrow. Ackerman was Mikasa’s last name, wasn’t it? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know how they might be related. All those years, and only now was he learning the man’s last name. “Ackerman. I know Kenny. Is that his last name?”_

_“It is!”_

_Levi frowned. Kenny Ackerman knew of Nathalie’s origins too. He groaned. “He never was one of sharing much information. Not important stuff anyway. But I bet you have a rough idea. You best try to remember,” Levi grabbed his other hand._

_The man squirmed. “No! Stop-”_

_“You still have plenty of bones left for me to break,”_

_“Dammit! Are you insane?!”_

_That was a funny question. Here he thought Nathalie was insane. After all those years he spent with her, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was insane too. “Maybe,”_

The man didn’t speak anyway. Levi made sure he’d blow his head off when the kids weren’t watching. Still, he couldn’t forget his words. _She’s not meant to be here. She’s too dangerous to be allowed to live. My subordinates will have already disposed of her. No._ His hand found his forehead that burned with pain. He didn’t want to think of that. Could she really be dead? Could he have lost her? Just like everyone else?

He couldn’t forget her face. The tears that streamed down her cheeks as she shouted his name whilst she was being taken away from him. It had been two days. Two days were enough time to _kill_ _her_. Levi buried his face in his hands. Just _breathing_ got harder than before. What was he going to do if she was dead? What was he going to do without her?! _How could she?! How_ could she break her promise?! Nathalie never broke her promises. At least, not the ones that he had asked of her to make.

The pain stung in his chest, in his eyes. Tears gathered in his lower eyelids again. There was no point in crying silently there in the dark. There was no point in _mourning_. He knew this was going to happen one way or another. He knew the day would come when he’d have to lose her, just like he had lost _everyone_ else. He could never have this _normality_ that he longed for. A family. A _wife_. He wanted to make her his wife. He wanted to have a family with her, in a peaceful world. Their world was _anything_ but peaceful. He couldn’t have that. He couldn’t have _happiness_.

 _Happiness is just not meant for some people._ He reminded himself once more and gritted his teeth painfully. _Nathalie…_

_“I love you, Nat,”_

_“I love you too, Levi,”_

No one was ever going to respond the same way. No one would be able to mimic her touch. Her kisses. The soft strokes of her fingers in his hair whenever she’d hold him. He had lost her just like he had lost everyone else. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t even understand how he was keeping that same dead expression on his face. It fooled everyone. The act that he put up, and the _mask_ that had his feelings covered behind, it fooled everyone _but her_.

She was the only one who knew. And he had lost her, and it was all his fault. He should have fought. He shouldn’t just stand and stare at her whilst she threatened to take her life. She wasn’t going to do it. Or maybe _she was_. Sometimes he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. She knew him too well, but he could never say the same about her. She was always _unpredictable_.

He couldn’t even understand how he was sitting there, _idle_. Not doing anything. He had no answers. He had no leads. He had no idea where she was and what was happening to her now. She was being tortured. She was being hanged. It was one or the other. And he was so useless, he couldn’t do anything about it. He hated himself at this moment more than ever.

He stopped thinking of these when he heard something. He jumped to his feet. “Get up, we got company,” Levi said to the kids, who jumped off their sleep right away. They reached for their rifles but they calmed down when they realised it was Hange and Moblit.

“It’s just us,” Hange said as she and Moblit lifted their hands in surrender. “Erwin’s plan worked. The coup was a success. The government withdrew all charges against the Survey Corps. In short, the Scouts are no longer considered criminals,”

The kids cried out in excitement. They started jumping around and hugging each other screaming happily. It almost made Levi smile. But he turned at Hange, with a look of hope in his eyes.

“What about Nat?!” Levi asked worriedly. “Did you find her? Where is she? Is she okay?!”

Hange and Moblit did not answer his question. They exchanged a look first, but still, no one felt like saying _it_. Levi noticed the hesitation. His heart hammered against his chest. Eyes widened. Levi grabbed Hange by the shirt.

“Tell me, dammit! Is she okay?!” He growled.

Hange still couldn’t find the words. She only shook her head, and it drove Levi insane. 


	47. "I lost it,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! The ultimate angsty chapter that I've been waiting sooooo longggg to post! Recommended Song: "The Other Side" by Ruelle (she's a goddess omfg 😩).
> 
> Lemme know if you like it! Thanks for all those Kudos and all those Comments and all that amazing support! You guys are the reason I continue writing this fic _and of course, Levi's hotness too is to blame for this fic I LOVE HIM SO DAMN MUCH OMFGWKJEVOH-_ 😩😩😩 *clears throat*
> 
> Enjoy! 😘

Levi rushed towards the room that the doctor had pointed him to in the Hospital of Trost, but Hange got in the way before he had the chance to enter. She pulled his hand away from the doorknob and she shut the door again. Levi couldn’t care less about why Hange wasn’t letting him in. He didn’t give a shit about what she was about to say. Nathalie was in there. She was in there, and he _needed_ to see her.

“Wait! You need to give her some time-” Hange tried to say, but he cut her.

“She’s alive, isn’t she?! Get out of my way!” Levi growled grabbing Hange by the shirt.

“Please, Levi,” Hange said. Both hands found his shoulders. She sighed. She hadn’t told him. Nathalie wouldn’t want her to tell him. “She doesn’t want to see you right now,”

The words felt like daggers stabbing right through his heart. _Why?! Why wouldn’t she want to see me?_ Hange hadn’t given any details. She hadn’t said anything. She just reassured him that Nathalie was alive, but she didn’t seem happy about that. She just said they had taken her in a hospital in Trost, and that she was recovering. But there was something more to it, and he wanted to find out. Something serious had happened to Nathalie and it drove him insane not knowing what that was.

He didn’t care whether she wanted to see him or not. He only cared about making sure that she was okay. Levi pushed Hange out of the way, and he barged in the room anyway.

“No! Wait-” Hange tried to say but Levi snapped the door closed. Hange tried to get in and pull him out, but Moblit stopped her. Moblit’s hand found its way around her waist, urging her back to crush against his chest and Hange groaned smacking his hand. “Let me go, Moblit!”

“They need to talk,” Moblit said and she turned and looked at him. “He has a right to know,”

Hange sighed heavily. A hand reached for her goggles, pushing them on her forehead and she rubbed her tired eyes beneath. Moblit was right. She had to admit. That was a problem that Levi and Nathalie could only talk through with each other.

“I know…” Hange admitted. “…I just wanna be there for her as a friend,”

Moblit’s hand slipped around her shoulders. He gave her a smile and he opened his mouth to speak, but Hange spoke first when she turned around and looked at the kids.

“Wait! Where are you kids going?” She asked as she watched Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Connie and Sasha leaving.

They stopped halfway the hall. “We’re going at Jean’s to make an omelette,” Connie answered and Hange raised an eyebrow.

“Five people to make an omelette?” Hange asked, crossing her hands against her chest.

“It’s gonna be one hell of an omelette,” Jean smirked.

“Nathalie’s been taking care of us when were bedridden,” Mikasa explained. She shrugged. “It’s time we do the same,”

Hange and Moblit did not try to fight their smiles back. “Alright, kids. Moblit and I will go find where Eren and Historia are. Once we find out, we depart immediately. Let your Captain know when he comes out,”

The kids saluted her. “Yes, ma’am!” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Levi found himself hesitant. He smelled blood. She had lost blood. She was probably still haemorrhaging. Her body, folded. Fingers had been clutching on her lower belly. He could tell she was crying and weeping. It broke his heart watching her. He had never seen her cry so much. He had never seen her in pain like this. Nathalie was always the strongest-looking one. She was always the one to pull _him_ in a hug and comfort _him_ , and speak to him logically and make him feel better. But now, the vulnerable one was _her_.

He knew they had tortured her, and the marks in her hands were pretty much visible the closer he got. But she didn’t care to cover them beneath the bedsheets. She only cared about clutching and trying to stop the excruciating pain in her abdomen. She buried her face in her pillow. Her whole body, tense as she squirmed and winced and wept in pain. He hated the sight of her like this. His heart, beating alarmingly fast.

He hurried and he sat beside her on the bed. She needed him now. She needed him more than ever. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to do anything to make her feel better. But she turned her head away from him when she saw him. “N- No! L- Leave me alone, Levi, please… not now…”

His hand found her face. He cupped her cheek and she sighed slightly leaning against his fingers. No matter what she was saying, she didn’t want him to leave. But she didn’t want to face him either. “You’re in pain… I’ll call for the doctor, hang on,” Levi set off to leave right away but she stopped him. She caught his hand.

“No, the… doctor just left,” Nathalie choked out.

Levi lied beside her, on top of the bedsheets and he cupped her cheek. He looked down at her. An expression of pain twisted across the muscles of her face. He hated it. But he couldn’t understand. If the doctor had just treated her, why was she in pain? _What the fuck’s going on?! What the fuck did they do to her?!_ He felt anger raging through him, but he forgot all about it when Nathalie’s hands reached for his shirt. Trembling fingers tightened around the soft fabric and she tugged him closer.

He tried to comply to her wish by slipping beneath the bedsheets, but she stopped him again. “No! J- Just hold me,”

What was she trying to hide? Levi could not remember being so worried about something in his _entire_ life. He lifted the bedsheets only to reveal the bloodstained, ruined towels that had been laid beneath her body. Her white gown too was covered in red around the area that she had been clutching onto. His eyes widened.

“Nat… you’re bleeding,” He said alarmingly.

Nathalie just buried her face in his neck. “I know. This is how… it’s supposed to be… let it be,” She clutched onto him and she wept in his neck. The morphine was doing _fucking nothing._ She winced against his skin. Eyes shut tightly. Voice trembled, as tears gathered in her eyes. She had handled the most painful injuries, but this… _this_ was something else. “…God… it hurts _so much_ …”

Levi couldn’t take it anymore. He was _terrified._ He had never seen her like this. He had no idea what to do to help. He trapped her chin between two fingers and he urged her to look up at him. He wished he hadn’t. He hated so much to watch her cry. He hated so much to watch her drenched cheeks. He’d do anything to stop her from crying. To stop the pain, the bleeding. _Anything_. He’d find whoever had done this to her and he was going to rip them apart. Rage boiled beneath his chest. He was going to make them wish they’d never been born. But he _needed_ to know.

“What happened? What did they do to you? Nat, please, tell me,” _Please._ She was the only person he would ever _beg_. He just _needed_ to know. He pressed his forehead against her own. His hand reached for a strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. The tip of his nose met her own. His fingers clenched in her hair and he shut his eyes. “ _Please_ , tell me,”

Nathalie just buried her face back in his neck. She couldn’t look at him. She didn’t want to see the look of _disgust_ and _disapproval_ on his face. She didn’t want to push him away, because telling him this, it would probably _push him away_. Yet again, she didn’t know. She had no idea how he was going to react. She was scared. She was terrified of the man who brought her such relief when his arms slipped around her. He held her tight, and she knew she did not deserve this. She did not deserve _him_. It was all her fault.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

A calloused thumb found her cheek, wiping her tears away. He buried his face in her hair and he shut his eyes. “Stop crying, Nat, just please-”

“I lost it,”

His eyes shot open. He couldn’t even begin to think of what she meant by that. Suddenly it all started making sense. The bleeding. Her hands clutching painfully on her belly. The crying. The mess that she was right now. His hand stopped caressing her back and he found himself staring blankly at a random spot in the room. He didn’t know what to say. Part of him hoped she meant something else. Part of him hoped that she meant anything but _this._ But then she repeated it.

“O- Our…” she wept in his neck. “…I didn’t even know I was… I didn’t know, I swear!”

He believed her. If she knew, she’d tell him. She’d let him know. They never kept secrets from each other, especially if they were as important as _this_. She wouldn’t risk her life like this if she knew. Still, he looked shocked at his hands, and then down at her trembling body. He was going to become a _father_. He was going to have a child of his own with _her_ , the woman that he loved. His hand found her belly. He touched gently, afraid of hurting her but trying to believe that for a moment there was life inside. And that life they had both created it. She had lost it, but he’d never blame her. It wasn’t her fault. He only had himself to blame for letting her go that night.

But he had never thought of this before. He had never thought he’d have someone. He never thought he could love somebody _so much_ to have a child with them. He _wanted_ this. He wanted it more than he had realised. A wife and children and family and _peace._ All these required a _peaceful_ world. He was already too overwhelmed with trying to protect Nathalie and his squad. He couldn’t have a son or a daughter now. _Not yet._ But he _wanted_ to.

But he was still shocked about this. “I was… I was going to become a father…” He never thought he wanted this so much. He was actually sad that they had lost that chance.

“I’m so sorry…”

Nathalie was suffering and she was in pain because of _him_. The guilt weighed heavy on his chest. He cupped her face and urged her to look at him. He could tell she was scared. She was frightened. She was trembling. He didn’t want that. He hated watching her like this.

He leaned in and pressed kisses on her cheeks, her nose, her chin, her forehead, around her lips. Nathalie sighed in relief. The trembling slightly stopped. He caught her eyes with his own and he cupped her face making sure he had her attention.

“After we retake Wall Maria, I’m going to make you my wife, and we’ll have another one,”

Her eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting him to say this. She was expecting him to say _anything_ but _this_. It brought her relief. Even though the pain was still intense in her belly, her muscles relaxed. Her hand reached for his face cupping his cheek.

“Levi… I- I…”

“This is probably the worst time to ask this, but…” Levi took her hand in his and he kissed her knuckles. “…Nathalie Burgess, will you marry me?”

She couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t believe he was proposing to her. After hurting him like that. After she had broken her promise and she had taken the life of his child because of her selflessness. How could he still want her after all this?

“Yes,” The response just flew out of her lips before she even realised it. Even in pain, she was smiling. Her eyes brightened. He got to see that smile on her lips.

He dove in and trapped those perfect lips in his own. His tongue penetrated her mouth and crushed against her own, showing her just how much he had missed her. His hands tightened around her. He brought her closer. She let out a small wince at the sudden movement and he broke the kiss just to make sure she was okay. She was still bleeding. It made his heart ache, but he had her. He was holding her. She was safe now. She was going to be okay. He was going to make her his wife. _Provided we survive this,_ he reminded himself. _No._ He was going to _make sure_ that _she_ would.

“I thought I had lost you,” Levi said admittedly. The tip of his nose brushed against her own. His breath brushed warm against her wet lips. His fingers clutched around her clothes.

She gave him _that_ smile. The smile that made everybody melt. “You know you can’t get rid of me that easy,”

He smirked. “I _can’t_ ,” He leaned and caught her lips again, but he kept it brief. “We’re going to find the bastards who killed our child, and we’re not just going to kill them,” He promised her and she chuckled.

She couldn’t believe he had made her chuckle while being in pain like this. “No worries… I killed them instantly,”

He smirked. Even being in pain like this, she had taken out the lives of two well-trained men. She was _marvellous._ “Of course, you did,” He leaned to kiss her again, but something interrupted them.

It was the door snapping open and Jean landing on top of Sasha’s body. Connie stumbled on top of Jean, and the tray that Jean had in his hands, went flying in the air. Armin dove right in to save it, only to be knocked down by Sasha’s hand that blocked his feet.

“NO!” Jean cried out.

“Somebody, save the omelette!” Connie cried out alarmingly.

Thankfully, Mikasa was fast enough to grab it, with moves that Nathalie had only seen on someone else before. _Levi._ She raised an eyebrow. _Damn._ All the kids let out sighs of relief. They finally stood up from the pile of bodies that they had created. Levi sighed.

“What were you five doing outside the door?” Levi asked, even though he knew the answer.

“We weren’t eavesdropping!” Sasha cried out and everybody groaned.

“Oh c’mon!” Jean groaned in irritation.

“Sasha, you blew it!” Connie frowned.

“What?! I said we _weren’t!”_ Sasha said to her defense.

Mikasa handed the dish to Jean and she helped Armin back up on his feet. Levi frowned deeply. The kids had probably heard _everything._ “Two weeks of house cleaning once we get Eren and Historia back,” He said and the kids groaned in irritation.

“Oh c’mon!”

“Jeez, Captain, we didn’t hear anything!”

“I told you, we _weren’t_ eavesdropping!”

“It’s alright, kids, he didn’t mean it,” Nathalie said reassuringly as she placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder and he just frowned a little bit more.

“ _Four_ weeks,” Levi added only to receive a smack on his shoulder by Nathalie.

“OH GOD NO!”

“Please, CAPTAIN!”

“We weren’t trying to-”

Mikasa cleared her throat, interrupting their whining and reminding them why exactly they were here. Jean looked down at the omelette in his hands and he let out an exclamation.

“Oh right,” Jean turned at Sasha and Connie who had finished picking up the tray and the knife and fork that had landed on the floor after their incurable clumsiness. They settled the dish and the fork and knife back on the tray before Jean placed the tray on Nathalie’s lap.

Nathalie couldn’t believe it. Had they actually made an omelette for her to eat? She remembered Sasha talking about how the _omelettes_ were the _only tragic thing in Jean’s life,_ and now Nathalie really wanted to hear the story behind that.

“Thought I’d make you my special dish,” Jean smirked.

“He means _the only_ dish he knows how to cook,” Sasha commented and Jean turned and shot her a glare.

“The only thing _you_ know how to cook is MEAT!” Jean threw back.

Sasha shrugged. “Duh. If you know how to cook meat, you don’t need to know how to cook anything else,”

Jean groaned. Armin raised a hand, catching their attention. “Actually, we all contributed to making that omelette,”

“Hell yeah, we did. Jean’s idea, but _we_ made it happen,” Connie pointed his thumb at himself proudly.

Nathalie tried her best not to cry. Just seeing that they tried to look after her, it made her forget the pain in her belly and whatever else had taken place the last two days. Those kids were worth all the pain. _No,_ they were worth the _entire world_. She lifted her hands forward for a hug.

“Come over here!” And they did. Connie and Sasha settled around her on her bed, pushing Levi away. Levi frowned visibly. She passed her hands around Sasha’s and Connie’s shoulders, right after she made sure she gave Jean a tight hug. “Thank you so much!” She squeezed them both and they buried their faces in her shoulders.

“C’mon, try it!” Jean said impatiently, as he sat beside Connie on her bed.

“Alright, alright,” Nathalie stopped hugging the other two and she searched for her knife and fork, only to look up and see Levi rubbing them clean with his handkerchief. They had fallen over the floor, there was no way he’d let her use them if he didn’t make sure they were clean enough.

“Here,” Levi finally handed them to her and she gave him a wide smile.

“Thanks, Levi!”

“Tsk,” He watched her as she consumed the omelette hungrily and she kept praising the kids about how good it was. He realised, he had no idea how to make an omelette. _No,_ he didn’t know _shit_ about cooking. It was always her the one who would cook, so he never really had to learn.

“We’re here!” Hange announced as she and Moblit walked in. “We know where the kids are, and…” she pulled out from her bag a syringe. She tapped it with her finger and readied it for injection. “…I brought you what you asked for, Nat. It worked wonders on the Commander,” she took out another box. “New glasses too,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Hange was right. The serum did work _wonders._ Although, it was risky. Merging titan spinal fluid with Eren’s titan spinal fluid, in theory, it was supposed to heal, but help the body keep its human form. The theory was proven on Erwin first. He had offered and Hange had injected him earlier that day. Erwin was gathering the entirety of the Scout Regiment from the Capital to help them in the rescue mission.

Levi, of course, had declined to take Nathalie to that rescue mission. But after seeing how that serum closed all wounds on her body and stopped the bleeding as if it had never happened, it changed his mind. He couldn’t believe she had actually figured this out. Hange and Moblit had greatly helped too. The three of them made a good team.

Still, the scars did not disappear from her body, but Nathalie made sure she’d cover them with a long-sleeved white shirt. She wore black pants and black boots. She had put on her ODM and she was ready to fight. It was remarkable to think of the possibilities of that serum. If they produced enough of that, then they could arrange Expeditions and return with almost no casualties at all. It was _ground-breaking._

But they had more urgent matters at hand. They were on their way to the Reiss’s Chapel in Wall Rose, nearby Orvud District. The kids were ready to fight. Hange, Levi, Moblit and Nathalie had come up with a plan. Hange’s Squad was with them as well. Fighting Kenny and his own team armed in anti-personnel ODM gear, was going to be a pain. Thankfully, Levi and Nathalie knew Kenny and therefore they knew how to act.

Levi, Nathalie, Hange, Mikasa, and Moblit had settled on a cart. Night had arrived. The kids were riding on their horses all around with torches in their hands to light their way. 

“You should understand,” Levi started. “This is Kenny the Ripper. If he’s there, he’s our biggest obstacle. In terms of his threat level, it’s like you’ll be fighting me. Or wait… with those weapons of his, he’ll be stronger,”

“Then he’s unbeatable!” Sasha said.

“Maybe we should wait to meet other soldiers,” Connie said.

“No chance in hell,” Mikasa frowned. They had waited _long enough_.

“Right! Of course, not,” Connie said. “If we wait for reinforcements, Eren might get eaten,” He reminded himself.

“You know, based on what the Captain just told us, the odds won’t be entirely in Kenny’s favour,” Armin said, turning to look at the other four that were sitting on the cart that he was driving.

“You really think so?” Jean asked.

“Yeah,” Armin nodded turning at Jean. “His squad is well trained, but we have way more combat experience,”

“That’s true,” Nathalie added. “As Scouts, we fight titans. Fighting humans should be a piece of cake,”

“I have to ask,” Hange turned at Nathalie and Levi. “How is it you two were raised by Kenny and you know next to nothing about him? Did you guys never talk?”

“He wasn’t the _perfect_ father, I’ll tell you that,” Nathalie frowned.

Levi frowned as well and he crossed his hands against his chest. “He wasn’t. I only just learned his last name. I don’t know if you’ve heard but it’s Ackerman,”

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “Ackerman?! But that’s-”

“Exactly,” Levi turned at Mikasa who was sitting between Moblit and Hange. “Might be a relative of yours,”

“I remember my parents saying that… my dad’s side, the Ackermans were persecuted when they lived in the Cities,” Mikasa started “My mom said her ancestors were Eastern. Her family’s appearance made it difficult for them to fit in. Both of the groups were chased deep in the mountains near the edge of the walls. That’s how my parents met. But my father never told me why the Ackermans were persecuted. He looked the same as all of you, so I don’t think he was of a different race,”

“They’re not,” Nathalie said. Her hand found her forehead as an intense headache came to her. She winced and Levi’s hand found her shoulder right away. It was all coming back to her. Memories that weren’t her own. Her eyes widened.

“What’s wrong?” Levi asked worriedly.

Nathalie gave him a reassuring smile before she turned at Mikasa. “Mikasa, have you ever felt a… power awaken inside you?” she asked.

Mikasa gasped. A realisation struck her. “I have…”

“This has happened for Kenny Ackerman as well,” Levi said. “Suddenly, out of nowhere, he felt an absurd amount of energy surging through him, and in that moment, he knew just what he needed to do. And it’s happened to me too. Makes me wonder…”

“You’re related,” Nathalie said and they all stared at her confusedly.

 _People screaming, tied in their restraints, begging for help. Human experimentation._ Memories came to her all at once. _Scientists in white robes, with notebooks in their hands_. Something told her she knew those people. _No._ She was _related_ to those people. She was watching _their_ memories.

“The Ackerman Clan… is a product of titan and human experimentation. Its members possess… unnatural strength, implanted knowledge of a specific style of combat. Fast recovering tissue unlike no other… they can choose their master and serve them with unwavering loyalty,” Nathalie had no idea she knew all this. It felt like back in the lab all over again. Knowledge just showed up in her mind out of nowhere. Maybe she could indeed recall the knowledge and watch the memories of her forefathers.

“How do you know?” Mikasa asked confusedly.

Nathalie pulled her hand away from her forehead and she looked up at Mikasa. “It is because… under direct orders from the King… the Burgess Family _created_ them,”


	48. Eren and Historia's Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go with some plot and Nathalie being a badass 😩 I will not quench your thirst for answers just yet ehehehe but it's alright! I shall keep y'all interested to find out the true origins of the Burgess Family but _not just yet_ 😈
> 
> Thank you all so much for the awesome support and all those amazing comments and kudos!! It really helps me continue this story! 
> 
> Recommended OST: "K21" by Hiroyuki Sawano from the OST Album of Attack on Titan Season 3 (it's the actual soundtrack that plays during the battle beneath the Reiss Chapel and I've been listening to it while writing it) 😍
> 
> Enjoy! 😘

“Found it. A hidden door. Historia and Eren should be inside. Hopefully the layout’s close to what I predicted,” Hange said.

“These _presents_ better pay off, considering the time we spent prepping them,” Levi said.

They had finally reached the chapel and after only a few minutes of searching, they finally found the hidden passage that led beneath. Hange and Moblit had made a small research regarding the Reiss Family. That family had been instantly wiped out after pirates attacked the chapel a few years back and the only one who survived was Historia’s father, Rod Reiss. The story had a couple of holes according to Hange and Moblit and since Rod Reiss hasn’t been sighted in the capital, neither the official Reiss estate for the last couple of days, the next most convenient place was this.

“Okay, we should be ready to go now,” Armin said after he finished tying the gas tanks onto the barrels.

“Good job, Armin,” Nathalie stroked the boy’s hair.

“Alright then,” Levi turned at his and Hange’s squad. “Is everyone here ready? Cause you’re all about to dirty your hands,”

No answer came from the kids and Nathalie wasn’t expecting for one to come anyway. That moment was inevitable to come. Killing people was inevitable in this _cruel world._

“I take it that’s a yes,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Levi kicked the door open and the kids sent the three barrels rolling down the stairs. Sasha shot fiery arrows to the explosives that blew up right away. The oil in those barrels was going to make a decent cover of black smoke. Not to mention, that Hange had also suggested they use smoke signals.

Levi and Nathalie went out first, using as little of their gas as they could, they started counting how many of Kenny’s soldiers were standing around the crystalised pillars. Hange had predicted it correctly. It was all made out of hardened titan skin.

“Seventeen on my side,” Nathalie informed him.

Levi gritted his teeth. “Thirty-five total!” He informed the kids who were still on the stairs, shooting smoke signals to cover them. “They’re in the upper parts of the pillars! We’ll take them all out right here!”

Connie, Jean, Mikasa, Hange and Moblit with their squad switched on ODM right away. Armin, Sasha and two members of Hange’s squad took care of shooting the smoke signals and covering the others. Armin was right. Nathalie was very much impressed with the kid’s ingenuity. Soldiers using anti-personnel ODM gear were greatly vulnerable to an attack from behind.

Nathalie snuck behind a soldier and slit his throat. The pillars around were making it easy to use ODM and maneuver around. She flew towards another one, slicing his throat the same. The smoke signals were covering them just fine. She watched as Jean and Connie made their first kills. Nathalie knew it sounded weird, but she was proud of them. They had finally learned how to _kill._ Not a particularly _great_ thing, but important and useful for _such a world._

Nathalie took out another one that was coming towards Hange. Moblit took out the other that came for Hange as well. Hange sliced the throat of the guy that had her occupied, and she turned at Nathalie and Moblit. “Thanks, you two!”

“No problem, Section Commander,” Nathalie gave Hange a salute. She looked at Moblit. “Take care of her for me,”

“Sure thing, Lieutenant,” Moblit nodded.

Nathalie maneuvered towards the front where she knew she’d find Mikasa and Levi. She killed a few more on her way. She saw Levi taking out three at once, but three more were coming for him. She sent a hook towards the one. She stabbed him right in the stomach as she drew herself close. She cut the other one in half with her swords. Those blades were made for slicing titan skin. Cutting people in _half_ was more than easy with such blades.

She sliced the head off the third one. “Nathalie!” Levi shouted. She turned only to see him extending a hand and she knew exactly what he wanted her to do.

Nathalie approached him and she grabbed his hand. Levi groaned as he sent her body flying towards three more soldiers. She sliced their bodies in one go thanks to Levi’s powerful throw. He shot a hook towards another one, stabbing him with it, killing him instantly, and drawing himself close to her. He killed a guy that was coming for her and she crashed her swords with the woman’s guns that were about to shoot at Levi.

Nathalie growled as she pushed the blonde woman off. The woman shot at her, but Nathalie retreated to a pillar. Levi joined her when Kenny showed up. Kenny landed on a pillar nearby, arming his gun again.

“Hey, kids,” Kenny said with a smirk, staring at them both. “I don’t really have time to waste on ya. But I just can’t have you getting any further,”

Levi had that look on his face. The one of pure anger. He wanted to rip this man apart, but at the same time, he would avoid fighting him if he could. She wouldn’t blame him though. She felt the same. That man had raised them, but abandoned them in the streets all the same.

“Kenny’s mine,” Levi discarded his worn-out blades and loaded new ones.

Nathalie gritted her teeth. Levi had admitted that Kenny would be stronger than him with his anti-personnel ODM. “Are you sure you don’t need backup?” She asked worriedly.

“Don’t worry,” Levi turned and looked at her. The one corner of his lips almost curled up into a reassuring smile. “I’ve got this,”

Nathalie sighed. “Alright,” She switched her blades so that she was holding them backwards, just like Levi had shown her. She turned and looked at the soldier who was approaching them ready to attack. “The blonde bitch is mine,”

Nathalie maneuvered towards the blonde woman who shot at her. Nathalie maneuvered out of the way. Her swords came towards the woman’s head. The woman reacted right away. She pulled back avoiding Nathalie’s blades that could have sliced her head off, but instead, she only got to cut some of her hair. Nathalie attacked again, and the woman didn’t have enough time to reload her guns.

Swords crushed with guns. The woman pushed Nathalie back. She reloaded quickly and started shooting at her. Nathalie maneuvered away. She flew around, avoiding the bullets that could have hurt her badly. She didn’t care. She had this. She had lots of anger to take out. Nathalie hooked herself on a pillar and tried to think fast. She had to either sneak on that woman from behind, or face her head on.

 _Oh, fuck it._ Nathalie reloaded new blades after discarding the worn-out ones, and she attacked the woman again. She maneuvered around, avoiding the bullets that came her way. Another bullet came to her close enough. It would have hit her right between her eyes if she hadn’t used her swords to cut that bullet in half. The woman finally ran out of bullets. Her guns, useless now. She landed on top of a rope bridge that connected two pillars.

Nathalie followed her. She landed on top of the bridge and she pointed a sword at the blonde woman. “Tell me, how would you prefer to die?”

The blonde discarded her guns and she took out two daggers from their cases around her waist. “Stepping on your corpse!”

The woman growled as she crushed her daggers with Nathalie’s swords. Nathalie’s leg slipped beneath the woman trying to make her lose her balance and fall off, but the woman jumped effectively avoiding the enemy’s leg. The woman landed steadily back on her feet and she tried to use her ODM and send a hook towards Nathalie’s stomach. Nathalie reacted quickly.

She grabbed the cable of the woman’s ODM. She held onto it as powerfully as she could, drawing the woman towards her with power. She cut off the woman’s wrists. The woman screamed and Nathalie stabbed both her swords right into the woman’s stomach. She stared at her face as she stabbed the life out of her. Nathalie groaned as she pulled her swords out of the woman’s body letting the woman’s carcass fall down the bridge, lifeless.

“Idiot…” Nathalie chuckled as she looked down at the dead body that fell. She took out a handkerchief and wiped the woman’s blood off her hands. “…how can I kill you if I’m a corpse? Tsk,” Nathalie clicked her tongue, before she realised what she was _actually_ doing. She was wiping the blood off her hands with a handkerchief and she had just _tsk_ -ed. _Am I morphing into Levi or what?_

“HANGE!”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. She drew her swords again and she started maneuvering towards the direction Moblit’s voice had come from. _No, no, no, no…_ Hange was knocked against a pillar and a hook was coming her way to stab her right in the stomach. Moblit flew in the way. The hook stabbed on his stomach instead. Moblit cried out in pain and Hange caught him right away.

“No!” Hange shouted.

Nathalie’s sword sliced through the man who had the two cornered. She went straight for the next three that were coming their way. Nifa took care of one, Keiji took care of the other soldier. Nathalie landed beside Hange, who had settled Moblit in her lap.

“Nifa, Keiji, keep us covered!” Nathalie ordered.

“Roger!”

“You fucking idiot! You shouldn’t have done that!” Hange cried out as she pressed down against Moblit’s wound. Nathalie took out a large bandage right away and she started patching him up. She could tell it hadn’t hit a vital area. It was just aside the loins. She just had to stop the bleeding. Hange cupped Moblit’s face. “Mobby! Mobby are you okay??? TALK TO ME, DAMMIT!”

Moblit gritted his teeth. “I’m kind of in an EXCRUCIATING pain right now. SO, EXCUSE ME if I can’t talk!”

“You wouldn’t be in pain if you hadn’t fallen in the way YOU ASSHOLE!”

“I wouldn’t have fallen in the way IF YOU WEREN’T SO GODDAMN INCOMPETENT,”

“INCOMPETENT?! HOW DARE YOU SAY THIS TO YOUR COMMANDER?!”

Nathalie couldn’t believe these two were fighting, _here_ and _now,_ whilst Moblit was bleeding. Nathalie tightened the bandages around the man a little bit harsher than she was supposed and he winced loudly.

Hange shot her a glare. “Stop hurting my man, DAMMIT!”

“I’m NOT your man!”

“Oh REALLY?! Why won’t you say that to my fa-?!”

“I JUST DID!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, you two! It’s not time to play couple!” Nathalie cried out and they both blushed visibly.

“Nathalie!” Armin cried out as he with Sasha approached.

“Lieutenant Nathalie, the enemy has retreated,” Nifa informed her and Nathalie nodded.

“Good,” Nathalie stood up. “Keiji, Nifa, Armin, you take Moblit and Hange out of here. Find us a way out,”

The kids nodded and they helped Hange pick up Moblit and carry him out. Nathalie had made those bandages tight enough. He was going to be okay. She switched on ODM and reached the others right away. 

They were heading towards the deep end of the cavern that was getting more and more unstable. It was Jean, Connie, Levi and Mikasa. Nathalie and Sasha approached them fast. That same yellow light came. Nathalie gritted her teeth. It was either Eren or somebody else. She finally reached Levi who was maneuvering on the front. Levi let out a sigh of relief seeing that she was okay.

“It’s not Eren!” Connie pointed forwards. It really wasn’t. The titan who was transforming it was Rod Reiss himself, and by the looks of it, it was to be a massive titan. That’s why it took so long for him to materialise. Eren was tied in chains, hands and feet. Historia was knocked back against the crystal wall but Mikasa grabbed her.

“Mikasa!”

The others landed beside her. Levi grabbed the keys from Historia’s hands and he hurried over to Eren with Jean and Connie to unlock the chains and set him free. Nathalie pulled Historia into a brief hug and the girl clutched on her.

“Are you okay?!” Nathalie asked worriedly as she pulled back and cupped her face, meeting her bright blue eyes. “You’re not hurt, are you?!”

Historia gave her a smile and she shook her head. “I’m alright… you guys came!”

“Of course, we did,” Nathalie smiled at girl reassuringly and she turned around only to see Mikasa dragging Eren and the other three hurrying over them.

“He’s even bigger than the colossal!” Sasha cried out alarmingly, and she was right.

Nathalie turned around. Her back pressed against the crystal wall and she threw a protective hand in front Historia, keeping her as close to the wall as possible. The wind was violent against their bodies as the huge titan took its time to transform.

“Dammit! We’ll be buried alive!” Jean cried out.

Nathalie tried to think of something as she stared at the creature. The cavern was about to collapse. She turned at Levi. “Uh… any suggestions, _Captain?”_

“Please tell me you have something in mind,” Levi turned and looked at her with wide eyes. That couldn’t be the end, _could it?_

“Uh…” Nathalie tried to think. _Think, think, think, think…_ Something caught her attention. A bag resting nearby. She raised an eyebrow as she hurried towards it. Levi tried to stop her, but he knew she wouldn’t stop whatever he’d say. If that was her idea, then he trusted it. Nathalie pulled out a bottle and an empty syringe. She recognised the liquid right away. _Titan Spinal Fluid._ But it had a writing on the outside. _Armour._ She was willing to bet that that was TSF from the Armoured Titan.

“Dammit…” Eren slipped down to his knees. Tears streamed down his cheeks. His hands reached for his head. Fingers dug in his hair and he gritted his teeth “…this power should have never been given to me… I can’t be humanity’s hope, I’m just too weak…” 

“That’s not true,” Nathalie said as she walked towards him and knelt beside him with the syringe in her hands.

“C’mon. Stop playing the tragic hero. Of course, you’re too weak to accomplish shit by yourself, but no one expects you to,” Jean said.

“Yeah, calm down. We’ve been through a lot worse than this, man,” Connie said with a reassuring smile.

“Not that I really wanna get used to it,” Sasha added.

“Still, it’s gonna suck trying to fly through that mess,” Connie said.

“I’ll take Eren,” Mikasa said.

Nathalie drew a deep breath to speak but Jean cut her.

“It’s gonna take all that we have to not get hit. So, hold on for your life,” Jean said at Historia.

“Right,” Historia nodded.

“It’s useless. You know we won’t make it,” Eren said.

“So, we should do nothing?!” Historia asked. “Wanna sit here and hold hands till we’re crushed? Until we burn to death?! You know dying here won’t make anything better!”

Nathalie opened her mouth to suggest something again, but Levi cut her. She groaned. This was getting irritating.

“Listen,” Levi turned at Eren. “I really hate that I do this to you all the time, but… you’ve got to make a choice here,”

“Won’t you guys stop being so fucking dramatic!” Nathalie cried out, finally catching their attention. She pulled out the syringe. “I have a plan!”

“Well, then why didn’t you say so?!” Jean cried out.

“I’VE BEEN TRYING TO!”

“What is that?!” Mikasa pointed at the syringe.

“The Armoured Titan’s Spinal Fluid!” Nathalie answered. She turned her attention at Eren and she grabbed both his hands in her own. “Listen, you may think you’re weak. You may think you have failed each and every one of us here, but it’s not true. I’ve never seen such a hot-headed, stubborn boy in my life. It’s annoying as hell, but it’s your stubbornness that’s going to save us today,” She wiped his tears with the back of her fingers and she gave him a smile. “If anybody’s got the power to change this world, it’s you, Eren,”

Eren couldn’t believe somebody was actually believing in him. _If anybody’s got the power to change this world, it’s you, Eren. Yes._ She was right. If anybody could save his friends, right now, it was him. He should stop _whining_ and -for once- believe in himself. Nathalie definitely saw something in him that he couldn’t yet see. It gave him strength. Eren nodded at her and she injected him with the fluid that she had in the syringe. Nathalie had no idea whether this was going to work.

Eren went off and he transformed. His body started hardening. Nathalie couldn’t believe it. It had _actually_ worked. “YES!” She threw a fist in the air, but before she got the chance to celebrate another theory that was proven correct, Levi grabbed her and dragged her with him.

“C’mon! Get under Eren!” Levi ordered and they all jumped off and did as their Captain had commanded. Levi pulled Nathalie in his arms, shielding her body with his own. Whether this was going to work or not, he still needed to know he was keeping her safe. But it didn’t take long when Eren’s titan entirely hardened and he made a ball that protected them from the collapsing cavern and the huge titan that was now set loose.

And once it was done, Mikasa jumped on the nape and tried to pull Eren out, whilst Levi ordered Sasha and Connie to secure a route out of there.

“Eren! Eren! Wake up!” Mikasa cried out.

Jean joined her and helped her out. They finally pulled him out and Mikasa held him in her arms looking worriedly down at him.

“Is he okay?!” Nathalie cried out from below and the kids jumped down with Eren in their hands. Eren knelt down, exhausted. Nathalie pressed a palm on his forehead searching for temperature. She checked his eyes.

“I’m fine,” He reassured her with a smile and Nathalie knelt down in front of him and she pulled him in a tight, suffocating hug.

“Well done, my sweet little boy! I’m so fucking proud of you!! I never doubted you one bit!!!” Nathalie squeezed him and Mikasa opened her mouth to speak but Eren spoke first.

“Nat… can’t… breathe…”

Nathalie’s eyes widened as she pulled away. “I’m sorry!” She hadn’t realised she had squeezed him that much. She stood back up and pulled her notebook and a pencil out of her back pocket. “So, you needed some Armoured titan’s TSF to harden,” she wrote that down. “And the titan hasn’t even disappeared!”

“TSF?” Jean asked raising an eyebrow.

“Titan Spinal Fluid,”

“Guess that’s all you needed to pull it off, because this time you did it easily. You saved all our lives,” Levi said as he approached Eren and placed a hand on his head. “You came up with everything built here with a blink of an eye. It’s not exactly pretty, but I can see it’s potential. I bet this is how the walls were made too,”

Nathalie wrote that down too. It made perfect sense. “So this means-”

“We finally have a real shot at plugging Wall Maria,” Levi cut her and Nathalie groaned. _Why does he always do that?_

“Captain! We’ve secured an exit, sir!” Sasha cried out as she and Connie slipped down the ropes from a hole above.

“Moblit’s fine!” Connie cried out. “Armin and Hange too!”

Nathalie sighed. That was a relief to know. “Glad to hear it,” Levi said.

“Eren!”

“You okay?”

Sasha dropped to her knees. “We’re all safe thanks to you! But to be completely honest, when I saw you run off into the light, stumbling like a drunk and whirling like a baby, I THOUGHT WE WERE SCREWED! You looked like an idiot and my fate was in your hands, IT WAS AWFUL! QUIT YOUR BAWLING, HAVE SOME DIGNITY! That’s what I was thinking anyway,”

Nathalie tried her best not to laugh. _I love Sasha so much._

Levi caught their attention. “Let’s go. We have a big ass titan to catch,”


	49. I Choose You

“Commander! We can’t seem to distract it. It’s an abnormal. It doesn’t care about us,” The soldier said and Erwin nodded.

“That’s alright. Fall back. We know what direction it’s going. That tells us enough to make a plan,” Erwin said.

“We found Levi Squad!” Another soldier came riding on his horse with a torch in his hand. “They’re nearby. They succeeded, sir! They have Eren and Historia! Lieutenant Nathalie and Commander Hange with her Squad are there too, sir!”

Erwin gasped. They were okay. They had made it out. Nathalie was with them too. He was more than willing to hear what she had to say on that abnormal and on how to take it down. But in the end, he realised, he was just glad to know that Nathalie and the others were okay. His grip tightened around the reins of his horse and he urged it to follow the soldier and go find them. Hange had told him what happened. Apologising to Nathalie was the least that he could do.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

The Scouts had found them. The team was now riding on horses, but Moblit was on a cart with Hange’s hand pressing tightly on his wound. She had settled his body in her lap, too worried to do anything but make sure to keep him awake till they’d reach Orvud and rush him into a hospital. Nathalie sat beside Hange and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“He’s going to be okay,” Nathalie said reassuringly and Hange only sighed deeply. It was her fault he was wounded _in the first place._

Eren was sitting across them with Historia, and Levi with the kids were riding on their horses with their torches in their hands to light their way. The abnormal was coming into sight the closer they got. It was almost twice the size of a colossal. The body too huge, and the limbs too thin, but still managed to drag itself towards the District. Nathalie couldn’t help staring at it. It was burning from the inside out. It was incredibly _abnormal_ physically.

_“You need to understand, your Majesty. Only one person per generation can be allowed to turn into a titan and succeed the Founder from the previous generation. If another person of the same generation is turned into a titan, then the transformation is going to result in an utter abomination,”_

_“And why is that, Dr. Burgess?”_

_“The Royal Bloodline contains genes that if activated, they are too strong for the human body to handle. That’s greatly because the Royal Family has directly inherited those genes by the Founder Ymir herself…”_ Nathalie had no idea whose words were these, but she was willing to bet it was an ancestor of hers talking to one of King Fritz’s grandsons. _The Founder Ymir?_

_If another person of the same generation is turned into a titan, then the transformation is going to result in an utter abomination._

And there it was, that abomination that was dragging itself towards Orvud District. Even if she tried to inject that thing with Eren’s Titan Spinal Fluid she doubted it’ll be enough. It was too big. It was at least twice the size of a Colossal Titan. Nathalie would need _days_ to gather the right dosage. Days that they didn’t have if that thing was to attack the District. But then again _if I injected that thing on its nape, with even a smaller dose, maybe it could still…_

“Erwin!” Levi said as he saw the Commander approaching on his horse and Nathalie was snapped out of her endless thoughts. They stopped their horses and the cart to speak to the Commander. 

“Anyone hurt?” Erwin asked. His eyes scanned the kids, Hange, Moblit, and Nathalie. Nathalie seemed fine. Erwin sighed in relief.

“Yeah, Moblit took a hit,” Levi answered.

Erwin looked at the area that Moblit had been stabbed. It didn’t seem to be a vital spot and Nathalie reassured him. “No vital organs injured. So long as we take him to a hospital before dawn, he’s going to be alright,” She said and Erwin nodded.

“You’ve done excellent work all of you,” Erwin said looking around at the kids.

“I have a lot of shit to report but,” Levi sighed as he looked at that abnormal in front of them. _The situation’s fucked._

“Anything on that titan?” Erwin asked.

“It’s Rod Reiss,” Levi said and Erwin gasped in surprise.

Erwin turned at Nathalie “I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this, Lieutenant,” Erwin extended a hand over for her to take and mount on his horse beside him.

Nathalie opened her mouth to speak but Levi spoke first. “What are you doing?!” He scoffed. _That bastard_ wasn’t actually hoping to ride all the way back to Orvud with Nathalie on the same horse, _was he?!_

“Time is short. We better talk about this on our way to Orvud,” Erwin said. He did not withdraw his hand. Erwin had a point. It was best that Nathalie made the report and it’d make sense that the Commander will have to be on the front to lead the rest of the troops whilst talking to her and trying to come up with a plan.

Levi groaned and tried to speak, but Nathalie’s hand found his shoulder and he turned to look at her. “It’s alright. Let _me_ do the report. We need to come up with a plan as well. Erwin will need all the help he can get,” Nathalie said and Levi sighed. He knew she was right. _She was always right,_ and maybe now it wasn’t a great time to be acting paranoid.

Levi nodded at her, finally giving her the permission to take the Commander’s hand. Erwin’s hands slipped around her and he settled her in front of him on his horse. Levi regretted immediately nodding at her when he noticed Erwin’s one hand tightly around her waist whilst they rode away. He wanted to cut that hand off, _but, alas_ , he was out of blades. For a moment, he actually thought of following them closely from behind.

“Is it just me, or the Commander’s tryna steal the Captain’s girl?” Jean said raising an eyebrow.

“Whatever he tries, we already know it’s gonna be in vain,” Connie’s lips curled into a sly smile.

“Especially after what happened today,” Sasha added.

Levi tried his best to ignore them until Eren turned and looked at his friends confusedly. “Wait, what happened today?” He asked and Levi sighed heavily. _Fuck._

“Wait, you mean you haven’t noticed?” Armin asked. “The Captain and Nathalie got engaged,”

“THEY WHAT?!” Hange cried out and Moblit cringed at the sudden, ear-drilling shout. Hange cupped his face turning at the man in her lap. “When are WE going to get engaged?!” She cried out. Moblit groaned again. He was in immense pain. He could not deal with this _right now_.

“Please, shut up, Hange, and I’ll marry you,”

“REALLY?!”

“ _Oh my God_ ,”

Levi finally burst out. “Why are we talking about this whilst there’s a big ass abnormal ready to attack a goddamn district?!”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“I’m all ears,”

“Right,” Nathalie drew in a deep breath. “Do you remember what I told you about the Nine Titans with the specific powers that can be inherited?” She had explained to them all of these the night when they came up with the ultimate _four-year_ plan.

“Yes,”

“One of the Nine is the Founding Titan. The Founding Titan can only be used at full extent if the one who has inherited it has royal blood running in their veins. The true Royal Family had been passing down the Founding Titan from generation to generation, by eating the previous successor,”

“And let me guess, the person with royal blood, wielding the Founding Titan can alter people’s memories,” Erwin said.

“Exactly. My guess is that Rod Reiss was trying to turn Historia into a titan by injecting her with Titan Spinal Fluid, and he’d have her eat Eren, which means that Eren has the Founding Titan somehow, but he can’t use it because he doesn’t have Royal Blood,” Nathalie said.

“So, which one of the Nine is the titan that Eren transforms into?” Erwin asked.

Nathalie realised that, that was a _great_ question. And confused to _how_ , she knew the answer. “That’s the Attack Titan. The Usurper. Rebellious. Reckless. I don’t know how he inherited it, but that’s the titan that’s obsessed with freedom and hates the enslaved. He seeks to free the oppressed, but he wants anything but peace,”

Erwin gritted his teeth when the realisation hit him. “So, we should consider the possibilities of Eren becoming our enemy,”

Nathalie hated to admit it, but he was right. “If we do not deal with the boy delicately, then yes. He watched as a titan ate his mother. That’s a whole lot of anger that the kid’s got inside. It may burst out the wrong way. It’s all up to us,”

Erwin nodded. “Understood,” He then looked at the giant creature that they were now passing riding fast on his horse. “Any idea on that?”

“I’ve been thinking,” Nathalie turned and looked at it. Erwin’s hand slightly tightened around her protectively as he urged his horse to move further away from the dangerous creature. “It’s too big in mass. There’s no doubt it’s an abomination of titan nature. Each generation of the Royal Bloodline can only handle having _one_ member transforming into a titan and succeeding the Founder,” Nathalie pointed at the titan. “There has already been a person transformed in Rod Reiss’s generation, that’s why he himself needed Historia to succeed the Founder because he knew he’d turn out like this. But the thing here is, that there has already been another person from Historia’s generation. So, if we choose to let Historia transform to eat Eren, then she’s going to become an even worse abomination than this one,”

“So, we forget that plan entirely,”

“Exactly. Then again, if we give Rod Reiss to eat Eren, then Rod Reiss is going to see what the first king saw, and he’s going to wipe our memories. If that happens, we’re back to square one,” Nathalie said and Erwin found she was _absolutely right._

He nodded. “So, we forget that plan as well,”

“Then, there’s this other thing I’ve been wondering about,” Nathalie started. “I don’t know what will happen if I try to turn him back into a human by injecting him with Eren’s Titan Spinal Fluid. He’s got Royal Blood. If we inject him with Eren’s TSF then he will most likely inherit both the Attack and Founding Titan. He’ll erase our memories, and then we’re _fucked_ ,” Nathalie finished and Erwin chuckled.

“Alright. It’s clear that it’s heading towards Orvud District. We can’t evacuate the people into Wall Sheena, because the titan will only change its direction,” Erwin said and Nathalie nodded.

“Correct,”

“We have no choice but to kill Rod Reiss outside the very Walls of Orvud District,” Erwin said and Nathalie sighed.

“I hate to admit it, but you’re right, Commander. We really do have no choice,” Nathalie said. She knew it was Historia’s dad, and she knew the girl probably wouldn’t like that plan. But it was the only one they had.

“Do you think all that heat that it’s emitting will be enough to ignite whatever explosives reach close?” Erwin asked. He was slowly coming up with a plan.

Nathalie’s hand found her chin. “It is possible. By the looks of it, I’d say that it’s burning from the inside out. Which means that the mass is so big, that in order to produce enough energy to move, it’s essentially burning its own cells to create energy. Of course, that cannot kill it, because the cells will simply regenerate,”

“I see,” Erwin couldn’t hide a smile that curled across his lips. She was so _brilliant_. She never ceased to impress him.

But only when they stopped talking did Nathalie realise, that a hand was thrown around her and her back was very well pressed against Erwin’s chest. _How in the world_ had she not felt awkward about this?! But then it came back to her. It was only a few hours ago that that very same man held her all night in his arms in that cell. And she had buried her face in his neck and she had passed out from the blood loss and the exhaustion on top of him. He hadn’t pushed her away. He was the one who had pulled her close last night. And it wasn’t just that.

He had caught her chin and he had pressed a kiss on her forehead when the guards dragged him away. Nathalie stared shocked ahead of them when the realisation hit her. How could she forget all of this? Still, it made sense forgetting all of these. After _what_ happened. Her hand found her belly. She hadn’t taken the time to think about this. There was _no time_ for now. But she was starting to understand why Levi was being paranoid when she was being around Erwin for long. Levi had probably seen something that she hadn’t.

“I want to apologise, Lieutenant,” Erwin said and she tensed up right away. She was so lost in thought, she had almost forgotten he was still there. She panicked even more when he cupped her face and urged her to turn and look at him. Sympathetic bright blue eyes met her own and she found herself helplessly staring. “Hange told me what happened. You lost a child. The fault is all mine, Nathalie,”

She could hardly hear what he had just said. All she could hear was her subconscious _screaming_ at her about how _wrong_ this all was. What the hell was she doing there? Why the hell was she riding on the same horse with him?! Why the hell was she letting him hold her so close just as Levi used to hold her? _LEVI!_ Nathalie panicked. But she stared at him and pieced together the words that she guessed he had most probably just said. She didn’t seem to be able to come up fast enough with an answer.

“Uhhhh… I’M SORRY, I’M ENGAGED!” Nathalie burst out and Erwin’s eyes widened but she did not want to stick around and find out his thoughts about it.

Nathalie escaped the hold of his arms around her, and she jumped off the horse in a blink of an eye. She vaguely heard Erwin crying out her name, but she ran as fast as she could all the way back, passing soldiers who were riding on their horses in the different direction. She didn’t care. She had to get away from Erwin as fast as she could. When she spotted Levi and their squad, she jumped onto Levi’s horse. His arms reached around her and he settled her in front of him with her body facing his own. She looked shocked and flustered.

Levi cupped her face. He gritted his teeth angrily. “That bastard didn’t touch you, did he?!” He’d make sure he’d cut his fingers if he did.

“Of course, he didn’t, he wouldn’t dare! I’d never let him!” Nathalie reassured him before she grasped his shirt and buried her face in his neck. “Now, shut up, and hold me,”

Levi found himself smiling triumphantly. _Finally_ , his _oblivious_ Nathalie had found out that there was always something wrong with the way Erwin stared at her. It was clear she was choosing _him._ Levi’s one hand slipped around her, whilst the other held the reins that guided his horse. He revelled at the needy way she was clutching onto him right now. “Yes, _ma’am_ ,”

“So… do we get to see a kiss or what?” Connie said from behind only for Levi and Nathalie to pull back and look at him, Jean and Sasha who were all having sly smiles on their faces, eyebrows twitching mischievously waiting for them to kiss. Nathalie groaned. _Brats._ It came out in unison. 

“No!”  
“No!”


	50. The Battle Outside Orvud District

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, ma wonderful readers!!! Another big chap that contains battle and a little bit of Levi x Erwin rivalry ehehehehe I've got so many things in store for you people, I just finished writing Chapter 60 🤣🤣🤣
> 
> Lemme thank y'all once again for all that awesome support! All these great comments that keep motivating me to continue this story!!! Thanks for all those Kudos and thanks for reading!
> 
> Enjoy! 😘

**The Same Night.**

“Please have your Squad on standby on the hall now. They’re almost ready to begin the meeting,”

“We’ll be right there,”

Levi nodded at the man and he turned and looked around trying to spot his squad. The kids were all around and Nathalie was tending to his horse. They had finally arrived in Orvud District and they had settled in the Garrison HQ. A large building that stood in the midst of Orvud, and all Garrison officers were there to help execute Erwin’s plan.

Levi approached Nathalie. She had a smile on her face as she caressed and talked to his horse. He wouldn’t blame her. He talked to his horse too, but the animals were always preferring her over him. Still, she looked cute even in her white long-sleeved shirt that had a few bloodstains from the fighting, and her black pants that were tight around her thin waist.

Her glasses rested neatly on top of her nose, but they were pushed slightly aside as the horse licked the entire one side of her face. Levi groaned as he took out his handkerchief ready to hand it to her. How could she just sit by and laugh with the _disgusting_ horse saliva on her face? He was going to force her into a _thorough_ shower after this. Levi tried not to grin at the thought.

“Here,” He said as he handed her the handkerchief and she turned at him giving him a smile.

“Aw, thanks!” Nathalie wiped her cheek. “I’ll wash your handkerchief afterward, I promise,”

“No need to worry about that right now. We have to gather the brats,” Levi said and Nathalie nodded. She set off and she brought the kids around him much faster that he could ever hope to do it. “Historia, I forgot to tell you,” Levi said, drawing the young girl’s attention. “There’s something we need you to do,”

He had forgot to tell Nathalie as well. Nathalie wasn’t going to like it. She was now tying the ODM around Historia’s body, but she stopped halfway, and she turned to see what her beloved _husband-to-be_ was trying to say.

“This is an order from Erwin. Once we finish off this titan, seeing as you’re the true successor to the throne, you’ll become queen,” Levi said and everybody’s eyes widened.

“What?!” Nathalie exclaimed and she grabbed her hands around the girl protectively. “She’s too young for that. At least, let her live her life before locking her in the stupid life of snobbery and luxury!”

Levi sighed. It was _exactly_ what he expected to come from Nathalie. He couldn’t say he liked it either. “I’m afraid it’s out of my hands. The coup was successful, but the people won’t follow military rule forever. We need to give them a heart-warming story, one where the rightful heir retakes her crown from the pretender,”

Historia was shocked, and so was everybody else. She let her head rest back on Nathalie’s shoulder and she sighed deeply. She wasn’t happy about this. “Oh, I see,” She just said. Her hands found Nathalie’s that were still around her and she just snuggled in the hug. Nathalie rested her cheek on top of the little girl’s hair and she hugged her a little bit tighter from behind.

“I’m so sorry, kiddo,” Nathalie said.

“It’s alright,”

“Hey… uh…” Connie raised his hand catching their attention. “…you heard what Historia was saying earlier, didn’t you? Cause well… it sounded to me like maybe… arising against her dad, she finally broke from that part of her life, you know? It’s just like…”

“Like what? If you have something to say then say it,” Levi said and Nathalie’s hand found Connie’s shoulder.

“What Connie’s trying to say, is that Historia should be the one to choose her own fate. We can’t choose for her,” Nathalie said.

“Historia finally broke free from the Reiss family,” Jean took a step forward and Levi turned and looked at him. “And she decided she’s more than just a bloodline. So, for us to force her into another wall for that reason I- …I just don’t think it’s fair, sir!”

“It’s fine,” Historia said as she took a step forward, escaping Nathalie’s hug. “If my next duty is to become a queen, then that’s what I’ll do,”

“But… Historia…” Armin said surprised. They all were surprised.

Nathalie walked in front of her, catching her attention. “Are you sure, sweetie?”

“I do appreciate your concern,” Historia gave Nathalie a smile before she turned at the others. “Whether this is forced on me… it’s really up to me to decide, and… I’ve decided,” She turned at Levi. “Captain, before that, I have a condition for you,”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “And that is?”

“While my fate is still my own, I want to put everything I have on the line,”

There was no way that Erwin was going to allow that. Historia was too important and they couldn’t allow anything happen to her. But still, it was one final mission that she could fight in. There was no way Nathalie was going to let him keep that from her. Levi opened his mouth to object but Nathalie cut him.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on her at all times,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Alright, Mobby. Hang in there, we’re close,” Hange cupped the man’s face. His body was still resting in her lap comfortably.

His head was resting against her thigh. Eyes, slightly closed. It worried her. Touching his face, she could tell he was having a fever. Nifa was guiding the cart with the two horses on the front, taking them fast towards a hospital. It was late in the night and she was sure they were already having a meeting on how to deal with the titan and she was supposed to be there, but _fuck them,_ she couldn’t _think_ knowing that Moblit’s life was at stake. Even worse, it was at stake because of _her_.

“You… need to get back to… HQ… Nifa can handle it,” Moblit said weakly but Hange shook her head.

“Shut up,” She snapped. “I’ll make sure you’re okay first, then I’ll leave,”

“Hange-”

“I said no!” Hange insisted.

She was worried. No matter how much this man drove her insane, he had always been there. He was always on her side, to make sure she wouldn’t do something stupid. He was always there to have her back. She couldn’t leave him. She needed to know he was going to make it out of this. Moblit sighed. If anybody knew how stubborn she was, it was him. There was nothing he could say to change her mind. He couldn’t deny that he didn’t want her to leave either.

Her hand found his own. Warm fingers caught his own and she pressed her cheek against his burning forehead. “Just hang on,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“Once you’re queen, you can punch that smug rat right in the face,”

Nathalie could have sworn, that was Mikasa’s voice. The kids were standing right behind them and there was no way Levi hadn’t heard her. Nathalie turned a laugh into a discreet cough and Levi shot her a glare. But they had more urgent matters at hand. They had gathered around a large table where all the Captains and Squad Leaders of the Garrison were all around to listen to Erwin’s plan.

“Sirs! We have determined the Reiss Titan’s location. It’s southwest approaching Orvud. It’s fast. At this rate, it’ll reach the walls before dawn,”

“Commander Erwin, I’m sure everyone here would like to hear your plan. How can we evacuate the people in such a short time?”

“That’s not part of the plan,” Erwin said, in his authoritative thick voice. Nathalie had been trying her best to forget what had happened before between them. “The people of Orvud District will need to stay exactly where they are,” 

“What the hell are you thinking, Erwin!” The Garrison Section Commander grabbed Erwin by the shirt. “If we don’t get the civilians out of the City, they’re all gonna die! That walking monstrosity will have reached the wall by the morning!”

“That titan is an abnormal,” Nathalie crossed her hands against her chest and the man turned and looked at her.

“Right! And what the hell does that even mean?!”

“It behaves strangely,” Nathalie started. “Unlike most titans we encounter, it’s only attracted to large groups of people, hence it’s called abnormal. Put simply, given a choice between a large group of soldiers riding next to it and a distant but densely populated City, it’ll choose the city. So, if we move Orvud’s populace into the interior of Wall Sina, the titan will just change its course, and it’s going to destroy the wall and anything else on its path. If it attacked the Capital Mitras, the losses would be devastating,”

Hange walked in and she placed her goggles back in place. “We tried to use Eren Yeager’s scream to stop Reiss’s titan, but it didn’t respond to it at all,”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. _That’s right._ She couldn’t believe she had forgotten about the scream. But of course, it didn’t work. The scream was the Founding Titan’s ability to use other titans and order them to do what it wants. But Eren would have to come in contact with a human of royal blood should he had to use it. But the thing is: Historia, being related to Rod Reiss, even having Eren touching her hand to order Rod Reiss around, it still wasn’t going to work. Ordering Rod Reiss around it was the same as trying to alter his memories, but the Reiss and a few other noble families were immune to that.

That said, the Reiss and the other Noble Families, had something that made them immune. Nathalie wanted to figure what that was. It would give them the upper hand somehow. She didn’t know how, but something told her it was essential making everybody immune to the Founder’s _scream_. Other titan-shifters could use the scream too, and as far as she knew, the enemy possessed most of the titan shifters at the moment.

Nathalie sighed. She had lots of work to do, and lots of headaches to deal with.

“If we’re to stop this thing, it’ll have to be outside the Walls of Orvud District,” Erwin said. “For that to happen, we require the citizens here to act as bait. However, that doesn’t change the fact that our first and foremost duty as soldiers, is to protect the people. In the event that we’re unable to halt the target, we’ll take measures to minimise civilian losses. We’ll announce a District-wide evacuation drill tonight. The people will be gathered away from the outer wall, ready to escape if the battle is lost,”

The Garrison Section Commander sighed heavily. “It seems there’s no other choice,”

“The body of this titan seems to be the largest we’ve seen yet. As such, it presents an easy target. Our wall-mounted cannons should prove highly effective, but if we can’t bring it down with artillery, the Scout Regiment we’ll throw everything we have at it,” Erwin turned and looked at Levi, Nathalie, Hange, and their squad behind them. He had a plan.

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“So, you’re saying, that to take this titan down, we’re gonna stuff gunpowder down its throat, and hope that’s enough to destroy the nape of the neck?” Levi asked turning at Erwin as he finished explaining his plan.

“That’s correct,” Erwin nodded.

The Levi Squad was gathered all around a small table where Erwin had spread out a map of Orvud District.

“With all the heat that Rod’s titan is emitting, it should be able to react with the gunpowder, and hopefully it’s going to ignite it without a detonator,” Nathalie said.

“Although all of this is dependent on whether the titan’s mouth is hanging wide open,” Levi said.

“With the way it’s dragging itself, I’d say that at least half of its body is being smashed and destroyed, which means that half of its face is also _missing,_ ” Nathalie pointed on the map. “So, when it reaches here and it stands up, the mouth will be an easy target, and the nape will be close. In order to keep its massive body moving, it’s burning its own cells to create energy, which means there’s fire on the inside. That thing alone is a ticking timebomb,”

“Exactly,” Erwin stepped beside her and pressed both hands on the table. “The cannon fire from the outside may not breach the nape but the flesh inside its mouth is softer. More vulnerable. And like Nathalie said, it’s most likely it doesn’t even have a mouth to open,”

“Still, we’ll need to blow off its hands. It’s taller than the wall,” Nathalie turned at Hange. “Can you make something go _boom?”_ That was Hange’s specialty, _honestly,_ that’s why Nathalie never wanted her to join when she was working in the labs. Hange would always find something to set on fire.

Hange smirked. “You don’t even have to ask,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“FIRE!”

The cannonballs dropped like rain on the massive creature that was only a few metres away from the wall. The Garrison was filled with incompetent soldiers and Nathalie wouldn’t be surprised. They were in the Northern side of Wall Sina, and if anything, the military in Wall Sina was filled with soldiers with almost no experience at all. It was Hange’s squad that was preparing the explosives. Of course, Moblit was in the hospital for now and Hange had informed Nathalie that he was alright.

They were now all in their ODM on top of the wall looking at the Garrison as they fired on the titan. Erwin was right. This wasn’t going to work. They couldn’t get a clear shot of the nape. Once all the cannons were finished firing, halting the titan slightly Levi crossed his hands against his chest and Erwin finally joined them.

“Well, how did that do?” Erwin asked. His question was answered when the titan resumed approaching them. Of course, it would. Erwin was right. The cannons wouldn’t be able to breach its skin. The Garrison kept firing to no avail whatsoever. “Looks like the field cannons are even less effective,”

“Makes sense,” Levi said. “The cannons on the wall have way better angle, but they don’t do shit to it either. What’s the problem?”

“Unprepared soldiers,” Erwin answered. “Scraped together cannons, and shallow leadership. The titans have always attacked from the south. Not only this is a northern Garrison, it’s also from the Interior. Therefore, I can tell you for a fact this is the best we’ll get,”

“Yeah, that much is painfully clear. And of course, your strategy for getting us through this battle, comes down to a gamble, just like every other plan that you’ve come up with,” Levi said, and even though he still had that dead look on his face, Nathalie raised an eyebrow.

She was absolutely certain that Levi wasn’t done talking. She was reminded how well she knew him when he turned around and punched Erwin harshly across the face. Erwin winced and took a step back, but did nothing to dodge it. His nose slightly bled and Levi took out a handkerchief to wipe his knuckles from his Commander’s blood. Everybody gasped, their eyes widened. Had he actually just punched the Commander right in the face?

“That’s for your stupid gambles that took the life of my child,” Levi growled. He had been keeping this in for lots of hours, but he had realised it was neither his fault nor Nathalie’s. It was Erwin’s. It was his plan to overthrow the government and therefore his fault that Nathalie got involved, chased, caught and tortured. It was all that _bastard’s_ fault. 

“Wait… what?!” Eren asked surprised. Historia’s eyes widened as well but Sasha leaned at both from behind and started explaining.

Levi was about to punch Erwin again, but Nathalie caught his hand just in time. “Can we focus here?!” Nathalie scolded him and Levi shot her a glare, but she returned an equally intimidating glare. They had more important matters to deal with right now. There was a massive titan that was about to attack a _goddamn_ District _dammit!_ “We’ll punch him together afterwards, I promise,” Nathalie reassured him and Levi sighed, pulling his hand down.

“No, it’s alright, Nathalie,” Erwin said as he took out a handkerchief and pressed it against his bleeding nose. “You two have every right to be upset. We’ll speak about this afterwards,” He promised them, but then Hange’s voice caught everyone’s attention.

“ERWIIIINNN! I BROUGHT THE GOODIESSS!” Hange was way too excited. “All the gunpowder, ropes and net that I could find,”

She had two barrels that would go off and explode after they’d launch them on the titan’s hands at both sides. The net was huge enough to trap lots off barrels filled with gunpowder that Eren was going to grab in his titan form and force them down the throat of the titan. This plan was convenient enough.

“Did they do any damage?” Hange turned at Nathalie and Levi.

Levi frowned. “Imagine a swarm of birds shitting on it,”

“Which means no damage at all,” Nathalie added.

Hange turned and looked down at the barrels of gunpowder that her squad had been settling in the net. “Then we’ll actually get to use those babies. How exciting!” she squealed.

“How’s Moblit?” Nathalie asked.

“The doctor administered him enough blood to cover what he missed. He’ll be up in no time,” Hange said with a smile on her face. She was relieved he was okay. Nathalie and Levi were relieved as well.

“Captain Levi, Jean, Sasha, Connie, you handle the other side,” Erwin said. “Lieutenant Nathalie, Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Historia, you handle this side,”

“Yes, sir!”

“Nat! Help out will ya?”

Nathalie turned and approached Hange. “Of course!” She knelt beside her friend and she reached for gathering the ropes of the net that they were preparing.

“How should we approach this, lemme see…” Hange hand found her chin, rubbing thoughtfully. “…think of it as wrapping a gift for someone special!”

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “Or wrapping a bag to go grocery shopping,”

“That sounds good too!”

“I believe you heard from Captain Levi. After this is over, we’ll crown you queen, so naturally, I cannot let you fight on the front line,” Erwin said as he approached Historia who was also helping to wrap the net.

Historia sighed and she stood up. “Right,”

Once Nathalie made sure Erwin was nowhere nearby, she approached Historia and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, how about we talk to Erwin about this?”

Historia turned and looked at her. “I- I don’t know if I can…” she sighed heavily. “The Commander’s right,”

“No, the Commander is a human being and sometimes can be wrong,” Nathalie said as she looked over at Erwin whilst he gave orders to Hange’s squad. “I know you want to fight. Your fate is all yours, and it’s all up to you to decide,” She placed two hands on Historia’s shoulders, making sure he had her attention. “You have to live a life you won’t regret. One that you’re proud of. Or at least, I’m sure that’s what Ymir would’ve wanted,” 

Historia’s eyes widened. “Yes… yes, you’re right,” She gave Nathalie a smile before she pulled her into a tight hug, burying her face in Nathalie’s shoulder. “Thank you,”

Nathalie caressed the girl’s golden hair before she pulled back and returned the smile. “Go speak to our Commander. No worries, he doesn’t bite,” Historia chuckled before she went off, more confident than ever. Nathalie grabbed the ropes and continued tying and preparing the net around the explosives.

“It’s amazing how strong she’s become,” Eren’s voice caught Nathalie’s attention and Nathalie chuckled. It was true. “At first, I thought she was the weakest of us, but no… I was the weak one. Somewhere along the line, I decided I was special, and cause of that, so many soldiers died for my sake. I accepted it as natural, and the same goes for my titan powers. I hated titans more than anything. But when I became one, I thought nothing of it, because I wanted to believe that strength was my own. That’s the thinking of a weakling,”

“So, what if you’re weak?” Nathalie asked as she knelt beside Eren. “We all are, I mean, look at us. Any moment now we can die. It’s okay to be weak, Eren. If you know how being weak feels like, then you can better sympathise with other people,” Nathalie explained and she realised Eren was staring at her, listening to all that she was saying.

“Yes… yes, you’re right,” Eren’s fingers tightened around the ropes that he was tying. “But I’m still not about to save mankind. I’m not special. I’m nobody. But really, it’s humanity that got the short end of the stick here, cause they’re stuck with me as their trump card,” He stood up and stared down at the houses that spread beneath. He felt the weight of Nathalie’s hand passing around his shoulders as she joined him.

“And what’s so wrong about that?” Nathalie asked and he turned and looked at her.

“I’m-”

“Weak?” Nathalie raised an eyebrow and he sighed. “Look how far you’ve come. A few months back, you didn’t even know how to transform. Heck, you didn’t even know you could harden your skin, but then you saved us back in that cavern. And look how far we’ve all come thanks to you. How about you stop doubting yourself for a second?”

Eren sighed heavily. “You’re probably right,”

Nathalie messed his hair and he cringed, but he couldn’t help chuckling. “That’s my boy,”

“Heads up! Our baby is here!”

That was Hange’s voice, of course. Nathalie and Eren turned only to see the large titan’s hands pressing against the wall, trying to lift its body up. The soldiers of the Garrison panicked and started retreating right away. Nathalie was more than glad to see that she was right. Half of its face was missing due to the friction it created to come here.

 _Perfect._ “Eren, you know what to do,” Nathalie said and he nodded. She turned at Mikasa, Armin and Historia “You three come with me,”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Nat! Help me out with this!” Hange cried out. She was holding a barrel that was tied on ODM.

They were going to send it over the hands to blow them off. Lightning shot in the air as Eren transformed and grabbed the net with the explosives. Nathalie hurried over at Hange and she grabbed the barrel from one side whilst Nathalie grabbed the other side. Nathalie could see as Levi and Jean were the ones to throw the barrel in the other hand opposite of them. All they had to do now was wait for the Commander’s signal.

“On my mark!” Erwin cried out as he loaded the red smoke signal in the pistol. He fired the signal. “Now!”

Hange and Nathalie sent off the explosives, blowing up the hands efficiently. The titan went tumbling down on the wall, and before it had the chance to do anything else, Eren stuffed the net with the barrels filled with gunpowder down its throat. Nathalie was right. There was fire inside that thing. The explosives were ignited almost immediately and its entire body was made into pieces that flew down into the city.

But it wasn’t over yet. Somewhere between those pieces there was the nape, and it wasn’t over until they’d slice it. “GO! Deploy your ODM gear and finish it off!” Erwin cried out and they followed his orders right away.

Nathalie, Hange, Erwin, Mikasa, Armin, and Historia jumped over the one side, whilst Levi, Jean, Connie, and Sasha too over the other. The pieces were many, but it was nothing that they couldn’t handle. Nathalie hooked herself over a large one. She sliced it in half. So did Armin and Mikasa with their own different pieces. The same happened with Jean, Connie, Sasha, and Levi. Hange and Erwin too. It was indeed nothing that this team couldn’t handle.

Nathalie saw a large piece. Larger than the rest. It looked like it had a person inside. “Historia!” She cried out, catching the girl’s attention. If someone should do it, it had to be Historia. She was the only one who had the right to do this. Nathalie flew over the girl on her ODM. She grabbed Historia’s hand and she gave the girl the necessary push to fly towards that piece. Historia let out a cry as she sliced the nape in half, finally putting an end to this. Nathalie was proven correct. That was indeed the nape because after slicing it, it brought a massive explosion. 

“She did it,” Erwin said surprised, wide-eyed he stared at the girl who was now falling. He turned at Nathalie who was flying nearby. “Nathalie! Go get her!”

Nathalie nodded. “Yes, sir!”

She hooked herself on a nearby building beneath them and she grabbed Historia, tossing the girl into a nearby cart that was filled with hay. It should be enough to ease her impact. Nathalie focused on her own landing but turned out she didn’t have to. Someone else caught her. Nathalie let out a yelp as they landed on the roof of a building and she realised she was on top of him. Her face crashed against his chest and she lifted her head up only to see Levi. Nathalie sighed in relief.

He cupped her cheek. “You okay?”

Nathalie gave him a smile before she buried her face back in his neck and his hands slipped around her. She closed her eyes. Her body relaxed. It was over. He was there. “I am now,”


	51. Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you beautiful people!!! 🥰 You're in luck! This chapter contains fluffy, angsty shower smut. Somebody had asked for shower smut -because it's Levi, duh🤣- so, here it is!
> 
> Then there's the question on whether they _have_ showers on Paradis. Their technology and architectural structure seems to be like the one in the 1800s and showers were widely introduced to the poor in 1888 so I suppose it is possible...?
> 
> Anyways! Let's just say, that for the sake of the story, they do have showers, but they only got cold water. It's just my geeky self trying to make this fic as realistic as possible 🤣😅
> 
> Please enjoy! And lemme know in your comments what you think! 😘

Before the day got to reach its dusk, Levi suggested they went back to whatever was left of that cavern and try to find Kenny. Nathalie knew Levi was closer to Kenny than she could ever be. Still, no one could be _close_ to that man. He would shut everything and everybody out and Nathalie could’ve sworn, Levi had adopted all those hot-headed traits from the man who had raised them. In the end, she found, that Levi wasn’t Kenny, but he could easily be.

Still, Nathalie had suggested she take a syringe of that serum that seemed to work on both her and Erwin. It was the combination of Eren’s TSF and a normal titan’s TSF that indeed seem to heal people and bring them back from the brink of death. Should they find Kenny, they could save him. Levi had nodded to her suggestion right away. She stuffed the syringe in her bag before the two of them mounted a horse and rode all the way back to the destroyed chapel.

They made sure to replenish their ODM with blades and gas. Kenny’s squad could still be alive, and they could still attack them. But they weren’t. They had all been crashed beneath the rubble of the collapsed cavern, but they finally spotted Kenny. He was badly injured, as expected. He had lost lots of blood, and half his face was burnt. His back rested against a tree trunk, and his hand was tightly around a bleeding wound on his stomach.

Levi and Nathalie rushed towards the man and Nathalie knelt beside him and started looking for the syringe in her bag. “Shit…” Kenny coughed out blood “…not you two,”

“Shut up, Kenny,” Nathalie growled and the man chuckled.

“You figured it out… didn’t ya, daughter?” Kenny asked and Nathalie stopped mixing the liquids just to look at him. It was only just a few times when he’d call her that. Kenny coughed once more. “He said that you would…”

“You’re talking about… the king?” Nathalie asked and Kenny nodded weakly.

Levi knelt down and grasped Kenny by the shoulders. “Kenny, what do you know about the king?! The _first_ king. Why didn’t he want mankind to survive?!”

“Dunno, beats me,” Kenny said. “That said, I know that’s part of the reason we Ackermans decided to turn… rogue-” he stopped when the blood flooded his mouth again. Blood spilled on Levi’s cheek as he turned alarmingly at Nathalie.

“Do it. Save him,” Levi ordered and Nathalie grabbed Kenny’s hand and tried to inject him, but Kenny smacked her hand away stopping her.

“No… I’ve… done my fighting… it’s time I… rest,” Kenny coughed once more.

“Don’t be a stubborn old man and let her do it-” Levi growled but Kenny cut him.

“It’s alright, boy,” Kenny said and he chuckled. “Your mom… she would’ve been proud… if she… saw you now,”

Levi’s eyes widened. He never thought he’d hear this. Somebody to be proud of him? He never had any parents to hold that role. He never thought he needed someone _so desperately._ Maybe that’s why he wanted Nathalie to save him. But if Kenny didn’t want to live, what was the point? But he just needed to know.

“So, apparently, that’s my name as well…” Levi said. “…tell me… what were you to my mom?”

Kenny chuckled. “You dumbass… I’m just her brother,” He coughed again.

Levi gritted his teeth and looked down. Levi had spent a lifetime thinking that this man was his father. He was the only parental figure that Levi had ever had, only to find the truth _now._ But he could never forget that day. The day Kenny abandoned them both in the streets. Was he not enough? He had responded as well as he could to that man’s teachings. He had tried his best to impress his old man. To make him _proud._ But instead, he just abandoned him, and Levi could never find the answer when he asked _why? Why?!_

“That day… why… why did you leave us?”

Kenny did not respond right away. “Because… I wasn’t cut out… to be somebody’s dad,” He turned and looked at both. His hand found Nathalie’s, the one that was still holding onto that syringe. He closed her fingers around the syringe. “Save that serum… for yourselves… stay alive… kids,”

And these were his last words. Levi let go of the old man’s shoulders and he looked down on the blood that had been spilled on the grass. “Kenny…” Levi felt Nathalie’s hand on his shoulder and he turned and looked at her. He was now vulnerable more than he had ever been. But it didn’t matter. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable in front of her.

Levi’s arms slipped around her and he dragged her close. He buried his face in her shoulder and he shut his eyes. He should have gotten used to it. Losing everything and everyone. But he didn’t have to. He still had his brats. He still had _her_. He was so grateful she was there to hold him _here_ and _now._ She had always been there. So many things had happened the past few days. His hands tightened around her and she placed a kiss on his temple. Her fingers found his hair, caressing soothingly.

“I’m here for you,” Nathalie whispered in his ear.

He couldn’t believe he had wetted her shoulder. “I know,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

An inn was going to be hosting them in Orvud. They were too tired to ride all the way back to Trost where the Survey Corps HQ was, and still, some soldiers were going to be spending the night in the hospital. Levi was impressed. Their room was actually _clean._ Or at least, the cleanest that he’d ever seen in an inn. There was a double bed, and a small bathroom with a shower. It must’ve been the most _luxurious_ inn of Orvud. Levi could hardly tell how much their one-night stay was going to cost, but he didn’t care either. Their sponsors would be paying. 

Nathalie headed straight for the bed, discarding of her boots and leaving them on the floor. She pulled off her glasses and her bag, resting them on a nearby small table and she sat down on the bed with a sigh. _Finally,_ some _peace._ But that peace didn’t last. _Of course_ , it didn’t.

“Stand up,” Levi crossed his hands against his chest. “You’re in for a shower,”

Her eyes widened. “What?! No! I’m tired- HEY!” She let out a yelp when he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. It was clear he didn’t care whether she wanted this or not. He let her down on her feet and he returned with a large oil lamp that brought enough light. He settled it on the sink as he listened to her complaining. “Seriously?! Right now?? I may be a clean-freak too -cause I grew up with you- but give me a break,” She whined.

Levi took a few steps forward and she took a few steps back. Her back met the brick wall behind her. His hands trapped her there against him. He leaned close enough till his nose met her own. “You’ll get a break when _I say so_ ,”

Nathalie groaned tiredly. It almost reminded her of back then when he was teaching her his technics on ODM. “Really?! I thought we were past that!” Her hands found his shirt and she started unbuttoning his shirt lazily.

“If you’re that tired, then I’ll clean every filthy inch of you myself,” He said. His breath brushed warm across her lips. He was close enough for her to want him to kiss her, but he wasn’t kissing her and it frustrated her.

Still, Nathalie raised an eyebrow, mischievously. “Is that your way of asking for sex, Mr. Ackerman?”

His hands reached for her own shirt, unbuttoning her own buttons and revealing her wonderful skin beneath, but he did not stop ghosting his lips over her own. His eyes met her own again. Fingers continued blindly unbuttoning her shirt. “I’m only trying to look after my future _Mrs._ Ackerman,”

Just having him saying that made her _weak_. She bit her lip before she buried her face in his neck and started kissing. “I like the sound of that,” She mumbled as she gathered his soft skin between her lips and she suckled on it slightly, giving him her own mark. Levi groaned. His hand found her hair. Fingers clenched in the messy strands as he pulled her head back revealing her wonderful neck, chest, her breasts, trapped in her black bra, and he knew it was going to be a pain trying to hold back.

He caught her mouth with his own. Tongue invaded right in, meeting her own and revelling in her taste, her scent, those throaty moans that he elicited out of her. He pushed off her shirt. A hand slipped back, unclipping her bra. Both pieces of clothing fell to their feet and now his hands were everywhere. Tracing those new scars on her back, her waist, her belly, her arms. She hissed in the kiss. The pain almost came back to her from those scars in her back. The deep knife cuts on her arms. The heated blades of her torturers as they dug on her skin whilst she’d scream for _help_. She’d _scream_ and _no one_ would hear her.

Eyes widened. Her breath was snatched halfway her throat and he pulled away from the kiss immediately to see if she was okay. So many things had happened the last three days, and she didn’t have the time to recall those memories. She hadn’t gotten the time to sit down and realise that she had actually gone through _that hell_.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?!” Levi asked worriedly.

These were scars, they weren’t supposed to hurt, _right?!_ All those wounds had been healed because of the serum, but the scars were still there, and so was the memory. She clutched onto him. Fingers dug into his shoulders and she buried her face in his neck. She never thought she’d have trouble letting him touch those new marks that covered her body. She couldn’t believe she had actually survived this. Being tied on a chair. Being tied in chains, enduring all forty of those lashes on her back. And then all those punches and kicks on her belly. The excruciating pain that had made her tremble and whimper, and suffer on that hospital bed. Her hand found her belly. The pain was gone, but she was still afraid that it would come back somehow any second. It had only been yesterday since this had all happened.

“Nat…” one hand found her hair and the other cupped her cheek trying to pull back and look at her face, but she didn’t budge. She just shut her eyes and her hands only tightened around him. “…talk to me… _please_ ,”

“I’m sorry…” Nathalie whispered in his neck. She nuzzled deeper into his skin, seeking for that safety. Seeking for that reassurance, that warmth that he always made her feel. “…it was just… _traumatising_ ,” Her voice trembled.

 _Of course,_ it was. He wasn’t surprised. She had every right to be afraid and trembling, but he hated watching her flinching to his touch as if she was afraid he was going to hurt her. He would never do that. He’d rather _cut off his limbs_ before even _thinking_ about hurting her. But he knew it was his fault she had gone through this. He was the one who had failed to stop her that night. But she was safe now. He had to make her _feel_ safe.

“It’s alright, Nat,” He whispered in her ear. “I’ve got you… I’ll never let anything like that happen to you again,”

He pressed a kiss on her temple. His arms tightened around her. Just the thought of all of these happening to her infuriated him, but he was sure that the Interior MPs were being very well tortured right now. Still, that couldn’t undo what had happened to her. That couldn’t undo the memories that each and every one of them _hurt._ That couldn’t undo the fact that they had lost a child.

But that was never going to happen again. He wouldn’t allow it. He kissed his way down her cheek, her cheekbone, her lips. A calloused thumb found her cheek. His forehead pressed down against her own. Eyes met. “I’ll protect you. You’ll do as I say and I won’t take _no_ for an answer, is that clear?”

He was right. She should stop trying to do selfless things. She should trust him. She did trust him, but she always tended to do things that he’d disapprove. They had been together for so long. She trusted him with all that she had. There was no point in resisting. She still didn’t want to put the burden of her life on his shoulders, but it was already there. She couldn’t tell whether she was a burden on him or not. She didn’t want to be. She didn’t want to add to his troubles.

She shook her head. “I don’t want to add to your burdens-”

“What burdens are you talking about?” His hands tightened around her. His eyes caught her own. She was trying to avoid him, but he cupped her face and he kept her attention. “Do you have any _fucking_ idea how precious you are to me?!”

She stopped trying to avoid him and instead she stared up at him wide-eyed. Was this really coming from him? All that passion and all these emotions coming from the most _emotionless_ man that she had ever known. But still, she always knew, he wasn’t _emotionless._ He was only _frightened_ of taking those feelings out. He was frightened of facing them. But he was taking them out _right now_ that she was there. He wouldn’t open up like that if she wasn’t important to him.

She was the one who kissed him this time. She kissed him hard, her own tongue the one to penetrate his mouth and he groaned. Her fingers blindly pushed his unbuttoned shirt down his shoulders. She gasped when he knocked her body against the wall. There was just no pain coming to her now no matter how much his fingers dug in the skin of her waist, her hands, her back. He let go of her mouth and he buried his face in her neck. Before she even knew it, her pants came undone, dropping on the pile of clothes on their feet.

Arms tightened around her and he picked her up. Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Her body was knocked against the wall once more. Nathalie gasped. He trapped her skin between his teeth, leaving down another mark on her neck and she squirmed. Her fingers fisted in his hair. His tongue snaked out, tracing her soft skin. His name came from her lips like a soft prayer. It made him groan. His pants felt almost too tight around his hard member.

She could only moan when he rubbed himself against her soaked panties. He did it again. His bulge pressed down on her swollen clit just right and Nathalie gasped. Her head rolled back against the wall. Fingers clenched into his hair. She couldn’t believe she was so wet already and he had barely done anything to her. 

“Levi… fuck me please,” It came like a silent plea into his ear. He only rubbed himself against her once more, knocking her body against the wall a little bit harsher than before and leaving her breathless. He groaned. _Good,_ he wanted her to beg. He wanted to make her _scream_ , and he didn’t give a _fuck_ whether people in the other rooms were going to hear her. 

But, _first things first,_ he let her back down on her feet. Skilful fingers reached for his belt undoing it and drawing it off with a jerk. The last pieces of clothing on him were brought undone lying with the pile of clothes on their feet. Then his eyes found her body in the dim light of the oil lamp. The flawed skin covered in new marks, and the shy hands that desperately tried to cover them. He didn’t want her to cover herself around him. He didn’t want her to be afraid of these scars. Something told him that she was never going to look at the mirror again. 

_No,_ he was going to change that. He was going to love this body, _her_ body, because it _belonged_ to him. _She_ belonged to him. She was _his_ to touch and _dominate._ He pulled her hands away from around her, finally revealing her chest, her stomach, her delicious breasts. Her body slightly trembled beneath the intensity of his gaze. The gaze of a predator staring at its prey. 

His hands reached for her panties, pulling them harshly down her legs. _Finally,_ she was naked, and _exposed,_ and _perfect._ It hurt him so much knowing that she considered herself _anything_ but _perfect._ Her perception of herself was so _wrong._ So, so _wrong._ He only wished he could change it _somehow_. Warm, strong arms slipped around her and forced their now naked bodies to touch. It brought her some relief. She could at least hide that wretched, _ugly_ body of hers in his arms now. She buried her face in his neck and she shut her eyes. She knew she was safe. She knew she should shoot all fears away because _he_ was there and _he_ was going to protect her. 

“You’re so beautiful…” he whispered in her ear. His hands tightened around her and he led her towards the shower. He started planting kisses on her shoulder. “...you’re so perfect-”

“No, I’m not,” She whispered against his skin, even though she was hoping that he wouldn’t hear her, but he did. 

Levi pulled back. His forehead pressed against her own. The tip of his nose brushed gently on top of her own. Eyes met. “Yes, you are,” his hand found her hair. Fingers fisted in her hair giving them a punishing pull that had her gasping. So _gorgeous_ and so _helpless_ there beneath _his_ grasp. So _precious._ “You listen to me from now on. You do and think as I say, is that clear?” 

Nathalie knew what this was. It was him taking all the consents that she had left, making sure she was completely submitting to him. It was Levi asking to _take it all_ from her. Her body, her soul, her consent, her affection, her thoughts. All to be _his_ and nobody else’s. She never thought someone would ever want that _wretched_ body to belong to _them_. She couldn’t tell _what the hell_ it was that he was seeing on her that made him want her so much. She could never spot the good things on her. _Frankly,_ she thought she didn’t have _any_. 

But there was no point in resisting. She had submitted to this man long before she had even realised it. “Yes,” Her breath brushed across his lips, her hands cupped his face. “I’m all yours, Levi…” She brought him closer. His chest pressed against her own. Her hands slipped around his shoulders tightly. Eyes met. “...I’m all yours… body, mind, soul… all yours,” 

And that’s when the water came cold running down their bodies. Nathalie let out a surprised yelp. Her body cowered against his, seeking for warmth and shelter over the cold water. Of course, it’d be cold. But she reminded herself, she was used to cold water. Cold water was all they ever had to shower in. Still, it was sudden. It caught her by surprise, but his lips crushed against hers, and he swallowed down her gasps, and those whimpers as he let the refreshing, cold water soak their bodies. 

“ _Mine,”_ he growled in the kiss, and then he kissed her harder. Her back found the wall behind her, and she moaned in his mouth. 

“Yes,” 

“Say it,” He ordered. His hand slipped behind her, giving a sharp blow on her buttcheek that had her body knocked against his own. The sharp sting made her bite her lip. _Fuck._ All he could do was stare as her head rolled back. Lips, swollen and bitten by both him and herself.

“ _Yours,”_ she whispered breathlessly against his lips and his hand landed down on the same buttcheek again. She cried out at the sharp pain, but then his fingers smoothly brushed against the warm, rosy skin. 

“Good girl,” He stopped the water before he grabbed the sponge and soap from nearby and he started cleaning her up. 

The soap and sponge slipped gently all over her body, starting from the chest, her arms, her shoulders, her back. Then he reached her stomach and then he dropped to one knee. He lifted her perfect leg, settling it on his thigh, before he started rubbing the sponge on her soft skin in gentle strokes that had her sighing. He did the same to her other leg, caressing her thighs too close to her core. Her clit throbbed demanding attention that he wasn’t giving it any just yet. _Damn him._ He wasn’t going to _fuck_ her senseless unless he was done. 

It was funny to think of how she had submitted to him, yet he was the one on his knees right now. He had never knelt in front of any woman, but _this…_ this time it was _her_ , and he’d kiss every single inch of her. He would kneel down and worship her body again and again if it meant changing her mind about herself. Fingers clutched on her hips and he brought her close enough to bury his face in her glistening heat.

Nathalie gasped. Eyes shut tight when his tongue pressed flat on her clit. Lips closed tightly around the sensitive bundle of nerves and he started sucking. It drove her insane. Hands found his hair. Fingers fisted in the wet, raven strands of his hair. Her hips buckled beneath his hold, trying to move closer and rub herself on his face, but his hands were tight around her, and each move she made only caused his fingers to dig deeper into her flesh. She didn’t care. He could bruise her all he wanted. His marks were ones that she’d proudly carry.

Two fingers thrust inside of her. Her tight walls clenched around his fingers. Her head rolled back on the wall. Her lips parted into a silent cry, but the only thing that came out was his name into a soft whisper. He settled a leg onto his shoulder. Nathalie nearly stumbled, but he held her tight, and devoured on her flesh till her whole body was writhing. He stood back up only to catch her lips with his own, and his fingers started pumping inside of her into an unforgiving pace.

Nathalie let out a yelp in his mouth. She could taste herself on his lips, his tongue. Arms slipped around his shoulders. She pulled back from the kiss with a loud cry. She did not give a _damn_ about being loud. This night was _theirs._ He was going to take her all night and he didn’t care whether she’d be able to take it. He could do nothing but stare at her whilst his fingers started hitting on that sensitive spot that drove her insane.

An arm was tight around her, keeping her pressed against him. If he wasn’t holding her, her weak legs would’ve given in and she would’ve crushed on the floor. But he’d never let her fall. _Never._ But the way she gasped and writhed. The way her fingers dug her own bruises on his shoulders, and her face twisted into pure pleasure. Pleasure that he was the one giving her. He had complete control over her. She was gorgeous, there, soaked and messy. Her body, trembling beneath his touch. He could do nothing but stare. 

“Look at you,” Levi bit down on her lip, releasing it only when it was swollen enough. “You’re loving this,”

“Y- Yes- L- Levi, fuck, I’m gonna-” But he pulled his fingers out of her and she nearly felt like slapping him across the face. Nathalie merely whined in frustration. She was so close. _Bastard. Of course_ , he wasn’t going to let her come without being inside of her.

“You only come when I say so,” His breath brushed against her lips before he opened the water again. It came cold running down her body, pushing the soap away. _Damn him,_ and that way he looked at her. He tried to catch her lips again, but she pulled back with a giggle that made his heart jump beneath his chest.

“And you kiss me only when I say so,” Nathalie said playfully. He frowned when he tried to kiss her again but she pulled back with another giggle. Whatever he’d do, there was no way he could ever have complete control over her. Nathalie was the strongest woman that he had ever known. She would tease him to death whilst all others would be scared to even look at him in the eye.

She grabbed the sponge and soap from his hand. Her hand reached back, turning the water back off. She pressed the sponge with the soap on his chest and she leaned close. She buried her face in his neck leaving down a gentle bite. His hand found her hair, fisting in them. He groaned as she licked around the bite. Her tongue snaked out, tracing her way to his ear, gathering the water that lingered on his skin. “Your turn, _Captain_ ,”

He watched her as she rubbed the sponge gently on his chest, his arms, his shoulders, his back. She did not leave part of him untouched. He was marvellous to look at. The few deep scars. The perfect muscles that would flex with every movement. His skin, pale but warm and welcoming to the touch. His face, _perfect._ Sharp, gorgeous features that would let every woman breathless. She knew there were so many women out there who would’ve given it all to be with the man standing in front of her. Beautiful, talented women. Yet for some reason he had chosen her.

For some reason, he had chosen to fall for her and marry her. For some reason, he was letting her tease him and touch him, and trace scars that he wouldn’t let anybody else touch. He would let out his feelings. He would allow himself to _feel_ something if it meant that that something was _for her._ She couldn’t believe she had that. She couldn’t believe she had someone who was _this_ close to her for her to not be afraid to stand naked and exposed to him. She couldn’t believe that there was someone who loved that _ugly_ body of hers even in the sorry state that it was after the torture.

She would forever be grateful to that man, for just _being_ in her life. For giving her all that love and all this affection that she never thought she so much longed for. After she had gathered enough soap in her hands she went for his hair. Thin, skilful fingers buried into the messy raven locks and she started rubbing soothingly. Levi could do nothing but bring her close and bury his face in her shoulder. He sighed in her shoulder and he closed his eyes, revelling at the way she softly rubbed his sculp with her fingers. He always loved that.

It brought such relief to his tormented mind and for once his guard was completely down. He always overly enjoyed it when his mother would bathe him and rub his hair in a similar way. He found, that he was the needy one clutching on her now. It was her before, now it was him, and the roles just kept reversing, and he didn’t mind. She didn’t seem to mind either. They looked after each other in their own special way. It had always been like this.

He caught the soap from her hands and proceeded to do the same with her own hair. He knew his moves could never be the same as delicate but she only giggled and he almost found himself smiling. Why shouldn’t he? He loved that woman. Her smile, her laughs, her giggles, her body, her intelligence, her affection. Everything was just so _perfect_ about her. He was so proud to know that one day he was going to make her his wife. His own _Mrs. Ackerman._

And when the water came down on their bodies and the soap was washed off, his lips crushed against her own. Eyes shut as they kissed beneath the stream of water that crushed unceremoniously on their bodies. He had picked her up before she even knew it. His hard member twitched impatiently against her dripping heat. Her legs closed around his waist tightly. His hands supported her against him and her back crushed against the rough brick wall behind her.

He had her now, trapped and gasping. The water, being wasted, but he barely cared, and he didn’t have to. She turned it off with a jerk. He thrust inside of her and she cried out. Body tensed. Head rolled back and fingers dug on his shoulders. She was so tight. Still wet from before when he had denied her an orgasm. She had almost forgotten how he felt inside of her. Nathalie’s body clenched around him. He groaned in her neck. She was so tight, and warm, and _perfect._

Levi buried his face in her neck and he started kissing and licking and nipping. His hands reached back for her hair, pulling her head back harshly. One hand was enough to keep her up. He gathered her skin between his lips, awarding her body with another mark of his own and she squirmed beneath his touch. He pulled out and thrust back in a little bit harsher than he intended to. He couldn’t help it. She felt so _perfect_ around him _._ And she was all _his._

He set up an unforgiving pace that had her _screaming._ He caught her mouth with his own. Screams turned into groans and moans that reverberated in his mouth. His cock hit deep inside of her. His fingers clenched beneath her and she found that orgasm coming back to her at full strength. He pulled back to allow her to breathe and she buried her face at the crook of his neck.

She muffled herself, biting down on his shoulder when she came. She came hard and her walls clenched around him, knocking growl out of him to her ear. He gave her a few more thrusts before he pulled out of her and he left her back to her feet. Her wobbly legs nearly gave up on her, but his hands tightened around her supporting her up on her feet. His hard cock, trapped between their bodies. There was no way he was getting her pregnant again. _Not before the right time._ And the right time would after Erwin’s four-year plan was through.

He still hated waiting for that for so long.

But he wasn’t done with her no matter how breathlessly she was panting on his shoulder. He turned his head. Teeth grazed her ear. “On your knees,”

A shiver ran down her spine. She knew exactly what he wanted her to do, but she couldn’t promise she’d be good at it. Although, there was an interesting biological fact that _the tissue in the mouth behind the cheeks is identical to the tissue in a woman’s va- WHY am I thinking about this now?!_ Nathalie only grinned to herself before she did as he had asked.

_I’m such a nerd._

Still, his body waist down was just as impressive as it was waist up. Perfectly built thighs, covered in scars from Expeditions and jobs in the Underground. She just let her fingers from his belly to his thighs, and then his hard member that still glistened from her juices. 

She caught his hard cock in her fist before she leaned close and pulled him in her mouth. She tasted the salty precum, as she teased the tip with her tongue. She barely knew how to do this, but she only guessed she just had to _improvise._ She pulled him all the way into her mouth and it knocked a groan out of him. A sign that he liked that. Nathalie pulled him all the way out and back in coating him in her saliva and making him groan once more. Soft breaths escaped his throat as his hands reached for her hair. He pushed back the annoying, wet locks that had started to cling on her face and she resumed pleasuring him. 

Just listening to him. His breath hitching halfway down his throat. His fingers slightly tightened around her hair and her name desperately trying to escape from his lips but he wouldn’t allow it. _Damn him,_ and his _self-restraint._ Those gasps and groans that came out of him, they still got her wet and needy again. She was fairly aware of the fact that her body was wet and that they were still doing this on the floor of the small shower. She was certain she was going to catch a cold by not wrapping a towel around her already, but _she barely cared._ Pleasuring him was all that she could care about now. 

His balls were left back and abandoned. She only wondered how he was going to react if she paid them a little attention. She leaned further closer to him. Her nose brushed against his underbelly as she pulled one of them in her mouth. Levi hissed. “Shit!” Hips buckled beneath her hands. She couldn’t believe _Levi Ackerman_ was so close to _crying_ her name out. Her hand continued pumping him. Her fingers were tight around his wet shaft as she stroked him again and again. 

His fingers fisted painfully tight around her hair. He pulled her away from his balls before he thrust roughly back into her mouth. Nathalie squirmed. His tip hit straight down her throat and she choked. A drool of saliva slipped down her lips. His hands held her in place and he started thrusting into her at a punishing pace. Her hands wrapped around his hips, bracing herself at the wild pace that he set. Tears were almost running down her cheeks as he fucked her mouth. She couldn’t believe she was so wet. Her hand reached down between her legs. She had an ever-growing ache that she had to quench. 

“Yes… touch yourself, Nat,” he growled as he looked down at her helpless body. She moaned when her fingers found her quivering clit, drenched in her slick wetness, it was so easy to rub against it. “Does it feel good? Me fucking your mouth?” 

She could hardly begin to form an answer. She could tell he was close. His thrusts, out of pace, and clumsier than before. His fingers only tightened in her hair. His hand landed down on her cheek in a harsh slap that made her see stars. She couldn’t take it. She came around her pumping fingers and he came into her mouth with a curse erupting from his lips. She couldn’t believe he had slapped her. She couldn’t believe she had actually _liked it_. _Damn him._ She swallowed down the salty precious liquid. Her tongue snuck out, cleaning up his cock. 

Levi sighed before he pulled out of her, and before she even knew it, he had wrapped a towel all around her and he had picked her up. Nathalie was too tired at this point to _move_ but _thank goodness_ he was there. He carried her limp body to the bed and he placed her gently down on the soft mattress. He gathered her hair in the towel and he started drying them off. 

Nathalie could do nothing but stare at him and at how well he took care of her. It brought those butterflies back into her stomach, and she could do nothing but smile. His body was still wet and probably cold and soaked, but he didn’t seem to pay any attention to that. He had to take care of her first. _His precious Nathalie._ He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“I’ll be right back,” he promised before he returned back to the bathroom and grabbed another towel. 

After he was finished drying his body and his hair, Levi returned back to her, true to his word. He pulled the towel away and he settled her naked body beneath the bedsheets. He lied beside her, and before he even knew it, she was already clinging to him. It was so heart-warming to know somebody _needed_ him as much as she did. His hands slipped around her right away. He wanted her close. He wanted to hold her. And he brought her close and she buried her face in his neck right away. Soft palms pressed flat on his chest. Her nose nuzzled in his neck and he felt her soft lips as she laid down a kiss on his skin. 

Levi’s arms only tightened around her and he buried his face in her damp hair. He pressed a kiss on her forehead and he finally allowed himself to close his eyes. No matter how _hellish_ the situation may get over the years, and no matter how much of a _mess_ the world was, he couldn’t say that he gave a _single fuck._ All that he cared about was keeping her safe. All that he cared about was getting to marry her, and getting the chance to build a family of their own. He couldn’t deny it. He wanted little brats running around and _wrecking_ their house. He wanted to watch her as she’d spoil _the hell_ out of them and he wanted to hold them in his arms and know that he had done at least _something_ _good_ in that bloodstained life of his. 

But for that to happen, they had to achieve _peace._ They had to achieve that _idealised_ world that Erwin, Hange, Moblit, Mike, Nathalie, his brats… the world that they had all devoted their hearts to. He’d be damned if he brought a life into a world as _messed_ and as _fucked_ _up_ as it was now. _No._ His and Nathalie’s _brats_ deserved to live a life that the two of them had never known. A life with no cruelty and no lives to take, and no wars to be fought, and no burdens to carry. No monsters to face. 

Levi almost felt _optimistic_ for once in his life. They were going to get to that world. And when they would, they were going to live their lives like they’ve never had before. _Peacefully._ If not him, then Nathalie deserved to live in such a world. She and those brats in his squad, they deserved it more than anyone. 

He noticed her as she buried her face deeper into his neck and her hands slipped tightly around his shoulders bringing him closer. 

“I love you so much, Levi,” she whispered silently in his neck and if he didn’t know better, he wouldn’t have caught that. But he did. 

Levi only pressed his cheek on top of her hair and he sighed blissfully. “I love you more, Nat,”


	52. Conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended OST "Indecent Proposal - Main Theme" by John Barry, Nicholas Raine, and Andy Vinter.
> 
> Thanks y'all for reading and for all those amazing comments and kudos!
> 
> Enjoy! 🥰

The morning light gently entered through his eyelids. Levi kept his eyes closed. They had been through _hell_ the past few days. If they deserved something now, it’d be a good rest. He couldn’t feel her body clinging against his own. He could only assume she had escaped his grasp during their sleep, and her body must’ve been resting by her own side of the bed. Still, he wanted to bring her close. A hand blindly reached for the other side of the bed only to find out that it was blank.

Eyes shot open and this time he looked to make sure. She wasn’t there. _Where is she?!_ Could she have been _abducted?!_ _No,_ if she had been, he would’ve known. He was beside her all night, there was no way her abductors could have slipped beneath his nose. Still, if she hadn’t been abducted, then _where is she?!_ He never thought her mere absence would make him panic _so much_.

He stood on sitting position and he buried his face in his hands. It was true. He was already overwhelmed with trying to protect her and his squad. There was no way he could add to that. _Not yet,_ at least. He tried to pull the sheets off his body and dress up. He didn’t have clean, proper clothes to put on -especially after that shower- but he could deal with whatever he had, and most importantly, he had to _find her._

But he never got to do anything when the door opened and Nathalie walked in. “Good morning, sleepy head,”

Levi’s shoulders relaxed right away upon seeing she was unharmed. Maybe he was just being paranoid. She looked good actually. _No. Good_ wasn’t even _close_ to describe how she looked like. She looked _gorgeous._ She was in a light grey skirt that reached her ankles. A white buttoned shirt on top and a cloth wrapped around her hair just like every time they’d set off to clean a room, or when she’d set off to cook something. She would gather her hair back, but there was always a messy strand of hair that would remain on her forehead.

Bright blue eyes met his own, and only when she talked, he realised he had been staring. “Levi?” She let the tray -that she had been carrying- on the bedside table and she approached him to cup his face. “Are you oka- AH!”

She let out a yelp of surprise when his hands slipped around her and urged her to stumble down and crush on his lap. His lips met her own before she had the chance to say anything and she giggled in his mouth. Her hands slipped around his neck and she finally granted him access in her mouth. Tongues gently danced in a delicious swirl that had her moaning. Fingers clutched around her skirt on her hips as he brought her a little closer and kissed her a little harder.

Her own hands slipped on his bare chest, brushing gently across his scars and the pale skin. There was no way he could hold back when she looked like this. She had brought him breakfast, hadn’t she? He had barely paid any attention to the contents of whatever she had put on that tray. There was no way he could focus on anything else _but her_.

He pulled back, just to let her breathe. Her soft thumb brushed across his cheek and he found himself sighing and pressing his forehead against her own. Her taste lingered on his lips and he had no idea how to deal with how _needy_ she made him. Levi buried his face in her neck and he started kissing. He spotted the swollen soft skin. The marks that he had given her last night. He pressed kisses on them as if apologising for bruising her.

Nathalie only giggled once more and it made his heart flutter. Her soft fingers found his hair, caressing soothingly. Fingers slipped down on his nape and he hummed against her neck. She grinned. _Sensitive there, aren’t we?_

“Levi…” She spoke against his ear. “…I brought you breakfast,”

He hummed, before pressing another kiss down on her soft skin. “I am aware of that,” His hands only tightened around her as he bit down on her skin. Nathalie moaned. He licked gently down on the bitemark and Nathalie squirmed.

“ _Fuck_ … Levi!” She scolded and she smacked his shoulder trying to make him stop _turning her on._ But he didn’t even budge. 

A bright blush spread across her face, but he paid no attention at how flustered he was making her feel or what they had to do for today. They should probably be out of bed now and they should probably be heading for Trost to fill reports and take care of _paperwork._ Levi groaned. _No, no, no, no._ He wasn’t giving a _single fuck._ He wanted to spend the entire day with her. He wanted to keep her trapped right there on his lap, on the bed for the next few hours.

She could very well feel his erection growing beneath her, and the very idea got her wet and bothered. But she groaned. There was no way he was letting go of her. _“You’ll do as I say and I won’t take no for an answer, is that clear?”_ He was really living up to his words, wasn’t he?

He hummed in her neck. “I wonder… whether you’re wearing any panties beneath that skirt,” Calloused fingers slipped beneath her skirt, tracing across the soft skin of her legs. Much to his surprise, she was indeed wearing her knickers beneath, reminding him just how different from all other women she was. “Oh, you do,”

Nathalie laughed. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m not a slut-” She let out another yelp. She gasped when her back landed against the mattress and he was on top of her. Hands and knees planted all around her. His hair almost touched her forehead. His body, shamelessly naked and on top of her. His breath brushed across her lips as he settled his body between her legs. The tip of his nose touched her own.

“I’ll make you one,” Levi’s eyes met her own. Grey pupils, sharp and dark with need as he leaned closer. His lips ghosted above her own. “ _My_ slut,”

Nathalie bit her tongue. She could already feel the wet heat gathering between her legs and the only thing she could do was stare at the attractive man who now had her trapped beneath him. He leaned close and tried to catch her lips between his own, but then a sudden knock came on their door and Levi almost got the need to _gut_ whoever that was.

“Captain! We’re ready to depart, sir!” That was Eren’s voice and Levi only buried his face in her neck, groaning in utter frustration. There was no way he’d answer that, so Nathalie thought she’d do it instead. Besides, everybody knew she and Levi were sleeping together. It wouldn’t be surprising.

“We’ll be right there, sweetheart,”

“Oh! Alright, Nat!”

The kid’s footsteps could be heard from outside as he walked away and Nathalie watched as Levi got off of her and started searching for his clothes. “I washed them for you!” Nathalie jumped off the bed and she rushed towards a basket that she had rested nearby. “The sun’s been hot all day so they dried off pretty fast,” She pulled the freshly washed clothes out of the basket and she handed them to him.

He couldn’t believe she had actually washed them for him. Usually, even back then in the Underground, each one of them would wash their own clothes and take care of their own things. But this time, she had actually done it for him, and there was no reason for him to worry about putting on dirty clothes after a thorough shower. She wasn’t just spoiling those brats in the squad. She was spoiling _him_ as well and he didn’t even know whether it was a good thing, or a bad thing.

Levi cupped her face and planted a peck on her lips. “Thanks, Nat,”

Nathalie only smiled up at her beloved. Her palms pressed flat on his bare chest. “Get dressed and have your breakfast. I’ll go check on our brats,”

Levi could do nothing but stare at her as she walked out the door. Her words, ringing in his mind on repeat. _I’ll go check on our brats._ They already had _brats_ to look after, hadn’t they? He smiled at himself before he set off to do as she had asked.

_Yeah, we do._

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

They parted their ways when they finally arrived the Survey Corps HQ in Trost. Levi and Nathalie dropped their squad by the Special Operation’s Squad HQ that still laid abandoned and slightly ruined by the searching the MPs had done when they had come looking for them. Levi’s orders were clear. _Clean this mess up._ He only wished they’d actually do it right _this time_.

Nathalie and Levi returned back to Trost where they finally had that _talk_ with Erwin that he had promised them. Erwin was staring at his bookcase when the two of them entered his office. His hands, caught in each other, resting back. A pile of paperwork for him to fill and Nathalie was sure that Levi had an identical one delivered to his own office. He only frowned at the sight of it.

Erwin heard them as they walked right in. Nathalie was still in that grey skirt and her white shirt. The only thing missing was that cloth that she had put around her hair in the morning and that was only for the case of cooking Levi’s breakfast in the morning back in Orvud. But for now, her hair were a gorgeous mess that barely reached just above he shoulders. Those beautiful strands of hair landed on her forehead, and her glasses that rested at the bridge of her nose, they did nothing but add to her breathtaking beauty. The moment Erwin turned and looked at her, the only thing he could see was _her. Perfect._ In every way. Perfect in brains, body, beauty, personality. _Everything._

He was once again reminded and saddened that she wasn’t his. Her words echoed in his mind ever since she had told him. _I’m sorry. I’m engaged._ By the looks of it, she had most possibly noticed his _crush_ on her, although Erwin wouldn’t call it just a mere _crush._ If it was a crush, then it had lasted long enough to worry him. He knew beyond doubt, that what he felt for her was more than a _crush._ Crushes were just newfound feelings for _children._ He was no child. He recognised a feeling when he felt one.

Erwin smiled at the couple, even though he knew there was no way Levi would ever return the smile. He had only seen Levi smile once, or -in a very unseen occasion- maybe _twice_ and Nathalie would have to be there and be the source of that smile on the lips of the most stubborn, emotionless man, that Erwin had ever known. He shouldn’t blame him. Erwin was emotionless enough himself. Or at least, he was passionate enough about his _dreams only and nothing more._

“I want to congratulate you two for your engagement,” Erwin said as he carried a book to his desk.

It was beyond doubt that Erwin too was a bookworm, much like Nathalie. He would read, and read, _and read_ trying to _devour_ all the knowledge that he could get his hands on, and he knew that Nathalie was the same. He found biology _fascinating_ but she had studied it and they had had so many interesting conversations on titan biological facts. 

Still, it wasn’t just a surprise, it almost felt like an _explosion_ blowing right in front of his face when she told him _I’m sorry, I’m engaged._ But he shouldn’t be surprised. That night in that cell where he held her, no matter how much in pain he was that night, it almost felt like a _dream._

“Just get to the point,” Levi said before Nathalie had the chance to open her lips and form a _thanks._

“I wish to apologise, about what happened,” Erwin sat down on his chair, and the other two sat down on the other two chairs that rested in front of his desk. “Levi was right. It was my fault what happened to you, Nathalie. You were tortured because I was selfish enough to get you involved in all this. The loss of your child is one of the many guilts that I shall carry on my shoulders,”

Nathalie sighed deeply. Levi rested a hand on the back of the chair and he only _tsk­_ -ed in response. He looked away from the man and into some random spot on the floor. At least, he was admitting it.

“It’s alright,” Nathalie said reassuringly. “Levi and I talked it through and we’ll not blame you, Commander-”

“Say it,” Levi cut her, but she could tell he wasn’t addressing to her. His grey sharp eyes finally found Erwin’s and the Commander knew right away what his comrade was talking about. “C’mon. It’s obvious. Just admit it already,”

Erwin sighed. Tired eyes closed briefly. He was never a man to hide. He was never one to run away and leave problems unsolved. “I like you, Nathalie,” he confessed and her eyes widened. She knew it, but hearing it coming from him was something else. “I really do, just because you’re not giving me any reasons not to,” Erwin’s eyes met her own, and she drowned in their cerulean colour. “You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met, Nathalie Burgess, and I’m not talking about your mysterious origins, neither that brilliance of yours that never ceases to amaze me. It’s just _you_ ,”

“C- Commander… I- I…” Nathalie could not find the words.

She honestly never thought she was _that_ beautiful for two men to like her at once. _Heck,_ she never thought _anybody_ would _ever_ like her. She hated her body. She hated her mind. She hated herself because she never was _enough_. But now _this._ Listening to that all it made her wonder. _What the hell?_ Erwin didn’t know her as much as Levi did, but he was smart enough to assume things, and assume them correctly. 

“And what about you, Nathalie? How do you feel?” Erwin asked and the question caught her by surprise.

 _What do I feel?_ She never got to pay much thought into it, when Levi finally turned at the Commander. His fingers clenched around the wooden arms of his chair. _Where_ was the _bastard_ going with this?!

“How did you feel the night of our imprisonment, in our shared cell? How did you feel when I held you?” Erwin asked. Fingers now tightly clenched around each other as he rested his hands on his desk in front of him, impatiently anticipating her answer. When he told her of the possibilities of him dying, and she had immediately grasped his shirt and cried out _No!_ Did she not feel anything at all? 

Levi’s eyes widened. He turned at Nathalie. She looked equally as shocked as he was. _No._ Levi was just _scared_ but _furious_ nonetheless. “What does he mean by that?!”

Nathalie could not form an answer. That night flashed back to her and she tried to remember how she had actually felt. Erwin’s arms around her. Her body against his own. Both in pain, but together, and that helped them cope. Levi’s hand caught her elbow and drew her back in reality. His fingers dug harshly into her skin even above her sleeve. It _hurt_. She winced, but she did not complain. He just needed her attention. He just needed her to explain _what the fuck_ it was that Erwin was talking about. She couldn’t have let this man _hold her_ , _could she?_ She couldn’t have _allowed_ this man to _touch_ her, _right?_ _Right?!_

She only had to deny it. Even if she was going to lie, Levi would still believe it. “Say something, dammit!” Levi growled.

Erwin’s eyes widened. He raised a hand to stop him from hurting her. “Levi, please-”

“Nothing,” Nathalie said and both fell quiet. Levi’s hold around her elbow loosened slightly. She turned and looked at Erwin. “I felt _nothing,_ ” She scoffed. “What did you want me to feel? Love? Compassion? Sympathy?” Nathalie turned at Levi and she nodded at him. “Yes, I let him hold me, but I was in pain, I was bleeding. I was pregnant to our child, and I was missing you, Levi, and I thought I was never going to see you again, I was _terrified_ …” her voice trembled. She turned at Erwin with shiny eyes filled with tears that she wasn’t allowing to drop. “…and you offered me your comfort when I needed it most and what did you expect me to do? Push you away? I was so weak and so much in pain, I couldn’t even move,” Nathalie snatched her hand away from Levi’s and she stood up. “Don’t use that weak, vulnerable moment I had so that you can _break_ what Levi and I have now. I accepted your comfort. You’re not making me fall for you by making me regret it,”

Nathalie rushed out of the room. She stormed out and shut the door behind her. She had nothing else to say. She never thought Erwin would use that moment that had transpired between them, just to break what she and Levi had. She could never believe that Erwin would use her _helplessness_ and her _pain_ , just to make her his _own._ She knew better than to fall for that. She wasn’t a brainless little woman who needed a guy to help her stand on her feet and face this world. She’d never allow herself to be _used._ She had a personality. She had feelings. She wasn’t _blank._ That was _infuriating._ It infuriated her and she had no way to take the anger out but _cry._

Tears were finally allowed to stream down her cheeks when she pressed her back against the closed, wooden door of the Commander’s office. _How_ _could he?!_ How was she going to explain to Levi that he was her _one and only_ after what Erwin had just said? After what _she_ had just said?

 _Oh God,_ it was all ruined, wasn’t it? She was going to lose Levi and what they had. Nathalie ran down the hall. She ran downstairs stumbling over soldiers or secretaries, or employees that worked in the Survey Corps HQ. She didn’t care. She had to get out of there. She never thought she was so good at _running._ She had work to do in the labs, but she didn’t care.

Experiments could wait. They had at least a month -and maybe more- till the Expedition to retake Wall Maria was to come. Nathalie got on a horse and she rode away. She didn’t even know whose horse that was. Was it Levi’s? Was it some random soldier’s? She didn’t know, she didn’t have her own horse anymore. She didn’t care. She just needed to get out of there.

She needed to feel the wind as it brushed violently on her face and pushed her hair back. Her glasses were resting neatly on top of her nose, allowing her to see the greenery outside Trost in detail. Dusk was slowly arriving. The purple of the dying sun merged beautifully with the blue of the sky.

Another tear slipped down her cheek, but it was dried off by the wind around her as she rode away. She just wanted to get away from this and from everything. 


	53. Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehehehe you guys are gonna loooove this chapter! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and for all that great support!
> 
> Enjoy! 😘

Nathalie returned back to the small establishment that housed the Special Operations Squad. The kids were there. Connie and Jean were chopping firewood and Sasha was practicing her aiming skills, shooting arrows on a target that she had set nearby. Nathalie was willing to bet, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were inside making dinner. She should probably go help them.

Historia was sent to the Capital to learn the _nobility’s_ manners and other things that Nathalie barely knew about. Her coronation was to take place two days from now and the people in the Capital had started making the proper preparations for the crowning ceremony and the celebrations afterward. Rumour said that the celebrations were to last _a week._

Nathalie unmounted her horse and she settled it at the small stable to eat hay and drink water before she returned to the kids. They stopped what they were doing and they turned to welcome her with their smiles.

“Hey, Nat!”

“How come you return earlier than the Captain?” Jean asked as he rested a hand on his waist.

The boys didn’t seem to have noticed it. Nathalie was fairly certain the wind had dried off her tears, but Sasha was much less oblivious than the other two. Sasha only gasped. Her hands found Nathalie’s shoulders, grasping tightly.

“Were you crying?!” Sasha cried out worriedly.

“What?!” Connie cried out confusedly. His hand found Nathalie’s shoulder. “Are you okay? What happened?!”

“Did that smug midget hurt you?!” Jean cried out angrily. “If so, he and I are gonna have some words when he gets back,”

“There’s no way any of us has the guts to have _a few words_ with Captain Levi,” Connie grinned.

“It’s alright, guys, I’m- I’m fine,” It came out way more pathetic than she hoping it to be. _Oh, fuck it._ She had no reason to hide in front of those kids. The rest of her tears came running down her cheeks and Sasha pulled her immediately into a hug. Sasha’s hand frantically stroked on her back, not really knowing what to do as Nathalie sobbed on her shoulder.

Before she even knew it, the kids had brought her inside, and they were eating the soup that Mikasa with Armin and Eren had prepared. They were all making questions and she was helplessly answering. She told them about Erwin, and Levi, and the conversation that she had run off from. She knew Levi would probably _kill_ her for filling them in with their _love-life._ Or at least, the _appropriate_ parts of it. _Well,_ he was going to _kill her_ anyway at this point. Still, no matter how long they talked, it got late in the night and it was time to go to bed.

“You’re sure you don’t want to sleep with us tonight?” Sasha asked. “We got enough hay to make a matt! C’mon, it’ll be no trouble,” She suggested. Eyes wide and excited.

“That’s a great idea, you can tell us stories of how the Captain was when he was little,” Jean raised an eyebrow with a sly smile.

Eren laughed. “Oh boy, what wouldn’t I give to know if he’s ever gotten his bed wet,” He grinned and Nathalie could do nothing but laugh.

“Wait! Has he?!” Connie cried out.

“No way!” Armin said. Eyes wide in surprise.

Nathalie’s hand clutched on her stomach as she laughed hard enough to hurt. “I’m sorry, kids, but Levi never wetted his bed,”

Everybody groaned in disappointment. “Aw man, why isn’t there something to shame him about?!” Jean asked irritatingly.

“As a matter of fact, the whole twenty-five years I’ve known him, there’s absolutely nothing that I can say it’s embarrassing,” Nathalie’s hand found her chin and she rubbed thoughtfully.

“Wait! Twenty-five years?!” Sasha asked surprised.

“Just how old is the Captain?” Connie asked confusedly.

“That’s what I’ve been wondering. Rumour has it he’s over forty-years-old,” Armin said. Nathalie started laughing again. Everybody saw Levi as the oldest one around and she always wondered why. Maybe it was his calm, mature composure and the skills that could only match a very experienced soldier’s.

“Then he’s too old for you,” Jean said disapprovingly turning at Nathalie.

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. “Really? How old do you think I am, Jean?”

“Well… you said you’ve known him twenty-five years so I guess you’re… twenty-eight?” Jean asked.

Nathalie nodded. “That’s very close,”

“OH! I bet you’re thirty-years-old!” Sasha suggested.

“That’s still pretty close,” Nathalie pointed at her.

“What if you’re… thirty-five?” Eren guessed and Nathalie laughed.

“That’s… _not_ so close,” Nathalie hinted.

“So, it’s definitely below thirty,” Armin said.

Nathalie raised an eyebrow as all the kids fell in silence as they tried to think. “Should I just say it or are you guys gonna figure it out?”

Connie scratched his head. “I dunno. I honestly thought you were twenty-five or something,”

Jean groaned impatiently. “Just say it already!”

“Ooh! And say how old the Captain is! I wanna know!” Sasha cried out.

Nathalie grinned. “Okay. Captain Levi is thirty-years-old, and I’m twenty-nine,”

“WHAT?!”

“Just thirty?!”

“He looks way older,”

“Man, I thought he was forty-five or something!”

“So, how did you two meet?” Sasha asked curiously. “No, wait, does it involve food? Cause if it doesn’t, I don’t care,”

Jean groaned. “C’mon, Sasha, not everything has to involve food,”

“Yes, it does!”

“Well, I’ll disappoint you, it doesn’t involve food,” Nathalie said and Sasha groaned.

“Of course, it doesn’t, you dumbass,” Jean said turning at Sasha. “They were in the Underground, they barely had anything to eat,”

“Ooh! Right,” Sasha gritted her teeth. “Sorry, Nathalie,” 

Nathalie chuckled. “No problem,” But before they had the chance to make more questions, she cut them. “Now, now, time for bed. It has gotten pretty late I assume, and we got training tomorrow,” She reminded them and Jean groaned in irritation.

“Can we not? Please?” Jean asked.

Nathalie could more than understand him. _Thankfully_ , she was going to be the one to train them, and they’d get to avoid Levi’s harsh training. _At least,_ for tomorrow. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you kids need to be prepared for the battle in Shiganshina. The Commander is predicting a great deal of things that can happen when we get there,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

It was difficult to laugh and keep a straight face. But she couldn’t have them watching her as she’d cry. _Sure_ , talking to them about it had really helped. But still, when Nathalie retreated back to their room, and she closed the door, and she pressed her back against the wooden door, she just realised how empty the room could be without him. Levi hadn’t yet arrived and it was pretty late in the night. She only hoped he was okay.

 _No, it’s Levi,_ she was _sure_ he was okay. There was nothing in Trost -or anywhere at this point- that could threaten him. But she only feared something worse. _Levi_ spending the night _with someone else._ There were lots of whores lurking at this time in the streets of Trost, and Levi was probably mad at her. He wasn’t going to come back home tonight, was he? Nathalie just let her body slip down. Back against the wall and feet gathered against her chest.

That was exactly why she never wanted relationships. That was exactly why she never wanted to open her heart to anyone. She knew the most frequent part into a relationship was _pain_ and _disappointment._ But she wouldn’t blame him. She was the one who had disappointed him.

She didn’t blame Erwin either. He had indeed taken advantage of that helpless, vulnerable position that she was in, back in that cell, and he had brought her close, offering his _comfort._ She regretted accepting it and letting him hold her, but part of her knew she wouldn’t have made out without it. Not without those promises that he had made and he had kept true to his word.

But she had hurt Levi. She had hurt him. _Again._ As if breaking her promise and leaving him that night to wallow in despair wasn’t enough. Nathalie buried her face in her hands. Tears slipped down her cheeks. Hurting Levi was just the same as hurting herself -if not, worse. She didn’t know what she was going to tell him if he got back and looked at her in the eye. He was going to be furious. Or worse, he was going to be _cold._

 _Cold,_ and _ruthless._ He played well the part of the _cold_ and _ruthless_ man who felt nothing and didn’t care about anything and anyone. She could always see through that act, but if he pulled it up with her, he was going to become so foreign. Levi _becoming foreign to her_. _Untouchable_. That was a thought that was so, so _terrifying._ After all these years of being close, she couldn’t watch him whilst he’d _push her away._

“Oi,”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. She pulled her face from her arms and she looked up at him. She wiped her tears right away and her body almost started trembling. He had his hands tucked in the pockets of his black pants. He was still wearing the black jacket on top, and the ascot that she had tied for him the same morning. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He had that cold look on his face as he stared down at her. His eyes, _unreadable_. It frightened her.

Levi sighed and he took off his jacket, hanging it from the wooden coat-stand nearby. “Get up off the floor. You’ll catch a cold,” He walked towards the nearby mirror. There wasn’t much light. Only the one coming from the oil lamp that he had brought with him. It was enough to help him untie his ascot from around his neck. “You took my horse,” he said, seeing as he wasn’t receiving an answer from his previous statement.

“Oh,” Nathalie buried her face back in her arms and she remained seated and curled up like that onto the cold floor. “I’m sorry,”

Levi pulled off his ascot with a jerk, and he started untying the buttons of his white shirt. “I took Erwin’s,” He said. “Which I believe was yours,” He looked at her reflection through the mirror. She was still there on the floor, and there was no doubt she was crying. He hated watching her like that.

Levi stopped untying his shirt halfway down his chest, and he sighed once more. She wasn’t going to get up off the floor, was she? He could tell what she was thinking. He could tell she was blaming herself. Nathalie always threw the blame on herself, something that he had tried so hard to avoid from happening by choosing to always be the one to _lead_ and hold all responsibility for everything.

Strong arms slipped beneath her and picked her up with ease. There was no way he was letting her sit on the floor. There was no way he was letting her cry herself to sleep. He knew exactly what was wrong. He knew exactly who was to blame, and _it wasn’t her_. He settled her gently down on the mattress and he sat beside her. A hand reached for her cheeks, wiping away her tears with the back of his fingers.

Nathalie’s hand reached for his own, urging him to cup her face. His rough thumb brushed gently across her wet cheek. He could tell her hands were cold and trembling. She was scared. She always trembled when she was scared. He clicked his tongue in displeasure.

“You? Scared of me? Of all people,” Levi leaned in, pressing a tender kiss on her forehead. He heard her sigh out in relief. He pulled back just to look at her.

“Are we not going to talk about… today?”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “You wanna talk about how I almost gave Erwin a black eye?”

At that, the trembling stopped instantly. Her eyes widened as she looked up at him in utter confusion. “…what?”

Levi’s hands reached for her glasses, pulling them off and placing them on the bedside table. “We didn’t put up much of a show but… I would’ve gotten for his eye if Hange hadn’t stopped me,” He groaned in irritation, wishing once again that Hange _hadn’t_ stopped him.

“So, you two… beat each other up… for me?” Nathalie asked confusedly. There was no way this was happening. There was no way this was _real_. Having Commander Erwin and Captain Levi fighting over her like _children_ _who couldn’t split a candy._

“No,” Levi’s hands reached for the rest of the buttons of his shirt, and he started unbuttoning them blindly. “ **I** beat **_him_** up, for using **_you_** in such a _fucked-up_ situation,”

She couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t mad at her? He wasn’t furious? He wasn’t thinking of turning cold and pushing her away, _was he?_ A smile spread across her lips. Relief washed over her chest. Levi was smart too. She should never doubt that.

“I just need to make one thing sure,” Levi said. His shirt finally open. All buttons untied. He turned his attention at her. A hand cupped her cheek. “Are you sure you still want this, Nat? _Us?_ Are you sure you want to spend all your days waking up beside a short, cocky, possessive, ugly, bastard like me?”

She turned and pressed a kiss on the rough thumb that was stroking her cheek. “Of course, I do,” She cupped his face. She chuckled. “And you’re none of that, Levi,”

A smile flashed across his lips and she cursed the darkness and her poor eyesight for not being able to see it clearly. He pressed his forehead against her own. Breaths merged together softly.

“I love you,” Nathalie cupped his face with both hands. “I love you so much,”

Levi caught her lips in his own. Hands clutched around her clothes. _Of course_ , he believed her. Nathalie _loved_ _him_. Nathalie had chosen _him_. He felt proud of that. Nathalie was _his_ and she always had been. He was going to keep it that way.

“I love you too,” He moaned in her mouth. Her fingers found his hair and he shuddered. “You’re mine,” He growled in her mouth. “ _Mine,”_ Arms tightened around her as he picked her up and settled her on his lap. Her knees, planted in each side of his waist as she straddled him. An arm remained tight around her, the other found her cheek to cup her face. He pulled from the kiss. His eyes met her own. “Marry me, Nat. Tomorrow, right here. No dress, no suits. You, me, and our brats,”

Her eyes widened. Hands snuck beneath his unbuttoned shirt. Palms rested flat on his bare chest. “T- Tomorrow…?!”

“Hange is a Section Commander. It is very well within her jurisdiction to foresee such ceremony,” Levi buried his face in her neck and her fingers found his hair. He closed his eyes. “Let’s not wait until after we retake Wall Maria,” His hands tightened around her. “I don’t know whether we’ll survive the next Expedition-”

“We will,” She cupped his face urging him to pull back and look at her. “We will, Levi, you don’t have to-” but he cut her.

“Let’s not wait to find out,”

Foreheads pressed against each other. Breaths merged. Lips, only a few inches apart. He was right. The next Expedition was going to be a _mess._ That was why Erwin had ordered large amounts of that serum to be prepared and handed to every single Scout. But Levi was right.

She did not need a fancy dress. He did not need a fancy suit. They had no one to invite but Hange, Moblit, and their _brats._ It didn’t have to be anybody else. She could tell they both didn’t want _anybody_ else. The only thing they cared about was getting married. Levi was right. Nothing guaranteed that they’d make it out of the next Expedition alive. They should just seal their bond before death can come and break it apart.

Nathalie nodded, with a smile on her face. It was sudden. It wasn’t the wedding that she had imagined. _No._ She hadn’t imagined getting married _at all_. But she _was_ getting married. _Tomorrow._ All so plain and simple. No dresses, no suits, no expensive food to be served afterward. No celebrations. _You, me, and our brats_. She wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Alright. I’ll marry you tomorrow, Mr. Ackerman,”

Now she was close enough to see his smile. It melted her heart right away. He caught her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “A wise **choice** , _Mrs_. Ackerman,”


	54. Dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are either gonna hate me, or Erwin 🤣
> 
> Here's a big ass 5,2k word chap full of fun and angst!
> 
> Enjoy! 😁😘

The next day dawned faster than she expected. She felt rough fingers gently brushing over her exposed shoulder. She was in her white, baggy, sleeveless nightgown. Levi was in comfortable black sweatpants. He needed no shirt to sleep in. Her cheek pressed flat on top of his bare chest, and an arm was thrown across his belly, keeping her body pressed against his own.

Nathalie felt the warmth of his lips as he pressed a kiss on her temple, and his one hand slipped around her waist, sneaking slightly beneath the soft fabric of her gown. Rough fingers brushed gently across her soft skin. She looked so peaceful there, in his arms. Eyes closed. Her face, totally at peace. Her hair, a beautiful, pale-brown mess. Pink lips pressed together. Soft, and puffy. _Perfect._ He was going to marry her _today_. He wanted no huge ceremonies and luxurious buildings. No grand celebrations and no countless guests. He wanted none of these. Just him and her and their brats. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how they were going to react when Hange and Moblit were going to show up unannounced.

Levi had told Hange yesterday before he left the Survey Corps HQ. The way Hange screamed in his ear from the excitement, he’d never forget it. Of course, he knew he had to ask Nathalie first, but he never doubted that she’d agree. Still, he couldn’t help staring down at her. The blue, early morning light entered through the window. A soft breeze danced with the curtain, and it almost felt like he was living into a _dream._ Levi couldn’t imagine how _miserable_ and _depressing_ his life would be if he had lost her. The night he helplessly _watched_ as Kenny and his soldiers took her away, was the worst night he could remember living through in that _wretched_ life of his.

They had been through _hell_ , but she was always there to make that hell sometimes even _sweeter_ than _paradise_. And it felt just like it right now. _I love you. I love you so much._ Her words from last night will always echo in his mind whenever he’d need to keep himself _sane._ He had her and their brats to look after. These were his reasons to remain _sane_ in such an _insane_ world.

He was snatched out of his thoughts when she pressed a kiss down on his bare chest. She pressed kisses in his neck, all the way up to his sharp chin, till she found his lips. She was finally awake. She left a peck on his lips and she smiled down at him.

“Good morning,” Nathalie said sweetly. A hand slipped away from his chest and cupped his cheek. He smiled up at her as well. His smiles. They suited him so well. He would only smile in front of her like this.

“Good morning, Nat,” His hand found her face. A rough thumb caught her cheek and urged her to lean down and finally join their lips into a proper kiss. His tongue slipped right in. He gave her own a gentle swirl that had her humming. Eyes closed. He had never kissed her as soft as this time. Just a tender press of his lips against her own.

The couple about to get married spent the night before their marriage together. It was probably so _damn_ undignified. Nathalie hadn’t even realised she was getting married _today_ to the man who now had her beneath him. His limbs were planted all around her, pressing down with his weight on the mattress. His mouth had let go of her own, and he was now pressing kisses and nips down the smooth skin of her neck.

Her fingers found his hair. She bit her lip when he added another bitemark to her skin. His tongue snaked out, slipping gently around the bite and that’s when the realisation _actually_ hit her. Her eyes widened.

“Levi?”

He only hummed in response. His mouth, too busy with kissing her white, soft skin. Hands reached down, pushing her gown up and reaching for her body beneath.

“We’re… we’re getting married… _today_ ,”

He hummed again. He only continued kissing and suckling on her skin. It drove her insane at how good he was at this, _but…_

“We’re getting _married!”_

At that, he finally lifted his head off of her neck. Eyes met her own. Wet lips parted. “I heard you, I’m not deaf,” He said sarcastically.

Nathalie frowned. _What’s wrong with him?!_ “Don’t you think we should- uh… start… _panicking_ about it?”

“There are no arrangements to make. No stupid guests to welcome. Why should we panic?” Levi raised an eyebrow.

Nathalie realised he was making a pretty good point. “Do the kids know?”

Levi shook his head “They’ll find out when Hange and Moblit arrive,” He buried his face back in her neck and he lied back down beside her.

He just wanted her to hold him for now, and she did not disappoint. Now his cheek was pressing against her own chest. His nose nuzzled in her skin and his one arm was thrown around her making sure to keep her close. Making sure she wouldn’t _leave_ and go anywhere. He knew she’d _never_ leave. But it was just an instinct. Everyone that he had ever loved had _died_ or _left._ But _her. Nathalie. His_ Nathalie. He’d never _allow_ her to leave. He remembered the night they took her. _Never again._

If he had lost her, no one would be holding him now. He’d have no one to clutch onto. No one to caress his hair, and wrap their arms around him. He’d have _no one._ And the thought of ever even getting married would be long gone for good. But now he had her. She was there. She was holding him. She pressed kisses on his temple and he could do nothing but close his eyes.

His hand slipped on her belly. Fingers slipped beneath her short gown and he touched her skin. He couldn’t believe there was life in there a few days back. And that life held a part of his own. But they had now lost it and he never thought the loss of someone he never knew could still hurt so much. Her hand found his own on her belly, and he laced their fingers together.

Nathalie breathed shakily. She could tell what he was thinking. “I- I’m so sorry, Levi,” Her voice trembled. She hadn’t properly apologised.

Levi lifted his face off her chest and he looked at her. She gave him a bitter smile. Her eyes shined with tears. _No…_ he didn’t want to see her cry. He cupped her cheek. “It wasn’t your fault, Nat,”

“It was… If I had known… I- If I hadn’t given myself in then maybe I wouldn’t have… We wouldn’t have-”

It was so hard to say it, and he didn’t want her to say it. He could tell she wanted this. He could tell he wanted it too. But they could move on. He didn’t want to hear her talk about how she had failed about something that really wasn’t her fault. His thumb found her lips and he shushed her. Levi leaned closer and he kissed her eyelids, wiping away the tears before they’d get the chance to slip down. He couldn’t begin to imagine in how much fear and in how much pain she must’ve been the day he found her in the hospital.

“It wasn’t your fault, you hear me? It was mine. I let you. I let them take you,” Levi pressed his forehead against her own. “I didn’t protect you like I was supposed to,”

“Stop taking all the blame,” Nathalie said. She had figured him out, hadn’t she? _Of course,_ she had. She knew him so well. He’d always get the blame so that she wouldn’t have to. “I asked you to let me help you carry your burdens, didn’t I?”

He bit his tongue. “And I asked you to never leave my side,” He buried his face back in her neck and he sighed. “I guess we both break our promises. But after we get married today…” he planted a rough bite in her skin that made her gasp. “…you’ll be _mine. Mine_ to _command_ and _protect_ ,” He licked the new bite and she squirmed at the stinging pain. He looked up at her “You’ll only do as I say, understand?”

 _Oh God,_ she was going to lose so much of her _control_ in this _damned_ relationship _._ But so long as it pleased him, it was alright. She was _his. His to command_ and _protect._ Just as he had said. _Possessive_ bastard. She couldn’t believe his possessiveness turned her on. “Yes… yes… _yours_. I’ve always had been,”

He smirked. It sounded so _perfect_ coming from her. He should marry her while he still had her. He buried his face back in her neck and he sighed, closing his eyes. He had given it a lot of thought. They should make the best of what they had whilst they still had each other. _Who knows_ what was going to happen in the next Expedition. Levi wasn’t particularly fond of Erwin, but the man knew _exactly_ how to strategize and predict, and plan things down to the tiniest detail.

He felt another soft kiss pressed down on his temple. A tender thumb found his cheek. “Stop thinking,” She said.

She knew him so well. She could tell from the way he clutched on her. From the way he buried his face in her neck and he shut his eyes, thinking of nothing but the worst outcomes. Levi always overthought _everything_. He’d always keep quiet because his mind was always so _damn_ loud. But she was always there to remind him that he should just _stop_ overthinking and _torturing_ his mind. What was he going to do without her? No one had her patience. Her kindness. Her tenderness.

“So precious,” He whispered against her skin. He pressed another kiss down on her chest that was exposed by her gown. He pressed another kiss and another, and he repeated the same two words again and again. It earned him a giggle that jumped through her chest and echoed sweetly in his ears.

She cupped his face and urged him to look up at her. Magnificent blue eyes caught his own. Lips, only just a few inches apart. A smile spread across her lips. The smile that made his heart flutter. “You’re precious to me too, Levi,”

He never thought anybody would ever say that to him. _Him._ The man everybody was so scared to be around. The most _ruthless_ Captain of the Scouts. So emotionless and heartless. She was the only one who could see right through the act that he put up. He could’ve caught her lips and he could have had her right there. He’d make her _scream_ and _beg_ and he’d barely care about the _brats_ listening from downstairs. But a knock came on the door.

“Uh, sir, Nat, Section Commander Hange, and Moblit are here,” Armin’s voice came from the outside. Levi groaned in irritation and buried his face in her neck. “Uh, sir, they’re talking about a… a wedding?”

“You answer,” He mumbled against her skin and Nathalie rolled her eyes. _Of course._

“W- We’ll be right there, darling!” Nathalie said.

“Okay, we’ll wait!” Armin left and Nathalie turned and looked at Levi who just didn’t seem to want to get off of her. His face, still in her neck. A hand on her hip. He was in _denial_ , wasn’t he? He just wanted to spend an entire day on the bed _with her. Is that too much to ask?_ Apparently, _it is._ He frowned. Still, it was his idea to get married _today_ so _suddenly._

“You know, I can’t get dressed if you’re on top of me,” Nathalie grinned. Her fingers were still in his hair, caressing soothingly.

He sighed in her neck. “If you keep stroking my hair like that, there’s no way I’m getting off of you,” He mumbled and she grinned.

A harsh smack landed down on his shoulder and his eyes shot open. It didn’t hurt, but it was sudden, and something he definitely did not expect from her. He lifted his face off her neck and he looked down at her in utter confusion.

A mischievous smile spread across her lips. “That seems to have worked,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

“What do you mean they’re getting married?!” Jean’s voice came loud from downstairs. “Nat’s been talking to us three hours straight about how much of a jerk the Captain can be,”

“Oh? Did she now?” The Captain’s voice came from behind. Everybody tensed up and Nathalie chuckled nervously as Levi turned and shot her a glare.

“I… have no idea what Jean’s talking about,” Nathalie said and Levi sighed.

“Captain!” Connie cried out. “Is it true what the Section Commander’s saying?!”

“Wait!” Sasha’s eyes widened. She caught Nathalie by her shoulders. “Nathalie! For real??? Today???” She gasped. “Is there gonna be food afterwards?!”

“Isn’t it kind of… rushed?” Armin asked.

“Relax,” Eren placed a hand on Armin’s shoulder. “They’ve known each other for twenty-five years. It’s anything but _rushed,_ ”

Mikasa nodded. “That’s true,”

Nathalie opened her mouth to speak and but Hange cut her. Hange ran towards the couple and pulled them both in a tight, suffocating hug. “OH MY GOD, IT’S HAPPENING!” Her hands only tightened around their necks and for a moment Nathalie couldn’t breathe. “It’s happening, it’s happening, IT’S HAPPENING!”

“Hange! You’re gonna choke them both!” Moblit cried out as he rushed towards the three and pulled Hange away. Levi was very close to kneeing Hange in the stomach, but _thank goodness_ Moblit was there to restrain the mad scientist. “Have you no restraint at all?! They need to be _actually_ alive for their wedding,”

“I’M SORRY, IT’S SO… so…” Hange started crying before she pulled Nathalie in a tight hug and sobbed on her shoulder. “I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO! You should’ve seen how Levi launched on Erwin last night…” she pulled back. “…IT WAS EPIC!”

“Whoah! Whoah! Wait! What did we miss?!” Jean cried out, eyes widened.

“You mean, the Commander and the Captain, they actually-” Eren tried to say only for Connie to cut him.

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

Levi rubbed his temple. He was already getting a headache. “Connie, quit your blubbering. No one’s fighting right now,” He groaned in irritation.

“Sasha! Stop eating our breakfast!” Jean cried out as he snatched the girl off the kitchen counter, where there were the bread and a jar of strawberry jam that Nathalie had made a few weeks back.

“I WASN’T EATING!” Sasha cried out incoherently with her mouth full and Armin with Connie started scolding her.

“So, wait, if Nat’s getting married, then somebody’s gotta walk her down the aisle,” Eren said. His hand found his chin.

“And of course, that’s gotta be me,” Jean said with a smirk.

“As if! If someone’s closer to Nat, it’s me!” Connie cried out, as he stopped scolding Sasha and focused on the much more pressing matter at hand.

“You two, back off!” Eren growled pointing at his two friends. “I’ll walk her down the aisle!”

“No fucking way!”

“Nat likes me more!” Jean cried out.

“Who the fuck ever said that?!” Eren cried out.

Hange, Moblit, Levi, and Nathalie just stared as the kids groaned and talked all at once. Armin and Mikasa continued scolding Sasha whilst Eren, Connie and Jean were at each other’s throats ready to start fighting and wrecking the kitchen.

Hange cringed. “They’re so… _chaotic_ ,”

Levi groaned. “Tell me about it,” He rubbed his temple once more. “They never listen to me,” He tried to hold back another groan of irritation.

“How do you deal with this?!” Moblit asked confusedly.

Still, Nathalie wrapped a white apron around her waist and approached the kids. She started talking to them and telling them what to do. Hange and Moblit were greatly impressed by the way that Nathalie handled and resolved the _chaos_.

“I don’t. _She_ does,” Levi said. A small smirk spread on his lips. _What the hell_ was he going to do without her?

“Alright, Eren, can you take care of the tea for me?” Nathalie said.

“On it!”

“Mikasa, go grab some firewood for the oven,” Nathalie said and the girl nodded setting off right away. “Jean, grab two plates,”

“Sure!”

“Sasha,” Nathalie turned at the girl who had her face stuffed with another slice of bread. Nathalie laughed and patted the girl’s head. “We’ll bake some more bread afterwards,”

“Sure thing, Nat!”

“We’ll need it if Sasha keeps stuffing her face like that,” Connie frowned.

“Hey!” Sasha complained.

“It’s alright you two,” Nathalie got between them both and she pulled a few teacups from the shelf above them. “Sasha’s going to help me out bake some bread afterwards and she’s going to make up for it,” Nathalie said and Connie’s frown disappeared.

He shrugged. “Sounds fair,”

Nathalie gave them both a pat on their heads, and she carried the teacups on a tray towards the table. She looked at Hange, Moblit, and Levi who were just staring at her for some reason that she couldn’t tell. Nathalie just ignored it.

“Did you guys get some breakfast before coming here?” Nathalie asked turning at Moblit and Hange. Maybe she should add two more cups.

Before Hange and Moblit got to say anything, Levi walked to sit by the head of the table and he spoke. “Come, sit. There’s plenty of tea,”

There’s no way they could refuse that. Everybody sat around the table. Sasha and Connie began stuffing their faces with slices of bread and strawberry jam. Mikasa brought the big kettle that stored the tea and Nathalie helped her serve it all around the teacups that were spread on the table. They talked for a while. Of course, Levi wasn’t the one to speak a lot. He’d just nod and hum in response, or shake his head. Nathalie spoke enough for the two of them.

Hange turned at Moblit who was sitting beside her. She tangled her arm around his own and she pressed some of her weight onto him. “Mobby! Take out the _thing,_ ”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “The _thing?”_

Moblit chuckled as he reached for a pocket on his pants and pulled out a small wooden box. “I took the liberty of becoming your best man,” He said with a smile as he opened the box and revealed the two plain, golden engagement rings.

 _Best man?_ Levi had to admit. He had no idea how weddings were supposed to be carried out. It wasn’t like he had ever thought of getting married. He never even thought he’d find someone so _perfect._

Nathalie gasped. “Oh my! You didn’t have to!”

“Nonsense,” Hange caught Nathalie’s hand from across the table. “Did you two think you could get married without rings?”

Hange had a point. This was all _too_ sudden. They had bought no rings. No preparations. _Heck,_ she didn’t even know what kind of _vows_ she was going to take. Nathalie suddenly panicked and she turned and looked at Levi as he sipped on his tea, calm as ever. _How_ could he be so _fucking_ calm?!

“Uh…” Nathalie tried to figure something out to say. _We are completely unorganised._ She fought back the need to groan, but then the door snapped open and somebody walked in.

“Nathalie! Guys!”

Everybody turned and looked at the golden-haired girl. “Historia!”

Mikasa pulled her in a tight hug and Nathalie jumped off her chair and hurried towards the girl. Historia jumped right into Nathalie’s arms. She looked good. She was in a white shirt and a black skirt. Her hair beautifully tucked back in a braid. The kids stood up to welcome their friend.

“How come you’re here?” Jean asked confusedly. “Your coronation is tomorrow!”

“Who cares?!” Historia cried out. “I’d never miss this for the world! Good thing the Commander was able to notify me,”

Nathalie tensed up. “T- The Commander…?”

“Sir!” Everybody saluted Erwin as he walked in. Nathalie tensed up. Erwin and Levi were already glaring daggers at each other.

Levi clicked his tongue in displeasure as he let his teacup back down on the table a little bit harsher than he was supposed to. “ _Great_ ,” He said sarcastically. “Here for a rematch?”

Hange snickered leaning closer to Moblit. She brought the cup of her tea close to her lips to hide her smile. “This is gonna be good,”

“Section Commander!” Moblit glared at her.

But much to her disappointment, Erwin only chuckled and raised his hand to stop him. “Levi, please, I’m not here to fight,” He said maturely, _as always_.

Levi scoffed. _Bullshit._ The bastard was there to ruin their wedding, _wasn’t he?_

Erwin just gave him a smile. “I only brought Historia, and I will be on my way,”

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Nathalie was waiting outside. She knew Levi and the others were all inside the small chapel. Hange and Moblit had insisted they carried out the wedding there. It was just a small, old abandoned building that stood in the wilderness of Wall Rose. The wide, green hills spread all around, and forests were surrounding them. The breeze was cool on her skin even though it was still evening.

Nathalie tried so hard to think of her vows. She had no one to walk her down the aisle. She had no parents, no father, no relative. Kenny was dead, and even if he was alive, he wasn’t going to attend such a _time-wasting_ event. She was sure he’d consider it _time-wasting. It’s Kenny._ At least, it _was._ She couldn’t tell why she felt a slight emotion of bitterness spreading across her chest when she remembered the fact that Kenny had died whilst she could have saved him. Maybe she just always hoped that her old man was going to change one day. He too was the only father figure that she had ever had.

However, she couldn’t focus on her vows. She could only focus on the fact that Jean, Eren, and Connie had offered to actually walk her down the aisle. The three couldn’t figure out which one was going to do it, so Nathalie suggested they all do it. She giggled. It brought a smile to her face. She loved those kids. She couldn’t imagine what she was going to do if they weren’t around. And Hange and Moblit. They were the best friends that she never thought she would ever have. So thoughtful and caring. They were inside the chapel, and she was waiting outside for Jean, Eren, and Connie to come out.

Nathalie could do nothing but stare at the bright greenery that spread in front of her. The sun was hot, but the breeze did not let her feel warm enough to be uncomfortable in these clothes. She was in plain clothes actually. Clothes that she never thought she’d wear on her wedding day. It was a white, long-sleeved buttoned shirt that was stuffed in a white skirt. The breeze pushed her hair behind her shoulders and she just stared in the distance until something caught her attention.

It was Erwin. He was supposed to have left, just like he had promised them. His hair seemed messy. He wasn’t in the Survey Corp uniform, but he was still wearing that green cloak around him. He was riding on his white horse, and he was riding at her direction. He let the horse nearby. He didn’t tie in anywhere. He didn’t care. His horse could start riding away for all he cared. He just needed to talk to her. He just needed to see her before this was going to take place. Her _wedding_ to another man. That man wasn’t him, and he hated that, but that man could make her happy, and if anything, he was grateful for that.

She was perfect. She wasn’t in some expensive, white dress that most young women wore when they’d get married. She wasn’t in makeup, nor anything like that. The breeze brushed softly against her pale-brown hair. Bright blue eyes stared back from the lenses of her glasses. Pink, soft lips were slightly parted as she watched him rushing towards her. Erwin didn’t know what he was hoping to achieve by being there.

_“How did you feel the night of our imprisonment, in our shared cell? How did you feel when I held you?”_

That was just a _desperate_ attempt he had made, trying to understand whether she felt something. There must have been something. The way she had clutched on him the day when the guards barged in their cell and took him away and tore them apart. There must have been _something_. He wasn’t trying to break the bond between her and Levi. That was an unbreakable bond that his _fancy_ words could never hope breach. But he just needed to know.

Her eyes met his own as she stared up at him. The breeze penetrated his white shirt, and slightly danced with his green cloak. Erwin dropped on one knee and it caught her by surprise. Nathalie made a step back. She gasped. She expected anything but this. 

“Erwin… what are you-”

“I wasn’t trying to use you. I’m not trying to get between you and Levi,” Erwin admitted as he looked up at her and she bit her tongue. He took her one hand in both his own. “But the night I held you…” He gritted his teeth, trying to think of something to say, but he sighed. He couldn’t find the words.

Her small, weak body against his own. His arms around her. They were both in pain that night and it still felt so _magnificent._ He couldn’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel if he held her now. _Right now,_ that neither of them was in pain. That no threats and no fears had emerged just yet.

He shouldn’t be there. He shouldn’t be thinking about this. He shouldn’t be trying to steal her from Levi, but, _alas,_ she could be so _much_ to him. She could be that one person who could hold him in the late hours of the night and she could steal his troubles away. He had no one to play that role. He had no one to hold him. He had no one to talk to. All of his previous friends had died. But then it was _her._ Nathalie. She could be _his._ She could help him carry the burden of his duties. He could have someone to hold and it just had to be her. He _loved her. He did._

And he had figured all these out the night he held her. He never even considered being with someone. The dangers were many. His position could endanger the life of that someone. But she was untouchable. She was so smart, and so strong, and so well trained that her skills surpassed his own in any way. She was so _perfect._ In any way that he looked at her. She was _perfect._

And now he was about to lose that. And he’d be _damned_ if he didn’t do anything about it.

Erwin stared at the white skin of her knuckles. His thumb brushed warmly across the back of her palm. “…the night of our imprisonment… did you not feel anything… at all?”

Nathalie shut her eyes and she shook her head. She didn’t want to look back in those bright blue eyes. She wanted to pull her hand and look away. Look _anywhere_ but him. “Please, Erwin… don’t do this. _Please_ ,” She caught his hand and urged him to stand back up. Her hands found his shirt, grasping on the piece of clothing in the exact same way she had grasped him the night of their imprisonment. His hands slipped around her waist and she did not push him away, but she did have that guilt in her eyes. It was _immense_. She gritted her teeth. “Can’t you see I’m _bound_ to _him?_ I’m so close to having someone as my own-”

“It could’ve been me,” Erwin leaned down to her.

He pressed his forehead against her own and she didn’t know whether she wanted to push him away or just stand there, and allow herself to drown in his eyes. She didn’t know what to do. _Why is he doing this to me?_ Nathalie shook her head and tried to look anywhere. _Anywhere_ but him. She couldn’t have this. She couldn’t fall for him. She couldn’t fall for two people at once, she was getting married. _Fuck._ She was getting _married_. She couldn’t open up like this to anyone else. She just couldn’t. It _wasn’t_ _right_. 

“I’m sorry, Erwin, I didn’t come this far to fall back now,”

Erwin only gave her a painful smile. He caught her chin and he guided her so that he could press a kiss to her forehead, much like he had done a few days back. “I know,” He pulled back to look at her. “I trust that he’ll make you happy, Nathalie, that’s all I wish for you,”

And then, he let go of her and she found her hands still reaching out for him. _Why?_ Why was her heart beating so _damn_ loud? Why didn’t she want him to leave? She hated that look on his face. The one of utter _defeat._ This man had suffered so much. But Levi had suffered so much more, and they both needed someone. They both needed _her_. She gritted her teeth. She couldn’t split herself in two. But she would do it if she could because she couldn't just leave somebody alone when they _needed_ her. Erwin mounted his horse and just before he started riding away, she spoke. And she _hated_ herself for that.

“I _did_ feel something…”

Erwin’s eyes widened. Fingers clenched tightly around the reins of his horse as he turned and looked at her. She took a moment to speak, and it felt like the longest moment he’d waited for in his life.

“…I was… _terrified_ … that I might lose you,” She tried her best to collect her words carefully. As to _why_ she was terrified that day that they dragged him away, she didn’t want to think about it. But if that was what he wanted to hear **to leave** , then she told him and the only response he gave her was a smile before he started riding away. Nathalie just watched him as he vanished in the distance. Hands, cold. She hated herself more than any other time now. _Why_ did she have to say that? _Why?! Why_ was it so important that she give this man hopes when there weren't _any?!_ Why did she bring herself so close to hurting Levi? Why did she allow herself to go this far? She jumped at the sound of Connie’s voice coming from behind.

“Nat! You ready to go?” 

She looked down at her hand that Erwin was previously holding. She was going to put a ring on her finger. She was going to get married and be wholly committed to one and only man. A man that she loved with her whole heart.

But was she ready for that?


	55. Mr. And Mrs. Ackerman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, y'all!!! I tried to make things as realistic as possible. I hope Levi's on character ahahah
> 
> You lucky hoes, this is a 4k word chapter with smut that I just finished editing right now at 2am ahahah 👌
> 
> Hope you like it! Lemme know if you did! Thanks for all those Kudos and all those incredible Comments that keep me writing this story 😘
> 
> Enjoy! ❤

Ready or not, Nathalie walked down the aisle. She tried to forget what had happened. She tried to forget it all. It was just him. _Levi._ No one else was meant for her. She just had to convince herself and everything was going to be fine. _So precious_ he had called her, but she was no precious at all. _At all._ She was so close to hurting him. _No._ She wasn’t going to allow herself to do that. She was _never_ going to allow herself to hurt Levi.

She loved Levi. _Nobody else_. And he loved her. And it was just the two of them, and he stared at her as she approached him with their _brats_ all around her. Even though she wasn’t dressed in anything out of the ordinary, he still stared at her as if she was. As if she was the only person in the room. And he was the only person in the room for her too. There should be _no other_. He was _breathtaking._ His black jacket, the white shirt, the white ascot that she had tied for him. His hair that messily fell on his forehead and that handsome undercut that always suited him so well.

 _Perfect._ Perfect and _her_ _own_. _All_ her own.

“There, there,” Connie said with a large smile as he let go of Nathalie’s hand when they reached Hange, Levi, and Moblit who were waiting.

Jean passed an arm around her shoulders and he turned at Levi. “You better take good care of her, Captain, ya hear me?”

Before Levi could open his mouth to speak. Nathalie messed Jean’s hair and the boy groaned in frustration. “Thank you, Jeanieeee, you’re so sweet!”

Eren turned a laugh into a cough. “JEANIE!”

Everybody started laughing and a bright blush spread across Jean’s cheeks. “Nathalie!” he growled and he shot her a glare.

Nathalie turned at the others who were clutching on their stomachs, laughing. They were sitting around the few, wooden seats in the chapel. She smacked Eren’s shoulder. “No bullying on Jean!” Nathalie cried out sternly and everybody stopped laughing.

“Yes, ma’am!”

Nathalie smiled as she passed a hand around Levi’s and they both turned at Hange who was crying _again._ She sniffled as she grabbed Moblit’s hand and wiped her nose on his sleeve. Moblit’s eyes widened.

“Hange! What the hell are you doing?!” He snatched his hand back right away, but then she grasped him from his jacket and brought him close.

“DON’T YOU SEE HOW CUTE THEY ARE?! They’re both so TINY!” Hange buried her face in his neck and she sobbed against it, pulling her glasses on her forehead. “I can’t believe the time has come for them to get married and I can’t believe I am the one who’s going to get them married, can’t you see how wholesome this is?! How am I supposed to stop crying?! Oh, my fucking-”

Levi cleared his throat. “We’re waiting,” he reminded her.

“Do you want _me_ to do it, Hange?” Moblit rubbed his Section Commander’s back, but she pulled away immediately.

“FUCK NO, I’LL DO IT!” Hange cleared her throat and pulled her glasses back in place. “We’re gathered here today to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, and to cherish the words which shall unite Levi Ackerman and Nathalie Burgess in marriage. Marriage is the promise between two people, who love and trust and honour each other, and who want to spend of their lives together and _blah blah blah_ , LET’S SPEED RUN TO THE VOWS, SHALL WE?! Ladies first,”

And that’s where Nathalie panicked. She hadn’t _thought this through!_ Not with everything that happened just a few minutes ago. “I- uh…”

She looked at Hange, then at Moblit, then back at Hange, as if she was trying to find some ready vows written on their faces. She then turned and looked at Levi and she realised that all she needed was just _one_ look into his eyes. It was all that she needed to do, to know _exactly_ just what she had to say. Those beautiful, small grey pupils stared back at her and told her exactly how he felt. They told her exactly how _she felt._ They reminded her just how much she _loved_ him. He reminded her just how much she needed him and _him alone_. 

“I love you…” She still knew that wasn’t enough. “…From this day forth, I vow to love you. Each day, every day till my last, dying second. I vow to be your wife, and to stand by you in sickness and in health. I’ll follow your lead. I’ll trust you wherever you take me, and I’ll pay no mind whether that’s better or worse. As long as you’re there… _with_ me,”

It almost felt like there was no one there. Just _her_ , and _him_ and he could do nothing but stare at her. _I’ll follow your lead._ That was exactly what he wanted from her, because he knew he could keep her safe. She was so beautiful. Dressed in a white skirt, and a white buttoned shirt that was stuffed beneath. It was all so plain, and so _enough._ She didn’t need any fancy dresses, nor any layers of makeup to be beautiful. _His_ Nathalie was _breathtaking_ , and she was right there _beside_ him and about to be _his own_ , just like she had always been.

“From this day forth…” he laced their fingers together “…I vow to be your husband, and I’ll protect you with my life. I vow to love you, each second of every day till my very last. I vow to let you help me carry my burdens as long as you let me help you carry yours. I’ll stand by you in sickness and in health. I’ll never leave your side. _Ever_ ,”

Nathalie was sure, Hange wasn’t the only one crying right now. She couldn’t believe she had almost _betrayed_ that man. She couldn’t believe _she almost thought that…_ She was so wrong. He was _everything_. He was everything that she had ever wanted. Everything that she had ever hoped for and _so much more_.

“I… pronounce you… husband and wife,” Hange wiped the tears that streamed down her cheeks, and she turned at Moblit nodding at him. He passed the rings around their fingers and then she turned at the couple. “Now JUST KISS ALREADY!”

Levi needed no further prompting. A strong arm slipped around her and he pressed her body against his own. He caught her lips and her hands found his face, cupping his cheeks and bringing him close. His tongue met her own and she hummed. Her body slightly arched back from the intensity of their kiss, but he was holding her tight. _Finally,_ she was _his. His alone._

Hange sighed contently and she passed an arm around Moblit’s shoulders. “When are _we_ going to get married?!”

Moblit tried his best not to start blushing and giggling like an idiot, and he just did what he did best. “ _Oh my God_ , Hange! We’re not even in a relationship!”

She raised a finger leaning closer with a sly smile. “Yet,”

Their brats were probably clapping and cheering, but Levi paid no attention. He pulled back from the kiss only to pick her up and he started walking out of the small chapel carrying her bridal style.

“Hange. You know what to do,” Levi said and Nathalie raised an eyebrow.

“Right!” Hange turned at the kids. “Eren! I need you to transform. The rest of you will help me gather all the TSF we can get!”

“TSF?” Connie asked confusedly.

“ **T** itan **S** pinal **F** luid,” Hange clarified and she turned at Moblit. “You take Historia safely back to the Capital,”

Nathalie couldn’t help looking back, over Levi’s shoulder as they exited the building. Her hands were around his neck and he carried her towards his horse. “Wait… they’re starting experiments without me?!”

“Relax,” Levi settled on the saddle and then he pulled her up with his hands tightly around her waist. “It’s not like you’ll miss anything new,”

He did have a point. All that they were going to do was gather titan spinal fluid that would be hopefully enough for the serum that they had to prepare for the mission to retake Wall Maria. One hand slipped tightly around her, pressing her back against his chest. The sun was high, but afternoon would be arriving soon. She couldn’t remember having something on her schedule today, and she could tell Levi had nothing else either. And their squad wasn’t going to be in HQ until afternoon, and- _wait a minute…_

“You just wanted us to be alone, didn’t you?” Nathalie asked as she turned and looked at him. The one corner of his lips slightly curled up. His hand reached for her hair, pulling them away and revealing some of her nape.

Levi leaned down. His teeth grazed her skin and Nathalie hummed. She bit her lip at the sudden sting. “You’ll spend the rest of the day with your husband, _Mrs. Ackerman_ ,”

 _Oh boy,_ he was going to _fuck_ her so hard and their Headquarters would be empty, which meant she could _scream_ for all she wanted. The very thought drove her _insane_. Levi urged his horse to start moving with a rough jerk on the reins and the two of them rode back to the Special Ops HQ that wasn’t far from there. It was only just a few minutes ride. 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

Her back crashed against the closed door the moment they walked in their room. His mouth was on top of her own before she even knew it. His tongue dominated over her own and she let him, _gladly._ His arms were all around her, clutching on her clothes trying desperately to take them off.

Nathalie’s hand snuck between the mess of kissing and groaning, and she pulled her glasses off, tossing them on the floor and hoping they wouldn’t break. She didn’t really care at this moment. His hands caught her shirt and he tore it open with a rough jerk that had her gasping. Too eager to spend any time on the buttons. Buttons came flying in unseen directions and Nathalie mentally cringed. She’d have to sew these back on afterwards. _One by one. Damn him._

But she’d only do it on her own shirt. There was no way she was letting him tear off his own. Levi buried his face in her neck and he started biting and licking. Her own hands blindly untied his ascot and tossed it on the floor. She started unbuttoning his shirt as fast as she could manage. She wanted him naked. She wanted to touch him just as much as he was touching her.

Her bra came undone before she had even realised it. She pushed his black jacket and his shirt down his shoulders and finally her fingers found his skin. She traced his scars. The white flawed skin that she wanted to kiss and touch all day, _all night._ He planted a rough bite down on her neck that had her squirming. He planted another one and she gasped. He loved those sounds coming out of her. He loved seeing her so helpless beneath his touch, his kisses, his bites. She was _his._ After today, it was official and no one would be able to lay claim on her.

He couldn’t deny it. That was mostly why he wanted to marry her so rushed and so sudden. He wanted to brand her as his own. To have her carry his name. _His_ marks. The title of _his_ wife. No one would be able to lay a finger on her now. No one could take her from him after this. She was all his and the entire world was about to find out.

Her fingers found his hair, burying deep within the soft, raven strands. He groaned in her neck. He pushed her skirt down with a jerk that nearly knocked her body on the floor. His hands pressed on the wooden door behind her, trapping her there against him. Levi pulled back to look at her. Almost naked. Face covered in a bright red blush. Lips, bitten _by him_. Her chest jumping and falling in heavy pants. Her fingers, clutching on the muscles of his own hands. Her white flawed skin filled with her new scars. He was going to kiss and touch and explore each and every one of them.

He picked her up before she even knew it. Her back crashed against the door behind her. The air was knocked out of her. Her wet core pressed against his underbelly and her legs wrapped around his waist tightly. His mouth was on her neck again, kissing her scars. Licking and suckling gently on every single one of them. She was slightly flinching at his touch. The pain of those scars slightly returned but then subsided right away. He was the one bringing the relief. The one who erased the painful memories. Nathalie sighed and she let her head roll back against the wooden door. She revelled in his touch. His kisses on her skin were now softer than ever. He wanted anything but to hurt her. He wanted anything but to bring those painful memories back.

But she was _his_. Those scars were his own now. Her body was his own. _My wife._ He was finally able to say that. _Finally._ He caught a nipple in his mouth and he started suckling on the erect, sensitive bud. Nathalie let out a moan that made his blood go south. _Fuck._

He let her back down on her feet. Wild eyes -filled with lust- locked on top of her own as his hands reached blindly for his belt. He unbuckled it skilfully and before she even knew it, he had her flipped around. Her face and body pressed flat against the door. His hands caught her own, tying his belt around her wrists, keeping her hands tied behind her back.

Nathalie pressed her forehead against the door and she groaned. She was utterly at his mercy now. He had her, and there was nothing that she could do to _break free._ She didn’t want to break free from this man. He could tie her down and have his way with her for all she cared. She was _his._

Her back crushed against his chest. An arm slipped around her and snuck beneath her soaked panties. He pushed two fingers inside of her with no warning. She cried out. Her hands twitched trying to reach for him, but she couldn’t. He had her tied. He had her totally under his control. But she was so _damn_ wet. The dampness must’ve reached her thighs by now.

Levi’s breath brushed hot against her ear. He bit down, teeth grazing painfully on her earlobe. She moaned “So wet for me… and I’ve barely done anything to you,”

His thumb rubbed across her clit. Nathalie squirmed. Her legs threatened to give in, but he was keeping her pressed against him. He wasn’t allowing her to drop on her knees. _Not yet._ But he started rubbing on her clit in tight, slow, deliberate circles. Nathalie shut her eyes. Her head rolled back against his shoulder. A hand reached up and caught her nipple between his fingers, giving her a sharp sting. But his damned hand wasn’t moving. He was only rubbing her clit, and it drove her insane.

“L- Levi, please…” She could barely breathe at this point, but he didn’t seem to care. He pulled his fingers out of her only for his hand to land down on her clit with a harsh slap. She cried out. Hips moved, rubbing herself in his hand.

“If you’re gonna beg, then you should at least put some effort into it,” He smirked against her ear and she gritted her teeth.

 _Damn you, Levi Ackerman,_ for making her throw away all self-respect and dignity. “Please, Levi, please… I- I want you to fuck me…” 

His fingers started working inside of her and Nathalie gasped. Her head rolled back against his shoulder. Her hips helplessly moved along with the slow thrusts of his fingers. Teeth sank on her shoulder harshly enough to hurt, but there was nothing she could do but take it. His lips found her ear. His breath brushed hot down her neck. “I won’t just _fuck_ you. I’ll make you _scream,_ ”

Before she could even say anything, his fingers started pumping inside of her and she had to grit her teeth to hold back the sounds. It was pointless. She could have muffled herself with her hands, but her hands were tied. She gave in. His fingers found a spot that drove her insane, and he tapped, and tapped, _and tapped_ against it till the only sounds she could hear were her screams and the wet sound of his fingers fucking her at an insane pace.

“L- Levi- oh fuck!” Nathalie came hard around his fingers.

Her whole body tensed, pressing back against him in a desperate attempt to push him away and let her catch her breath. But he only reminded her just how much he overpowered her. His fingers curled deep inside of her. Her legs threatened to let her fall, but Levi pushed her against the wooden door, trapping her body between the door and his own. There was no way she could fall now. Her body pressed flush against the door. Her nipples pressed flat against the smooth surface, but his fingers were still inside of her and a hand was still tight around her.

His lips found the sensitive skin of her back. He laid kisses on her scars there. The flawed white skin flinched and tensed beneath his kisses and his bites. Nathalie squirmed. The arm around her urged her to bend over. Back arched slightly. Her ass thrust against the painful bulge beneath his pants. He withdrew his fingers from inside of her and he caught his belt that still held her wrists tightly together.

He planted down a gentle bite on her shoulder. His body bent and pressed against her own. “I love the way you _scream_ my name,” He growled against her skin. His breath brushed down her exposed back and she shivered.

Two fingers thrust inside of her again and Nathalie gasped. She shut her eyes, pressing her forehead against the door. He wasn’t done with her. He definitely wasn’t. She was so helpless there, trapped and allowed to do nothing but what he said. She felt as his tongue slipped hot and slick on her shoulder blades, not leaving part of her untouched. He pulled his fingers out, only to push back in with three, stretching her wide open, preparing her for him.

“How many times do you think I’ll make you come for me today?”

Nathalie squirmed. She couldn’t tell how much she could take. He was going to push her to her limits. They had all the time in the world to see how long she could last. Always pushing her to her limits. Just like back then with the training, but now she was trapped and tied and helpless. She couldn’t believe this had turned her on. His hand landed down on her buttock with a harsh slap that made her body thrust forward. _Damn him._ The sting travelled straight to her aching heat. She needed more and he did not disappoint.

His fingers inside of her started moving. She gritted her teeth. Her body pushed back against him, but his arm was tight around her. He kept her restrained. He loved watching her like this. Trapped and desperate. At his mercy. His other hand slipped down, rubbing her clit whilst he thrust his fingers inside of her and massaged her aching walls thoroughly. Nathalie screamed at the overwhelming pleasure he forced down on her body.

She was still so wet and so sensitive from her previous orgasm. She bit her tongue harshly. His fingers pumped inside of her, whilst his other hand rubbed mercilessly on her clit. She couldn’t believe she was ready for another orgasm. “L- Levi… fuck, I’m gonna-”

“Come for me, Nat,” His pace did not falter. He was hell bent into wasting her today. She knew it. Nathalie gave in to the onslaught of pleasure and she came again. She pressed her forehead against the door. Eyes shut tightly and his name erupted from her hoarse throat. Her walls spasmed around his pumping fingers and he growled, cursing that he wasn’t inside of her to feel it. But he didn’t mind. He was going to fuck her senseless really soon. He released her hands. The belt crushed down on the pile of clothes on their feet. 

He flipped her around and before her legs could give in, he picked her up bridal style. He carried her and lied her back down on the mattress of their bed and she watched him as he pulled the last pieces of clothing off his body. He caught his erection in his hands and guided himself to her opening. He was so hard, it almost hurt. He wanted to be inside of her. But he didn’t enter her just yet. He wanted her to _beg._

She looked so gorgeous. Her body, limp, and trembling and overworked already. Her neck, her chest filled with marks. _His_ marks. He caught her wrists and he started planting kisses on the parts where his belt had stamped and reddened her skin. Her hands cupped his face and she brought him down to her. She wanted him to kiss her, and he did exactly what his beloved wife wanted. He caught her lips in his own and his tongue clashed on top of her own.

He groaned on her taste and her fingers found his hair, clenching in them and bringing him closer. His hands kept him up, but their chests touched. One hand reached down. Fingers dug bruises on her hip and she gasped in his mouth at the stinging pain. He wasn’t being gentle with her today. That was for sure. He bit harshly down on her lip, pulling till it was rosy and swollen.

“Mine,” He growled in her mouth. He pulled back to look at her. She was panting. Her body trembling in need. He started planting kisses on her cheekbone, her chin, her neck. “ _My wife,_ ”

Just hearing him saying it was enough to undo her. “Yes,”

“My wife,” He repeated it and he trapped her skin on her neck between his teeth letting down another mark. He groaned. He rubbed his hard cock down against her clit. She was so damn wet.

Her fingers clenched in his hair. Hips lifted up, rubbing herself on his cock. “My husband,” She whispered against his temple and he lifted his head up to look at her. His forehead pressed against her own. Breaths merged. Lips only just a few inches apart.

His hand found her neck. Fingers slipped around the sensitive skin. He wasn’t going to squeeze, but he made sure he let her know that he could. That he was the one who was now allowing her to breathe. He was the one allowing her hands to touch him. He had complete control over her. She was at his mercy.

And she wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Say it again,” He ordered harshly. His fingers lightly tightened around her neck, but not enough to cut her air.

Her hands slipped around his shoulders and she brought him closer. His body settled between her legs. His hard cock pressed against her opening. Grey eyes stared back at her own as she cupped his face.

“My husband,”

Before Nathalie could catch her breath, he thrust into her. She cried out. Her fingers dug on his broad shoulders. Muscles flexed beneath her touch, and he groaned. She was so tight, and wet, and warm. Her chest rose and fell beneath him. Her body trembled. So _helpless_ beneath him. So perfect.

A hand slipped down on her body. Fingers pressed gently down on the bulge that he created in her belly. Levi buried his face in her neck and he groaned. It felt so damn good. He pulled all the way out and thrust back in with force. She cried out again. Her fingers clenched in his hair. A small whimper escaped her lips. Her warm walls clenched dangerously tight around him. Levi pressed his hands around her on the mattress, bracing himself before he started thrusting.

He set a punishing pace. It almost felt like he was going to split her body two. But it felt _amazing._ Her eyes shut. Head rolled back. His thick cock rubbed roughly against her insides with every single thrust stretching her to adjust to his size. His balls slapped against her skin and the wet sound of his cock hitting inside her drove her insane.

Levi couldn’t help staring down at her as she chased her orgasm. Her body filled with marks. _His_ marks. Lips parted in silent cries and pleas. He frowned. He wanted to hear her scream. A hand landed on her cheek harshly enough to knock a cry out of her. _Good._ “You like this, Nat? You like taking this fucking cock?”

 _Oh, God._ “Fuck… y- yes! Yes, Levi… I- I do- Fuck!” Nathalie came again around him. Her juices pulled him deep. Her hole spasmed around him enough to knock a growl out of him. His thrusts as relentless as ever, but clumsier now. He was close. She knew it.

He wanted to come inside of her. He wanted to fill her with his warmth. He wanted her to be the mother of his children. He wanted to make her _his_. But she already was and he didn’t want her to suffer. He didn’t want to bring a life in this _fucked up_ world.

“ _Shit!”_ Levi pulled out of her and came with a growl on her belly. He buried his face in her neck. Both took a long moment to catch their breath. Her hands found his sweaty hair, caressing soothingly. Nathalie pressed breathless kisses on his temple, his forehead. Fingers slipped over the muscles of his shoulders and his back. Her touch so gentle. So tender. Her fingers soft. Her legs still wrapped around him, clinging on him like a messy vine wrapped on a wall of a building. She kept him in place, making sure he wouldn’t _leave._

He’d _never_ leave. He’d be an utter _idiot_ if he did. His hands tightened around her. That woman was _his_. He felt so _damn proud._ Before she even knew it, he was lying on his back, and her body pressed entirely on top of his own. Nathalie pressed kisses on his cheeks, his cheekbone, his chin. She reached his neck, kissing softly down on the white skin. His hand found her hair, fisting in them as he tore her face off of his neck and he brought her up. He caught her lips in his own and he sighed in her mouth when he met her delicious taste.

They pulled back to breathe. Hearts hammered hard against each other. Her forehead pressed on top of his own, eyes met. She giggled. She couldn’t believe she was married to this wonderful man. There was no one else out there for her. Just _him_. She _didn’t_ _want_ anyone else. Nathalie buried her face in his neck, and she felt the warmth of the blankets that he wrapped around their bodies. Dusk had arrived, so it wouldn’t be a problem going to sleep now.

“I love you, Mr. Ackerman,”

“I love you too, Mrs. Ackerman,”


	56. Queen Historia's Coronation Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little bit of smut and fluffffffffff
> 
> Thanks, y'all for all those awesome comments and kudos and all that awesome support!!! 
> 
> Enjoy!😘

Next day, was the grand coronation of their new Queen. It was no problem waking up early since Levi and Nathalie had fallen asleep quite early the other day. It was both annoying and relieving to find out that they had woken up by 4am in the morning and they had at least three hours ahead of them for the coronation. Still, the breeze was cool as it brushed across her shoulder and Levi did not miss the chance to cover her skin beneath the bedsheets before she got cold. Taking care of her was a habit that he’d never get tired of.

Nathalie giggled and she just nuzzled her face further into the warm skin of his neck. An arm was around her waist, keeping her body pressed against his own beneath the bedsheets, and Nathalie’s white, delicate fingers drew random shapes on her husband’s chest. Nathalie smiled against his skin. Her _husband. My husband._ She couldn’t believe she was married. She couldn’t believe she was married to such a wonderful man. So handsome and so perfect. So kind and strong and smart.

 _Everything._ He was _everything_ to her. She never thought she could fall so _madly_ in love with someone, and that someone was _him. Levi. Her husband._ And they just stood there, in an utterly comfortable silence, enjoying nothing but each other’s company. The soft brush of his calloused thumb on her shoulder.

Nathalie found herself closing her eyes and just revelling at his warmth, his soft touch, and at how safe he made her feel. So safe and reassured that she could give in, completely. Their bodies were still naked, but she didn’t panic like the first time. She had no reason to panic now. He had seen the entirety of her. He had kissed and touched her entire body, and those wretched scars that she so much hated on her skin. But he didn’t hate them, and that was enough for her. He had accepted her as his own. _That was enough for her._

“Falling asleep?” He asked softly as he looked down at her. Her eyes opened realising that he was right. She was falling asleep _again,_ even after all those hours of sleeping. She had gotten so much rest from falling asleep so early, but she couldn’t say she could bring herself to stand out of the bed just yet.

Nathalie lifted her face off his neck and she looked up at him. Her nose brushed against his cheek, before he turned and looked at her, and those magnificent sharp grey eyes met her own. His hair was a raven, dishevelled mess against the pillow and she could tell her own was an equal mess, but it suited him so damn well. A few strands fell on his forehead. The early blue morning light rested upon the perfect, sharp features of his face, and Nathalie was once again falling in love. How could such a _perfect_ man fall for such an _imperfect_ woman?

A small smirk appeared on his lips. One would have to be too close to see it. “Like what you see?” He said cockily and she giggled. A bright blush spread across her cheeks and she bit her lip and nodded and hummed in response. He only had one word to describe her. _Adorable._ Levi chuckled, and he couldn’t believe that he had _actually chuckled._ He couldn’t remember the last time he had even _laughed. If there ever was that time._ She just made him so _damn_ happy, and he barely knew how happiness felt like.

She leaned in and started planting small kisses around his lips. Both upper and lower lip. She did not leave them untouched, but she did not linger too long either, leaving him yearning for more.

“My husband…” she mumbled between the kisses.

Her hand found his face cupping gently. She kissed his nose, and she couldn’t tell whether he was holding his breath or whether he had just decided to _stop breathing_. Just calling him _her husband…_ He just _loved_ the sound of it coming from her. But she didn’t stop peppering soft kisses all over his face and he could do nothing but close his eyes and let her treat him with that kindness, and that tenderness that no one had ever treated him with before.

“…so handsome… so perfect,”

He could only chuckle at her words. If anybody was perfect in this room, it was her. But she barely knew that, and no matter how many times he’d tell her, she wouldn’t admit it. It was just part of her character. _His_ Nathalie could never see her own _perfection_ but she could very much see the one of others. Even _him._ The ruthless man who brought down the biggest scums of the Underground. The man who had killed and slaughtered people like _animals_. How could she still call _him_ perfect?

He caught her lips in his own and he muffled the incoherent words that she had been mumbling between the kisses. His tongue met her own and he did not hold back a moan that vibrated through her mouth. His arms tightened around her, bringing her body on top of his own. Her knees planted on the bed around his waist and she straddled him. Her body rested down against his own. One arm remained tight around her, and the other reached for her face. A rough thumb brushed across her cheek, and he only pulled back to allow her to breathe.

Nathalie turned her head to press a kiss on his thumb but he only pushed his thumb inside her mouth instead. It caught her by surprise. But she looked down at him. His grey pupils, dark with _want_. Fingers found her thighs, clenching around the soft white flesh, hard enough to hurt. Nathalie whimpered against his thumb that was keeping her mouth open and her tongue down. A string of saliva ran down her lower lip, but she could do nothing but stare down at him and wait for orders.

“Suck,”

He pressed his thumb further into her mouth and she did as he had asked. Her lips closed warm and wet around his thumb. She couldn’t understand what about just _sucking his thumb_ turned her so _fucking_ on. He added his index finger, then his middle finger in her mouth, and her chin was covered in a mess of saliva before she even knew it. He pulled his fingers out of her mouth and his hand reached down, trapping a sensitive nipple between his warm wet fingers. Nathalie moaned. His fingers travelled all around her chest, her breasts, tracing her saliva on her perfect skin.

His fingers found her belly, and then lower till he reached her dripping heat. Nathalie propped herself on her hands, planted on each side of his face on the mattress, giving his hand enough space between their bodies. Two fingers slipped gently inside of her and Nathalie gasped. She pressed her forehead against his chest. Her hips moved against his fingers, fucking herself on the two digits.

“So, fucking, wet…” He groaned against her ear as he pulled his fingers out of her and he grabbed his throbbing, erect cock in his hands, guiding the tip to her opening.

He thrust inside of her with no warning and Nathalie almost screamed, but she buried her face in the crook of his neck, muffling herself effectively. They weren’t alone in the building this time. She didn’t want a bunch of teenagers sticking their ears to their door. _They’re too young for that._ A hand caught her hair, lifting her head up to look at her. She panted hard against his lips. Foreheads pressed against each other’s. His hand slipped down. Fingers wrapped tightly around her neck, without cutting her air, but threatening to.

“…I want you to ride my cock. I want you ride me till you come all over me, is that understood?”

His voice, harsh and authoritative, just like when he was giving orders. That too was an order. She could do nothing but obey her Captain, her husband, her lover. Her _everything._

“Y- Yes, _sir_ ,”

He hissed. He loved her calling him that. “Sit up. I want to watch you as you fuck yourself on my cock,” His hand landed on her buttock harshly enough to leave a red mark of his hand stamped on her skin. Nathalie whimpered, but she did as her Captain had commanded.

She sat up, adding to the pressure around her thighs. Her hands pressed down on his belly, and the perfect muscles as she urged herself to pull him out and back in. They both sighed in the friction, and she did it again and again. Her body, and those sounds that she made, struggling to chase her release on his hard cock beneath her. She was trying to keep as quiet as possible as she massaged her insides around his erection. Each stroke made her eyes shut and her body tremble. She was finally getting the hang of riding him, and she picked up the pace.

Levi groaned. His head rolled back. Just watching her perfect body bouncing against his cock, was enough to undo him. A hand reached back and caught her hair. Fingers clenched painfully tight around the roots and he brought her tumbling down on his chest. She buried her face in his shoulder. His knees bent and he started fucking her faster and with much more composure than she had possessed. He wanted to _break_ her.

He hit hard against that sensitive spot inside of her and she almost screamed. A hand came clamping down on her mouth. He forced his fingers in her mouth, gagging her whilst his hips relentlessly continued the punishing pace. She was so close. So _damn_ close.

“Does it feel good?” He spat. He withdrew his fingers from her mouth, and he gave her buttock another harsh smack. Her body arched. She buried her face back in his neck trying to muffle the sounds that would’ve reached Trost at this point. He smacked her ass again. His thrusts never faltering. Balls slapping against her skin as his tip hit again and again on the spongy, sensitive flesh. “Tell me how fucking good I make you feel, Nat,” He growled in her ear.

She could barely form any sentences at this point. She was too occupied with her upcoming orgasm and with trying to keep herself quiet. But that was an order, and she had no choice but to _obey,_ like a good loyal _dog_.

“Y- You make me feel so… f- fucking good, Levi… fuck!”

Nathalie came. She turned her scream into a groan, muffling herself against his shoulder. Her slick liquids pulled him deep and Levi growled against her own shoulder and he pulled out. He panted against her ear. His fingers fisted in her hair as he pulled her head off his shoulder.

“Go down there and clean up your mess,” His lips almost brushed against her own as he spoke harshly. He didn’t care about her recovering from the mind-blowing orgasm. He needed to come, and he needed to come inside her mouth.

Nathalie obeyed. She slipped off of him, and down. Just a look to his glistening, veiny cock was enough to make her wet and needy again. _Damn him,_ and how well he was _using_ her. And _damn me_ for how gladly she was _letting_ him. She pulled his cock in her mouth. His hand found the back of her head, keeping his cock in the slick warmth of her mouth, till she was choking and gagging around his hard length. It felt so good. So _fucking good._

He allowed her to push him out and catch her breath. A drool of her saliva landed on the tip of his cock and he gritted his teeth trying his best to hold back the sounds. She pulled him back in her mouth and she started sucking, and licking. Her fingers found his balls, messily rubbing them. His hips lifted up, forcing his cock down her throat and she pulled him back out only to take him back all the way in.

“Fuck… Nat, I’m gonna-”

“Cum in my mouth, baby,” Nathalie mumbled against his tip. She couldn’t believe she had just called him that. She didn’t stick around to find out what he thought of it. She sucked hard on his cock until he finally came with a growl and his fingers fisting in her hair. She swallowed down his salty, precious liquid and her hand worked him fast on his orgasm, milking out all he had to offer. Levi cursed. Eyes shut tight and his body tensed.

She crawled back on top of him. He was panting hard. Muscles finally relaxed. She pressed kisses on the skin of his belly, his chest, all the way up to his chin. He caught her chin pulling her up, and he kissed her hard, tasting remnants of himself on her tongue. She had taken him all. He was expecting nothing less from _his_ Nathalie. Still, their bodies were a sweaty mess and Historia’s coronation was in a few hours.

He pulled back from the kiss, cupping her face. “We need a shower,”

Nathalie laughed. _Of course,_ he’d say that. She pressed a peck down on his lips. “I’ll go first. You catch your breath, _sir_ ,”

He gave her ass a squeeze and she gave him a filthy moan that made him bite his tongue and his cock twitched. _Damn her._ “Yes, _ma’am_ ,” 

•═❉═•⊱◄◊۞◊►⊰•═❉═•

The smell of a fluffy cake in the oven was all too familiar. Nathalie almost never had the time to cook -especially cakes and sweets- but when she did, the smell was always amazing and it always reached every corner of the building. And he knew nobody had taught her how to cook. She had only _absorbed_ all the recipes and all the knowledge on cooking that she could whenever she’d get her hands on books focused on the subject. But he could tell, most times she was just improvising.

 _His_ Nathalie was just too good with everything. So talented in whatever he taught her, or whatever she did. So _precious._ She was finished with showering when she dressed up and hastily ran down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Eating bread with jam and tea was starting to get _boring._ She did not doubt that her kids would love a slice of cake to accompany Levi’s astounding tea in the morning.

Still, it was 7am and they had a long ride to do back in the Capital. They had to be there by 10am for Historia’s Coronation. Levi was just on his way to the kitchen to grab a cup of tea and remind her that they had to wake their brats up, but Levi just found no words when he laid eyes on her.

She wasn’t dressed in anything fancy really. It was just her normal grey skirt that she had worn lots of times before, and it was a white, buttoned shirt, stuffed in her skirt. She had a white apron wrapped around her waist and a white cloth kept most of her hair back. Still, those few locks that landed on her forehead, were difficult as ever to restrain back, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. She was _perfect_.

Her moves, as delicate as ever, not making much noise to wake the kids. She dried the utensils she had used to make that cake, and she placed them back in their shelves and drawers all around the kitchen. He couldn’t even understand how she remembered exactly what and where to put it.

Hands slipped around her before she knew it. Her back met his chest and his lips found her nape. So beautiful. So perfect. And she was _his._ His lovely _wife._ Nathalie giggled. Such a sweet sound made his heart flutter beneath his chest. She paused doing the chore, and her hands found his own that were tight around her.

She turned around to face him with her wonderful smile and her hands reached for his ascot. He was tying it far better than she could ever hope to do it. She just tucked it place for him and her hands reached for his black jacket, before she stared back up at her husband who was ready and dressed for the coronation.

“Ready?”

He nodded. His hands slightly tightened around her. “Can’t say the same about our brats,” His hands reached for a large frying pan and a wooden large spoon. “I’ll go wake them up,”

Nathalie cringed and she snatched the utensils off of his hands. “I’ll go wake them. No need to startle them like that!”

Levi sighed as he watched her untying the apron off her body. “May I remind you that they are soldiers. You need to stop spoiling them,”

“They may be soldiers but they’re still children. If anything, it is their right to be spoiled,” Nathalie made her point before she headed to walk out of the kitchen. “Look after the cake for me!” She said and Levi barely knew how to do that.

He never got to ask. She was already gone. He mentally cringed as he stared at the direction of the oven and he knew he was going to end up letting that cake _burn._ He sighed heavily and he set off to make some tea. The only thing he was familiar with in the kitchen was the kettle. Levi could take down the wildest of titans, but he could not look after a _freaking cake._ He only hoped Nathalie would get back in time. 

_Oh boy._ He turned and looked cautiously at the direction of the oven again. He’d never felt so helpless about something before.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Your Kudos and your Comments help me continue this story! Lemme know if you like it! Lemme know if you don't! 
> 
> Love y'all! ❤  
> ~your author, Sandy


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